Words Can't Explain

Two: Diluted

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, unfortunately. If I did, Sasuke would've never left and caused Sakura a lot of pain, and Sakura would be as old as Kakashi so it wouldn't be wrong for them to date. Etc.

Sakura POV

Sasuke grinned wickedly as he laid his body atop mine; one hand landing on my thigh —gripping way too hard, of course— and the other hand closing around my jugular. "S-Sasuke… no, no… t-this isn't right…." my words came out choked and weak.

"If you want Mai to come back to you and live healthily, you will let me do whatever I please to you." he growled out in the shell of my ear, then nibbled on it. He squeezed my thigh.

"Can y-you at least let g-go of my t-throat? P-please?" I asked feebly.

He did what I least expected him to. He let go of it. With a mixture of a snarl and a purr, he attacked my lips by crushing his down on them. His mouth moved rapidly, and violently, like a hungry stray. He forced his tongue past my teeth, sliding it across mine. I shivered as his hips ground into mine, also feeling his hardened arousal. Why do I keep letting him do these horrible things to me? I feel so used…

He shoved down my skirt and cotton panties, then unbuttoned his pants, removed them, along with his boxers. "You know you want this, Sakura, like you want me."

I shook my head back and forth, fiercely. "No, I don't. Maybe I did at first, but now you're just a ruthless, bleak, ass. I hate you so much. You took my whole life away, my everything. Mai…," I can't believe the words came out of my mouth. That's so unlike me.

His onyx eyes darkened with fury. "Maybe I shouldn't give Mai back to you, maybe I should just kill her! Unless you want to take her place?"

Visions of him stabbing Mai with a kitchen knife exploded into my mind, it was like he was manipulating it. There vivid images of blood splattered on the floor, on the walls, and on his hands. But this last thing was very disturbing and troubling… her bloodcurdling scream.

Beep!…Beep!…Bee— I slapped my hand on the alarm clock, I hope I wasn't too forceful. "Mai!" I went upward in my bed, now in a sitting position. Then understanding hit me. "Oh, it was just a dream… but she's still…" I brought my knees up to my chest and laid my cheek on them, feeling the clear salty tears leak from my eyes. I sucked my lower lip and trapped it between my teeth, and let out short grunt, trying to stop the tears. I glanced at the clock quickly, 8:04 a.m., I need to get up and get ready. My appointment starts at nine, like it will for everyday now. After that one hour, I have to go and work at the hospital, and after that, around six p.m., I have to go to Hana's, the café I waitress at. My life just got much, much busier. Hopefully Tsunade-sama can bend my schedule even more.

I shook my head, took a deep breath and got out of bed. I shrieked as my bare feet touched the freezing wood floor. I rummaged through my closet for some clothes to throw on my body, and mused. I'm living in a three bedroom two-story house. Alone, now. I felt my lips twist wistfully. I could keep up with the payment, but I don't think I can handle the… loneliness. I've never lived by myself in my whole life. Once I moved out with my parents, I was already with Sasuke.

Stop thinking about it and get your fucking ass down to the Psychology Center! Why did my conscious always have to have a potty mouth? Whatever, my job is just to listen to it. But first, my stomach was telling me something more important: breakfast.

After I picked out a plain pencil skirt, a grey button-up collar shirt, and some casual black heels, I went out the door, heading for a small breakfast and tea diner. Odd for a diner, but still. It served all of my favorite beverages there: Pepsi, and green tea with a hint of raspberry. My stomach growled eagerly.

As I was pondering mindlessly, I typed in the security code for our—my garage door. It opened almost in an instant, so I pulled my car keys out of my purse. My car better fucking be there when I turn around. My finger twitched as I turned around — oh, thank God. Its there, my baby's there. When I say 'my baby', I mean my silver Ferrari. He didn't take it. He could've though, because I keep Sasuke's spare car key, and Sasuke keeps my spare car key. But I shoved those thoughts away and walked over to my car, opening the front door, and starting the engine. Its low purr calmed me, knowing he didn't do anything to it either was relieving. I felt the smallest of smiles creep up and brighten my woeful face. Even if it was just a tiny bit.

I backed out of the driveway and drove towards the breakfast diner, grateful that it was semi-early and there was barely any traffic out right now, at least around my neighborhood. It also never took very long to drive to the diner, which was another thing I was thankful for.

As was expected, I was a the pulling into the small parking lot of the diner, which took less then ten minutes. I got out of my car and closed the door, also setting the alarm. I walked across the lot and into the diner. It would be an odd visit for them today since Sasuke and… Mai weren't with me. I bit my lip and sat in one of the stools.

