Sherlock sat in his one bedroom apartment in Belize, where his next target was. His signature curls were shaved off and what was growing in its place was dyed a honey blonde. He was even slimmer than ever without his doctor to make sure he was eating. His face was covered with little scars, but his body had taken the most damage. He was currently staging an operation to lure out yet another of Moriarity's henchmen. With each target neutralized, he came closer and closer to his goal. He hoped John wouldn't be too angry with him, not once he shared what all he'd done for him. He still remembers that look of pure agony on John's face as he was lifted into the ambulance that was actually filled with Mycroft's men.
"I-I can't be a party to this! What would John say if he ever found out?" Molly screamed at the person before her who a couple hours ago she was convinced was dead.
"He must never find out! This is very serious, Molly. His life and the lives of others hang in the balance."
"So say your mission is a success...how will you explain COMING BACK FROM THE DEAD?!" Molly had apparently lost both the crush on Sherlock as well as her meek demeanor, as he'd never heard her voice get that loud or that fierce.
". . .I'll just explain everything. John will understand."
"Will he? He's distraught, Sherlock. We almost had to keep him from following you off the roof of this place, and you think that he'll just..."
"He will!"
"I still think this is monumentally selfish, Sherlock."
"You don't understand just what is at stake here. I can't sit here and make a stupid girl realize what's going on, I've got a mission to fulfill."
"Fine, I wish you luck on your mission," she spat sarcastically. "Just what is John to do in all of this?"
"...I just want him to live."
"And if he learns to live without you?"
". . ."
After all this time, Sherlock still had no answer to that. What if John had learned to live without him. It stood to reason after all. For all intent and purpose, John thinks him dead.
'No...no matter what, he'll be there. We can go back to how it was. I just have to be gone for a bit longer, John.' he thought before putting on a cap and heading towards the door. He after all, had a job to do.