Since this was first published, I've learned that dry anal penetration is not a thing that should happen and it's something I cannot stand to read. So I apologize in advance for the atrocity that you are about to read; I didn't know any better at the time.

Notes: slash, sexual content, dry penetration.

Kain leaned against the ebony hued wall heavily, his arms crossed over his chest and his mind clouded in thought. The sun had set in the sky hours ago, the two moons lighting up the heavens in its stead. The reason for him being awake at such a late hour was that he was entirely too restless to even contemplate sleep.

The castle was unnaturally quiet at this time of night, perfect for someone who wanted to think without interruption. It was likely that he was the only one still up and about, which was exactly the way he wanted it.

He resembled a hard stone statue, propped up and stationary other than the slight motions of his upper body when he breathed slowly. He had become quite the insomniac in the previous two weeks, rarely getting any sleep at all because his mind wouldn't settle down enough for him to be comfortable. Kain's usually graceful movements weren't as coordinated anymore and his blue eyes were losing their shine—though no one could see because his helmet prevented such close inspection.

A small sound behind him alerted his senses and he turned to face his guest.

"Rosa."

"I thought I'd find you here, Kain."

The blonde white mage stepped forward, her elegant cape fluttering behind her in sinuous waves of fine silk.

"What are doing awake at this hour?" Kain asked.

"I could ask the same of you."

"I had trouble sleeping. And you?"

Rosa didn't answer right away, his eyes downcast with a look of worry on her face.

"…Kain," she started a minute later, "do you know where Cecil is? I've hardly seen him at all this past week."

The same circumstance pertained to Kain as well. The paladin had been fairly distant as of late and it was somewhat unnerving to him.

Kain shook his head and replied, "I can't really be sure where exactly."

"You don't think that something is wrong with him…do you?" Rosa asked curiously.

"Hard to say."

"…Do you think that you could…check on him for me please?"

Kain was interested as to why Rosa wanted him to do something she could do herself, but he couldn't turn down an offer to see Cecil and hopefully bring himself at ease with what had been bothering him.

"Of course. I'll go look for him."

"Thank you, Kain," Rosa said, walking back in the direction she came from.

Kain sighed lightly after she disappeared from his line of sight. If only Rosa knew what she was pushing on him—making him confront the very person that had been on his thoughts for her own purposes. Removing himself from the wall, he proceeded towards the West Tower, one of the places where he would most likely find Cecil.

Kain took the opportunity of his silent trek to think over what had happened over the past month. Zemus had been destroyed and everyone involved in the struggle had basically returned to their lives as best as they could.

Cecil had been rather unoccupied since his return to Baron; the same applied to all of the palace's armed forces. He couldn't resume his command of the Red Wings since he was no longer a dark knight—though that aspect probably didn't matter to the paladin anymore—and a new King of Baron had yet to be chosen so there was no one to direct its military. But the whispers that were passed in the castle's many halls suggested that Cecil could very well take control of Baron since he was the original King's adopted son.

Kain was extremely supportive of Cecil turning out to be the next King though he was particularly reserved about the topic when asked by a fellow dweller of the castle. If anything, he would adore Cecil even more if he indeed decided to be the militaristic kingdom's next ruler, would gladly carry out any deed that would be commanded of him.

The dragoon had hidden his more than friendly feelings towards Cecil from everyone he knew, keeping the strong emotion locked up in his heart for years on end. Kain couldn't count how many times he craved to just go up to the paladin and confess what he truly was to him or vice versa. His burden had been quite terrible to tolerate, day in and day out, growing utterly unpleasant with each passing hour.

But being what they were, being male, they would not be looked upon kindly by their peers if they became romantically involved. Such an affair would be scorned and mocked immediately and their hard-earned reputations would be virtually nonexistent. And Kain just couldn't bring himself to do that to Cecil, not after everything his dear friend had been through, part of the fault for most of it being on him while Golbez had power over his actions. Even to this very day, Kain was ashamed of himself for being manipulated so easily.

