Chapter Six – That Secret That You Know

Valentine's Day was never an easy holiday for Spencer Reid.

Traditionally celebrated as a lover's holiday, there were very few instances where he possessed that necessary element to celebrate the holiday properly. The only consistent gifts he ever received were from his mother. Every year she would, in lieu of chocolates or 99 cent paper valentines, give him the leather-bound gift of Keats and Tennyson.

Early on he had taught himself to simply tolerate the festivities as an outsider, not as an active participant. And for a while, he was content in just avoiding the frivolous Hallmark holiday altogether. This year was different. He was an adult now, and more importantly, he had someone significant enough that he was considering participating in.

On the eve of that romantically-pious holiday, he found himself stalling outside Garcia's door. Desperate for advice, he was willing to overlook the fact that he would be revealing his prime secret for the first time in five weeks. Not to mention the fact that the odds were astronomical that once he revealed to Garcia he had e a girlfriend, that it would not stay a secret for long.

Still, desperate times called for desperate measures.

He raised his fist slowly, noting the subtle tremble in his hand, and knocked twice on her door. Behind the thick barrier, he could hear her feisty voice command, "Enter!"

Swallowing his nerves, he pushed through and entered her office. The small cubicle was illuminated with the lights from her computer screen. Penelope Garcia was furiously punching keys on her keyboard, and did not even break to catch his gaze.

"Garcia, do you have a minute?" He sincerely hoped his whisper would not show the tremors in his voice. That feeling of anxiety was like he had been caught and sent to the Principal's office.

"For you, sweet cheeks? Always." With flourish, she concluded her typing, and spun around. Her blonde curls bounced as she turned to face him. "What's up?"

Seeing her incandescent smile eased his nerves slightly. "I need your advice on something."

"The infalliable Dr. Reid needs my advice on something?" Whether it was completely or only partially sarcastic, he wasn't sure. In silence, she glanced at him analytically. He was wringing his hands nervously and his cheeks had a faint shade of pink to them that normally did not exist. The longer she stared him down, the less he actually looked back.

"By the way you're wringing your hands and avoiding eye contact, I'm guessing this has nothing to do with a case?" She smiled smugly, confident in her accuracy.

Times like this made Reid suspect she was secretly a profiler. "It's about…a girl." He inwardly flinched at the use of the word girl. She wasn't a girl, she was a grown woman.

Garcia raised one eyebrow, but said nothing. She simply allowed the young genius to work his way through what she assumed would become a classic Spencer Reid ramble.

The silence felt like an interrogation. He had sat through many intense cross-examinations before, but this was different. He was being grilled by an absurdly observant friend and coworker. Just give it up, he told himself. "It's about my girlfriend."

Garcia's jaw dropped to the floor—she couldn't believe what had just been declared. "Girlfriend?"

Slightly more relieved, he nodded and flashed a half-grin. Looking absolutely incredulous, she repeated that word with a little more

Folder in hand, she proceeded to gently slap his arm and scowl at him. "You have a girlfriend? And you've been holding out on me? No one keeps secrets from me, you should know this by now."

He smiled to himself, half proud that he had managed to keep something secret. "I'm sorry. I haven't told anyone."

"You know you can always talk to your goddess divine! Now, what relationship advice can I divvy for you? I assume that is what you need my advice on."

"It's Valentine's day tomorrow."

Her eyes bulged out in mock surprise. "Wow, cute and observant. You're quite a catch." Noting how this bitingly sarcastic comment affected him, she back tracked and took a more earnest approach.

"Give her flowers and buy her dinner. They call it classic for a reason."

"Oh, Austin hates flowers. Too many ex-boyfriends used flowers as restitution for misgivings." Not to mention the fact that she was several states away from him.

"So just take her out to a fancy dinner, and I promise she will be swooning."

"I can't." He admitted, "She lives in Georgia."

Garcia sucked in a deep breath. "Ooh, long distance. That's quite the conundrum."

"Precisely. I was hoping for something a little more...inspired. We've functioned this far on phone calls and online chatting, but I just want something atypical, especially given the context of romance's major holiday. Did you know that one billion cards get sent out on Valentine's day alone?"

She stopped paying attention after precisely. The gears in her mind started turning, and suddenly the answer became clear. It was simple yet perfect.

"So easy, even a genius can do it. Go and visit her." The way Garcia spoke the words, it made the suggestion seem so simple and obvious. Like he should have thought of it himself. "You have vacation days, don't you?"

