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Chapter 40: Facing The Truth

Tammy woke up the next morning and looked at the ring sitting on her night stand. She groaned and rolled over pulling her pillow over her head. What was wrong with her? Steve wanted to marry her. They'd broken up almost two months ago and he was still carrying a ring around.

"Hi," Ana said walking in. Tammy smiled and sat up.

"Hi," Tammy smiled. Ana handed her a cup of coffee. "Mom, you don't have to,"

"We need to talk," Ana said. Tammy sighed and plopped back on the pillows. "Kelly told me what's been going on with you."

"Kelly what?" Tammy said, her jaw dropped.

"She's worried about you," Ana said simply. "I can't say I blame her." Tammy swallowed.

"I'm really OK," Tammy said. "I was bad for a while, but I'm fine now." Ana raised her eyebrows. "Mom, really, I am."

"You're sleeping with a married man," she said.

"He's separated!" Tammy said.

"Do you think that matters?" Ana asked. "Tammy, after everything we went through as a family, how could you possibly rationalize it?"

"It's a completely different situation," Tammy shook her head and stood up. "Janet and Dave don't have kids, they've always cheated on each other, they're not living together anymore!"

"I need to tell you something I never wanted to tell you and Tommy," she said softly. Tammy nodded. "When you were a baby, before I found out I was pregnant with Tommy your father moved out."

"What?" Tammy said. Ana nodded. "But why?"

"Because," Ana said softly, "Pauline wasn't the first sweetheart, or the second, she was just the last." Tammy sat up. "Anyway, I told him to leave, that I wouldn't put up with it, and he did and then I found out I was pregnant and he came back."

"But you didn't have to take him back," Tammy insisted.

"Tammy, we were younger than you are," Ana laughed. "We didn't know what else to do. So we tried. Over and over again we tried, until we just couldn't do it anymore."

"They're at the can't do it anymore point," Tammy said. "I know they are, Dave loves me!"

"Honey, you don't know if they're at that point," Ana shook her head. "You can't know it. Has anything legal been done?" Tammy swallowed. "So he's still married."

"Well, technically yes," she sighed. "But really, he's been living on his boat for a month."

"So, he's serious about leaving her, but he hasn't taken any legal action or found a place to live," Ana said.

"No, I'm not explaining it right," Tammy said. "He can't get his own place, he can't afford,"

"Tammy," Ana shook her head. "Even if he can't afford it personally you're telling me Scooter and Logan wouldn't help him out if he needed it?" Tammy sighed. "Unless you're planning on helping him."

"If he asked me," Tammy said. "It's not like I can't afford it."

"Convenient," Ana said. "That he found another woman who can support him." Tammy frowned. "And even if you two did," Ana sighed, "I mean, if he means it, about his marriage to Janet being over. Could you ever trust him? Do you know if he would want to get married again?"

"I don't need to get married," Tammy shook her head.

"What about children?" Ana said. "Even if you don't get married, I know you want children. Does he? He and Janet were married for five years, I'd imagine they'd at least talked about it."

"Stop!" Tammy said. "I've done this. I've thought about it over and over again. And every time I come to the same conclusion. I love him, I want to be with him. That's it. I feel terrible about putting Janet through what you went through when Dad left you for Pauline. But it's not the same situation, by any stretch." She stopped. "Why did you invite Steve last night?"

"Tamara," Ana said. "That wasn't about you." Tammy rolled her eyes. "It wasn't, the world doesn't revolve around you. I just thought he could use a night around people who care about him. I can't imagine this has been easy for him. Losing Cal and Elyse, and then losing you. And Julie being up in Maine with those kids, and dealing with her own grief." Tammy nodded. "So I invited him to the party." Tammy nodded. "I really was surprised when you two broke up. I mean, at your show, he said," she shook her head. "Maybe Tom and I were just hearing what we wanted to, but it seemed like." Then it hit Tammy and she looked at the ring box.

"Oh my God!" She said. "I'm such an ass." She grabbed the box and ran outside and downstairs. She grabbed the keys to Jimmy's old Mustang and drove fast. She hadn't even gotten dressed. Steve had given her his hotel room number. Thank God she remembered it. She knocked on the door.

"Tammy?" He said opening it.

"That night," she said softly. He nodded. "The night Cal and Elyse died. The night of my show." He nodded again. "Were you going to propose to me? Is that why you got the room at the palace and the champagne and everything?"

"Tammy, this really isn't a good time for this conversation," he said softly.

"Were you?" She said. "Were you going to ask me to marry you?" He looked down.

"Yeah," he said. "I was."

"Can I come in and can we talk about this?" She whispered.

"Tammy, like I said this isn't a great time," he said.

"Steve?" The reporter said, walking in behind him. "Are you coming back to bed?" Tammy looked down. "Hi, I'm Corinne."

"Tammy," she said softly. "I just wanted to say hi," she kissed him on the cheek. "Call me when you get back to New York?"

"Sure," Steve nodded. "I will." She nodded and walked away. She walked down to the elevators and got in.

"Hold it!" She heard a voice and then held it. She froze. "Oh," Nick Parsons looked at her. "Um, I'll take the next one."

"Don't worry about it," she shook her head and crossed her arms. He nodded and got on. They stood in awkward silence.

"How's the empire?" He asked.

"Fine," she said. "Try to rape any teenage girls lately?" He rolled his eyes.

"I didn't rape anybody," he mumbled.

"I said try," she said. "You definitely tried." He nodded.

"What are you doing here?" He said. "Isn't your trash mom still married to Tom Riley?"

"Watch it," she growled. "I came to see somebody." The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Angela got on and bit the inside of her cheek. "Hi Angie."

"Hey Tammy," she said. Nick smirked at her. "Did you not stay at the house?"

