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Chapter 32: Decisions and Futures

Tammy sat quietly in the studio, staring at her cell phone. She knew she wanted to talk to Tommy. But how did she tell him about what happened? She finally sucked in her breath and dialed.

"Hey big sister," Tommy said after a few rings. "Haven't heard from you in a while, everything OK?"

"Not exactly," she said. "I'm totally lost."

"Yeah, I caught that," he said. "With the throwing yourself at Fulton and breaking up with Steve parts." She laughed. "Come home."

"I can't," she said. "Work and other stuff."

"Sure," he said quietly. "So what else is there?"

"I did something kind of awful," she closed her eyes. "I sort of hooked up with this guy."

"Tammy, I know you've only been with two people," he laughed, "but when you're single, that's not really awful, just kind of skanky."

"He's married," she said.

"Oh," he said. "And this is someone you know, or someone you just met?"

"No, I know him," she sighed, "and I know her, and they've been having problems," she sighed. "Do you know who I'm talking about yet?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "I think I got it. So you're freaking out."

"I've spent ten years calling Pauline the devil," she sighed. "Now I am her."

"Hardly," Tommy said. "Look, if it's who I think it is, he doesn't have kids, and they're not living together anymore. So those are big differences."

"I guess," she said quietly. "But still, I mean, I broke up with Steve for kissing a married woman! I'm sanctity of marriage girl."

"True," he said. "So does this mean you'll suck it up and forgive Dad?" She sighed.

"I don't know what it means," she said.

"Are you gonna see him again?" He asked.

"I don't know," she sighed, "I mean, yes, because I can't really avoid him, with work and my painting and stuff."

"You should probably deal with his partner," Tommy said. She sighed. "Unless you want to have something else in common with his wife, then you shouldn't hang out with her either."

"Alright," she said.

"Are you OK? I mean, like really, in the larger sense?"

"I will be," she said. "I just need to figure this out. How's Diane?"

"She's good," he said. "You know considering everything. She has to um, get a part of her lower intestine removed, which is both gross and painful. But um, we think she's going to be OK."

"I'm glad," she said. "Give her a hug for me."

"Sure," he said softly. "Hang in there, you're gonna be OK."

"Yeah," she said. "Love you."

"Love you too," he said. They hung up and she sat quietly for a minute. Her phone rang again and she looked at the caller ID.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," Dave said on the other end. "I told you I'd call." She smiled. "Look, if you feel weird about what happened, I get that."

"No," she shook her head. "I mean, I kind of do, but I really enjoyed it. I'm just kind of freaking out."

"Anything I can help with?" He asked.

"No," she said. "No, um, it's my stuff."

"OK," he said carefully. "Do you want to get together tonight?"

"Sure," she said. "Why don't you come over?" He smiled.

"Sure," he said. "See you later."

Janet sat quietly in a café sipping on a cappuccino. She looked quietly at the list in front of her. Her agent had set up go sees for her. Go sees! She was a supermodel for crying out loud!

"Janet?" She looked up.

"Kiera?" She said. Kiera smiled. "Um, hi. Sit down." Kiera pulled out the other chair and sat. "How are you?"

"Good," she said. "I heard about you leaving RDC, that's like super brave of you."

"Oh," Janet said, "yeah. Um, that's just the official story, um, Tammy felt really bad about it all so we got to do the, 'we made a mutual decision to move on,' thing, but really um, I got fired."

"Seriously?" Kiera said. Janet nodded. "God, that sucks."

"Yeah, I know," Janet said.

"How's Dave?" Kiera asked carefully. Janet closed her eyes.

"I don't really know," Janet whispered. "We're um, we're kind of taking a break."

"Who'd you sleep with?" Kiera asked. Janet looked at her. "Or him. It's just the last time you two took a break it was me." Janet laughed.

"Emily," she sighed.

"I hope you were the one who slept with Emily," Kiera said. Janet nodded. "That's bad."

"I know it," Janet said. "He'll get past it though. I mean, he has to, right? He got past you."

"Yeah," Kiera said. "But I'm not his family, or his business partner." Janet sighed. "I'm sure he will though. He really loves you. None of us ever thought Dave Vanderbilt would settle down, and look, here he is, settled." Janet smiled. "You look good though."

"So do you," she said. "It's good to see you."

"You too," Kiera said. "Look, um, what we had was so long ago, so we should be friends right?"

"I think um, while I'm trying get my marriage back together, hanging out with my ex lesbian lover is not the best plan," Janet said.

"Right," Kiera nodded. "But when your marriage is back together, and you and Dave are like trusting each other," Janet laughed, "call me. We can get a drink or something."

"Sounds good," Janet smiled. Kiera smiled and stood up and walked out.

"Really good to see you," Kiera said. Janet smiled.

"You too," he said.

Julie sighed unlocking the back door of her car and undoing Steph's seatbelt. Mikey got out of the front seat and walked towards the school.

"Mike," Julie said. He turned around and scowled at her. "Have a good day."

"Whatever," he mumbled. She sighed. He hadn't gotten any better. In fact he'd gotten worse. Especially now that Jimmy had found a way to transfer and finish up his internship in Portland and was now living with them. Mikey really didn't like that. He walked back towards the school.

"Why's Mikey so mad at you?" Stephie asked as she and Julie walked towards where the other first graders were with their parents.

"He's not mad at me exactly," Julie said. "He's just really sad about Mommy and Daddy, and he's having trouble dealing with it."

