Far Away - Chapter Thirteen

"Pull yourself together." Chris splashed water on his face, trying to wipe away the tearstains and swollen cheeks and red eyes. "You can handle this."

The Chris in the mirror didn't look convinced. Actually, he just looked like crap. Bandages and tear stains and a face that just couldn't smile.

"Chris?" Sam's hesitant call through the door made him try to set his face. It was a struggle just to keep the corners of his mouth from crumpling into a sob. Yet somehow, he walked out of the bathroom with his back straight and looked right at Sam and Cathy as he drew in a breath, then spoke with the calm of being in the eye of an emotional storm.

"I'm quitting the MBC."

Neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved. They both just stared blankly at Chris as he limped past them to the door. He looked to the boy sleeping in the other bed, unaware of the torment he caused, before steeling himself against the urge to crumple and cry again. He left the room, calmly went to the disguised nurse's station and politely requested another room. Somehow he also asked for privacy from the other MBC members and anyone else except his parents, but he wouldn't ever recall how he worded it. The room change was swift and practically silent, or at least Chris didn't hear anything. He tried not to feel anything.

He sat on his new hospital bed, staring out the window at nothing, when he finally heard Sam and Cathy kicking up a fuss in the hall. Whatever he had said to the nurse worked because they never came in. Chris still covered his ears with his pillow, trying to block their voices calling out for him. He wished he could as easily block his feelings.

He wouldn't let himself cry again.

And he kept that promise to himself, after his parents took him home and his mother kept him on bed rest for two weeks. At least, while he was awake. He woke up most days with his eyes feeling scratchy. But he stayed in his room or on the couch, trying to occupy his thoughts with anything he could. He knew the MBC members tried to sly their way up to him by bringing him school work, but a suggestion from Chris had John visiting his school to get the new assignments.

"Chris," John called as he opened the bedroom door. Chris turned from his desk strewn with computer parts. "Your teacher wanted to know how you were doing."

"Fine," Chris replied neutrally as he took the stack of papers and slid them on top of his textbooks. "Thank you."

John lingered by his desk chair, and fidgeted a bit until Chris glanced at him. "What?"

"Sam told me-"

"John," Chris warned.

"to tell you-"

"John…"

"that Danny's-"

"John!" Chris smacked the video card he had been holding on the desk, breaking it. "I don't want to hear it!"

John's face furrowed angrily. "Don't you care anymore?" he burst out. "Don't you care at all about your friends? Or your mission? You swore-"

"Of course I care!" Chris snapped. "But I can't, okay? I can't deal with any of that anymore!"

"But Chris, it's the MBC!" John looked completely shocked and devastated, like someone had told him Santa wasn't real and kicked the Easter Bunny for good measure.

Chris wanted to scream or throw something, let the hurt give away to anger and just vent it, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything except let it drizzle away back into the pit that he had sunk into. "I know. I just… can't." He shut his eyes and braced his head against his hands on the desk, trying to will away everything like he had been doing since he had first admitted to himself he wanted Danny to be his.

But this was so much harder, because it wasn't a denial of a what-if. This was a rejection, a past 'never' that wouldn't ever be. It hurt with a finality Chris hadn't encountered yet in his life.

"Chris, they're your friends," John said carefully. "They're worried about you. And I know you're worried about them, too."

Chris drew in a shaky breath. "Please… my head hurts. I need to be alone."

His little brother was silent for a moment, before solemnly nodding and moving to the door. "There is something I was told I have to tell you, and you would know what it meant." There was a pause as Chris didn't respond. "Cathy said the ship won't leave."

The door shut before Chris' brain finished processing. He stiffened. Why wouldn't the Zerellian ship leave? Why would it hang around for so long? What were they waiting for, a sending off party? A treaty of peace validated by the MBC?

Chris' mind raced as he tried to logically break down the possibilities, and for a moment everything else cleared from his head with a startlingly clarity Chris had been trying to achieve since his self-imposed exile from the MBC.

So he didn't notice the abrupt knocking on his door until it got annoyingly loud and Chris broke his stream of thoughts unwillingly. He frowned as he got to his feet – leg healed and fully supporting him – and went to open the door and yell at John.

He didn't expect the fist in his face.

Chris clutched his cheek, shocked and on his butt as he stared up at a very pissed-looking Danny.

"You ass!" Danny yelled, green eyes narrowed, face flustered, and brown hair a mess – but Chris thought he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. "You quit the MBC?!"

To Be Continued...

Author's Note: School sucks.

Thanks for sticking with us anyways.