Words Can't Explain

Three: Weightless.

A/N: Sorry for the horrible delay. Haven't found a good muse.

Sakura POV

Ino and I had left her apartment shortly, then getting in my car. "Dammit, Ino! I should have remembered to bring a coat. It's so fucking cold out there!" I whined as I shivered slightly.

She rubbed her upper arms. "I know,"

As soon as the car was on, I put the heater on full power. Ino and I both groaned in pleasure. After that, silence filled the car. Out of the corner of my eye, I say Ino jump and smirk largely. What is she up to this time…? It obviously couldn't be good.

"Sakura," she called out slowly. "I thought of it first!" she cried out happily.

Shit.

No way. I always thought of it first! Always! There's a game we always play, it's just like Truth or Dare, but just Dare. And it's not any innocent dare. The thing is, she gets to do as many dares as she wants to, until we get out of the pub. I usually make Ino have a major make-out session with either the ugliest guy in the room, or the fattest. I've even made her make-out with a girl, which was a show for all the guys. Oh boy, I've made her do a whole lot of things, since I usually always thought of it first. But now, it was her turn.

Tonight is going to be pure hell.

I ignored all of her elated bragging comments, then gulped deeply as we pulled into the full parking lot of the pub. When I said full, I literally meant full. There were only a few parking places left. After all, this was the most busy and popular pub in Konoha. Ino and I got out of the car at the same time, then started walking to the front doors, myself pouting the whole way.

"Do I have to humiliate myself? In front of all these people?" I begged, then jutting out my bottom lip again.

She snorted then threw me a short glare. "Do you honestly think I'm going to let you off the hook, when you made me embarrass myself so many times?" I knew she would say no…

I let my gaze slip to the ground. "But I've been having a bad couple of days… please, Ino?"

"No."

"Please!" I looked at her between the small gaps of my mascara coated eyelashes.

"NO!"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Humph. Fine then," I looked straight forward and my eyes caught a sign that read: NOW HIRING. No way… they're hiring here? I must be dreaming! I've always wanted to work here! "Ino! Look, look!" I pointed and smiled hysterically, just barely containing my excitement so I didn't start jumping up and down.

"What?" she looked over to where I was pointing and gasped. "Oh my god! You could so get a job here!"

I nodded eagerly. "I'll ask them more about it once we get inside, alright?" I reached out my hand, grasping the handle of the entrance doors.

I tugged on the door whenever she had said an, "Okay,"

My senses were caught off-guard as I inhaled deeply when I got inside the pub, the smell of cigarette smoke, alcohol, and sweat filling my nostrils, almost causing me to gag. Then there was the blaring music, pumping rhythmically in the club, keeping it lively. People were dancing, mingling, or just sitting at the bar enjoying their time here. Now, I just need to go ask the bartender about the sign out there. My eyes scanned the room, then finding the bartender. Ah, Ryuu. The bartender that I didn't particularly like. Only because he had to be the biggest Casanova in the world. It made his head even bigger when more than half of Konoha's women were lusting after him, too.

"Oh, great," I muttered in Ino's ear. "Look who's bartending tonight."

She glanced casually at the bar. "Ryuu?"

"Yeah. And I need to ask that douche about the sign," I whimpered helplessly. "Maybe I should just wait till his shift is over?" But I even knew he had the rest of the night shift.

She hissed between her teeth sympathetically. "That sucks for you, major. I would just go over there and get it over with,"

I nodded. "Can you help me? Just for tonight?" My eyes were big and round with hope.

Ino smiled brightly. "Of co—" she was cut off short, her face suddenly blanching. "Wait, no, sorry, I have to go pee!" She said it so fast that it sounded like one word.

Before I could even say 'Ino,' she already had ran off to the restrooms. "Dammit," I said under my breath, then turning around slowly, now only yards away from the bar area.

My steps towards the bar were slow and deliberate, then unfortunately, I slid into a stool as I made it there. I didn't even have to wait two minutes as I had already caught his attention. "Hey, Sakura. What can I get 'cha tonight, sweetheart?"

His sticky-sweet coated words sickened me. I forced a smile onto my features. "Um, I just wanted to know if they were still hiring here. I saw the sign on the door,"

His eyes darkened—not grimly—and a slow smile spread across his face. "Really, now? Well, if we weren't the sign wouldn't be out there. And I know the bar would accept you for the job they have for offer." he leant up on the counter, his dark blue gaze meeting my green one.

I cocked my head to the side. "What's the particular job they have?" I asked.

He chuckled. "An entertainer on top of the bar that I'm leaning on right here. A dancer," he finished.