If Cecil were to take the throne, he would either have to wed a female to reign as Queen or rule an entire kingdom with no one by his side.

The thought of both outcomes made Kain's heart clench up unpleasantly. He couldn't allow someone else—other than himself—to be with Cecil, but he didn't want his childhood companion to be alone either. It was a complicated sort affection he had to deal with everyday, one he didn't very well understand. Even if Cecil did happen to accept Kain's more intimate attachment, they would have to be sworn to secrecy. The lack of freedom in that aspect would suffocate them both.

But Kain simply couldn't handle concealing his true feelings anymore. So deep was his love that he would risk his very being in order to just get his pent-up sentiment off his chest.

Stepping out of the doorway on the west side of the castle, Kain came in contact with the outside, the wind blowing pleasantly over his form and running through his hair. He looked up towards the sky, scanning the top of West Tower for Cecil. For a few moments, Kain saw absolutely no sign of the paladin until he spotted a glimmer of sparkling white resting on the edge of one of the stone bricks.

Walking until he reached the doorway of the West Tower, Kain stopped and bended his knees before jumping up with great force, effortlessly landing at the top. Cecil seemed to not notice his arrival, but Kain silently waited for Cecil to verbally recognize him. He couldn't help but stare at his quiet infatuation, his gaze fixated on the handsome face of his unrequited love.

"Is there something you want, Kain?" Cecil asked after a few minutes had passed.

"Rosa asked me to find you."

"Oh. I see."

"She has been asking me where you wander off to on a daily basis. She's very concerned about you."

Kain often wondered what it was that made Cecil come up here day after day, but he wouldn't dare ask. He had been content enough to merely watch his friend stare off into the sky from afar.

"She has nothing to worry about. I'm feeling perfectly fine," Cecil replied softly.

The lie in Cecil's voice was so evident; Kain could practically feel the false statement floating in the atmosphere around them.

There was something bothering his comrade, he could see it in the paladin's clear eyes. He had rarely seen his best friend look so distressed and Kain wanted so much to embrace his companion, to offer a kind of comfort that only he could provide. If it had been any other time—day or night—he would've staved off the urge and kept to his own devices. On this particular night, however, he decided that now was the opportune time to thrown caution to the wind.

Advancing slowly at first, Kain summoned up his courage and held Cecil from behind, his arms overlapping the man's broad chest. He seemed to not mind the contact. In fact, it almost felt like he was leaning into the hold Kain had on him.

"You can't lie to me, Cecil…"

"Kain…I'm not sure if I want to become King."

"Why not?"

The dragoon's lips were only a breath away from the nape of Cecil's neck. Kain considered backing away slightly, but the luxury of being pressed against the white knight's body made him resist movement. Cecil was unnaturally silent, his gaze fixated on the ground below him.

"What is troubling you, my friend?" Kain whispered.

"…I suppose I can't keep this to myself no longer…can I?"

Kain's eyebrows furrowed together in confused, but his eyes widened when Cecil suddenly turned, cupping Kain's chin with his right hand. His skin burned under the paladin's soft touch.

He saw the fear and hesitation burning in Cecil's eyes and he couldn't help but gaze at the luminous color of his friend's orbs. The combined sensation of Cecil's hand against a part of his face and his beautiful eyes seeming to look straight through the metal hiding Kain's own eyes was enough to make him start trembling.

"I don't want to become King…because then I couldn't have you…"

Kain's shaking increased as well as his breathing and he felt the self-control slowly slipping from his body. Cecil inched closer to his friend, his hand slipping down to the column of Kain's neck.

"I want you to stand by my side…Kain," Cecil whispered, his breath caressing over Kain's parted lips.

