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Chapter 15: Blasts from The Past

Julie smiled as she and Peter walked down the boardwalk together, eating ice cream. She hadn't done this is years.

"You seem nervous," he laughed.

"I um," she laughed, "I haven't done this in a while."

"Done what?" He asked.

"Been on a first date," she shrugged.

"How long is a while?" He tried.

"Ten years," she said. He looked at her. "And we went to the mall, so, I really don't know what to do."

"You've really only been with one guy?" He said. She laughed.

"Not exactly," she said and leaned against the rail. He joined her. "See, my ex and I started dating in high school, dated all through college and then lived together. So I haven't been on a first date since I was fourteen."

"But you've been with other guys?" He said.

"Sure," she laughed. "But it's complicated, I mean, one of them was in high school for a brief period that Jimmy and I broke up, and we didn't really date exactly. He was my best friend growing up."

"You had a Joey and Dawson thing going on," he smirked.

"Yeah," she laughed. "That's how it put it back then." He laughed. "And the other was Paulo, and I guess we went on a first date, there was Sangria involved and even that was like seven years ago." He nodded. "So I figure the dating landscape has changed since then."

"Oh significantly," he nodded.

"Please fill me in," she smiled. He leaned down and kissed her. She was taken by surprise, but mostly by how much she liked it. There was something fascinating in kissing someone so brand new. There was no twisted convoluted history here, just a nice, cute guy who happened to like her. "Well, we did that."

"I kind of figured," he teased. They kept walking.

Tammy, Steve and Tommy sat awkwardly at the dining room table at Tammy and Tommy's dad's. Steve squeezed Tammy's hand gently. She'd barely spoken all night.

"So," Pauline said cheerfully. "You must be excited Tammy, I hear you're showing in Bryant Park this year at Fashion Week."

"Really?" Eric said and looked at his daughter. Tammy shrugged. She was excited about Bryant Park, but she hated discussing her career with her father. "That's amazing Tam."

"Yeah it is," Steve said, staring him down coldly. He had no affection for Mr. Duncan. He knew all too well how paternal pressure could almost destroy someone.

"How are the kids?" Tommy said. He also knew how much of a hot button issue Tammy's career was. "Why aren't they here?"

"Oh," Pauline said, "Tony begged to stay at a friend's tonight and Tina's at summer camp."

"Super," Tammy mumbled.

"How's Diane Tommy?" Eric tried. "Have you two patched things up yet?"

"If they had wouldn't she be here Dad?" Tammy said. Tommy looked at her pleadingly. He could tell she was itching for a fight with him and he didn't have the energy.

"Um, she's doing OK," Tommy said. "We're getting there, I think. She's been going through some stuff lately." Tammy looked at her brother. He hadn't mentioned anything like that to her.

After Tammy and Steve sat in the car they'd rented. She had her arms crossed and he looked at her.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on with you or do I have to keep guessing?" He asked. She looked at him. "I mean you're always in a bad way after spending time with your dad, but this is exceptional."

"It's nothing," she shook her head. "Don't worry about it."

"I do worry about it," he sighed. "Tam, come on, talk to me."

"When we were in Maine," she whispered. "I started thinking about," she looked out. "The baby would be three."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I thought about it too." She slid her arms around him and they kissed softly. "That was the hardest week of my life, you know? When you came here after, and we weren't talking." She swallowed. It hadn't been that hard a week for her. But she'd been with Fulton. "When was the last time you painted?"

"What?" She laughed. "Steve, I haven't had time."

"I think you should make time," he said. "I hear you at night, you know? When you get up and go walk around the apartment or the studio." She swallowed. "You're always happier when you paint. It gets all of the demons out."

"My demons are a part of me," she whispered.

"I know," he said. "You wouldn't be the woman I love without them, I know there's a darkness in you that won't go away, but if you're always living in that darkness," he sighed. "I just wish you'd let me fix it, I guess is what I'm saying. But you've never let me fix anything."

"I don't need fixing!" She hissed, ending their tender moment and getting out of the car.

"Tammy," he groaned and got out. "I didn't mean that." She looked at him. "I just don't understand what's happening to us." She looked down.

"I think I should stay here for a while after the wedding," she sighed.

"OK, yeah," he nodded. "That sounds good. We can definitely stick around for a little bit. I've got vacation time stored up and…"

"Steve," she whispered. "I didn't say us, I said me." He stopped and blinked at her.

"Oh," he said. "You're breaking up with me." He nodded.

"No," she said, "no I'm not. I just need time and space to clear my head. Maybe paint a little, I don't know exactly."

"So you're going to stay here?" He said. "While I go back to New York?"

"Yeah," Tammy nodded. "That's the general idea." Her cell phone rang, she sighed and looked at it. "Jules this really isn't a good time."

"I think I'm about to do something really stupid and I need you to talk me out of it." Julie said into her cell phone leaning against the sink in Peter's bathroom.

"What could you possibly have done?" Tammy sighed.

"I went out on a date with Jaime's new assistant." Julie sighed, "and now I'm hiding in his bathroom."

"Why are you hiding in his bathroom?" Tammy said.

"Who's bathroom?" Steve said.

"Some guy she went on a date with," Tammy sighed. "You want to talk to her?" She held it up.