He felt hesitant. "Yeah, but…"

"But what? You haven't seen each other in…"

"Five weeks." It felt odd to know exactly how many days it had been since he had seen her. But since there was no definite end to the streak, all he could do was count the time. "Are you sure it's not too... desperate?"

"Desperate? No. Gallant, yes." Her smile was confident, assertive that this idea was the right one. "Trust me, sweetcheeks. I would not lead you astray."

Surrendering control over a situation was never easy for Reid. Especially admitting he practically knew nothing in this situation. But to win Austin's heart, he would do whatever it took. Even if it meant wading into unfamiliar waters.

--

Standing outside of Hotch's office was slightly less nerve wracking as outside of Garcia's had been. Vacation time was all he wanted now, and it wouldn't really be all that difficult to get. He wouldn't have to give details, and if Hotch asked, there was always the old standby—his mother. It wasn't surprising to anyone for something to come up with his mother that would require his attention. No one would get suspicious, and no one would ask any questions.

He knocked on the door, and entered after a verbal command from his superior.

"Reid." Hotch's way of asking what was wrong. He briefly glanced up from his mountain of paperwork to look sternly at the agent. Stay calm, Reid reminded himself. There was nothing to be anxious about.

"Hotch, I was wondering if I could use a few of my vacation days." He interviews criminals regularly, and asking for time off to see his girlfriend made him uncomfortable? Something seemed off with the equation...

"Hm." Indifferent, not investigative. That was a positive sign. Hotch was never one to pry into his team's personal lives, and at the moment Reid was grateful for that fact. "Is it emergent?

"Not entirely. I just have some personal issues that I need to deal with."

Hotch froze temporarily. The last time Reid had "personal issues" was under far worse circumstances. The team's leader had noticed some secretive behavior ever since Phoenix, but said nothing. Had that been the wrong call? Was Reid having a relapse, or something more serious and life-threatening? His mind wandered to dark and scary places.

He cleared his throat, and tried to remain calm. "Well, we don't have any cases at the time. I think we can afford to be without you until Wednesday. We will do our best to give you your time, but if something comes up, I will call you."

Reid nodded—his job had to come first. "That's fine. Thank you."

He turned on his heels, and headed towards the safety of his desk, when he heard Hotch clear his throat once again. Didn't think you would get away that easily, did you?

"Reid." Hotch called out with a terse voice. Reid looked over his shoulder to find his normally phlegmatic boss looking particularly concerned. "Are you sure you're alright?"

The young agent gave him a sincere smile and nodded. "I'm fine." And walked out of his office quickly.

All Aaron Hotchner could do was hope. Hope it was his imagination carrying him away on a false notion. Hope that whatever Reid was hiding was not serious. Hope that everything would be alright.

–

Leaving Hotch's office sparked a sudden contemplation of how events were playing out. Particularly, why he was being so secretive about this. Normally a private person, he was lying and caching one of the most important details of his life at the time. The only other thing he had kept this close to the vest was his drug addiction, in which motives were obvious. This was not a dark and dangerous secret. So why was he so protective of one of the greatest things to ever happen to him?

Because he was waiting—waiting for the inevitable to happen. Chaos. Unhappiness. Loneliness. He was waiting for the relationship to end, and he could not handle the humilation of his team member's knowing too.

Three steps outside of Aaron Hotchner's office. That was as far as he made it before Morgan crept up on him with a mischievous grin on his face. Cynically, Reid thought to himself that no good could come from whatever caused his coworker to resemble the Cheshire cat.

Once caught up, Morgan wrapped one arm around his shoulder and his cheeky grin intensified. "Reid, Reid, Reid. Just the man I wanted to see." This merely confirmed Reid's hypothesis of pending debauchery.

"What do you want?" He calculated how much force it would require to peel Morgan's beefy arm away from his frame. Resigning himself to an unmarked amount of time listening without refuge, he remained under his thumb, so to speak.

"Got any Valentines day plans?" When Reid said nothing, Morgan continued the conversation without him. "Because I have got the woman for you..."

Reid cleared his throat—how would he avoid this situation without divulging his secret? "I'm sorry Morgan, I can't."

Morgan groaned noisly, and refused to let himself be ignored. "Come on, Reid. I saw how you were with that bartender in Georgia. You're not as inept as you think. Fear is no reason to stay on the sidelines, kid."

With a grin, Reid held his tongue. Fear was keeping him "on the sidelines" as Morgan described it. Continuing with that ridiculous sports metaphor, Reid was secretly in the game.