My favorite worker here (not to mention handsome), Tashi, looked at my strangely and said, "Sakura? Where's your douche for a husband and Mai?" He stopped wiping the counter to actually look me in the eyes.

I stared at the white countertop and frowned. I couldn't lie to him, I was always here. Everyday. With Sasuke and Mai. Don't cry. We don't want to look as weak as we feel, now do we? Inner reminded me. I smiled dolefully as I realized a tear escaped my eye, disobeying my inner self. "Last night… we got into another fight, but I think I must have said something… to make him take away Mai from me and go somewhere God only knows where. I-I'm trying as hard as I can to keep my mind off of it. But, I'm not doing very good." I managed to slip a small chuckle out of my mouth, then finally looked up at him.

He gazed at me with pitiful eyes. "Oh, Sakura," he grabbed one of the hands that was holding my head. "I'm… so, so sorry. I knew he wasn't good enough for you! Stoic stuck-up asshole…" he kept rambling on, only tightening his grip on my hand.

I'm glad I have some good friends. "I guess I'll take my usual." Which was that raspberry green tea I was talking about earlier, and two pancakes with a strawberry topped on them.

He jumped the slightest bit. "Ha, sorry. I'll be right back." he smiled sheepishly and walked off.

I smiled back at him, but when he turned around to where his back was to me, I instantly frowned, again.

It feels as if I'm writhing painfully from the inside out, it's like someone squeezing and pulling at the loosely tied strands of my bloody, battered heart. It's too uncomfortable and dark. Too alone. I feel trapped in a terrible abyss. My mind is just worse. Images pop up in my head. His blood covered hands and face. Dark and hellish, evil eyes. More blood. This one thing always replayed in my mind… like a broken record… he's lurching towards me, Mai, Naruto, my family, everyone I cared and lived for—

"Sakura!" Tashi's voice broke me of my horrific thoughts.

My head snapped up. "Oh! Sorry. I just spaced out there for a minute…" I curved my lips upwards weakly, then looked down at the steaming plate of pancakes that looked mouthwatering. I breathed its sent in deeply, then grabbed my plastic fork and butter knife and dug in. It was delicious, as usual. "Thank you," I mumbled out between mouthfuls of pancake.

He smiled amusedly and chuckled. "You know, you don't have to tell me thank you everyday you come here…"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just being polite," I swallowed before continuing. "Plus sometimes I do feel guilty that I never have given you anything in return for all the days I come here." I slid my eyes away from his.

Then they went back to meeting his azure orbs as quickly as they went away when I heard him burst out laughing. "Oh please, Sakura! Why would you feel bad? I'm only doing my job."

I scowled playfully. "But I'm here everyday but the weekends!" I finished the last bite of my pancakes.

He returned my playful mood by saying, "Whatever." with a smile grazing his lips.

I got up from the small stool and swung my purse around my shoulder. "I'm going then, see you tomorrow!" And without waiting for his reply, I walked out of the door.

As soon as my form got out of the diner, I felt like I was stingingly slapped and cut in the face by the harsh cold weather, the wind just made things worse as it already was. I jogged-walked across the asphalt to my car; so happy that it was going to be warm in there. I got inside my car and started up the engine again, this time driving off to the Psychology Center. I can't believe I didn't even have the brain to bring a coat. Inwardly, I sighed.

I'm really proud of myself to be able to… be able to socialize with people still. But, once it really hits me, I mean, once it's just there and won't go away, I don't know what I'm going to do. It's probably going to haunt me until days end. Distraction is what I'll need; maybe I'll realize it never happened. We never got into a single fight. Mai was a slowly growing genius with no scarred images behind those breakable green eyes. She was never taken away from me. Sasuke's parents would still be alive. But that's not the way this world teaches you things. It teaches you in a painful manner. No matter how much I wish that it couldn't happen to me, it did. What did I ever do to… deserve this? I know I'm not any perfect angel; everyone sins. I've had a good share of sins. And so has Sasuke. Everyone has, like I just said. But I haven't made any world-traumatizing mistakes. I don't know. Maybe I'm just thinking to much. It's even starting to hurt my head.

Finally getting my mind fully set on the road ahead of me, I almost missed the Psychology Center. I swerved swiftly and smoothing into the parking lot. Getting out of the car (and again setting it's alarm, you never know…), I walked in the front door, to be greeted by the same receptionist.

