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Chapter 18: Past Encounters

Julie stood quietly at the bar waiting for the bartender to notice her. She felt remarkably invisible tonight.

"Hey," Jimmy walked over and smiled carefully. She smiled back. He waved to the bartender. He towered so high over everyone else it was impossible for him to be ignored. The woman walked over. "Can I get a gin and tonic, whatever the hell beer you have bottled and a Captain and coke." Julie stared at him. "You really look like you could use a drink Jules. Unless you don't drink those anymore."

"I switched to Sea Breeze, actually," she said.

"Wow, Japan really changed you," he teased. She laughed. "Look, um, we didn't really get the chance to talk, in the park that day."

"Jimmy, there's not a lot to talk about." She sighed. "I mean, it is what it is." He nodded.

"You're home for good now," he said. "That's worth talking about!"

"You're with someone else," she said. He sighed. "And I'm moving back to California."

"Since when?" He frowned.

"Since a few days ago," she said. "Which is none of your business anyway." He frowned.

"Does Paulo know?" He asked.

"That's really none of your business," she said.

"That's a no," he nodded. She glared at him as the bartender came back. She picked hers up.

"Thanks for the drink," she said huffily. "And I noticed the bracelet Bonnie was wearing." He froze. "If you want I can send my promise ring to her too. It's sitting in a box on my nightstand in the Newport house."

"Julie," he sighed.

"I get it, you're with her now," she said quietly. "I do, but I thought you respected what we had enough to not,"

"The bracelet was my mother's!" He said.

"I know, and that's why as soon as I found it I found a way to get it back to you," she said. "But it meant everything to me when you trusted me enough to give me something of hers. What does it mean to her?"

"Now you're in the it's none of your business zone," he frowned. Her blackberry went off. "Work? I doubt anyone else would be calling you."

"Well we don't all get our daddies to keep us while we finish up post grad work," she shrugged.

"You didn't mind that keeping when you were living in the place," he shrugged. "But I guess bumming off my family isn't a habit you've exactly broken is it?"

"James," Bonnie walked over.

"I should go find Brad or something," Julie mumbled.

"Thanks for the rescue," Jimmy smiled.

"You looked like you needed it," she kissed him. "We're OK, right?"

"Of course," he said and hugged her close.

"Hey sexy," Janet walked over and smirked at Portman.

"Hello Mrs. Vanderbilt," he said. "Jesus, what is it with me and women who marry into this family?"

"Just so long as you remember that I was the first," she winked. He laughed. She looked over at Elena, who was straightening a fallen garland. "But not the one who stuck huh?"

"What are you talking about?" He said shaking his head.

"Sweetie," she said, "Every one can see you mooning over little Ellie over there." He frowned.

"Everyone or you?" He raised his eyebrows. "You've always been able to see things that other people couldn't." She laughed. "Are we going to talk about that time we ran into each other in Miami?"

"My husband is here," she frowned.

"Right," he nodded. "Sorry." He kind of hated himself for sleeping with Janet that night. He had a sick feeling about the fact that he'd been with a married woman. But the thing was, she wasn't just some woman, she was Janet.

"Who's that guy Janet's talking to?" Dave frowned, Emily looked at her.

"Fucked if I know," Emily shrugged, her face going red. Janet was clearly flirting. Emily's guilt had only grown since spending more time with Dave. But they'd been so drunk, neither of them remembered if anything had actually happened. And she couldn't help it, she was jealous. "Bradley," she grabbed Brad. "Who is that?"

"With Janet?" Brad frowned. They nodded. "That's Dean Portman."

"Elena's ex?" Dave said.

"Yup," Brad nodded. "Janet deflowered him, when he was fifteen."

"Seriously?" They said at the same time.

"Yeah," Brad said warily, "uh, you guys knew she was a huge whore in high school, right?"

"Who's a whore?" Elena bounced over, she glanced over where they were looking. "Oh," she said, her heart jumping into her throat. "Right."

"You OK, baby?" Brad whispered and kissed her.

"Um, of course," she said, with a perky ex cheerleader bounce. "I should go say hi."'

"Lena," Brad whispered.

"Brad, really, I'm OK," she laughed. She walked over to Dean and Janet. "Hi," she said with a smile.

"Hi Elena," Janet said. "I'll let you two get caught up," she kissed him on the cheek, "it was good to see you."

"You too," he nodded. "Hey."

"Hey," she said softly. "You look good."

"So do you," he said. "How're things?"

"Good," she said. "You?"

"Good," he nodded. "I meant to call,"

"Yeah me too," she said. "You and Janet got caught up huh?"

"What's going on with her?" He asked. "I mean are she and her husband doing OK?"

"God only knows," Elena rolled her eyes. "They keep secrets very well in that family."

"Your family soon, huh?" He said. She blushed and looked away. "Lena," he whispered. "Honey, I,"

"Don't," she shook her head. "What's the point Dean?" She got up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "It's good to see you, really."

"Look, can't we just go someplace and talk," he sighed, and looked over, "someplace where your fiancé isn't trying to blow up my head with his mind?"

