Chapter 78 - Repairs
Sam woke first the next morning, and though it had felt good to sleep so soundly, she had a few moments of worry. She toyed with the edge of the blanket, rolling it back and forth as she frowned. There was one problem left, and one consent she had yet to receive. It wasn't just her life at stake, it was Jolinar's, or rather, Jolinar's extended life.
Jolinar herself woke a few minutes later, and caught the tone of Sam's thoughts. *Something you regret?*
~No, just worry,~ Sam said. ~I feel like I've gotten close to Martouf and Lantash, but they've always seen me as separate from you. What if they can't accept me as, well, as part of what you've had for over a hundred years?~
*So we are come to this, then,* Jolinar said, approaching the issue with gravity that felt right. *It is always difficult, this part of being a Tok'ra. But rarely are there true issues.*
~Yes, but this has all been weird from the beginning,~ Sam protested, letting the worry flow free. ~We settled on being friends, but though you were there to push me to see otherwise, I don't know if they'd want that.~
*Don't underestimate things as they are,* Jolinar said. *They see a part of you every time they look at me; it is some of what we are. I do not fear that they could possibly reject you, it is just not likely.*
~This is insane,~ Sam muttered, gripping the edge of the blanket. Her heart was starting to flutter, with worry and excitement crowding out the pure joy of last night. ~This is like proposing marriage, and that's not something I ever wanted to do.~
Jolinar smirked slightly. *In a sense, you are already part of it. You are just opening yourself up to all possibilities.*
Sam flushed, but she couldn't see the humor. All her original mortification was tumbling back, from those first days as they had all tried to shift around her, put all spousal closeness on halt. It was even more emotional now, as she felt a desperate desire to be a part of this, to share in this aspect of Jolinar's life that felt like it should be hers too.
*Well, what are you going to do?* Jolinar asked, half demanding.
~Talk to them,~ Sam finally said, and tried to swallow down both the way her stomach had risen in her throat, and the blush that still colored her cheeks.
Jolinar helpfully stepped in for that, though she was back again a few moments later; this was Sam's to do, without distractions.
Sam cornered Martouf and Lantash a few corridors off from the main labs of the base. She wasn't picky; it was quiet and alone.
"I need to talk to you," she said, hands folded in front of her to keep from wringing them.
"Of course," said Martouf quickly, curiously, stepping a little closer to her.
Sam wasn't sure what that boded, if anything.
*Stop thinking about it,* Jolinar advised.
"You know the whole situation with me and Jolinar," Sam started, giving a roundabout approach.
Martouf nodded, expectant of more.
"Well, you've been around from the beginning, you know almost exactly what's been going on," Sam continued, and despite her efforts she was slightly wringing her left hand. She frowned and went on. "I know you've probably been expecting us to find Jolinar a new host at some point."
"It was your plan, was it not?" Martouf answered, looking grave.
Sam felt mortified to be more direct than this, but she didn't have a choice. "You wouldn't mind if that didn't happen, would you?"
There was a pause, and Sam could almost hear the throb of the living tunnel surrounding them.
"Do you..." Martouf started slowly, a light in his eyes that wasn't Lantash. "You would stay with Jolinar?"
"It's not settled yet," Sam jumped in, nervous but looking him straight in the eye.
But Martouf took a deep breath and looked down at the floor. He looked back up with pleasant surprise. "You love us enough to stay?"
Sam didn't have an answer for that at first, she just stood, apparently in as much surprise as him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Jolinar was as unmoved as she said she'd be. "Well, yes," she finally said, the words coming out with a bit less smoothness than she would have asked for.
"Really?" Martouf said, a kind of relieved smile filling up his whole face.
Sam had to avert her eyes for a moment, tell herself not to blush. "It's been for a while," she said, almost a mutter, trying to clasp her hands and not fidget with the excitement of this whole situation.
"Lantash and I had not dared to hope that," Martouf answered, and suddenly the curiosity they'd expressed at the beginning of the conversation seemed like detachment compared to the emotion in their face now. And Sam wondered how many other times they'd presented a cool appearance that was just that—a presentation. Now, the warmth directed at her and Jolinar was something she could almost feel, even with a few feet of distance between them. "But we have considered you Jolinar's other half for quite some time," he admitted. "We dreaded your departure, even though we would never have told you."
