20
She was sitting on a bench an the backyard of the big house. The loud music made it impossible for her to listen to nature's sound, but she still found some peace and quietness looking up at the velvet sky.
She had an untouched bottle of beer in her hand, and she was mindlessly playing with it, making the liquid inside twirl around as she moved it in small circles.
The cold night's breeze met her legs, and she shivered slightly, regretting her choice of clothing. She frowned, looking down on herself.
'I hate skirts', she thought, as she contemplated the white skirt that barely reached her mid thighs. The tight light blue shirt she was wearing was nice enough, and she knew she looked good. But she still didn't quite like it.
She frowned. 'But he does', she told herself, as she felt an arm going around her shoulders, bringing her close to a wide, warm chest.
Light blue eyes looked at her, and she forced herself to smile. 'He's drunk again...'
"Why the long face, sugar?" he asked her, smiling "You should be inside, enjoying the party!" he exclaimed, standing up.
He took her hand in his, jerking her up, sending her body crushing against his. The beer she had in her hands flowing down to the soft, green grass.
"I... I'm sorry" she said, her hands on his chest, trying to regain her balance, as she stumbled along with him "I just needed some fresh air..."
He look down on her, and smiled.
She was a tall girl. Taller than all the rest. But he was still taller than her. And their position allowed him to look on the girl's cleavage, slightly showing off with her shirt.
He smiled again, his hands around her slender waist, pressing their bodies together, and enjoying the feeling of her soft, full breasts against him.
She squealed, surprised at the sudden move, and looked up at him, frowning.
"Come on" he said, taking both her hands in his, and guiding her towards the trees at the back.
He then pressed her hard against a tree, pinning her there with the force of his own body, as his hands start traveling up and down her thighs, his mouth leaving a hot, wet trail on her neck.
Her eyes went wide open, and she panicked "What are you doing?" she asked, trying to push him away from her with her hands.
He took her wrists, lifting them up above her head. He pressed one leg between hers, making room for his hips there, and making her lose her balance.
"Come on, Sugar" he said to her, smiling "We've been dating for almost a year now..."
"As, please" she argued, appealing at his nickname. He always loved it when she called him that "You... you're drunk... and everyone's..."
"Everyone's starting to wonder" he interrupted her, now pressing harder against her "Maybe what you father said about you is true" he hissed, biting her neck "Is it?" he asked, now licking her ear "Are you a dyke?" he asked again, his hand now on her breast, squeezing it hard.
She whimpered, and shook her head "No..."
"Then prove it" he hissed again, crushing her mouth against hers, kissing her hard.
He fought against the buttons on her shirt, tearing off more than one, and then he sneaked a hand under her white bra, pinching her nipple, hard and painfully.
She tilted her head to the side, trying to avoid his drunken breath, and shut her eyes closed, trying to ignore the sudden nausea.
But when she felt a sharp, unexpected pain inside her, tearing her apart, burning her, her eyes went wide open, and a scream of pain died in her throat as the tears filled her eyes.
She felt him licking her neck, and making a disgusting sound as he thrust inside her again and again.
Hard.
Painfully.
Hurting her on her most sensitive, private spot.
"You dyke, you disgusting dyke!" she heard her father's yelling again, and she closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks.
She whimpered again, her eyes looking up at the sky now, as she desperately tried to ignore the burning feeling inside her.
The pain was unbearable. But she didn't scream. She didn't fight him.
And then he was gone, and she fell down to the grass, trembling, shaking. She heard him saying something, but she couldn't make out the words. She simply stayed there, on her hands and knees, telling herself over and over again that this was normal, this was what she wanted. That he was her boyfriend. That she wasn't a dyke...
The burning pain wouldn't go away, and she could feel something warm running down her legs. She looked down on herself, staring mindlessly at the trail of blood.
She threw up then, emptying her stomach, crying hard, and trembling uncontrolled.
She didn't want this. She wanted to go back in time. To make the pain and the burning go away.
She didn't want this!
She opened her eyes to the dark of her bedroom, sweating, and shaking. She closed them again, her trembling hands covering her face, as she tried to composed herself. But she couldn't help the choked whimper that escaped her.
"Damn it!" she cursed, sitting up on the bed.
It had felt so real... It always did. It was like living it all over again...
She felt a pair of hands softly reaching for her, and she jumped up on the bed, surprised, and turned around. But the soft face she met was welcoming, not threatening at all...
"You were dreaming again" came Michiru's soft voice, as the aquamarine haired woman tried to reach the trembling blonde again.
At the soft tone, and the loving, understanding look on those big blue eyes, Haruka couldn't keep it in anymore. She simply broke down. Tears running down her cheeks, her body shaking uncontrolled.
She felt a pair of arms encircling her frame, and she let the other woman hold her close, cuddling on her lap, as the tears kept on coming. The sheets came over her sweaty, trembling body again, and she felt a comforting hand gently caressing her back.
Michiru didn't say anything. Didn't ask any questions. She simply stayed there, sitting on the bed, her back resting against the soft pillows, holding the now softly crying blonde in her arms.
Haruka closed her eyes, breathing in the sweet, soft scent of the woman next to her, as she tried to make the memories dancing in her mind to go away.
She hadn't dreamed about that one night in years. It was always her father... but never Asuke.
She had spent many nights trying to convince herself that it had been her fault. She could have stopped him. She could have screamed out... But she had simply let it happen.
And she had felt so empty, so dirty... And used. And completely worthless.
It had taken her years to finally get over it, and be able to be intimate with another person. He had hurt her so much, so deep inside, that she had been scared of being with someone again... Scared of that sharp, burning feeling. Not the pain of her body, but the pain burning down her soul...
"I could have stopped him..." she whispered, swallowing hard "I should have... God, I was so stupid!"
"You were young, Ruka" Michiru softly whispered, understanding what the blonde was talking about "It wasn't your fault"
"But I let him" she argued "I didn't want to, but I still let him..." she swallowed again "And it hurt... so much..." she said, her voice barely audible.
"It wasn't your fault" Michiru said again, softly, comfortingly "It's over, you're safe now" she said, gently guiding the blonde's head back on the pillows, tucking her in "You just rest"
Haruka took her hand, looking up at her "Stay with me" she pleaded, needing the aquamarine haired woman next to her.
She felt so vulnerable, so small. And she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep without that soft, comforting embrace. "Please..."
Michiru smiled at her, bending down and kissing her softly on the lips, before she let herself get comfortable under the sheets.
"Of course" she whispered, softly, as she held the taller woman close to her. I'll do anything for you, Ruka, she added, mentally.
And as the blonde woman closed her eyes, her face resting close to hers, strong, slender arms around her waist, Michiru knew she meant it. It didn't matter if it was too soon. It didn't matter how messed up everything was right now.
She simply knew, she would never be able to walk away.
She wanted to stay like that forever. With Haruka sleeping right next to her.