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I hear the bars close
That unmistakable slam
Sealing me inside this square hell
I'm caged like an animal
And treated as well
Santana's POV
Turns out most people piss themselves when they get tazered and I was no exception. I woke up on this metal table that was welded to the wall. The cops like to refer to it as a bed but it's more like an autopsy table. My clothes are nowhere to be found and instead I'm in an orange jail issued jumpsuit. I'm also wearing this damn sports bra that gives the illusion that I have a uni boob. How the fuck did this happen? I've been doing illegal shit my whole life and they catch me when things are actually looking up. Britt must be so mad at me. I wonder if she even knows where I am?
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Brittany's POV
Where the fuck is Santana? It's almost midnight and she's been gone since noon. I heard the block got raided earlier and I hope she's not in jail. I have to call Quinn. Just as I'm about to pick up my cell I hear a knock on the door. I rush down the steps and see the last thing I ever thought I would see. Crazy Rachel.
"Brittany, Barbra and I have some unfortunate news for you. May we come in?"
I motion for her to come in and we sit on San's living room couch.
"As you may know the block was raided today."
I nod urging her to get the fuck on with it.
"I saw Santana running and I grabbed her gun from a trashcan before they came back to find it but I never saw her again. Barbra is pretty sure she's been arrested."
No. No. No. This can't be true. I feel like I'm gonna faint. I have to get to Q.
Rachel just gets up and leaves once she tells me the news and I search frantically for my cell phone. It only rings once and Quinn's voice comes on to the line.
"Britt don't freak out ok? But I'm her emergency contact and the jail just called. It's not looking good. They caught her with almost 50 bags."
I drop to my knees. This can't be fucking happening. She was doing this for all of us and she gets thrown in jail. She only had one more fucking day of being on the streets and Ty was gonna be back. Why does life keep fucking this girl?
"W-when can she come home Q? When can I see my baby girl? I want to see her!"
My sobs can no longer be controlled. This hurts too much.
"I-I don't know Britt. They're holding her until her court date because she's a flight risk."
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Santana's POV
There's just something wrong about washing my face in a metal sink that's connected to an equally gross and metal toilet. Like how can the sink be on top of the back of the toilet and not use the same water? Whatever at least I have my own cell in the police station for the time being. A cop strolls by and I decide to yell at him. I want my fucking phone call. I walk up to the bars and wrap my fingers around the cool metal.
"Yo! I want my phone call now!"
He shakes his head and opens my cell with a key ring that could rival a janitor's. The officer cuffs my hands for some fucking reason and leads me over to a desk with an old ass phone on it. I have to tuck the phone between my shoulder and head while I use my cuffed hands to dial the only number I have memorized.
"Hello."
"Hey baby it's me."
"Oh San."
I hear her try to control her crying. I feel like shit. I'm making her sad because I fucked up.
"I'm so sorry baby. Please don't hate me."
"I could never hate you Tana. I'm just so worried about you. Q told me everything she knows. Are they gonna raid the house?"
"No it's under Puck's name for this exact reason. I love you baby but I need to talk to Q. Is she with you?"
I hear shuffling on the other end and then someone take a deep breath.
"Tana you're in deep shit."
"I know Q, I know. But I need you to go into the basement. There's a tile in the green room that comes up and it has all my money in it. I need you to get me a lawyer and take care of everyone ok? I don't know when I'll be out and I trust you the most with all this shit, I don't wanna put that pressure on B she can't handle it."
"Ok. We're gonna get you out San I love you. Here's B again."
"I love you so, so much Tana. I feel like my body doesn't work correctly without you."
"I know baby I love you too. I always will. But hey their making me get off the phone now. Be strong baby."
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Quinn's POV
After Santana called Britt fell to pieces and cried herself to sleep. I know she's gonna be gone for a while but Britt still has this false hope that she's going to get out of it. I figure while everyone is asleep I'll go find the money stash in the basement.
I pick up the tile on the floor that has a crack in it and find a shit load of cash in a plastic bag with a piece of paper on top. On top of the paper she wrote, California. Underneath the heading is all our names and cash amounts next to them. Like, literally all our names, even Sugar is on there. She was saving extra to take all of us with her. She wanted to get all of us out of this slum. Damn why does this world always sweep her feet out from under her?
I grab about ten thousand for her lawyer and lock up the rest. We love her and all but the fiend in us is bound to take over and I don't want anyone else knowing about this.
I make my way upstairs and see Puck crying at the kitchen table. He never cries so I know he must've found out about San. After I put the money on the kitchen counter I wrap my arms around him. San was right I'm gonna have to hold it together for all of them.
"Shh. It's gonna be ok Puck. We're gonna get her out of this."
He's shaking now from the strength of the sobs tearing through him. I've never seen him so upset.
"S-she's always taking care of all of us and I couldn't do anything to help her! I…I can't do anything."