"You're sure?" Sam asked, even though she wasn't sure if she needed to. "You wouldn't rather someone else, someone more enthusiastic?"
Martouf flashed her a quick smile, and then Lantash took control, stepping in a little closer. "We are not the gambling type," he said, with a slight quirk of one eyebrow. "Not when the near-perfect choice is already within our grasp."
Jolinar couldn't stay back any longer, and the rush of her pleasure made Sam's flush even higher. "Then I guess it's done, I'm definitely staying," Sam said, trying not to smile just because they were, but failing miserably.
"Then may we?" Lantash asked, raising an eyebrow as he stepped within a few inches of Sam, one hand brushing her waist.
Sam's heart started to flutter, and the last bit of unity with Jolinar was achieved as she was not sure who managed to say, "Of course."
And then the circle was complete. Lantash, Martouf with him, leaned down for a kiss. Not the affectionate ones that they'd known for months past, but one that promised so much more. Sam's breathing seemed to stop, and her mind and Jolinar's felt too light to stay down to earth. Lantash slipped his arms around her back, scooping her up to his chest as the kiss deepened, finally running a hand through her hair until Jolinar and Sam seemed to overwhelm themselves with the appreciation of just that particular sensation.
Giving in to all that she'd held back on out of guilt, Sam understood exactly what this was supposed to be like, each emotion and feeling doubled and not halved, and loving them as two halves of one being that was now both precious and hers, theirs, her and Jolinar both. She couldn't imagine love, or this marriage, working any other way.
When Lantash finally stopped to let them breathe again, Sam felt like she had been touching sparks the whole time.
"You are sure?" he asked.
"Mm, yes, definitely," Sam said, slightly breathless, but smiling as she pulled in his head for seconds. Her last coherent thought before she and Jolinar drowned in the blissful sensation was that it felt like she had loved them all her life, had been tasting the sweet taste of their lips for decades, knew every millimeter of their face by touch alone.
She was here to stay.
ooooooo
Daniel woke in the cafeteria, laid out on a cot, Shifu not beside him. He jerked to more than waking, and instantly regretted it as his head felt like a rock. The world spun a little and he had to lie back, but he had been noticed.
"That's right, lie still, Daniel," said Janet, moving to his side from one of the other of the many beds laid in the cafeteria that he'd just seen.
"Where's Shifu?" Daniel asked, closing his eyes to keep the world normal.
"With Sha're," Janet said, and she opened an eyelid to flash her little penlight in.
"Sha're is back?" Daniel asked, feeling a surge of relief and curiosity.
"Just relax, Daniel," Janet said soothingly.
"What happened?" he asked, opening his eyes and blinking, trying to look around without sitting up. His heart clenched a moment. "Is this infirmary overflow?"
"You still need rest, I don't think you need to worry about any of that," Janet said.
"Don't do that to me," protested Daniel, grimacing. "I promise you, I'm not sleeping at all until I know what's going on—how is everyone? Are we going to make it?"
Janet sighed, but she didn't leave. "Things are at a standstill. The past few hours, the Re'tu slowed down. Maybe they need to sleep like us, we don't know. But they holed themselves up in a defensive position, and they've been there since then. We're all taking the time to get what rest we can, in shifts."
Daniel nodded slowly, closing his eyes again. "And the plan?"
"Well, that happened before the stand-down," Janet said, with another sigh. "Dr. Mckay and Dr. Miller did make it to where they were supposed to go, but the formula wasn't quite right, and they got ambushed on the way back. Dr. Miller was shot in the abdomen, and Dr. Mckay couldn't get to her before the Re'tu drove him back towards the lab. If it hadn't been for Sha're hearing what happened on the radio and disobeying orders, I'm not sure if Jean would have survived. Sha're fought her way back, and the Re'tu had gone by that point, so she dragged Jean all the way down here to me."
Daniel couldn't say he expected it, and it didn't exactly lessen his worry...but Janet's words were a reminder that some things still went the way they were supposed to go.
