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Chapter Five
"Jesse," Beca sighed as she opened the door of her hotel room and found him standing there. "What do you want?"
"Can we talk?"
"No," she said as she walked over to the bed. Jesse walked in and shut the door behind him. "There's nothing to talk about."
"I beg to differ," he said, sitting down next to her. "There's a lot to talk about."
"Like how you're dating my step-sister?"
"That's one of the things," he said.
"I don't want to talk about that," she said coldly, knowing exactly what he wanted to talk about.
"You're not the only one who lost someone, Beca. I did too."
"No. That was a way out for you, and you took advantage of it."
"I didn't want a way out," he said, grabbing her hands in his. "I wanted to be with you. I wanted to get through that tough time together, not apart. You wouldn't answer my calls; you would ignore me in public. You gave me no other options except to attempt to move on. Which I kind of did, but not really."
"It was too hard to look at you," she said quietly. "Seeing you was just a constant reminder of what I lost."
"What we lost."
"It's my fault, Jesse," she said, sniffling a bit as she tried not to cry. "I wished it when I first found out."
"It's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault."
"We could have been a family, but I ruined that because I wasn't strong enough."
"Don't say that," he said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "Come back to the house tonight. I don't want you alone."
"I'll be fine. I'm a big girl, Jesse."
"I know, but I'd feel better. Please, Beca."
"You have a lot of people at your house already, I don't want to burden your parents."
"You're coming back with me, end of story," he said, grabbing her suitcase before she could unpack it. "Come on now."
"Jesse," she whined, but it was no use.
"Can you come on, already?"
"Learn some patience, buddy," she grumbled as she grabbed her jacket.
"One minute," Jesse said as he walked over to the reception desk when they were in the lobby. "Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me what room Aubrey Posen checked into."
"There's no Aubrey Posen staying here, sir."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive," she nodded.
"Thank you," he said before walking back to Beca. "Hat said he was dropping Aubrey off here on the way to the bar."
"Maybe she decided he needed a drink. I sure as hell could have used one," she muttered.
"Alright, let's go back to my house," he said, picking her luggage back up.
"Shouldn't we go get Aubrey?"
"No, she's in good hands. My brother won't let anything happen to her," he said. "Let's get back to the house."
Everyone was asleep by the time they got back. He led Beca up to his bedroom and dropped her luggage on the floor.
"You know," Beca said quietly as she stared out the window. "It'll be a little over two years since it happened."
"Two years, one week and five days," Jesse said to her. She turned around in shock and he just shrugged. "I may not have been as badly affected as you were, but it hurt for me too, Becs."
"I was such an idiot," she sighed, leaning against the wall. "I should have reacted better. I should have realized that you didn't want an out."
"I was an idiot too. You were right; I didn't even take you out on a real date during the whole thing. We were together because of the circumstances," he said and he saw a flash of hurt pass through Beca's eyes. "But I wanted to stay with you no matter what. I wanted to be a real couple with you, more than anything."
"Really?" she said.
"Really," he repeated with a nod. He cleared his throat after a few minutes, the air filled with a weird tension. "So, wanna watch a movie?"
"Not really," she smirked. "When did I ever want to willingly watch a movie?"
"Your movication obviously stuck though," he said. "Come on, please? It's been a while since I watched a movie with someone."
"You have Aubrey."
"She doesn't watch movies either," he said. "I can imagine you two bonded over that."
"You're telling me that you don't force Aubrey into watching movies with you, but you once pinned me down to watch The Hangover," Beca said. "What the hell?"
"I made the mistake of watching The Exorcist with Aubrey one night and cracking a joke at the part when she pukes," Jesse said and Beca nodded in understanding. "She refused to watch anymore movies with me after that. So I watch them alone."
"Well," Beca said, pushing off the wall and walking over to the extensive movie collection he still had in his childhood bedroom and pulled a DVD off the shelf. "I was always fond of this movie."
"Really now?" he said.
"Yes. So, we can watch it and I won't complain and I'll try not to fall asleep," she said. "Only because it's Christmas, nerd."
"Is this my Christmas present?"
"Sure, saves me from spending money," she laughed as she put the DVD in and climbed back onto his bed. She planned on sitting a respectable distance away from him, but he clearly had other plans when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest.
"This is the best Christmas present ever, Becs," he sighed.
"Don't you forget about me. I'll be alone, dancing, you know it baby," Beca sang quietly as the opening scene of The Breakfast Club began to play.
"Singing our song?"
"We don't have a song," she said.
"We used to," he said. "This is our movie too. Watched it the night you told me you were pregnant."
"I cried myself to sleep with this on the night I lost the baby," she said. "We were going to name the baby Casey, remember?"
"Of course. We were going to spell it K-A-C-I if it was a girl so she could have a four letter name like yours," he said with a smile.
"I have dreams sometimes, of what it would have been like," she said after a few minutes. "You know, if I hadn't miscarried and if we stayed together and had the baby. I'd never mention this again to anyone else because it's way too girly and sentimental for me, but they were good dreams."
"What was it like?"
"It was great," she said with a smile. "You'd be teaching him to ride a bike, or I'd teach her how to read. You would force us to watch movies every night because you needed to get to the baby early so she or he didn't end up like me."
"Sounds like the perfect life."
"Too bad it's only in my dreams," she sighed. "It's kind of late, nerd. Maybe I should go upstairs and sleep in Stacie's room with Aubrey."
"Nope, you're staying right here with me," he said, tightening his hold around her. "Right where you belong."
"Can't believe you invited Benji over for Christmas breakfast," Hat said as they headed home from O'Learys. "Stacie's going to freak."
"I'll make her a little bit uncomfortable. The least I could do," she said and then stopped. "I'm sorry, she's your sister. I shouldn't be saying this to you."
"No, go ahead," he smiled. "I like to watch Stacie squirm a bit, it's part of the joys of being an older brother. Besides, you seem like yourself right now. I don't want that to stop."
"I do feel like myself," she said, looking out the window at the snow falling. "An extremely drunk version of myself who is planning how to get up those stairs at the Inn."
"You're staying at my house, remember?"
"Right," she nodded. "I haven't felt like myself in a long time."
"Why's that?"
"Dunno," she shrugged. "Started dating Jesse, started getting really into my work. Lost who I was along the way."
"You think you found yourself again?"
"Maybe," she sighed. "Jesse's great, he's really great, you know? Nicest guy, so talented, really hot."
"Yeah, he's a chick magnet," Hat said with a smirk. "I'm sensing a but."
"But things just aren't the same. I know relationships take work; I get that, especially when you've been with someone for a while. But it just feels like so much work lately, from both of us."
"Maybe the flames burnt out."
"I love him, I really do," she said. "I just don't think I'm in love with him. I think he feels the same way about me, he just won't say it."
"So why stay with him?"
"He's the greatest guy I know, and he's the only guy who's stuck with me for so long and who doesn't belittle me all the time. I don't want to lose that."
"Don't stay with Jesse just because of that," Hat said. "You'll both be unhappy in the end. You're a great girl too, Aubrey. You'll find someone like Jesse who's in love with you and you love back."
"You really think so?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "I do."
Next chapter is Christmas morning. Hope this was good for all those looking forward to some Beca/Jesse interaction. I know a lot of you hated Aubrey, which was good, but she's not too bad. Everyone has their reasons for how they are, and I tried to show that with Aubrey.
Let me know what you thought of this chapter :)
