I know it's been a while guys but I kinda had writers block and I also had a ton of exams to study for but I just want you to know I'm not giving up on this story, I am still writing it, so here's the next chapter hope you enjoy!

I own nothing I am not SM! Blah blah

Also I'm tired and cannot be bothered to check for typos/grammar correction so you'll have to put up with any mistakes…

JAKE

'Go and get her Jacob I just I can't bear it I can't' Edward choked on his last words as he walked back to the car with Bella following him. I had never seen Edward get like that before, his heart was breaking seeing his daughter like that but it didn't compare to how I felt, I felt agonised.

'I'll leave you to get her Jake' Emmett said sympathetically and for once I saw the emotion in Emmett's eyes as he walked back to the car distressed at what he was witnessing.

They obviously weren't strong enough, but I had to be, I had to be strong for her because there was no point to life without her, I had to help my angel through this and get her back, she meant everything to me.

'Nessie' I said quietly approaching her, even in her drunk state she noticed me. She pulled back from the blonde kid and threw him to the ground wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. I could hear him faintly breathing passed out, thank god she hadn't killed him, but surely he would remember though? I doubted it, he was too drunk but I sent Edward a silent message to send Carlisle for him to give him some type of drug to help him forget or something.

Nessie looked at me in the dark and started towards me before swaying and nearly falling over but I caught her just in time, she too looked like she was about to pass out.

'Jake, is that you?' she muttered, heavily. God she was wasted.

'Yes it is and you're coming home right now' I said firmly.

She laughed drunkenly, her eyes closed and heavy lidded 'I knew you'd come and get me' and then she fell again, she couldn't walk; I had to pick her up and carry her back to the car. As soon as she was in my arms her head hit my chest and she fell asleep instantly. It was in that moment that I realised how incredibly fragile she was, how could I have thought of not going to save her and going along with Edward's plan? She was so young and delicate in my arms. A tear dropped down my eyes as I kissed her forehead. I vowed to never leave her no matter what and it was going to be my mission to get her back.

In the car I draped her over my lap and wiped her matted knotty hair from her eyes. We were silent on the way back but when we were nearly there Edward spoke up.

'Tomorrow we have to try a new plan, this one obviously failed; she knew we came to get her. Jacob I want you to put her to bed and then come up to the main house; it's time for a family meeting.'

I nodded and when he stopped the car at the cottage I carried her out while they carried on up to the main house. When I got inside and carried her up the stairs she started to stir. I quickly went into her bedroom and set her down on her bed and took her shoes off and pulled the dress down. I was not getting her undressed; I couldn't could deal with that right now. It felt wrong somehow.

Me and Nessie were not romantically intimate; I didn't know what our status was right now. I guess I was just her protector again and right now, I hated to say it but she was a mess. She didn't look peaceful sleeping. I knew all the pain was still there, buried underneath the façade but she didn't want to acknowledge it. I would make her feel again, if it was the last thing I ever did and I would help her through everything, always and forever. I kissed her hair and turned to leave but I stopped short. I didn't want to leave her alone, I was afraid she'd wake up and run away again. I debated with myself and decided to take her with me. She had Edward's old room at the Cullen's, she could sleep there, I wasn't risking it again, I promised I'd never let her out of my sight. I walked back over to pick her up gently and I heard her groan.

'Sorry Ness, not risking it' I whispered and she frowned. She was in a weird, half sleepy drunken state, there was no way I was leaving her here.

Once I arrived into the main house everyone was seated around the table where the only people that ever ate there were myself and Nessie. All eyes darted towards me.

'Jake, why have you brought Nessie?' Edward quizzed and all eyes landed on Nessie.

'She's in this weird half sleep state, I'm not risking it, she can sleep in her room here' I said and took her upstairs. When I got downstairs they were all waiting patiently for me.

'Hello Jacob, please join us' Carlisle said politely and calmly and motioned for me to sit down next to him and Bella. I nodded once and sat down whilst Rosalie scowled at me.

'What the hell are you scowling at?' I said to her angrily, I was already out of my mind about Nessie and I didn't need this bitch to start anything. I hated Rose, I honestly did and I tried to be nice most of the time because of Nessie but I refused to anymore, I wouldn't stand for it.

'I'm scowling at you dog; it's your fault Nessie's in this mess anyway, why did you take her out? Everything's your fault' she snarled.

I laughed crudely once 'ha that's a joke' I retorted 'where were all of you today? I'll tell you where, off shopping doing what you do best, waiting for Emmett to come home for him to fu…'

'Enough' Edward shouted, his voice low and harsh. I stared into her eyes, oh how I'd love to sink my teeth into her neck and hear the metallic screech. I removed my eyes from the leech so I wouldn't have to look at her any longer.

'This is about Renesmee and we need to stay united' Carlisle continued professionally. He was right, this was about Nessie but I wouldn't be united with the ice cold Barbie if there was nobody left on this earth.

'We need another plan; we need to trigger some emotions' he carried on. Well duh I thought to myself sarcastically and Edward raised an eyebrow at me.

RENESMEE

I must admit I was pretty wasted, my head was heavy and clouded but I was a vampire and I definitely wasn't a light weight. I could hear every word they were whispering about me downstairs at their 'family meeting.' How to trigger my emotions, how to make me feel again. Didn't they understand? Didn't they get it? I knew exactly how to do it, I didn't need provoking, I didn't want to. Why would I want to go back to feeling crappy all the time? Always wondering whether Jake liked me or not, all the guilt, the anguish, the pain. It was better gone. Yes of course, I wasn't stupid, I knew it was still there and there was a part of me that desperately wanted to feel again but my mind was stronger than my heart. Just. I knew what would happen if I started to feel again and I just couldn't face it. I had killed someone. I know he was a bad man but still, he was dead and the blood was on my hands. Was I any better?

It had only been a day; couldn't they just leave me some peace for a while?

But you're not at peace Renesmee; you're in your darkest place ever my sane voice shouted at me.

Ugh go away. I was torn. Half of me wanted to break down and sob into my pillow for a thousand years, the other half wanted to go out and drain the blood out of a thousand humans. I was hyperventilating, I was losing it. Today had been the longest day ever and I just wanted it to end. All in one day I had killed someone, turned off my feelings, gone out and got drunk and managed to piss off my whole family.

I refused to let my emotions get the better of me and as hard as it was I breathed in and out deeply and took control of myself again and somehow managed to fall back asleep, un-peaceful.