I held back the shriek that threatened to burst out of my mouth. So a simple, "What?" came out instead. My fists unconsciously balled up tightly. "L-like a strip dancer?" I felt my cheeks flame lightly, adding a light pink coloration to them.

His dark eyes twinkled. "No, sadly. But all I know is, you have to wear very little clothing."

I pouted slightly. "Oh… but, I guess if you could kindly please get me an application, please?"

He grinned. "Of course, sweets."

"Just shut up and go," I remarked under my breath. My fingers laced together, and I sat and thought.

I don't know about this job… I mean, sure, I'd only be doing it for part time, but still. I don't really want a bunch of sleazy perverts drooling on my feet. But it would distract you. my conscious pointed out. Sasu—

A piece of paper being slid to me broke me of my thoughts. "Here ya go," Ryuu said nonchalantly.

I took the application. "Thanks," I muttered. I folded up the piece of paper and stuffed it inside my purse, then cover in my face with my hands.

And, thank god, Ino called my name before Ryuu could start talking to me again. "Ooh, Sa-ku-ra!" she spoke my name exaggeratingly in three syllables.

I could instantly tell she'd thought up something while she'd been going pee. "No, no, no…" I groaned before she plopped in a stool next to me.

When I peeked through my fingers, I saw a wicked grin pulling at the side of her lips. "You know, when I was walking out of the woman's bathrooms, I saw the most mysterious looking guy ever. But, god, I could tell he was handsome."—she used wild hand gestures while she was speaking—"He had the wildest silver hair ever, and some kind of weird mask." Please do not tell me she was possibly talking about…

I laughed nervously. "You did, huh?" my voice cracked tremendously, only because the person she was describing could only be: my shrink. Hatake Kakashi. I either felt asphyxiated or that I could be hyperventilating any second now. "And…?" was all I managed to get out, a small, whispered squeak.

"And," she cooed. "I know exactly what you should do to him,"—I gulped—"Lap dance." she finished, clapping her hands happily.

Lap dance? With my therapist?! "Please, Ino, no," It would be wrong in so many ways… was my unspoken message. "I know this man."

She gasped. "What?! Why haven't you told me? Sakura! How do you know him?" she asked me question after question.

I sighed angrily. "Okay, okay. Slow down! I haven't told you because I just met him two days ago. He's my… therapist." I explained slowly.

She nodded, her bright blue eyes eager. She quirked her lips to the side. "I didn't know you got a therapist," she huffed. "Why aren't you telling me things anymore?"

I made my voice even. "Because, he became my therapist only two days ago. Alright? No need to kill me." I crossed my arms over my chest, then tossing my head.

She snorted. "Fine," she started giggling again. "But, I'm still making you give him a lap dance."

I hung my head. Looks like I was going to lose this battle, so I might as well give up. "Okay, whatever." Let's just hope he's had enough to drink to where he doesn't recognize me. "Can I at least go to the bathroom first?" I needed to check up on my makeup anyways.

With a roll of her eyes, she said, "Of course, but don't leave him waiting!" she yelled as I made my course to the ladies room.

I entered inside of the restroom. A rush of sticky, humid heat smacked me in the face harshly, intensifying the revolting smell of the bathroom by two times. My nose scrunched up in disgust. I ignored the smell and made my way over to the mirror. I looked closely at my face. No matter how many layers of makeup I wore, it couldn't hide the dark rings under my eyes caused by lack of sleep. The white in my eyes were now replaced with red lines. My iris's were no longer a bright and cheerful green, but with a deep forest green, of which looked mournful. My lips were chapped, thin, and formed into a frown.

Ugly, was first word that came in mind. I hadn't been taking care of myself, and it was all because of one reason: the day Sasuke left with Mai. It's been haunting me. Why haven't I done anything? Instead, I was out drinking with Ino. Why haven't I told Tsunade? She could send out a search team for them. I just want my Mai back… But, until I can get divorced, I couldn't get her back. And I can't get divorced right now; if Sasuke's not here, it won't work. I can't do anything, except, like I said, send a search team. But, that'd just make things even worse than they are. All I could do is wait.

Realizing I'd been staring blankly at my reflection for the past three minutes, my senses came back to me and I walked out of the restroom. I took a deep breath, attempting to calm myself. Why, why did Ino have to do this to me? I just want to put a paper bag over my head.

With yet another sigh, and a good dose of determination, I walked back into the bar with confidence. My eyes searched the bar and dance floor, looking for a familiar head full of silver locks. After a few seconds, I found what I was looking for: Hatake Kakashi. I paced over to that area.

When I was only a few feet away from me, I was caught off guard by an unexpected sight: Kakashi, surrounded by many women. Not to mention beautiful women. "Oh god," I muttered inaudibly to myself.

