Not checking for typos blah blah
Yeahhh enjoy…
RENESMEE
It was morning before I awoke again; it was the sun blazing on my face through the windows.
I was pleasantly warm and my headache was gone, I felt really good. Jake's arm was still wrapped tightly around me and he was sleeping. I gazed up at him adoringly; I admired his structured perfect face, his hair messy. He looked so beautiful and all of my anger from before seemed to have faded and I was peaceful.
I just stared at him for a while until his eyes flickered open and he almost immediately looked down at me. He smiled.
We looked at eachother for a moment and then before uttering a single word he leaned down to kiss me. I was surprised, it usually took a lot to work Jake up for kissing me for his fear of 'going to far' but I went along with it and kissed him back. When he broke away he ran his fingers through my hair.
'I love you' he said softly and bent down again to kiss my neck.
'What brought this on?' I asked, savouring his mouth which was soft against my skin
'I love you Nessie, so much' he murmured against my neck
'I love you too' I replied and lifted his head up to kiss him again.
When we both broke away, gasping for air I rolled over so I was on top of him lying down against his chest and he wrapped his arms around my waist.
'I could get used to waking up like this every morning' I said, lightly tracing my fingers against his bare skin.
'So could I' he replied.
'I'm sorry for yesterday Ness, I really am' he added but I pressed a finger to his mouth.
'Shh' I whispered 'its forgotten okay?'
He nodded.
'It's Valentine's Day soon; I wanted us to go away together, like on vacation, because we haven't really had anytime alone together' he said playing with the ends of my hair.
'Really?' I asked, 'you'd want to be completely alone with me for a whole vacation?'
'Of course I would silly, I couldn't think of anyone better to ever spend a vacation with. I want to spend forever with you.'
I smiled. I didn't want to ruin this perfect morning, but there were things we still needed to talk about, I mean if we were going away on vacation with eachother, completely alone, what did he expect to happen?
'Jake?' I asked
'Yeah, babe?' he replied. The first time he called me babe; I did a typical teenage girl thing and noted it.
'I don't want to ruin this morning, but if were gonna go away together don't you think we should talk about our… erm… relationship?
His face fell slightly for a second but he didn't lose his cool, I knew he knew exactly what we were talking about.
'When your 17, you can bring up this conversation again okay?' he said quietly, stroking my face
'I think I'm practically 17, I'm due my review by Carlisle next week'
He sighed and sat up pulling me up with him so I was sat in his lap.
'Go ahead, talk to me' he instructed.
'Really?' I asked, this definitely looked like a trick
'Really, Nessie, I shouldn't stop you from speaking to me about certain things, so go ahead'
'Well, erm' I stuttered, what was wrong with me? come back confidence my inner voice screamed 'I er' I couldn't quite find the right words. 'Oh god, I don't know what to say' I said burying my head in his neck.
He didn't respond for a moment and then he rubbed my back slowly.
'Nessie, I gave you the chance to talk to me, I don't understand' he said
'Yeah but you make it feel like an interview' I said sitting up to look at him
He didn't say anything he just waited still rubbing my back, encouraging me…
'I want us to have more of a physical relationship' I blurted out but I didn't blush, I was determined to not be embarrassed.
He breathed in and out deeply and closed his eyes for a moment, like he was deep in thought.
'And you honestly think you're ready to take that step?' he finally said staring deep into my eyes as if he could see all the way through to my soul, knowing him he probably could. I knew he was looking for any trace of hesitance or nervousness.
'Yes' I answered
'I don't know Ness, you're so young still I just feel like I'm taking advantage, you're the most important thing to me on this earth'
'I know how much you love me Jake' I assured him 'I know you'd never take advantage of me, if anything you're too hesitant, I know you'd never do anything like that to me. I want you, only you forever.'
He breathed in and out deeply again and rested his hands on my shoulder
'I will not make love to you until Carlisle tells me you're eighteen. Ideally we should wait until were married like Bella and Edward but I know you'd never agree to that, as you've already told me before we're eternal imprints Jake, marriage is so human' he said quoting me and I laughed. I had often said that. I mean I did want to get married, a pretty wedding and everything someday but not for the reason to make love. We were imprints, that's more official than any piece of paper.