"I'm sad about Mommy and Daddy too," Stephie frowned. "But I'm not mad at you."

"It's more complicated than that," Julie said. "He doesn't like that Jimmy's living with us either."

"I love that Jimmy's living with us," Stephanie bounced.

"Well, I do too," Julie said. "But Mikey doesn't love Jimmy the way you do."

"Hey Julie!" Taylor walked over.

"Aaron!" Stephanie squealed and hugged him.

"Hi Steph," Aaron said softly. "Hi Julie."

"Hey Aaron," Julie said. "Are you psyched for first grade?" Aaron nodded. "Stephie," Julie knelt down and Stephanie hugged her. "Listen, if you get sad or scared you tell your teacher and go to the office and call me or Jimmy OK?"

"OK," Stephanie nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too," Julie whispered, "kiss." Stephanie kissed her big sister softly. "Have a good day." Taylor hugged and kissed Aaron. Julie was wiping her eyes and they walked away. "Is it always this hard?"

"Has been for the past three years, yeah," Taylor said and wiped hers. "Oh, there's a PTA meeting tonight, you should come."

"PTA?" Julie said. Taylor nodded. "I can't join the PTA! Tay, two months ago I was the above the title producer for a movie that is already generating Oscar buzz based on some stills that are on IMDB and some script pages that leaked onto the internet!"

"God, Steve is good at his job," Taylor shook her head.

"Yeah, really good," Julie said. "But I can't join the PTA!"

"Julie," Taylor said. "This is your life now. I thought you wanted to do what was best for Steph and Mike." Julie sighed. "I bet Jimmy would think it was really hot. He's totally into this parenting thing."

"Yeah, Jimmy and I aren't having sex," Julie said. "When I'm ready for it to happen no PTA induced extra hotness will be necessary, he's never been very good about waiting." Taylor laughed.

"Lucky bitch," Taylor said. "You're choosing celibacy, I get it foisted on me because Brett decided to take a two month long job as a captain looking for game fish." Julie looked at her.

"That's what you wanted though right?" Julie said. "A separation, but without Aaron catching on?"

"Yeah," Taylor nodded. "I guess. I always miss him when he leaves though, no matter what's happening with us." Julie hugged her. "God, did you ever think when we were in high school that Brett would be a fisherman?"

"When we were in high school," Julie said with a laugh. "I was pretty sure that Brett was going to be," she stopped and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You thought he was going to be like your dad," Taylor finished. Julie nodded. "Honey, you're doing so well."

"I know," she said. "Tammy thinks I should put Mikey in therapy."

"It couldn't hurt," Taylor shrugged. "Although it hasn't really worked for Tammy has it?"

"No," Julie laughed. "I guess not. I don't know, if he doesn't snap out of this sullen moody thing by the time hockey season rolls around and he has to hit people and control that kind of anger, then maybe we'll see about the therapy."

"Good plan," Taylor nodded. "Think about the PTA, alright?" Julie nodded. "See you soon."

Tammy smiled looking up at Dave and kissing him after having sex that night. Her legs were still wrapped around him. They kissed deeply.

"Can I ask you something?" She said.

"Sure," he said, "what's on your mind, kid?" She looked at him and he rolled onto his side. So did she.

"Why me?" She asked. He brushed her hair out of her face. "I mean, you've been with a lot of women, and you could have been with all these gorgeous models and other beautiful women after Janet, and you're with me. Why?"

"I don't know," he said. "I mean, you're right, I have been with a lot of women, especially to your count, Miss I've slept with two guys in my whole life thank you very much!" She laughed.

"You up me to three," she shrugged. "I'm still behind Julie though. She has four now." He laughed.

"Anyway," he said. "Before Janet, none of them were exactly intellectual equals." She smiled. "You are, you're also beautiful and incredibly sexy. And after Janet, I want something else, besides the beautiful and sexy if it's going to be more than just sex."

"This is more than just sex?" She asked and kissed him.

"Yeah," he said, "I mean, we're friends at least." She giggled, straddling him. "I guess technically you're my mistress."

"I kinda like that," she said. "It makes me feel very naughty." He laughed and kissed her.

"What about you?" He asked. "This is a rebound thing for you right? Why me?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I mean, I still love Steve, and I'm scared of being completely alone, because I never really have been, and it helps to be with someone who gets that I'm still in love with someone else, two someone elses actually." He nodded.

"I should probably get moving, huh?" He whispered.

"Not necessarily," she shook her head. "I mean, you're staying on the boat?"

"Yes," he said.

"So just stay here tonight," she shrugged. "If you want." He kissed her softly.

"Waking up with you in my arms?" He said. "I like the sound of it."

"I was more thinking we wouldn't sleep," she kissed him again. He laughed.

"I like that better," he said softly. She smiled and wove her hand into his and then frowned. "What now?"

"If you're marriage is over," she said softly. "Why are you still wearing your wedding ring?"

"Oh," he said. "I guess I forget that I'm wearing it. The married thing really bugs you, huh?"

"My dad cheated on my mom," she whispered. "And then he married her. That kind of thing sticks with you." He kissed her.

"I don't have a fourteen year old daughter, Tammy," he said. "This doesn't affect anyone but me, you and Janet." She nodded. "But if you want to stop, I get it."

"No," she shook her head. "I feel like now the only thing that would feel worse than being with you is not being with you."

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