"Um, I'm going to Kakashi-san's room… for an appointment. I'll be coming here all day," I told her awkwardly.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "Hatake-san is not here yet. You see, he's always late. I don't know how he keeps his job here, probably because he's the best in Konoha," she laughed a bit then speaking again. "Anyways, you'll need your own personal key to get in his room. Here," She dug around in a drawer before handing me a small silver key, which embed the room number on it: 204.

I grinned pleasantly at her. "Thank you." Now I know why he had said 'If I'm not in the room.'. So he was one to be late, I see. I'll have to try and break him of that habit.

I went up the stairs that I did yesterday. Then pressed the same elevator 'up' button that I had yesterday. This time, when the elevator doors opened, there was a woman in there. A forced a tight smile on my face, which she didn't even bother to return. Bitch. automatically ran through my head. The woman had… odd hair. It was ruby red, long on one side and cut short on the other. She had plain black glasses and striking red eyes that matched her hair. Her shirt was ugly. It was long sleeved with a slight collar, there was a zipper that let you unzip the whole shirt if you wanted, which I thought was totally disgusting. But she had left a good portion of the shirt unzipped, so it showed her bellybutton. Her bottoms, super short-shorts. And her "finishing touch", thigh-high boots. That is just… so unstylish and sickening. It looked like she just came off the streets.

But then something caught my eye; she was smirking. "What's so funny?" I asked her out of curiosity, not actually caring.

She looked over at me and sneered. "Why do you care?" Goddamn, what is this woman's problem with me? I've never even met her.

I arched a pink eyebrow. "I don't." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm just curious. Is it illegal to be curious?"

She snored. "No. But, it's rude to be nosey."

I frowned. "Well, I think it's even ruder to hate someone you've never even met,"

She let out one high-pitched sharp laugh. "You know absolutely nothing. I may know you, and you wouldn't even know who I was. I may know someone that was very close to you," It was like she was giving me some sort of hint.

My frown dipped even deeper. "What do you mean?"

And just then, the elevator bell rung. "Perfect," I muttered sarcastically.

She chuckled darkly. "I'll probably see you again."

I ignored her and shook my head, stepping out of the elevator. Well, that was weird. What an annoying woman. And I really didn't think she knew anyone that was 'close' to me. So, I just let the incident banish from my already clogged mind.

I walked four paces down the hall and pulled the key out from my pocket, then unlocked the door and stepped inside. As the polite receptionist said, he wasn't here. So, I'm hoping he wouldn't mind if I looked around a bit. On his desk, I saw a bright orange book, the spine of it read: Icha Icha Paradise. Hm, I've never heard of it. I snatched the book off the table and opened it. I skipped the first few useless pages, then turned to the page that lead to the first chapter. My eyes skimmed through the first paragraphs, then my cheeks turned a good color that matched my hair. He reads… porn? How…, how… perverted! I immediately closed the book and placed it back on the desk, where it belongs. After shaking off the disturbing stuff I just read, I looked at the other things on his desk. It was pretty messy; there were papers scattered along the desk's mahogany surface, a couple of pens and pencils accompanied with the book and papers. My eyes got tired of looking at the cluttered desk, so they slid down to what looked like a trashcan. A very, overfilled trashcan. Inside of it, there were some empty cups of cupped ramen (many of them, actually, which reminded me of Naruto), and more paper. I bent down and inspected it more carefully. I mean, what did all these papers have on them?

"You aren't snooping now, are you Sakura?" the voice of my therapist caught me back into reality. Then he muttered, "Hm. Nice view,"

I could just see him right now staring at my ass, which was currently in the air.

My senses came back to me and I yelped, then jumped back into my prior standing position. He must have had a good view, since I was wearing a damn skirt! Blood rushed to my cheeks as I turned around to face him. But instead of muttering a sorry or 'what the hell were you doing staring at my ass' these words seemed to come automatically out of my mouth: "You're late! Where or what the hell could you've been doing?!" I switched my weight to one foot, so one hip was jutted out, and crossed my arms over my breasts.

He chortled and walked past me and sat in his chair. "You see, I ran into an elderly woman that needed help being walked home, and I was the only one around to help her. That is the cause of my tardiness." he explained to me.

I turned around once again and raised a skeptical brow. "How come I don't believe you?" I smirked and shook my head while walking to the very comfortable couch.

He snorted and rolled his visible eye. "Moving on. Have made your decision yet?"

Oh yeah.