"OK," she said quietly. They walked outside for a little bit, both feeling extremely awkward. "So you brought Lisa, not a date."

"Lisa's a really good date," he smirked. "See how she immediately abandoned me to talk about poopy diapers with Cassie?" She laughed. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," she said. "Sometimes."

"Sometimes," he nodded. She looked away. "Look, Lena, I came here tonight to see you. I think you know that."

"Dean, I can't do this," she said. "I'm marrying Brad, I-I love him, and we've been together for so long."

"Just because you love him doesn't mean he's right for you," Dean shook his head.

"And just because we still love each other doesn't mean that we're right for each other!" She said, blushing immediately realizing what she said.

"So you do still love me," he smiled stepping closer to her.

"Dean, don't be stupid!" She insisted. "Of course I still love you! I'll always loved you, it's just that that love doesn't mean the same thing it did it high school!"

"But you do still love me," he said leaning in and kissing her. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck and whimpered as he pulled her in close. "I still love you too, Lena. I've always loved you."

"How's Tanya?" She said, knowing there was a cruel edge to her words and her tone. He frowned.

"She's fine," he said and kicked the ground. "She and Fulton are getting married." She looked at him. "He asked me not to tell Tammy until he got a chance to." She nodded. "What? You think he's wrong?"

"No, I think that's a really hard conversation to have with your ex," she whispered.

"How would you know?" He said. "You didn't have it!"

"Excuse me, I called Jimmy like an hour after I got engaged!" She frowned. He chuckled.

"You can still make me laugh Cole," he whispered lifting her chin. They kissed again. "One hour in my room and I promise you'll forget him." She took a deep breath.

"That may work on those skanks who stand around outside of the locker room," she said. "But I've seen past your bullshit since day one, Dean Portman. You have to give me more than that."

"I wanted to give you everything," he whispered. "But then you walked away baby."

"Right," she said. "But that's the problem. I walked away, because you still wanted me to be the girl in the pink dress, and I'm not that girl anymore, I haven't been since," she took a deep breath. "Since I took the first pills."

"That's incredibly unfair," he said, "I never wanted you to take those pills Lena!"

"No," she shook her head, "but since I've been with Brad I haven't wanted to either!" He snorted. "What?"

"You're an addict Lena," he said, "it's all in degrees."

"Because you know so much about it!" She huffed.

"I know that I love you," he said softly, cupping her face in his hands. "And I hate to point in out, but you're wearing a pink dress tonight." She blushed but didn't push him away as he kissed her.

Julie sat out on the step wiping her eyes. Jimmy walked out and sat down next to her. She looked at him.

"Hey," he said. "I'm sorry about before. I lost it."

"My dad called," she whispered. He stared at her. His first thought was for Mikey and Steph. "Jaime filed the papers, she and Josh are getting divorced."

"Oh God Jules," he hugged her. "I'm so sorry, that sucks." She nodded falling safely against his chest and she started sobbing. "Shh, sweetheart, it's OK."

"I'm going to be just like her." She said. "I p-push everyone away, and I c-can't settle down." He lifted her face. "I run when things get hard."

"No Julie," he shook his head, "you're not like her." She looked at him. "Honey, by the time she was your age she'd abandoned a family. We just fell apart. It's completely different." He wiped her eyes. "Please don't cry, you know I can't stand it."

"Jimmy, I," she whispered. "I miss you. I know this is the wrong time to, I mean," she sat Indian style. "I just, life without you, now that I'm standing still, it was easier to live without you when I was busy."

"Don't do this," he stood up. She looked up at him. "Julie, you made a choice." She stood up, face to face, or since she'd taken her heels off and he was so tall, face to chin. "I asked you not to go!"

"You said we would see," she said, "I left, I called you every day, and I wrote you and then you stopped taking my calls, and answering my emails, so I figured you just needed space." He looked away. "And then I come home for the first time and Tammy told me you had a girlfriend."

"You were gone for four months," he said. "What was I supposed to do?" She looked up at him.

"You could have had the decency to actually break up with me!" She yelled. "Instead you just started dating someone else and stopped talking to me."

"Right, and you were clearly very upset about it," he snorted, "since you immediately flew to Rome and fucked Paulo."

"I cried for days," Julie said. "And then yeah, I went to Italy, because it's comforting for me to be there." He grunted. "And yeah, I spent the night with an old friend."

"Old friend," Jimmy laughed, "right. He's wanted to stick it to you since you were fifteen." She folded her arms, standing right in his face breathing heavily. "He doesn't deserve you."

"You think I don't know that?" She said quietly. "But what was I supposed to do? As if there's anyone on this planet who's as good for me as you are?" They stared at each other, practically breathing each other's breath. A few moments later Jimmy's arms were wrapped around her and his mouth pressed against hers. She kissed back joyously. This kiss was hungry, almost violent. Her whole body was aching for him, she pressed tightly against him and he tangled his hands into her hair.

Bonnie walked outside to take a breath of fresh air and froze inhaling deeply when she saw them. She wanted to scream but her voice couldn't be found. She simply turned around and got into the elevator. He wouldn't get the satisfaction of a scene from her.

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