Suddenly filled with bravado and desperate to get his pestering to cease, Reid abruptly turned and looked Morgan straight in the eyes. "Morgan, it's not that. I'm taking some time off to deal with some personal matters, and I'd really appreciate if you would cease and desist on all matchmaking endeavors involving myself."

The playful mischief in his face was suddenly replaced with remorse. In his eyes, Reid saw that look of pity. Whenever his mother experienced a breakdown, that look that seemed more apologetic than anything. He hated that look.

Silently, the two reached their desks, and Morgan finally released his grip on Reid.

It was then they noticed a beautiful and curvy blonde sitting at Reid's desk. Garcia was waiting for him, spinning slowly and nonchalantly in his desk chair. Her loud floral print skirt swayed with the motion, and her face remained still with patience. "About time. So I've been cruising the web, trying to find you a good deal on your flight, among other things."

Reid swallowed hard—this was the moment he had been dreading. Teasing would be coming inevitably. Garcia handed him a small pile of printed papers, her crimson lips turned up in a half grin.

"Thank you." He cleared his throat, snatched the papers, and stalked off before Morgan could find out the truth, and begin the taunting.

"Alright, mama. You have got to fill me in on what's going on with Reid."

She felt conflicted—betray a secret that had been entrusted in her by a seemingly untrusting coworker, or divulge every last detail to her chocolate god. Her instincts were to spill, but in this case she would have to take another approach...

"Sorry, I'm afraid this tech goddess is like that infamous song by the Go Go's." Returning to her feet, she pressed out the wrinkles in her skirt, and looked to Morgan. His brows were furrowed in confusion, at both Garcia's sudden secrecy and her reference. Seductively, she ran her perfectly manicured finger along his perfectly chiseled jawline and grinned. "My lips are sealed."

–

The entire ride home was spent contemplating logistics. Plans for travel and packing. Garcia had bookmarked several options for restaurants and potential date venues. It felt like he could breathe a little easier now that he wasn't lying to every single person on his team.

Each step he took towards his door made him exponentially more excited for the coming days. If everything went according to plan, he would soon be seeing Austin. It was enough to make his heart pound furiously. Every step he spent calculating how the weekend would unfold.

But there was nothing he could have done to mentally prepare himself for what was waiting around that corner.

"Austin." He said in a daze. It was unfathomable that the girl he cared so passionately for, the girl he was about to travel to see, was standing before him.

"Hey." She sounded tired, and it was almost like she was forcing herself to seem amiable. "Sorry I didn't call first. I wanted it to be a surprise."

He grinnned slightly, still trembling from the adrenaline. "Mission accomplished."

"Can we talk?" Her segue was non-existent, and her curtness darkened Reid's sense of optimism. Still, he was eager to appease her. He reached into his pocket, whipped out the key, and opened his door. Internally grateful that he had picked up his modest apartment before leaving for work, he navigated her through his dimly lit kitchen. Once they were in the living room, both seemed to collapse onto the couch. She looked exhausted from her travels; he was just too happy to see her to even think properly.

"We need to talk, and I didn't want to do this over the phone."

He lifted his hand, hoping it wasn't shaking too much. He needed to appear confident. "Wait. Before we discuss whatever you wanted to discuss, let me just say something." He took a deep breath, and uncharacteristically spoke exactly what he was feeling. "You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I've missed you so much."

She halfheartedly smiled, as if she was dragging her facial expressions through quick-drying cement. "I missed you too." Her body language and tone seemed to dispute this statement.

"So what's on your mind?" His optimism was fading now. Something was wrong, extremely wrong.

She looked down—appearing somewhere between guilty and remorseful. Every time she opened her lips to speak, nothing would come out. It was just nervewracking for the both of him. She had something she wanted—no, needed—to say, and he just could not handle the wait.

Guilt. That was definitely the emotion weighing heavily in her eyes. There was something she needed to tell him, and she looked extremely upset about it. His heart plummeted into his stomach, as if it were some tawdry theme park ride. He was unable to breathe. Every worst fear he'd concocted about their relationship seemed shockingly possible now. She couldn't handle the distance any more. He had done something wrong, been too needy, and scared her away. It was all over.

He motioned for her to continue. She took a deep breath, and whispered. "Reid, I think I'm pregnant."

Dun dun dun...

Review please! I absolutely love hearing what you guys think, and I'm curious if your theories were correct or not. :) Your support keeps me glued to my computer, making more chapters. :D

I promise to update as soon as I can. But with classes starting soon, I cannot make any concrete promises.

Oh, and I'm extremely excited for September 23rd. !!!

~IWillBeThereWhereYouAre