"I've kept her here since then, for all your sakes," Janet said. "Dr. Mckay was frantic, but he thinks he's close to a solution as well. He also hasn't slept in over two days, which has me worried, but the general won't let me do anything about it."
Just then, Janet's radio buzzed. "We've got movement again!" called Dixon's voice.
"That's not a good sign," Janet said shortly, and stood up to go off.
"Wait," Daniel said, grabbing at her arm. "Can I get a radio?"
"You need to rest, Daniel," Janet said sternly, and Daniel didn't really want to oppose her when she looked like that, face drawn and circles dark and heavy under her eyes.
"Not just yet," Daniel said.
"If I tell Sha're that you're awake, will you try?" Janet said, pursing her lips as she compromised.
Daniel nodded, and Janet sighed in acquiescence and walked off. Before she got too far away, Daniel heard another transmission, "Mckay, where's that goddamned transmitter?"
How could Janet expect him to rest like this? Daniel closed his eyes and hoped to all the gods he didn't worship that this wasn't turning into the last battle for them all.
ooooooo
Sam had no idea that time could fly so fast. When she woke the next morning, sprawled across Martouf and Lantash's chest in a room she'd never been in before, she had a hard time accounting for all the hours of yesterday since they'd made the final agreement.
It would almost have been embarrassing, had not Jolinar been so utterly comfortable with this position. She had a feeling that Jolinar would be essential in keeping awkwardness out of everything that was to come, but also that it wouldn't last long in any case. For all intents and purposes, she was now on her honeymoon.
Absently tracing marks on her new husband's bare chest as she lay snuggled against it, Sam thought that hers was remarkably happy. Last night had been messy, to say the least, and a little frantic after so much time and worry had kept all four of them apart. But though Sam blushed to admit it, passion and love had been mingled enough to carry them through without a true hitch.
And now she had her own memories to verify all of Jolinar's, the ones that had been spilling out in bits and pieces ever since their blending, but had come raining down in a flood of overwhelming erotic emotion last night. Sam had hardly been in the mood to process them, barely having enough self-control to not rip off Martouf's tunic before they got out of the dining hall after supper. A little sleepy comparison several hours later had been conclusive—she was going to enjoy this life.
She laid her cheek on Lantash and Martouf's chest, feeling the slow heart-beat beneath. Closing her eyes, she joined Jolinar in a little simple appreciation of the relaxing qualities of waking up and not being alone. It was better therapy than several dozen warm baths.
~So now...~ Sam mused lazily.
*I believe we may simply enjoy ourselves for the next couple days,* Jolinar said, with unsurprising but unusual ease. *The Council will understand. Or perhaps they will not, but that does not matter.*
"Good morning, beloved," came Lantash's slow and tangy words just above their head.
Jolinar raised her head, scooting a couple inches up his chest, Sam's focus following hers without a hitch. "A truly good morning for the first time in more than a year," she said, and didn't hesitate before devouring his mouth in a kiss.
A couple days of this after all they'd been through would be a reward they'd easily earned.
ooooooo
Jack stood over the last Re'tu carcass, blood starting to stain his sleeve. He exhaled slowly and looked across the hall to where Dixon struggled to stay on his feet.
"General, just one more sweep," Jack said into his radio, and then stumbled, and sat down to lean against the wall. God, it had been a long four days.
"So, we made it," Dixon said from across the room.
Jack had hoped it would sound a lot more triumphant when someone got to use those words. Since the first Re'tu attack now four days behind them, he'd gotten approximately seven hours of total sleep, and had watched five good men die. More were wounded, and more might be missing. He didn't have enough strength to do the numbers.
One thing did stand out vividly in his mind, and that was that Mckay had saved the world. Jack didn't begrudge him this one, especially not after seeing what the scientist had become by the third day into this. The Re'tu had renewed their attack several hours before, after a regroup and recharge session that had done both sides well. Mckay had just downed all the caffeine pills that were remotely safe for him to take, and even with his sister recovering from surgery several levels below, he managed to make his way around the base to find all the pieces necessary to finally put together a device that would send a visibility beam that affected Re'tu.
