11

God, she tastes so sweet, was Haruka's first rational thought.

And then her brain finally registered what was going on, what she was doing, and she broke the kiss off, practically jumping away from the younger woman.

Michiru opened her eyes, surprised at the sudden lack of warmth, and blinked.

"I'm sorry" the blonde said "I shouldn't have..."

"It's ok"

"I didn't mean to... I'm sorry" Haruka repeated, looking incredibly embarrassed.

Michiru looked at her, blue eyes meeting green ones "I did" she simply said. But when the blonde simply looked at her and blinked, the aquamarine haired woman just threw her hands up in the air, in a frustrated manner "We all have our secrets, right?"

"What?" the blonde asked, not really following.

"I think I'm gay!" she exclaimed "That's my secret! I think I'm gay, and I'm obsessed with you!"

Again, Haruka just blinked at her. What the hell was she talking about?

"You think? Wha... What do you mean? I... I don't understand..."

"Exactly what I said!" Michiru exclaimed again "I thought it was just a phase, I though it was just some stupid teenage curiosity or something. Kissing girls and all. And then I went to college, and I met Masaya, and I liked him. I did. He was sweet, and charming, and funny, but I wasn't really attracted to him and..."

"What are you talking about?" the tall woman asked, now frowning, and completely lost.

"My ex boyfriend!" the younger woman answered, now walking around the wide kitchen in small circles "I wasn't attracted to him, alright? I've never been attracted to men! But I liked him and he was sweet, and I liked being with him. But I didn't like... you know... being with him... And how fucked up is that?" she asked, exasperated with herself "I mean, what kind of normal person doesn't like sex?"

"You don't like sex?" Haruka asked, frowning "You really are weird..."

"I know!" Michiru exclaimed "It never felt right, and I never really... enjoyed it... not really. So I tried to avoid it. That's why I can't really blame him for cheating on me so much. I mean, what kind of decent, loving girlfriend was I? Always avoiding intimacy? It's just crazy, right?"

"Ok, calm down, you're babbling" the blonde said, now getting somewhat amused over the aquamarine haired girl's confession.

"And then you showed up!" she kept talking and walking around "He took me to that race of yours, and the first time I saw you, I thought to myself, there's a guy I'm attracted to! I was thrilled!" she exclaimed, and Haruka chuckled at the comment "I was finally interested in a guy, for real, only to find out, you're not a guy at all!"

"Sorry" Haruka said "People often make the same mistake"

"I was devastated! I actually thought I'd be finally able to be with someone, and actually enjoy it, and... and I got obsessed with you! Only to come here because of some weird divine intervention and my stupid car dying on me, and I met you, and now I know the truth" she stopped walking in circles, and looked up at the tall blonde "And I'm still attracted to you! I'm so crazy about you!" she exclaimed, walking up to the tall woman "So I guess that means I'm gay, right? I never really liked men, and I always liked girls. And you... you just drive me crazy"

She kissed the tall blonde again, savagely, hard on the mouth. And Haruka responded with the same force, but then she broke the kiss again, grabbing the younger woman by the shoulders and keeping her at arms length.

"Michiru, I..." she started, looking at her big, confused blue eyes "Look, I like you, ok? I do. You're a beautiful woman, and I really do like you"

"But?" she asked, frowning.

"But you're the kind of person who's looking for a relationship. And I respect that..."

"But?" she asked again, not really following the blonde's point.

"But I don't do relationships" she answered her, and then she took a deep breath, a hand going through short blonde hair "My life's a mess. I'm a single mother, a car racer, and I'm in charge of a teen year old sick girl, and an orphan, crazy teenager. I'm out touring around the world for days or even weeks in a road, and then I spend the rest of my time here, in this town, right in the middle of nowhere, taking care of my family"

Michiru frowned at her "I don't understand... what does that have to do with...?"

"I'm a whole package!" she exclaimed "It's not just me you get involved with here, ok? And I understand how it can be too much for someone, so I just... don't" she explained "I can't let Hikari get close to someone who's not gonna be there next week. It turned out pretty nasty the last time, and I can't do that to her again. I won't. And now I have Hotaru too"

She took a deep breath, and lower her gaze. But when she felt Michiru's hand in her own, she looked up again "What happened?" she asked "Last time. You said it went wrong..."

The blonde let out a sight "She got fed up" she finally answered "I can't really blame her, I mean... I was out of town two, three days a week, and when I was here, I was always with Hikari, or making sure Makoto's not getting into trouble at school. She's a nice girl, but she thinks she's the people's defender or something, so she's always getting into fights... And then Dr. Tomoe died, and Hotaru came... I couldn't give her the time and the attention she needed, and it all became too much for her, so she just got fed up and went back to the city"

"Because of the girls?" Michiru asked, incredulous "But it's only normal!" she exclaimed "I mean, Hikari's your daughter, of course you have to be with her! And she's adorable! Who wouldn't want to spend time with her? And Makoto and Hotaru are under your care, and what you're doing for them is just amazing! Not many people would do that"

The blonde let out a sigh "You're young, you're only twenty years old" Haruka said "She was only a year older than you. It's just too much of a package for someone so young"

"You're twenty two, you're not that much older" Michiru argued.

"It's different" the blonde said "I chose this. I chose to keep my baby, I chose to take Makoto in with me, I chose to take care of Hotaru. It was my choice! Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it, and I'd do it all over again if I had to. But I can't force it into someone else's life!" she tried to explain "And don't get me started with this whole criminal ex boyfriend thing! And I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess, but it's not like I have a say in the matter..."

"I know that" she softly said, a hand gently caressing the blonde's cheek "And I know you're not just protecting the girls here"

Haruka shut her eyes, letting out a sigh "We're both tired, lets just go back to sleep, ok?" she said, opening her eyes again "Lets sleep this over, and maybe we can talk tomorrow"

Michiru smiled warmly at her, her hand still on Haruka's cheek "Ok" she said, nodding her head, and kissing her other cheek "Good night, Ruka"

And with that, the aquamarine haired young woman walked out of the kitchen, leaving a confused blonde woman behind her.

"Good night, Michi"