I pull up a chair and pull out the last bundle San sold me. I made her let me pay for it even though she only let me pay 20 bucks. She's too good for this world. Puck pulls out an 8 ball of coke and we go to town drowning our worries in powder. San's probably starting to withdrawal now, poor thing. I went through that in jail a couple times when I got caught for soliciting and it's not fun at all. Everything there is cold and uncomfortable already, add being dope sick to that and it's literally hell.
It's about 7AM now so I should probably wake Santos up for school, that is, if he still wants to go. It sucks that they only had a couple months to be together again after being held at Finn's.
I knock on the door and it opens a bit to show that Santi is already up and sitting in bed. He looks like shit but anyone would in this situation. I know he's not gonna talk to me, he's much like his sister in that aspect, so I just hold him as silent tears cascade down his face.
"You don't have to go to school today if that's what you want."
"N-no I have to do something. If I… If I stay here all day I'll drive myself crazy."
He pushes me off and puts on the infamous Lopez mask that tells the world there's nothing wrong. It's his last day of summer classes and then he gets a week off until he starts his junior year. I know he wants Santana but I'm going to be there for him as the sister I was years ago and still am.
We get into Santana's camaro and it's so hard to smell her everywhere. The dash has a filmstrip of her and Britt from the arcade we went to the other day. I make a mental note to bring that to her along with her journal so she has something in that shit hole. I hold it together until Santos gets out of the car. As soon as he enters the doors I take a moment to break down where no one can see me. I have to be strong like her to keep everyone safe and I honestly don't know how she did it. I want my sister back too.
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Santana's POV
It's so cold in here but I'm sweating at the same time. I'm dope sick and it's a tease to know that if I was home I could bathe in heroin if I wanted. I have no blanket and no pillow just this damn cold metal bed and the jumpsuit they gave me. I go to court tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to stand in front of them when I'm shitting my brains out every five minutes. My arms and legs are begging to be cut off. Every nerve in my body is yelling at me to give them what they need and I can't.
I'm grinding my teeth so hard I'm surprised I have any left. This must be what dying and ending up in limbo feels like. Restless but tired. Cold but sweating. Painful and debilitating cramps. Holding cells are the worst because you're in between in the system and they don't let you have personal items. I spent a couple months in jail for assault before and the holding cells are always horrible. At least in actual lock up you get a bed with a mattress.
I hear the tell tale signs of my cell opening and they tell me to stand up so they can cuff me. I can barely walk and the officer is telling me I smell like shit. If he didn't have a uniform on I would've kicked him in the balls. He leads me into a room where a man in a very expensive suit sits at the metal table. Q did good. It seems she got the best lawyer in Philly. He has black extremely slicked back hair and eyebrows that could rival a muppet but his smile warms my freezing body.
I sit down and he pulls out a file with my name on it. Shit just got real.
"Hi Miss Lopez. I'm Blaine Anderson. You're friend called me to manage your case. How are you making out here?"
Really how am I doing? Isn't it fucking obvious?
"Well they have awesome room service here. They even slide it under the bars for me."
He doesn't falter, not one bit. I guess he's used to ass holes in jail.
"I understand, that was a dumb question. Let's get to work here. The DA has offered you a plea bargain. If you plead guilty they will drop the sentence from 5 years to 2. Also they will drop the charges for assaulting and evading an officer."
Two fucking years! I guess it's better than 5. Fuck I'm not going to be able to hold Britt for two years. Santos is gonna turn 18 without me. He's gonna graduate and I'm not going to be there to see it. Q's gonna go crazy trying to help everyone. But it's better than 5 years.
"Ok sir. I'll do it."
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"Case number 387-283. Santana Lopez Vs. The state."
Brittany, Quinn, Puck, Holly, and Santos sit in the back of the court room as they watch a frail Santana shuffle into the room lead by two huge cops. Her arms and legs are shackled and she looks far too pale for a Latina. They can all see the sweat on her forehead giving away the fact that she's extremely dope sick.
She makes her way to the front of the room and stands beside her lawyer with her head held high despite the fact that her body wants to keel over and die.
"Miss Lopez you have been charged with felony possession of Heroin, evading police, and assault on an officer."
"Yes sir."
"The DA has given you a plea bargain and will drop the last two charges and lower the main charge are we clear?"
Santana drops her head. It's going to kill everyone in that room when she pleads guilty but she had no other choice.
"Yes your honor."
Everyone in the back holds their breath for the last part. Quinn squeezes Brittany and Santos' hands to try and help just a little bit. Puck wants to steal a cop's gun and shoot the whole place up so they can all escape to Mexico. Holly wishes she never taught her how to cook.
"How do you plead?"
Her head drops as she prepares to utter the one word that will send her away from everything she loves. She has to keep it together for them, she always has.
"Guilty."