Jack had also seen him almost collapse from exhaustion immediately after handing the device over to the military, and from what he heard, Janet had confined him to a bed and he hadn't even protested. It had been up to Jack and his men and women to finish the job. After four days of fighting the bugs, they had a pretty good count of how many there were. Jack was 99% certain that they were all dead now.
Even lying wounded and exhausted up against the wall, though, he didn't trust that. They'd sweep through the base as a group, blocking off all entrances that couldn't be locked due to rubble, and only then would they consider themselves done.
After that, Jack didn't really care what happened. Somewhere he knew that they'd all have to sleep for at least a full day, and once they could unlock the big door between them and NORAD, the collapsed levels would have to be shored up and then repaired. They'd have to turn the power back on, and the gate, let the offworld teams know that they could come back home.
It might be for the last time, was Jack's last thought before some officers came running up to take the Re'tu-beam-weapon and carry on the sweep, leaving a couple behind to help Dixon and Jack down to the very-full infirmary.
ooooooo
Sam had never felt so on top of the world as when she and Jolinar finally got back to the work part of it, informing the Council that they were back in business. Garshaw had not even appeared momentarily surprised at Sam's decision, and had also given no fuss when both them and Martouf and Lantash had been out of commission for two full days.
On the other hand, had it not been for Jacob and Selmak, Vala might not have been so quick to understand what had happened.
*She should understand, it was better for her this way,* Jolinar said, after they had kissed Martouf and Lantash a goodbye as they went out on a mission in the morning. *Now we have a clear plan.*
~Amazing what a little tension release will do for that,~ Sam mused, and she was starting to feel Jolinar's boldness about the new status quo. "How have you been?" she asked aloud, as soon as she found Vala in the mess hall.
"Confused," said Vala, but her face seemed to brighten on seeing them. "You are well?"
"Yes, very," Sam said with a smile she couldn't hide, and didn't want to; no reason to hide anything anymore. "Better than ever."
Vala nodded. "That is good."
"We didn't totally forget about you, of course," Sam quickly assured her, putting a hand to her arm. "That's why we're here."
"You have a way to take me to Earth?" Vala asked eagerly.
Sam paused. "Listen, I haven't thought about that yet. I had another idea. You'll get there, I promise, but it's not going to be the easiest road. You probably won't be coming back." Jolinar understood Sam's meaning more than Vala, she thought.
"That is the point," Vala said bluntly, with one raised eyebrow.
Sam smiled and indicated a seat at a small table. They sat down comfortably, and Sam continued. "Well, yes, I understand that. But I think it would be best for you to burn as few bridges as possible."
"I am not burning bridges," Vala protested, slightly confused.
"Not consciously, I know," Sam said. "But if you don't want all that's happened to you to follow you around the galaxy, it would be good to take a little proactive measure."
Vala looked suspicious and nervous.
"It's not much, I think," Sam said. "Just...I'd like to go to Dorieth with you."
Vala flinched. "That doesn't seem like a good plan," she said with a shaky half-laugh.
"This isn't just for you, either," Sam said, grave. "There are a lot of scars there, and I hate to admit it, but Jolinar and I weren't flawless in our plan. I want to apologize. And for you—well, you don't need to apologize, of course, so it's just so that they can solidify the fact that you're you now."
Vala swallowed, and stared down at the table.
"It won't be a big deal, I promise," Sam said. "You've already worked with plenty of people who knew the whole situation, Dorieth won't be any different. It'll feel good for everyone to finally relate as equals, allies now that conflict is over."
"You're not just sending me out to do this on my own?" Vala asked, looking unsure still.
"No, no, of course not," Sam said. "And I promise, as soon as we're all done with this part of the galaxy, I'll find a way for us both to get back to Earth somehow. I need to help the Abydonians make contact too, and I'm pretty sure it's possible. This is just a precursor to all that."
Vala shrugged. "As long as it doesn't hurt, I shouldn't say no, right?"
"Well, that's as good a motto as any," Sam said with a broad grin. "You've been talking to my dad, haven't you?"