I almost forgot about that. He wanted me to decide whether I wanted to divorce Sasuke or not. I would have been able to decide, but he just had to run away with my daughter.

I felt my panic mold onto my facial features. "I-I don't know how to say this but…" I laughed bitterly, and I could already tell that my voice was going to crack. "When I came home last night, t-the house was empty. No one was there… not even Mai. He ran away. With my whole life in his hands, my daughter. I-I… don't know what to do," As expected, my voice had cracked, and near the end, it had raised up octaves for each word. I dry sobbed when no tears came out, burying my head into my hands.

There was a long silence before he spoke. "He took your daughter?" I nodded. "Did you tell him you were going to see a therapist before you left and came down here?" I shook my head weakly. "Well, did you ever think he just went out to look for you?"

I lifted my head again and looked at him. "No. He would've came back to the house. Plus he probably wouldn't have bothered taking Mai, since she seems like nothing to him." I choked on my last words.

He nodded his head gravely. "True, true." He pulled out a piece of paper and grabbed a pen off his desk and started writing.

After getting a hold of myself, I spoke again. "I do want to divorce him. That's my final answer. But I, now, I wouldn't know how… I mean, if I don't know where he is, how can he sign the contract papers?" It all just seemed really damned confusing to me.

I'm guessing he had to think a bit. Then, he answered, "We could always have Tsunade-sama send out the police looking for him," he looked up from his paper that he was writing on. "Would that sound good to you?"

I licked my lips, then sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and chewed on it. It didn't seem like it would be that simple. Go to Tsunade, get her to have police track down Sasuke and Mai, find them, and everything would be fine? That's just… way too impossible. But, it could be worth a try. "I'm very close to Tsunade-sama. She's like a second mom to me. So, I'm sure she be willing to try for me… it's just, it seems pretty doubtful."

He raised his silver eyebrow at me. "Does it now? All you have to do is have faith and hope."

I couldn't help from giggling.

He looked at me strangely. "What?" he asked.

I just smiled and shook my head. "You don't know how cheesy and cliché that sounded."

He grunted, and by the tone of his voice, I could tell he was smiling under that… mask-thing. "Hey, they can come in handy. Don't tell me you haven't used one?"

I glared at him jokingly. "Shut up." I murmured back in response. And before he or I could say another thing, my cell phone rang in my purse.

And once again, it was Naruto's caller ID. I flipped the phone open. "Hey Naruto. What do you need?" I was studying Kakashi's expression as I answered the phone. It had turned from slightly curious, to amused after I said 'Naruto'.

"Hi Sakura-chan! I wanted to know if you could go out to Ichiraku's with me and Hinata-chan," Of course he would call to ask that.

I made a slight hissing noise, indicating I couldn't, at least not at this exact moment. "I can't right now. I'm busy."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm at… therapy."

"Really? Who's your therapist?"

"Hatake Kakashi."

"…" There was a short moment of absolute silence. "You mean, porn-reading, grey-haired, masked Kakashi?!" he exclaimed in glee.

I laughed out loud. "Yes. He told me you knew him. So, how do you guys know each other?"

"He's ero-sennin's number one fan of Icha Icha."

"Oh, figures. Yeah, I found one of Jiraya's books on his desk today."

Kakashi visible perked up at the mention of Jiraya's name and the word 'book' in the same sentence. I just gave him a dark look in response. I'm really astonished I'm so comfortable with Kakashi already.

"Anyways, I still can't. Not even after this appointment. I can Saturday, if that's alright with you?" It was because I had to go to the hospital right after this, then go home (and probably take a nap), then go waitress at the café at six. Busy, busy.

I heard him sigh. "Yeah. But that's two days away…" he groaned.

"You'll live." Without another word being spoken, I hung up. He knew I was on a tight schedule, so it wouldn't hurt his feelings to hang up on him.

I smiled at Kakashi apologetically. "Sorry about that, if you know Naruto, you know he's one chatterbox."

He agreed by nodding. After that, we continued were we'd left off.

I moaned inwardly as I heard Tsunade call my name again. "Sakura! Come and take this chart! I'm sorry I'm giving you another one, but like I said, we're really busy!" And you think I haven't already noticed?

I walked sluggishly over to her and grabbed, yet another, patient chart. I already had three other ones! And do you know how hard it's going to be to keep checking on four damn patients? Really hard. Especially when I have one on this floor, another on the second floor, then another one on the top floor! Oh and look, this patient is on the bottom floor. I don't have the time to use the crowded elevators, so I have to run up and down stairs. Well, gee, I sure am getting some extra exercise today. The only reason it was really busy today is because our soldiers were coming back from the ongoing war, which was finally over.