A sharp intake of air was all Kain could manage before Cecil claimed his lips tenderly, his fingers threading through Kain's blonde hair. Kain was shocked by Cecil's sudden advance and he wanted to wrap his arms around his companion, to hold him in a tight embrace, but his limbs were locked up tight. His eyes fluttered closed and he responded to the kiss, relishing in the sigh that Cecil produced.

Cecil unhurriedly removed Kain's helmet after he broke the kiss, glimpsing at Kain's features for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. Blue eyes caught Cecil's own azure hues as the white knight's hand settled on his cheek, his thumb running just under Kain's right eye. The subtle purple underneath Kain's eyes put a worried look on the paladin's face until Kain smiled reassuringly at him.

Their lips met again, Kain holding Cecil's head in his hands as they kissed with vigor. Kain could swear that his insides were crying out with pure joy, the ache of holding his deep secret long forgotten. The muscles in his legs started quivering when he felt Cecil's tongue enter his mouth, lightly licking at his own wet appendage. A small moan resonated in Kain's throat when he joined in the activity Cecil had started.

Everything seemed to go so slowly, but Kain had waited too long for Cecil for this sort of leisurely show of affection.

The wobbling in his legs hadn't stopped, however, and he soon found himself falling over with Cecil landing on top of him. Nevertheless, Cecil didn't cease his actions, wrapping his arms around Kain's waist as he continued to plunder Kain's mouth. They soon separated, panting softly for air to return to their lungs.

"I love you," Cecil said, tightening his hold on the dragoon.

"Do you truly mean that?" Kain breathed out.

"Yes, I do."

"You have my love as well, Cecil."

Cecil smiled at him, brushing his knuckles over his cheek. Their eyes locked and so many emotions splayed themselves out for the other to see. The profound love they shared for each other, the pain of burying it deep down with themselves, the bliss of finally having closure. Everything was brought out into view and Kain felt as though he could cry from the bursting delight that was inside him.

But with that happiness came a grief he couldn't deny. As much as he needed Cecil to stay with him, they couldn't be together—whether Cecil became King of Baron or not. There were too many obstacles to overcome in their path.

That thought in mind, Kain decided that tonight would be their night to demonstrate their love for each other in a more physical manner. He knew that he wanted Cecil's touch with every fiber of his being, but he was unsure about his beloved's reaction to such a bold, not to mention reckless move. Even so, he felt that taking a chance now would do him no harm, other than accepting the refusal of his advance.

"I don't want to wait for you anymore," Kain determinedly said.

Cecil took on a confused expression, the look becoming even more perplexed as Kain pushed him off and stood up, proceeding to hastily disrobe himself of his armor. The paladin's eyes widened as inch after inch Kain's skin was exposed to him, the moonlight illuminating the pale flesh.

"I want you to make love to me…if only once…"

His heart was pounding violently in chest cavity, threatening to rupture from its prison while he stood nude in front of Cecil. Never before had he even attempted such an act, the mere mention of it making him feel slightly anxious, even though he was more than willing to give himself over to the only person he had ever loved. He reached behind his head hesitantly at first, but finally became steady enough to remove his hair tie, loosening his hair out with quick shakes of his head.

Cecil had been watching him all the while, appearing rather unsure until he saw the unwavering eyes of the dragoon locked onto his own. Kain gasped softly when Cecil abruptly got to his feet and started undoing his own armor as swiftly as Kain had done.

"Tell me something, Kain," Cecil began when he was halfway finished with detaching his body armor, "Are you sure you want to do this? You won't regret it when we wake in the morning, will you?"

"Not in the least," Kain stated with conviction.

The last piece of metal fell to the stone flooring with a clink, leaving Cecil completely bare as he stepped towards Kain. He pulled Kain close to his naked form, cupping his cheek and craning his head up for another kiss.

"If there is anytime that you wish to stop during this-"

"I've waited far too long for you, Cecil. I want you to have me."

