Chapter 7
Rachel walked into Santana's house at 5 and noticed the lights were out and the house was quiet. She walked up the stairs and to Santana's door which was closed and there was no light on in the bedroom, but she could hear the TV on. She pushed the door open and saw Santana sitting on her bed with popcorn staring intently at the TV.
"What are you watching?" Rachel asked making Santana jump slightly.
"Oh god Rach, you scared me. I'm watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre." Santana paused the movie and turned on her bedside lamp.
"I'm sorry." Rachel apologized. She noticed that Mario was asleep on her regular side of the bed with two pillows on his side to insure that he didn't roll off the bed.
"It's okay, did you bring my laptop?"
"Yes, it's in my car. I forgot to bring it down." Rachel told her. She really needed to talk to Santana about this afternoon, but she didn't know how to bring it up.
"Okay, are you going to stand there or are you going to come here so I can welcome you back home?" Santana smirked. Rachel smiled and kicked off her shoes and placed her purse on the dressed before walking over to Santana. She leaned in and kissed Santana on her lips while climbing onto the huge bed.
"I missed you." Rachel giggled against her girlfriend's lips.
"I missed you more." Santana replied. Rachel pecked her lips once more before turning to sit against Santana's front. Santana wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and pulled her back into her. Santana rested her chin on Rachel's shoulder and sighed.
"I'm sorry I took so long. When I was about to leave my dads house my daddy's friends came over and they wanted to catch up with me. I know you were expecting me like two hours ago."
"It's okay. I tried to call, but your phone went straight to voicemail." Santana explained.
"It's dead." Rachel sighed pulling her phone out of her pocket and throwing it on the bed. She was starting to feel really guilty now. The story she had told about her daddy's friend coming over was true, but she was only there for an hour. She really needed to tell Santana about Finn.
Santana placed a couple kisses on Rachel's shoulder and neck before sighing. "Okay tell me what's wrong. You're super quiet." Rachel stayed quiet and Santana carefully turned her around so she was laying on the bed and Santana was hovering over her with both hands on each side of Rachel's head.
"Talk to me baby." Santana whispered. It was hard for Rachel not to lean up and kiss Santana.
"I have to tell you something." Rachel whispered. Santana leaned down closer to Rachel's lips so they were not even an inch apart.
"Tell me."
"You're going to be mad." Rachel replied.
"Why would I be mad?" Rachel cupped Santana's cheeks and pecked her lips a couple times. She then pulled away and sighed.
"I didn't just go home to get some things. I went somewhere else." Rachel sighed again.
"Where did you go?" Santana asked.
"I…Finn called earlier and asked me if I would meet him at Lima Bean." Rachel started.
"And you went?" Santana asked climbing off of the bed and giving Rachel a look that showed she was angry and hurt.
"Well, he said he needed to talk to me. I wanted to know what he wanted." Rachel tried to defend.
"So why didn't you just tell me?"
"Because I knew you would be angry like you are right now."
"The only reason I'm upset is because you lied to me. I was here taking care of our son and you're running around with your exboyfriend?" Santana accused.
"I'm sorry." Rachel whispered with tears in her eyes.
"Well, what did he want?"
"He said he wanted me back." Rachel let a tear fall.
"And what did you say?" Santana asked with hurt evident in her voice.
"I said that I love you. But I…I just…I…" Rachel stuttered unable to get her words out.
"But what Rachel? Spit it out!" Santana yelled. She was careful not to be too loud so she didn't wake Mario.
"I don't know Santana. I just don't. I mean, I know I love you, but I don't know if my feelings for him are gone either. I just don't know." Rachel cried. She had never been so confused before.
"So all the talk about marrying me and having more kids with me and moving to New York with me were all lies? You still love Finnocence? We have a baby together and you tell me that you want him?" Santana cried. The tears that were running down her face couldn't be stopped now. She had never been so heartbroken before.
"No, all the things I said about having a life with you was true. I still want that. I just need some time to find myself. Please understand."
"So you're…you're breaking up with me?" Santana cried. How had this day gone from okay to horribly bad in less than twenty minutes.