"No, I did," she said. "I had to talk to Steve about something."

"Oh," Angela said.

"Angela," Nick said softly. She turned and looked at him. "I was hoping to run into you."

"Really?" She said softly. "I was hoping to never see you again." She crossed her arms. He started to talk. "Don't talk to me." Tammy snorted.

"Quiet," he said.

Julie woke up in the middle of the night hearing screaming and barking. Her immediate reaction was to grip Stephanie, who was curled up in a ball next to her (Stephanie was now able to sleep the whole night in her own bed but she had said she wanted to sleep with Julie since Jimmy was away and she didn't want Julie to be lonely.) She shook her head and ran to Mikey's room, where Ponyboy was barking at the door.

"Pony, shush!" She said sternly and the dog immediately whimpered and lay down covering his nose. She smiled. She'd helped train him, so he listened to her. She walked in. "Mikey!" She said, shaking him awake, he was thrashing in a cold sweat. "Mikey!" She said. He blinked his eyes open. "Oh God, kiddo, you scared me!" She hugged him close. He kept crying.

"I want Mom," he finally managed to say between sobs.

"I know," she whispered, "I know, I want her too." She shushed him gently and kissed his hair. "You're so brave little man. But it's OK, you don't always have to be." He kept crying. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I saw them," he said. "And the car and there was blood everywhere, and Mom was hurting and," he choked and starting sobbing again.

"Oh honey," she hugged him. "It's OK, it was just a dream." He nodded. "It's OK, I'm here. Do you want to come sleep with me and Stephie?"

"No," he sniffed and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "Can Ponyboy sleep with me?"

"Of course he can," Julie said. "Jimmy doesn't like it when he climbs on furniture, big snob, but check out what I taught him last time Jimmy was studying all night. Ponyboy," she called the dog. He ran in, wagging his tail. "Up!" She snapped, he climbed up on the bed. Mikey laughed. "Are you going to be OK?"

"Yeah," Mikey nodded. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"It's OK," she whispered. "It's what I'm here for." Mikey nodded. "Love you."

"Love you too," he said. She kissed him.

"See you in the morning." She stood up and walked out. Ponyboy curled up at Mikey's feet while the boy carefully fell back asleep.

Elena woke up and looked around, she recognized the shape of the room she was in kind of. She certainly recognized the way the light was hitting her eyes. She felt what was definitely a man's arm draped over her stomach.

"Brad, baby," she sighed, grabbing it.

"Huh?" The owner of the arm rolled over. It wasn't Brad. It was Tommy. "Lena?"

"Hi," she said. "Where's Brad?"

"Mm," Brad grunted from her other side. "Where are we?" He mumbled.

"God, what was I thinking agreeing to marry you?" Diane croaked from the bed. It was then that Elena realized she was piled with the guys on the floor. Tommy immediately stood up and kissed her gently. Elena rubbed her eyes and looked at Diane. She's gotten super thing, and her head was shaved. She got a shiver, like something cold had passed right through her.

"How are you feeling baby?" He whispered.

"I feel fine," Diane said. Elena shivered again, the dry sound of Diane's voice.

"Are you OK?" Brad whispered. He kissed her softly.

"Yeah," Elena said. "I'll be right back." She wandered into Jimmy's room. He was already up and packing. "Leaving?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Julie, and the kids." She nodded. "What's wrong?"

"Just um," she sighed. "Have you seen Diane?" He closed his eyes.

"Yeah," he sat down. "You're thinking about her?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"I talked to Diane's doctor, yesterday afternoon," he said.

"And?" Elena said. He smiled.

"She's going to be fine," he said. "I mean, eventually, it's going to take a year or two, but they got the it would kill her stuff." Elena exhaled. "Of course you never know with Cancer." He mumbled. She sat down next to him and kissed him softly.

"She's so proud of you," she said. He smiled. "Really, I mean, I am."

"Yeah, I know Elle," he whispered. "I'm proud of you too." She smiled. "Did the four of you sleep in Tommy's bed."

"No," Elena laughed. "Me and the guys passed out on the floor. Diane had the bed to herself." He laughed. "I have to tell you something."

"OK," he nodded and stood up. "Am I not really giving you away at your wedding? Was that a drunken promise?"

"No," she said. "No, of course you're actually giving me away."

"Are you not really in love with Brad, you're just scared to break off the engagement?" He said. She stared at him. "I mean Elle, come on, I like the guy but,"

"I'm in love with Brad, God!" She stood up. "I was going to ask you about a puppy for Eddie."

"A puppy?" He said. She nodded. "You want to buy Eddie a puppy?"

"Yeah," she said. "Do you think a lab would get too big too fast? I mean, I want him to like the dog, and Ponyboy is so smart and well behaved."

"Yeah, cause I trained him," he nodded.

"Ooh, can you train a puppy for Eddie?" She said. "I thought maybe a golden retriever, and a girl, and I'll name it Aunt Ellie, it'll be blonde, do you get it?"

"You want me to train a blonde puppy for your nephew, who you're going to name after yourself?" He said slowly. "Think about how crazy that is for a minute."

"Fine, we won't name the puppy Aunt Ellie," she said. He laughed. "I just want him to have something to remind him of me when I'm not there."

"He's sixteen months old," Jimmy said. "Buy him a puppy when he's four."

"Not now?" She said.

"I've been doing the Uncle thing for almost ten years now," he said. "Live presents for babies not so good."

"Right," she nodded. "OK."

"Lena," Tommy said. "Diane's feeling up to breakfast, are you coming?"

"Yeah," she said. She hugged Jimmy. "Love you James."

"Love you too," he said. She bounced out. He smiled. He liked regressing for the weekend with Ellie, he always had.

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