There was no way I could get myself to give him a lap dance now. It was impossible, with all those women latching themselves on him like leeches. I felt a twinge of jealousy spark up in my insides.

What?

Jealously? No way. I couldn't possibly be jealous. Gah, I haven't even drank anything yet, either! What was wrong with me? Good lord, I already have too much going through my mind, I don't need something else.

My feet seemed to automatically track me back to Ino at the bar. I hung my head and sat next to her on a barstool. "Ino," I cried.

She looked at me, curiosity and concern painting her face. "What's wrong?" she asked.

I frowned. "He was surrounded by women." I said simply, not noticing the sadness that coated the words.

She blinked, then smirked. "Sounds like a womanizer to me," she laughed.

I fisted my hands into my hair. "Yeah, you're probably right…" I murmured.

"Hey! She'll take a nice n' warm sake." Ino called out to the bartender.

I grinned. "You see right through me,"

"Of course."

In the next half hour, I was bawling my eyes out. "Y-you"—hiccup—"don't get it, how much it hurts me… How useless I feel! It-it's all my fault."

Ino hugged me tightly. "Sakura, it's not your fault. You did nothing." she tried to tell me comfortingly.

I sobbed. "What do you mean, 'I did nothing,' if I wouldn't have picked so many fights with Sasuke, she'd still be here! Instead of myself getting wasted at a bar, I could be holding her here in my arms, lulling her to sleep." My hands were going crazy with hand gestures.

Ino shook her head slowly back and forth. "But, those 'fights' were practical. You needed to tell him how you really felt."

"I-I know… But still—"

"What's all the commotion here, ladies?"

I looked up in surprise, only to see my therapist—Kakashi. He had no women lusting after him, thankfully. And before I got a chance to speak, Ino beat me to it.

"Oh, well, Sakura here is having a hormonal moment." she grinned wickedly as I gawked at her.

He coughed into his fist abruptly. "Ah, women will have those moments, especially since she's intoxicated," he told us, then took a seat next to me.

Was he saying I was drunk? I don't really feel drunk yet… Maybe buzzed, but not drunk. "I'm not drunk," I protested.

"That's what they all say." said Kakashi.

Ino nodded and mumbled a little "Mm-hm."

"Lies!" I shouted. A few people surrounding us looked towards this area.

Kakashi chortled. "You know you're only proving the fact, right?"

Ino giggled as well and nodded.

I shook my head back and forth, but then groaned as it caused me to become dizzy. "Ugh, you're all wrong," I then hiccupped. God, I think I'm even agreeing with them now. I might as well stop trying to object… "I need some fresh air," I got up clumsily from my chair, then stumbled all the way to the door.

As soon as I got outside, I leaned on the brick wall behind me. The cold wind didn't bite me in the face as hard with the eave above me. But, somehow, it felt nice to have the chilly breeze wafting through the air. I closed my eyes and just breathed for awhile, clearing my mind.

The door suddenly opened next to me, sending a rush of heat outside. I cracked one eye open and glanced to see who was coming out. It was Kakashi.

"What do you want," I moaned, turning my face away from him.

"I'm here to take you home, dear. You're pretty tipsy to be driving home alone, anyways." he clarified.

I wailed quietly. "What about Ino? How will she get home?" I challenged.

"She's going to call a cab."

"Dammit,"

"You're doing quite a lot of moaning, do I make you that happy?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

I shrieked. "No, you pervert!"

He placed his hand over his heart. "Oh, Sakura-chan, you didn't have to be so mean about it," he next snaked an arm around my waist. "Now, let's get you home, young lady."

"Okay, dad." I grumbled sarcastically.

He helped me walk to my car, which I had to show him which one was my car. It took a bit of time because I couldn't remember where I parked. But, we eventually found it. He also helped me in the car, then walked around it and got in as well.

He was starting the engine, when he said: "Where's your house, Sakura?"

I blinked two times. I really didn't go back to my house… "Please, Kakashi, I don't want to go back to that horrid place."

"Why—oh," he suddenly realized why. "Then where are you going to stay?"

I shifted my gaze from his innocently. "Um, I don't know…"

"Can you go to Ino's?"

I flushed—remembering what Ino had told me earlier. "No, she told me she's having Sai over tonight."

"Any other friends? Like Naruto?"

"No… Him and Hinata live together. And they, er…"

He nodded sharply, cutting me off. "Well, you're not completely out of luck. I guess, do you want to stay at my apartment?"

My eyes widened in shock; I never thought he'd offer that. "If it's alright with you," I said meekly.

His visible eye crinkled. "Of course, Sakura." he said politely.

"Thanks," I muttered.

He nodded. "Anytime."