Before Kain could close the gap between their lips, Cecil lowered them to the ground, his body fitting contentedly with that of the dragoon below him. The hard brick felt scratchy and uncomfortable on Kain's back, but he ignored the sensation in favor of brushing some of Cecil's white hair away from his eyes, tucking the strands behind the paladin's ear and slipping his hand down the back of Cecil's neck.

A smile touched Cecil's lips before he finally closed his eyes and connected their mouths in a sweet kiss, Kain gripping the man's shoulders as he did so. Kain felt a hand slide up from his waist to his chest, his muscles clenching up in heated response. Slim, strong fingers circled and caressed at his left nipple, making him whimper lightly. Cecil continued moving his hand over Kain's body, listening to various noises made depending on where he touched.

Cecil broke the kiss, lowering his head to his lover's neck and whispered, "Our time together will have to be a short one."

"I know. I'm prepared," Kain replied, parting his legs and wrapping his arms around his friend's neck.

It would be a painful joining of bodies, but Kain was willing to take all of the agony if it meant that he could be with Cecil in any sort of intimate fashion. He wanted Cecil to know of his perpetual devotion. Cecil raised himself up a little, his elbows supporting him as Kain positioned his body for better entrance.

Cecil had wanted to take it slow, but time was a crucial factor since the sun would soon rise upon them briefly. Wanting to make the pain last as fleeting as possible, he plunged himself deeply into Kain's waiting body, grimacing at hurt noise that resounded in his ears.

Kain's heartbeat had once again converted to an erratic rhythm, his breathing matching the set pattern. Cecil focused his attention on his comrade's neck, licking, biting, sucking, and basically irritating the susceptible flesh in order to distract Kain. The muscles in Kain's body twitched and quivered against each other when Cecil began to move slowly within him. Each push sent a shockwave through him and he couldn't even speak other than letting out moans of pleasure once the pain had subsided.

In that moment, Kain felt downright ecstatic, expressing his joy with breathless kisses as Cecil's pace sped up and became more intense. Cecil's hands caressed him all over, touching every reachable spot on Kain, as if he was trying to imprint his body into memory through every sense. The sounds Kain released next to the paladin's ear set his nerves ablaze, heightening the heat that he was suffocating from. He felt as though he was going to burn alive, his form twitching when a particularly hard shove made Kain cry out more loudly than before. Never before had the echo of someone's voice in his ears made him feel so complete and at peace.

Kain could feel Cecil gripping his hair tightly between his fingers, his inhalations just as irregular as the dragoon's. Kain clutched at Cecil's back, blunt fingernails digging into the skin when he reached the point of ecstasy with a loud moan, Cecil soon finding his own pleasurable purchase within Kain's body. Another kiss was exchanged between them and for a moment, it drowned out the multiple stings from the scrapes Kain had on his back from being repeatedly pushed into the stone flooring.

All was still as the sun peeked over the horizon, shining down on the pair holding each other tightly. Kain never wanted to free him from his embrace, not after the night had provided him with a memory more precious than any other.

"We should leave now," Cecil said against his neck, separating himself from Kain.

Dressing hurriedly, they managed to get down from the tower, Kain jumping effortless to the ground while Cecil, on the other hand, wasn't as experienced with such things and his form was slightly jarred from the landing. Kain had yet to don his helmet again and Cecil could see the concerned look on his companion's countenance.

"Do not fret for me. I'm fine," Cecil said.

Kain nodded, his eyebrows furrowing somewhat. The situation they were in now felt extremely awkward and Kain wasn't sure as to what he should do. Resigning to walking away silently, he was stopped before even completing a single step, Cecil spinning the dragoon around to face him fully.

He brushed his fingertips lightly over Kain's face and said, "I will never abandon you, Kain. Not ever."

Sealing the everlasting promise with a deep kiss, Cecil turned and departed for his bedchamber, leaving Kain to linger his gaze on where his figure had previously been.

If Cecil was truly willing to carry on with their new relationship then he was more than prepared to accomplish the same thing.

Edit 11/25/2013; Stupid ANs removed.