"Selmak has told me many times that he and Jacob are very wise," Vala said. Then a bit of a smirk crossed her face. "It may be true, but..."
Sam laughed. "Oh, I know what you mean."
*And you have not even explored all the memories that I have of that genre,* Jolinar commented.
~Hey, there's a lot in there,~ Sam said. ~I have a lifetime to share them all, I don't want to rush it.~
"Will we be going tomorrow, then?" Vala asked, taking a deep breath.
"If you're ready," Sam said, getting up from the table.
"Patience is not my best quality, I believe," Vala said smoothly.
*She's not the only one,* Jolinar admitted. *Perhaps tonight I might look at your own past more closely?*
~You don't need to ask..~ Sam commented as she nodded to Vala and rose to depart.
*Nearly seven months of habit doesn't disappear all in an instant, Samantha,* Jolinar countered. *But—I gladly accept your comment.*
Sam's smile didn't fade as she walked off to inform the Council of just what plans they had left.
ooooooo
The infirmary had survived fully intact. That made a difference in the tone; so had the survival of the gate room and the cafeteria. Little things like that made their home feel less ravaged.
Still, Daniel had stood with Sha're and looked at the hall where their quarters lay, seen the burn marks on the walls, the dust of rubble at the edges. Daniel had squeezed her a little tighter to him and suggested that they ask for VIP quarters. In all the mess, there was no fuss about that.
The team assembled in the infirmary. Mckay had slept 26 hours straight after his research and development binge that had saved all their lives. Now that everything was clear, Janet had ordered him to stay settled, and had surreptitiously encouraged him to submit by placing him near his sister's infirmary bed, and just across from where Jack and Dixon recovered from lighter injuries.
Daniel, by now, was allowed to go on his own. But he stayed there with Sha're, Teal'c joining them in near-constant watch over their companions. Clara and Dave's kids had come as often as they were allowed, but it wasn't that often with all the repair going on around the base. But Clara was allowed a secure phone-line in, and that was enough. Dixon had to share the line with Jean Miller, but they were both too grateful to be alive to be selfish.
Jean was sleeping, and Sha're was getting Shifu cleared for being infection clean at the moment, when Daniel joined the rest of them.
"Gate's still down," he reported, as Mckay gave him an expectant look. "Not a big surprise there, though."
Still, no news had felt a little more like good news. Even with all of them still alive, the room felt dull.
"Now that I've thought about it, what about confidentiality?" Mckay asked.
"Oh, that's got to be shot to hell," Dixon said from across the room.
"To purgatory, maybe," Daniel said. "But we only have to worry about NORAD." He frowned then.
"I'm guessing we're not getting a gold star on the next report," Jack said darkly.
"No," Daniel confirmed, and sighed. "We're probably going to be lucky if they don't put a coverstone on the gate, at least shutting it all down for a while, until better security or benefits come to light."
"I have examined the damage throughout this building," Teal'c spoke up. "From watching your repair teams at work, it could be mended in three days, and this base restored to original power."
"But then what?" Daniel said. "That's the question. After all the little dangers that have come through, this one caused major damage, and could have doomed Earth."
"Oh, they weren't that bad," Jack retorted. "Colorado, maybe, not Earth."
Dixon snorted, and Daniel did raise an eyebrow in acknowledgment, but levity didn't change the facts and they all knew it. "Well, this day was coming for a while, we all saw that."
"Given my first year on this planet, however, I would not have expected this quick a downfall in this project," Teal'c commented.
Daniel hesitated, not sure if he wanted to admit a thought that had been trying to get free for a couple weeks now. "Sam was kind of a lucky charm, wasn't she?" he said quietly.
No one answered, but no one denied it. It hadn't been all Sam herself, but her loss had started a trend that had led to some of the worst disasters, at least from a political standpoint. What they needed was some kind of positive boost to get them started on the path again; what they had was more disaster.
"You think she's still out there?" Jack said, breaking the silence after a minute.
"I'd bet my life on it," Daniel answered, and it felt good to think about that again.
It would hurt the most, if they were really shut down, that he wouldn't have a chance to apologize to her.