I flipped open the chart as I started walking towards the patient's room. It looks like this one has a broken leg, a fractured ulna, and some other simple scratches and bruises. I walked in the small room, and saw that he was unconscious. There was a lot of bloodshed on him, so I pulled out some antiseptic wipes and started cleaning off the dried blood before I did anything else. After carefully cleaning off the blood on his face, I noticed he was quite handsome. He had chin-length brown hair, with some sort of cap covering the top of his head, it was tied. His face still young and boyish, but I could tell he was in his thirty's, which wasn't all too terribly old. Plus, hot damn, he had a good body… I glanced at the at the chart again and saw his name was Genma Shiranui. I wonder how long he's going to be out… I thought nonchalantly.

Sighing, I worked on his leg first, since it was the worst. Next, I patched it up. When the leg was nearly perfect, I then worked on the arm and did the same routine. It's good that he didn't have any internal organ damage. But, he was the worst one I've had overall today. Which was pretty lucky, for me.

Walking out of the room quietly, I paced down the hall and down two flights of stairs, to my first patient. It would become a routine to check on each patient, in the order I got each chart.

I was getting ready to go into the room, but my I bumped into a chest. Almost instantly, I realized my nose was buried in Tsunade's overly-large breasts. Blushing furiously, I backed away. "Sorry, Tsunade-shishou… Excuse me," I muttered embarrassedly.

She didn't let me go around her. "Sakura. All the soldiers have came in now. Go home, everything is fine. I've got someone to cover your patients. Plus, it's after six, don't you have to go work at you café?"

"Oh shit!" I cursed, even though this happened everyday. "Okay, see you tomorrow Tsunade-shishou!" With that, I sprinted down the hall and out the hospital doors.

Whenever I turned on my car, I saw it was six-thirty. I really, really hope my manager will forgive me, again! Almost ever since I got hired to work at the hospital, I have been late to the café.

I was proud of myself as I pulled into the parking lot of the café. I didn't drive over the speed limit this time. I pulled off my medic coat and got out of the car, closing the door with a loud slam. I practically ran inside the café, up until I was panting.

As soon as I entered, I was on my was to the back room to get my 'required' outfit, when my boss' voice made me stop in mid-step. "Sakura."

I walked into his office and saw him leaning back in his chair, his face completely serious. "I'm so, so sorry I'm late… it was really busy at the—" I started to tell him, but he interrupted me.

"I don't want to hear the same excuses over and over again. I'm tired of you always being late! And I'm afraid to say I haven't been able to give you enough hours. I got my ass bitten off about how this place is going down the rut, because of you! I almost got fired!"

My eyes widened. "I'm—"

He slammed his hands hard onto the table, knocking some stuff over. "No! I don't want to hear your voice anymore! You're fired!"

"But—"

"Get out!"

His harsh, uncaring words had brought tears to my eyes. I turned on my heel and briskly walked out of his office, then out of the café. I wouldn't cry, at least not right now. That's what the inside of my car is for. My shaky hands scrambled inside my purse, looking for my phone. As my fingertips felt its smooth surface, I brought it out and dialed Ino's phone number.

After two rings, she answered. "Hi, Sakura!" she chirped brightly in my ear.

I took a deep breath. "Hi, Ino. I wanted to ask you something,"

"Forehead, why are you crying? And what do you wanna ask me? Shoot away!"

"Ino, I just lost my job. At the café." I paused, deciding whether or not to tell her what happened with Sasuke and I. She is one of my best friends, so I guess she has the right to know. "And something happened between me and Sasuke."

I heard her gasp. "What? What happened? Tell me!" she shrieked.

I laughed. "Calm down, already. What I wanted to ask you is, can we go out? To the pub? I haven't been able to go out in so long. And I just wanted to… get everything off my mind and be able to let loose." my voice was slightly pleading.

"You know what the answer is to that! Of course! As long as you tell me what happened. Wait. Don't you have to work tomorrow?"

"I'll call in sick. I don't care. Also, can I borrow something of your's to wear?" I wanted to make myself feel, not pretty, but sexy tonight. I want men looking at me. It may be a gross thought, but I want to feel good tonight. Confident.

"Sure, you can come over right now and pick out something. If you want," she offered.

I bit my lip. "Yeah, I'll be over there in a few. Bye, Ino! Thanks, a lot!"