After that, we drove in an awkward silence. No radio, no talking. All that could be heard was the slight cooling breeze coming from the open window. Trying to make things less awkward, I gazed out my window thoughtfully. The stars were bright tonight, which I'm happy to see—hence, they were usually covered with clouds. I swear, one minute Konoha was the most beautiful place to me, then the next minutes it's the most ugly and defile place ever. I suppose it has it's places that I adore and detest.

"We're here, Sakura," his voice suddenly called, catching me off guard.

I hiccoughed abruptly. "O-okay,"

He got out of the car then appeared by my side once again, opening up the door for me and helping me out of the car. "You know," I started.

"What?" He asked curiously, turning to look at me.

"Ino dared me to give you a lap dance." I burst out giggling near the end.

His face paled and he blinked repeatedly. I think I saw him swallow hardly. "Ino has some cruel, cruel sense of humor then," he laughed dryly.

I laughed with him. "True. Hey… I'm getting a little bit sleepy… can I…" Before I got to say, 'go to sleep,' I fell on ground.

Kakashi smiled to himself and shook his head.

When I woke up, I found a nice warm blanked wrapped around my form, and a pillow behind my head—oh, and a pierce-straight-through-your-brain headache as well. There was also something else on my forehead. I dumbly smacked my hand down on my forehead.

"Ow, god!" I moaned loudly.

I soon found out that it was a post-it note on my forehead. It had read:

Sakura-chan,

I have left for work. Feel free to have any breakfast at my apartment—if you can find any. Otherwise, it might be moldy. Oh well. Come by for your appointment anytime.

x,

Kakashi.

The first thing that came to mind was: moldy? Jeez, how often did this man clean out his cabinets? Ugh. I'll just go out and get some tea and rice—if I can manage to get off the couch, of course.

With a sigh, I lugged myself lethargically off the cough. My stomach flipped uneasily. I hardly ever drink nowadays, so I'm not very used to hangovers. Now, they seem so familiar. My head pulsed in pain every single movement I made, which was quite annoying, mind you. First I'll have to go to my house to get a shower and a change of clothes. Maybe I should get some extra pairs of clothes Ino let me stay at her place. Well, for now, I'll decide against it until I get some official permission.

Jumping in and out of the shower, I threw on a plaid long-sleeved button up shirt, and a pair of black skinny jeans, finishing off with a pair of ankle-boots. I just put my hair into a messy bun, leaving a few strands down—quick, but stylish. I didn't even bother with makeup. Before leaving the house, I took a good dose of pain relieving aspirin, then headed to the Konoha Psychology Center. I hope I didn't act like too much of an idiot in front of Kakashi last night, he was somebody I just met. I didn't want to give him a bad impression.

I bet I did though, and things would probably never be right between us. What was I thinking? My thinking has been so cloudy and…unintelligent lately. Why am I not thinking about Mai? No, I'm only thinking of myself. I'm getting therapy, when I should really be getting a search team for my pride, my everything, Mai. What is wrong with me? I'm horrible.

I pulled up into the Psychology center. I dragged myself out of the car, put my keys in my purse, and checked myself in. This would be the last thing I'm doing for myself.

Next step: Get a fucking search team.

Song: Weightless. Artist: All Time Low.

Lyrics: Manage me, I'm a mess/ Turn a page, I'm a book/ Half Unread/ I wanna be laughed at/ Laughed with, just because/ I wanna feel weightless/ And that should be enough/ Now I'm stuck in this fucking rut/ Waiting on a secondhand pick me up/ And I'm over, getting older/ If I could just find the time/ Then I would never let another day go by/ I'm over, getting older/ Maybe it's not my weekend/ But it's gonna be my year/ And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere/ And this is my reaction/ To everything I fear/ Cause I've been going crazy I don't want to waste another minute here/ Make believe that I impress/ That every word/ By design/ Turns a head/ I wanna feel reckless/ Wanna live it up, just because/ I wanna feel weightless/ Cause that would be enough/ If I could find the time/ I'd never let another day go by/ I'm over, getting old/ Maybe it's not my weekend/ But it's going to be my year/ And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere/ And this is my reaction/ To everything I fear/ Cause I've been going crazy, I don't want to waste another minute here/ This could be all I've waited for/ (I've Waited, I've waited for)/ And this could be everything/ I don't want to dream anymore/ Maybe it's not my weekend/ But it's going to be my year/ And I've been going crazy/ I'm stuck in here/ Maybe it's not my weekend/ But it's gonna be my year/ (It's Gonna be my year)/ And I'm so sick of watching while the minutes pass as I go nowhere/ (Go nowhere)/ And this is my reaction/ To everything I fear/ (Everything I fear)/ Cause I've been going crazy, I don't wanna waste another minute here/