The unease was palpable as the duo who once were inseparable, now were having trouble making eye contact.
"So..your children. What are they like?" Sherlock hesitantly asked after a while.
"Well, They've recently turned two. I have two boys, Lucas and Nigel. They're both very well-behaved so far. They've just begun speaking, but they aren't...overly thrilled about it. I mean that in the sense that, starting a conversation is one of the most difficult things about them, for strangers anyway. Around Greg and I they relax and will have a bit more of a chat, but they're not chatty by any means. They are very affectionate though. They like to be held or hold on to our trousers while we walk around the house. The only main difference between them besides their hair is their appetite. If one likes one type of food, you can almost guarantee the other doesn't."
"Do they...do they look like me?"
"Well, Nigel has your hair color, but other than that, not really. They look almost like copies of me when I was their age."
"Oh..." Sherlock softly said.
"Y'know we'd never actually gotten around to discussion of us becoming parents. Did you ever really want children?"
"If I'm honest, I'd have to say no. My childhood was privileged but scarring. If you include my past and my general dealings with emotions, I can't say I would have made a very good father."
"I see."
"But, for you I would have tried."
"I honestly didn't think I had what it took to be a parent. My parents were pretty negligent when they weren't drinking, so I can't say I had any good role models. I was always really stiff and uncomfortable whenever treating a child in the clinics, but I dunno...Ever since the boys were born, I can't imagine my life without them. You see, when you love someone, you do things you'd never dream of doing."
"...like jumping from a building."
John sighed. "I suppose."
"Would you have told them about me? About where they come from?"
"Eventually. Perhaps once they reached puberty or maybe even adulthood. I felt that it wouldn't be fair to Greg, who's been with me every step of the way. He's their other father, I don't want them thinking otherwise."
"I see...yes, you're probably right. So...you're in love with Greg, then?"
"I am. Just as much as I was with you, but in a different way."
"Different?"
"Yes, you both awakened sides of me I never knew existed. Made me see things, feel things, in ways I never would have on my own."
"I'm happy for you, John."
"I appreciate that Sherlock. I'll always treasure what we had. Who knows, we may even go back to being friends."
"But what if...what if I can't go back to being just friends with you John. You too, showed me and taught me things. You made me feel things I hadn't felt before. What if I don't want to accept that we're meant to be only friends."
"Then we sever ties for a while, and try to start fresh a few years from now. Let me make myself perfectly clear, Sherlock. I'm not leaving Greg."
They sat in the fog of uncomfortability once more until John broke it this time.
"Besides, this could be a real turning point for you. You 'revive' yourself and clear your name. You can go back to working cases and perhaps now that you know how love feels, you can find someone who'll make you happy."
"You made me happy, John. What if I mess it all up again?"
"You can't live expecting your mistakes to repeat. Avoid them at all cost, but never forget them. That's how you grow as a person and find happiness to hold onto."
"When did you acquire such wisdom?"
"Wisdom comes from experience, Sherlock. You're a brilliant man, but you closed yourself off from matters of the heart for far too long."
"Perhaps you're right."
"...would you like to see pictures of them?" John suddenly offered.
"Of the children? Of course."
John pulled out his phone and browsed through the photos with Sherlock. There were pictures from the day they were born, their first Christmas, their first birthday, cutting their first teeth, visiting their grandparents, there were even a couple of them and Harry. The kind of picture that appeared the most frequently, however, was of them sleeping. They looked so peaceful and angelic. Sherlock had to admit, John was right, they really looked nothing like him. They both had John's plump nose and sapphire eyes. They even had his forehead wrinkles when they got upset like he did. It was strange, Sherlock thought the second he saw them, he'd immediately grow attached but, he didn't feel anything really. They were just children. Even though they shared half of his genetic make-up, he felt that that was all he could provide for them.
"Thank you for showing me these, John. They're lovely."
"They're what kept me going...well them, and Greg. That's why we have to hurry and get rid of this Moran creep. I don't want to miss anymore of my time with them than I have to."
"Right...well, according to the intelligence gathered, if we don't find him, he'll find us."