"Bye, Sakura."

I hung up my phone, then started driving towards Ino's apartment complex. What should I pick out? I don't know of the clothes she has. And knowing her, they would probably be short, low-cut, and tight fitting. I don't know if I'd want a pair of shorts with a simple tank top, but that'd seem too simple. Maybe a dress could work, seeing now that I wasn't breast-less. So Ino and I fit into each others clothes perfectly. Hm… I'll have to ask her if I can wear a pair of her stilettos, too.

I smiled happily as I reached Ino's apartment complex. Almost jumping out of the car fueled with excitement, I walked up some stairs, and knocked on her door. A few seconds later, she opened the door and invited me in.

"I think I have an outfit for you that you'd like!" she exclaimed as we treaded in her room.

Her room was clean, aside from the clothes that were sprawled atop of her large bed. I saw a cute green sleeved dress, and a some red ones…

"Sakura! Are you even listening to me?" the overly energetic blonde sent me an annoyed look over her shoulder.

"Oh, no. Gomen, Ino." I smiled bashfully. "What were you saying?"

She sighed. "I was saying, I think you need to take a break from the green and red all the time. I mean, those are the colors you usually wear whenever we go out."

I cocked my head to the side. "Really? But those are my favorite colors."

She grinned wickedly at me. "Yeah, yeah. But, I want to see how you would look in a black dress!" She looked through some hangers in her large closet and picked one out.

The dress would stop at about mid-thigh, it was backless, it had thick straps that cut into a —very— low v, with a leathery look. Simple, but sexy. A pair of silver or black stilettos would finish it off.

"Oh my God, Ino! I love it!" I cried joyfully, clasping my hands together tightly.

Ino winked and stuck her tongue out at me. "I knew you would."

I rolled my eyes, the grin still plastered onto my face. "And before I forget, I need a pair of stilettos, woman!"

She gestured her hands in front of her. "Okay, okay. I got plenty."

I just squealed in delight.

"Trust me, Sakura, before you step out of this apartment, I'll make you look so sexy, that women will want to go lesbian for you." she promised.

I made a face of disgust. "Well, that sure is something I'd want to think about," I replied sarcastically.

Ino giggled and threw me a pair of sleek, black stilettos. "Now, throw your clothes on so I can go do your makeup!" she ordered me.

I complied and slipped in the black dress. I noticed it was very tight fitting (like most of Ino's clothes), especially around my breasts, so it could make them push up, making them look more full and round. It also showed off my hourglass figure, which was a plus. Then, I put on the stilettos.

"Ah! You look so good in it!" Ino complimented. "Now, makeup time! I don't plan on using a whole lot, definitely some eyeliner, and some lip gloss. That's it basically." She took a hold of my shoulders and led me to her bathroom.

Ino only added the makeup she said she'd use, some black eyeliner and clear lip gloss. After she added makeup to herself, I said, "Who's car do you want to take?"

She looked at me sarcastically. "Your's, of course. Mine looks like a piece of shit compared next to your's, which it is."

"Alright, alright."

Song: Diluted. Artist: Slipknot.

Lyrics: I'm cold, I'm ugly/ I'm always confused by everything/ I stare into a thousand eyes/ But every smile hides a bold faced lie/ It itches, it seethes, it festers and breathes/ My hero's are dead, they died in my head/ Thin out the head, squeeze out the pain/ Something inside me has opened up again/ Thoughts of exemplified all the little flaws I have denied/ Forget today, forget whatever happened/ Everyday I see a little more of overall deficiencies/ I'm nothing short of being one complete catastrophe/ What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?/ I save all the bullets from ignorant minds/ Your insults get stuck in my teeth as they grind/ Way past good taste, on our way to bad omens/ I decrease, while my symptoms increase/ God what the fuck is wrong/ You act like you knew it all along/ Your timing sucks, your silence is a blessing/ All I ever wanted out of you was/ Something that could never be real/ Now take a real good look at/ What you've fucking done to me/ What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?/ Give me any reason why I need you/ Give me any reason not to fuck you up/ I see you in me/ I keep my scars from prying eyes/ Incapable of knowing why/ Somebody breathe I've got to have an answer/ Why am I so fascinated by/ Bigger pictures, better things/ But I don't even care what you think/ You'll never understand me/ What the hell did I do to deserve all of this?/ Fuck!

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. And those are some long freaking lyrics, aren't they?

Thanks for reading! I'll try to update soon (even if school's a bitch). Critique is appreciated.