"No, I'm just asking for a little time away from each other for right now. Just until I can get myself together." Rachel cried getting off the bed as well. She stood in front of Santana wanting nothing more than to be taken into her arms.
"What about Mario?" Santana whispered.
"I think I'll sleep in the guest room and you can keep him in here. Just know that this is not a break up." Rachel explained.
"Rachel, baby, I love you." Santana whispered. "Isn't that enough? I love you so much. Please don't do this." The tears were coming faster now.
"I love you too. I love you more than anything." Rachel stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Santana burying her face in the Latina's chest.
"No, you don't. If you did then you wouldn't be doing this. You would let me hold you and kiss you and love you, but you don't know if you want me or that oaf."
"Santana, I love you, but it wouldn't be fair to be with you while I don't know what I want. And yes I've loved you since freshman year, but Finn was my first real love. And I'm not saying that I want to be with him, but I need to figure out how I feel. Please understand."
"I'll try." Santana cried.
"I'm going to sleep in the guest room, and tomorrow I will talk to Finn."
"Are you going to stay here for the rest of the week?" Santana asked.
"Well, I don't want to take Mario away from you, so I think so. I think I may just stay here until I figure this out."
"That's okay with me. I just want to see your face and hear your voice. I love you so much." Santana cried. She could not believe this was happening.
"I love you too. But to make this a little easier for you I'm going to sleep at Mercedes tonight. I need a little girl time with her and Kurt." Rachel explained.
"Yeah, I think I'm going to call Quinn and Brittany." Rachel felt a little jealous of the fact that Santana was going to spend the night with her exgirlfriend, but she really didn't get a say because she was the reason they were so heartbroken.
"Okay, do you want me to take Mario?" Rachel asked.
"If you want him. I think he should be with his mommy." Santana cried.
"Okay, can you get his diaper bag ready? I have to go get some clothes ready." Rachel's tears were still falling as well as Santana's. Santana nodded and pulled away from Rachel to go get Mario's diaper bag ready.
After about ten minutes Rachel had her overnight bag ready and Santana had Mario in his carseat and his diaper bag set.
"I called Mercedes and she said that I was more than welcome to come over. Kurt is on his way there too."
"You don't have to explain anything to me. I'm giving you the space that you need. Just please be careful." Santana said with puffy eyes and a runny nose. She then turned the Mario and started whispering something in Spanish to him. Rachel watched on and let some tears fall. When Santana was done talking she kissed his forehead and lightly laid her head on his while crying some more. This was the first time she was going to spend the night away from him and she wasn't happy about it.
"Te amo mucho, mijo." Santana cried and kissed his forehead again. She then walked over to Rachel with his diaper bag and handed it to her. They both heard the front door swing open and then slam shut and loud footsteps were heard going up the stairs.
"I guess that's Quinn and Brittany. They were out of the house before I could even get a sentence out." Santana chuckled sadly and Rachel smiled lightly.
"I want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and I love you. More than words. I really appreciate that you are willing to give me time to think this through." Rachel whispered. Santana nodded and leaned down for one last passionate kiss. Rachel eagerly returned it. They tried to memorize each other's mouths and the way they tasted. This only made them cry harder.
They pulled away just as Quinn and Brittany ran in.
"You have a lot of nerve to still be here Berry." Quinn glared as Brittany took Santana into her arms letting her cry into her chest. Santana's body shook with sobs.
"I was just leaving Quinn." Rachel cried.
"Yeah, whatever." Quinn rolled her eyes. Santana pulled away from Brittany and grabbed Mario's carseat and diaper bag to take it to Rachel's car. She walked downstairs and to Rachel's car and was about to open the door when Kurt pulled up in his car. He quickly got out the car and to Santana to pull her into a hug.
"I heard about what happened and I came to pick Rachel up considering she is in no condition to drive. I also came to check on you. I never thought in a million years that you two would be breaking up on account of Rachel. I'm so sorry Santana. And you can be sure that Mercedes and I are going to talk her out of this insane mess with Finn." Kurt comforted.
"It's alright. I just want her to be happy. She should be with who she wants." Santana cried. Kurt took the baby carrier out of Santana's hand and placed it in his car and buckled it in.