'Okay' I smiled 'but we can other stuff until then' I offered and he raised his eyebrows, he looked so hot when he did that.
'Like what?' he said suggestively and I bit down on my lip not quite sure of what to say.
'I don't know, you must know more than me, you're older' I said
'So you want a physical relationship and you have no idea what kind of stuff that involves?' he quizzed.
'Not really' I admitted 'I mean, I don't really have any experience with this kind of stuff, obviously'
'And you think I have?' he asked
'Well you must at least know stuff, even if you haven't done anything' I said but then suddenly it hit me. I hadn't really ever asked about Jake's previous love life before I was born. I knew he used to have a crush on my mom but I pretended that didn't happen because it was just horrible and I didn't like to think about it. But other than her Jake must have had other girlfriends, he was gorgeous but I hated the idea of someone else touching and kissing my Jake.
'Jake, have you ever had another girlfriend' I asked quietly, not really wanting to know the answer.
His breathing hitched and I could tell he had been praying this question would never come up but after all it was inevitable.
'I wouldn't say girlfriend' he answered 'or anything close, girlfriend implies you care about them and I didn't care about any girls I ever dated.'
'You dated other girls?' I said, trying not to cry. Ugh why was I such a baby? Wasn't it obvious he had had a life before I existed?
'None of them meant anything Ness, I was just a guy, I wanted to fit in with everyone else. They Literally meant nothing, you're the one for me, the only one, always and forever.'
And then I asked the question I really didn't want an answer for, 'have you ever slept with anyone Jake?' I asked looking down.
'No' he answered quietly and I looked back up. I believed him.
'Have you ever been intimate with anyone before?'
He didn't answer for a long time and he looked down and at that moment I knew that he had, and I just knew it was more than a kiss. I scrambled out of his lap and got up out of the bed standing up, running my hands through my hair. I couldn't get over the thought of someone being intimate with Jake, he was MINE. I was so angry and hurt and when I was angry and hurt we all knew what happened. The part of me that didn't want to feel anything was throbbing, begging me to turn the emotions off but I couldn't, I promised Jake, I promised everyone. It took everything I had to stay in control.
'Nessie, come back here' he said
'Who was it?' I asked calmly still looking away from him. I heard him sigh heavily.
'It was just some random girl in La Push, I don't even remember her name, she didn't mean anything' he insisted
'So you let some random La Push girl feel you up and vice versa, but you didn't even want to speak about any kind of physical relationship with me!' I screamed, I was angry now.
He got up of the bed and edged towards me but I pushed him away hard and he stumbled back into the bed 'stay away from me' I shouted and the tears started to come.
'It's because I care about you!' he shouted back 'I didn't care about her, I don't care about anyone else! You're my forever!'
'Yeah but you've already done stuff before and I haven't done anything and I feel like such an idiot' I said crying angry tears
'I love that you've never done anything, it adds to everything else that is pure and perfect about you, honestly Nessie, I've never regretted anything more in my life, trust me.'
I needed air, my emotions were getting the better of me and I needed to get away from Jake for a bit before I gave in and turned them off again and I didn't want to. I couldn't wait until this ability stopped when I was 18. I took one last look at him with his pleading eyes and ran straight from the room, towards the woods. My sanctuary.
When I got to my favourite place in the woods, I looked back but Jake wasn't following me which was good. I needed space and distance to clear my head. I hated being angry with him but I was just so upset that another girl had been with him the way I so desperately wanted to.
I was there for about fifteen minutes when I heard quiet footsteps behind me.
'Go away Jacob' I shouted, even though he'd be able to hear me if I whispered.
'Yes, he does need to go away doesn't he? Then it can be just me and you' a strange voice spoke. It wasn't Jake's voice. I froze in fear and turned around hesitantly to find Nahuel standing strong and tall. A few metres away from me …
Word of warning: the next chapter is pretty intense…