"No!" Julie said, "Don't give the phone to Steve!" It was too late though.

"What's going on Cat?" He said.

"I just made out with a guy I met six hours ago and now he wants to have sex with me," she said. He sighed. "I know how much you love hearing about my sex life Steven."

"So are you going to do it?" He asked.

"No!" She said. "I'm not a put out on the first date kind of girl."

"You put out on our first date," Steve pointed out. "You didn't even go on a date with Paulo and you fucked him."

"That's different!" Julie said, "I was in love with you and with Paulo I was really drunk."

"So either get out of there or get really drunk," he shrugged. "Or fall in love with him."

"Thanks for your advice," she hung up the phone. Steve smirked and handed the phone to Tammy.

"You're an asshole," she shook her head and giggled.

"Ah, but I'm you're asshole," he said. "And you wouldn't have it any other way would you?" She laughed and kissed him.

"I don't think I would," she whispered. He smiled.

Fulton walked into the apartment after a late night ride. Tanya was asleep on the couch wrapped up in a blanket with their cordless phone on the coffee table. He smiled and kneeled down in front of her.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she smiled stretching.

"You should have gone to bed," he whispered. "You have work in the morning."

"I'm OK," she said and stood up. "I couldn't before you came home."

"Sweetheart," he hugged her. "I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my life, you've gotta learn to just relax a little OK?" She nodded.

"How was tonight?" She whispered.

"Good," he smiled. "Pretty uneventful, a few domestic disturbance calls, that's about it." She nodded. "We picked up a drunk, that was pretty funny." Tanya lay down on the bed as he went into the bathroom. "We caught him pissing on the car, which is always the best way to bust a drunk." He walked back out and saw her curled into a ball half asleep. He kissed her softly. "Sleep tight honey, I love you."

"Love you too," she mumbled. "I don't think it's nice when the drunks piss on your car."

"I don't think it's particularly nice either," he laughed. "Go to sleep."

"Mm, don't tell me what to do," she mumbled. He smiled as she buried her head in his chest. He twirled one of his fingers into one of her curls. "Fulton," she whispered. "Have you called Tammy?"

"Not yet, why?" He mumbled.

"Cause Lisa's going with Dean to the wedding," she said. "And you know how she can't keep a secret."

"Right," he said. "I'll call her tomorrow." Tanya nodded and slowly fell asleep.

Claire wandered through the mall with Connie in a stroller. The little girl was fidgeting begging to be let out. She was fascinated by the sights and sounds of the world's largest shopping complex.

"Mommy!" Connie said.

"Baby, what?" Claire said with a laugh and crouched down. "I can't let you out, there are too many people here."

"But Mommy!" Connie sighed, "look!" The little girl pointed. Claire looked and saw Charlie Conway walking away from the ice rink. "It's him! I know from the pictures." Claire swallowed and stood up. She turned around and stood up. "Mommy, do you think he'll know me?"

"Claire?" Charlie walked over. He swallowed. They looked at each other.

"Hi Charlie," Claire said quietly. "It's really good to see you again."

"You too," Charlie said. "Hi there," he smiled at Connie, who's little throat suddenly went dry. She fidgeted and Claire leaned down and let her out.

"Hi," she whispered. "Is my real Mommy here too?" Charlie looked at her.

"You know who I am?" He said. Connie nodded.

"Aunt Lena gave me your yearbook," the little girl explained. "I sleep with it under my pillow." Charlie looked up at Claire. "So is she here too?"

"Um, no," Charlie said. "I'm going home to her right now." Connie nodded and looked at his face as he smiled. She pressed his dimples in.

"Just like mine," she whispered. He laughed.

"Yes, they are," he smiled. "I should go." He stood up. "It was good to see you Claire, and to meet you Connie."

"Wait," Connie said and pulled on his pant leg. "What am I supposed to call you? I can't call you Daddy, I have a Daddy."

"You can call me Charlie," he smiled, "OK?"

"OK," Connie nodded, and hugged him. "I love you Charlie, thank you for giving me to my parents." He nodded and hugged her back.

"I love you too," he whispered. "More than you will ever know." Claire smiled. That couldn't have gone better.

Julie woke up the next morning on Peter's couch. She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Here," he walked over and handed her a cup of coffee.

"You do pay attention," she laughed. "Sorry about crashing here last night. Also not you know, sleeping with you. I just couldn't go home and deal with mother, also I want to take it slow."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I'm Jaime's assistant remember," she nodded. "I know how things are going between you two."

"Right," she said. "I guess you would know." She swallowed. "Just, I want a good relationship with my mother, but we've never been very good at keeping it up for longer than a few months."

"Even when she was sick?" He asked.

"No," Julie sighed, "when she was sick it was different, but she was different then too. She cared about," she sighed, "well about people and about me and Josh, and my dad." She closed her eyes and pressed her hands against her face. "God, I don't know, I'm done trying though. I can't do it anymore." He kissed her softly. "I have to go."

"Now?" He laughed.

"Yeah," she sighed, "I have to get on a plane to Minnesota."

"Minnesota?" He raised his eyebrows as she nodded and gathered her things. "Why?"

"Because I have to go to my ex boyfriend's sister's wedding," she said casually. She kissed him. "I'll call you OK?" She flitted out. He stared at the door.

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