Chapter 6:
A/N: IMORTANT: Okay so some of you all were confused on why Dean would let Cas get tortured if he knew he was going to be having their baby. I thought about this for quite a while because I didn't even know and realized I made a mistake. In reality Dean probably wouldn't have done that so I made a mistake and didn't think of why Dean would do something like that. After wondering and contemplating it I finally came up with this; Sam always comes first to Dean which means he would either choose himself or the next best person. Because Sam's life was on the line he wasn't thinking rationally and the baby didn't cross his mind while Lailah was torturing Cas. All he was thinking was that he has to save his baby brother. I hope that makes a little more sense and I'm sorry for the confusion.
Name Camael pronounced: {Caw-may-el}
Name Lailah pronounced: {Lie-la}
"Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they're big, flashing signs that something needs to change." ~ Gretchen Runin
[XBaby of IniquityX]
Dean:
Dean is, to say the least, feeling extremely guilty about letting Castiel get tortured, especially since it caused the angel to miscarry. He's been avoiding the subject all week but he knows someone will tell him eventually. Unfortunately that time is now. "Dean, can I speak with you?" Castiel asks as he enters the kitchen where Dean is currently playing with Camael.
"Yeah, of course." They leave the little nephilim in the kitchen and walk into Bobby's study.
"Sam told me that you let me get tortured," Castiel says once they are out of earshot.
Dean doesn't look at him, the guilt building up and up. "Listen Cas…"
Castiel doesn't allow him to speak. "Just tell me if that's true. I told you I would never read your mind so I'm not; I just want to hear it from you."
Dean thinks but then finally whispers, "It was Sam, Cas."
Dean finally looks at him but can't for long for the pain in Castiel's eyes is unbearable. "I understand." Castiel says but Dean knows it's a lie.
"Cas," Dean stops him from leaving. "I didn't know it would cause you to lose the baby. I'm sorry."
"Dean, I said I understand." And with that the angel disappears with a flutter of wings. Castiel got his flying abilities back a few days ago and when he did he was so happy that it made Dean feel as if everything was okay with the world.
Dean goes back to the kitchen to see Camael crying. He rushes up to the sobbing child and scoops her up. "Hey bud, what's wrong?" He asks, though the question is useless because Camael seems to be crying that whole hearted cry where you can't stop even if you tried. "Hey it's okay, shhhh, what's the matter?" Dean keeps trying but the little girl continues to cry, hiccupping and sniffling like a maniac. "Shhh, there, there, it's okay." Dean rubs her back and holds her close until the child stops her bawling. He then sets her back down and helps her wipe all the tears away. Her eyes are red and puffy and her cheeks are flushed pink as well. "You going to tell Dad what is wrong?" She shakes her head and Dean sighs. "Why not?"
"B-b-because I *hiccup* don't want *hiccup* too." She says, still wiping the excess tears.
"Why?" Dean pries but the little girl just shakes her head again. "You want hot cocoa?" Camael nods and Dean stands up to boil water. He can still hear Camael sniffling and hiccupping behind him as he opens a packet and dumps the powder in a mug. When the teakettle begins to squeal he turns off the burner and pours the hot water in the mug, stirring the cocoa with a spoon. He places it in front of Camael who is now in a chair at Bobby's table. "It's hot so wait for it to cool off a little."
"Not a kid's cup?" She asks, still having that 'I just cried' voice.
"Nah," Dean sits in the chair beside her. "I think you're grown enough to drink from a mug."
"I'm going to make a mess." Tears start to form in her eyes again.
Dean smiles at her. "If you do we'll just clean it up, okay?" She nods and Dean sits there until she finishes her drink. "Look at that, my little baby is growing up so fast, drinking with a mug and only a few dribbles here and there." Camael grins wide at her father. "You want to go play? I think I hear Uncle Sammy in the library."
She nods then gets up, rushing to the library yelling, "Uncle Sammy, will you play with me?"
Dean chuckles in amusement as he continues to clean up the cocoa mess and place the mug in the sink. He can't get why Camael was crying out of his head but he decides to ignore it. He then gets himself a mug of black coffee and hears a flutter of wings behind him. He turns around to see Castiel standing there. "Cas listen, I'm sorry, please don't be mad at me." Dean, though he doesn't like to admit it, begs. He sets his mug down and steps close to the angel with his best puppy dog eyes he can manage.
Castiel pulls him into a hug. "I forgive you Dean; I know Sam always comes first."
Dean wraps his arms around the slightly shorter vessel. "No it's not even that. It was like instinct, an automatic response. The baby didn't even cross my mind and that scares me. It scares me that I can sacrifice my own lover and soon to be child for my brother when you two should have come first. It scares the hell out of me that I'm capable of doing that," Dean rambles. "I mean what if it was Camael the bastard was torturing? Would I still have chosen Sam over my own daughter?"
"I highly doubt that Dean," Castiel tries to reassure but it doesn't work.
"Really Cas?" Dean pushes away from his lover with wings. "'Cause I don't."
Castiel scrunches his eyebrows and tilts his head in that famous confusion look. "Dean, listen, I don't think you would have sacrificed any of them. You probably would have pleaded with Lailah to torture you before you ever let him hurt our daughter and your brother."
"But I let him torture you and you were carrying our son," Dean says, the guilt pooling over the edge.
"There's always another time to try. Getting me pregnant was a mistake anyway, we hardly wanted the boy," Castiel says.
"I wanted him. I mean, yeah at first I didn't but it only took me a few hours to want him, to really want him," Dean explains. "And besides, we didn't want Camael at first either but now look, I wouldn't change a thing."
"If we have another child, Dean, then there is a possibility that he or she will also be hunted, just like Camael," Castiel says.
"I don't care," Dean starts. "I'll protect my children with my life." He chuckles. "Wow I never thought I'd say that, after all I never thought of myself as father material."
"You're a great father Dean," Castiel reassures him.
Dean looks away. "Yeah, except when it comes to my husband being tortured and causing him to lose our little boy."
Castiel steps closer to him. "Do not blame yourself Dean. It wasn't your fault. No one could have known me being tortured would cause me to lose the child. If you want to blame anyone, blame Lailah and kill the bastard."
Dean smiles at him then kisses him. "I like the way you think." They make out for a little while before they hear Camael's laugh and then Sam saying something that makes the little girl laugh some more. "But for now, my angel, let's wait a little while before we try to have another kid. Like you said our second child may end up getting hunted by demons and angels alike, too, and personally, protecting one is enough for now."
"Okay Dean." Then the next thing Dean knows is they're in their room. "But can we practice a little?" Castiel starts to suck on his neck.
Dean moans. "Sure thing my horny little angel."