"You are who she wants to be with. I know this for a fact. She's doubting herself, because she loves you so much that it scares her. I promise she will be back in your arms by the end of the week." Kurt said giving her a peck on the cheek. Santana was about to say something but Rachel walked out of the house along with Quinn and Brittany. She walked over to Kurt and gave him a hug before pulling away and walking towards Santana. Brittany and Kurt looked away to give them privacy, but Quinn kept her glare on the back of Rachel's head.
"Santana…" Rachel started.
"Please, just go. You're making this really hard for me." Santana said, tears threatening to fall.
"I'm sorry." Rachel stepped forward and pulled Santana into a tight hug for a second before pulling away and getting into the car. Kurt walked to his car and climbed in as well and without another word they pulled off. Brittany and Quinn walked Santana into the house.
Once they were inside Brittany pulled Santana into her again and Santana finally broke down. Sobs shook her body so violently that she couldn't stand. They both fall to the floor and Brittany pulled Santana against her tighter. Quinn went to make Santana some tea and get some movies together. It was going to be a long night with no sleep.
~XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO~
Mercedes and Kurt guided Rachel into Mercedes' bedroom. Kurt was holding a fussy Mario in his arms trying his best to get him to stop whining.
"Rachel, he won't stop." Kurt told her. Rachel looked up from the ground with tears in her eyes.
"Okay, give him here." Rachel opened her arms Mario and Kurt placed him in her arms. Rachel rocked him in her arms and checked his diaper. Seeing that he was dry and not sleepy he must be hungry. She walked over to the diaper bag and pulled out one of the many bottles Santana packed.
"So do you want to talk?" Kurt asked from his spot next to Mercedes who was texting rapidly on her phone. Probably telling Sam about what was happening.
"He looks just like her." Rachel whispered looking down at her son while feeding him and rocking back and forth.
"Yeah, he does." Mercedes said with a sympathetic look.
"Okay, let's talk." Kurt said after a minute of awkward silence.
"Fine." Rachel huffed and plopped into the arm chair that Mercedes had in the corner of the room.
"So tell us what happened." Mercedes said finally putting her phone on her nightstand.
Rachel spent the next ten minutes telling them the entire story in detail while she finished feeding and burping Mario. After he was done Rachel held him out for Mercedes to take.
"So I have to ask, why did you lie to her about Finn? You should've told her where you were going." Kurt told her.
"He's right. If it were me I would have told him to meet me at my house so Santana could be there watching for any funny business." Mercedes added not looking up from playing with Mario.
"I know, but do you think I'm doing the right thing? I mean, yes I love Santana. I love her and I see myself moving to New York with her and possibly marrying her, but then I think about Finn and I think about what we had. Then I start to second guess myself."
"You want to know what I think?" Kurt asked. Rachel nodded desperately.
"I think you are thinking too much into it. You love Santana, and we all know it. I've never seen you so happy and every time someone says her name or you see her face your face lights up. You think you love Finn because he was your first love. He was you first kiss, but Santana was your first time and you had your first child with her. You two basically love together, and when you're separated all you do is text each other. You may love him, but you're in love with Santana. You have been in love with Santana since the first time you saw her in Freshman year. Don't throw this away, Rachel." Kurt lectured.
"I agree one hundred percent." Mercedes added.
"I think you're right, but for right now I have to find myself and stay true to what I think. So tomorrow in Glee I'm going to sing about my feelings to Santana. I think you should all prepare for a tearfest, because all I can seem to do is cry." Rachel stated before more tears fell.
"Aw Rachie, why don't you go take a shower and we will put Mario to bed. Then we can have a girls night." Kurt cooed. Rachel nodded and walked into Mercedes' bathroom. Mercedes and Kurt shared a knowing look before tending to Mario. Tomorrow was going to be emotionally draining.
~XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO X~
I'm so sorry. I know you're all going to hate me for this, but it had to happen. This story is all planned out and this is so important. I don't dislike Finn, but I hate finchel. ENJOY!
Please tell me you all saw Pretty Little Liars tonight! It was insane! Message me if you saw it!
Love you all,
LeeLeeRm