There's a loud gasp that comes from the back of the room. She doesn't look but she can tell Brittany is falling apart.
"You will serve 2 years without parole at Eagleville State Prison."
The judge bangs his gavel and everyone rises. Brittany loses it and Santos has to help her stand up straight.
She keeps chanting over and over. "No, no, no, no."
The officers usher Santana past her friends and family but she's in search of her favorite blue eyes. Finally brown meets blue and everything seems to slow down. A single tear flows down the latina's cheek. She's going away for two years and won't see those blue eyes in the sun again until she gets out.
Brittany breaks free of Quinn's hold and runs towards her girlfriend. She makes it to Santana and kisses her with everything she has.
"I love you Tana. I'll wait for as long as it takes. I love you so much!"
The guards pull Brittany away from her and Santana struggles to remain in her girlfriend's embrace. The policeman now has her by the waist as her shackles clink together from her struggle.
"I love you baby! I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry!"
San doesn't care that she looks like a complete fucking pussy right now. She's sick and everything she loves has been taken from her. Yeah, she knows what she did is illegal but it still hurts as much when the gavel comes down and two years of her life are taken away.
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"Artie I need my job back."
"Sure thing Britt, the guys missed you. Can you start tonight?"
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Santana walks down the cell block as nasty bitches hoot and holler at the fresh meat. She's been here before but not for years at a time. She's still withdrawing and just wants to lay the fuck down.
The guard hands her a pillow and a blanket and tells her the deal.
"You will be known as prisoner 30327. Warden Sylvester will meet with you in a week."
He pushes her into the open cell where another Latina resides on the bottom bunk reading a book. She pays her no mind and climbs up to her bed to rest her muscles. The other girl has other ideas. She stands on the bottom bunk and rests her elbows on Santana's bed, looking her straight in the eye.
"You dope sick?"
"What's it to you?"
The other girl hops down and reaches through a hole in her mattress. She pulls out a bag of dope that ironically has the stamp "Blue" on it. She shakes it in front of San's face and her whole body craves it just that much more at the sight of the heavenly powder.
"Give me your fist."
Santana's a little apprehensive. She knows nothing is free in jail and doesn't want to end up being this chick's bitch for dope.
"I know you're not giving this to me out of the kindness of your heart so what do you want?"
The other girl chuckles dryly as she grabs Santana's hand and pours a bump out.
"I just don't want you shitting every ten minutes in a room I have to sit in. I'm Rosa by the way."
San snorts the bump and waits for relief to come.
"Santana."
Rosa's eyes squint in contemplation for a moment before she speaks.
"Santana Lopez?"
"Yea, how the fuck do you know my name?"
Rosa does her own line before sitting at the desk chair in the corner.
"Well for one I know you cook this shit. Seems like everyone does except the pigs." She laughs. "And secondly this lady talks about you all the time. Says she regrets leaving you and your brother or some shit."
Santana's freaked out. This lady couldn't be her mother could she? If she is she's gonna make a shank and stab the shit out of her.
"How do you get dope in here?"
Santana finally feels better and sits up on her bed. Rosa contemplates telling her the truth but figures she can be trusted since she makes the best heroin in the state.
"That lady I was telling you about. Gloria. She has connections with the guards and gets it in somehow. You can get a bundle for a carton of cigs or get someone to put money on her books."
Well shit. Santana thinks, she's gonna have to meet this lady afterall. She's gonna have to pay someone for the dope she makes.
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Brittany's POV
This house is too quiet without her. This bed is too cold and the dope I'm doing just makes me think about how she's sick in a cold cell with no one to hold her. Holly has been in the lab cooking up more stuff so the streets don't go crazy and so we don't run out of dope ourselves. Santos went straight up to his room when he came home and refuses to talk to anyone. I don't blame him. Puck feels guilty. He was a couple blocks over when he saw the cops heading towards Indiana street. He tried to call her to warn her but she never answered. He ran as fast as he could but by the time he got to the block it was swarmed with cops.
Quinn seems the same. Even though I know she's not. She's just trying to keep it together for all of us. I know San told her to do so. I just wish she would talk to me instead of holding it all in until she explodes. San's not allowed visitors for the first week she's there and it makes it even harder because the jail is only an hour away.
It's killing me to sit in her room and smell her everywhere but I can't touch her. I can't listen to her call me Sweets and I can't stare into her chocolate brown eyes. It's been a day and I feel like I'm dying inside already. How am I supposed to make it two years?
Someone knocks on the door and I yell for them to come in. Q shuffles in wearing a mask of indifference. Wordlessly she pulls a bunch of dope bags out of her pocket and pours them onto the end table. She motions for me to kneel beside her and we silently snort the lines she laid out. She leans back and grabs Santana's journal. She pulls the strip of pictures we took at the arcade out of her pocket and places them inside the pages.
"I just got my sister back and now she's gone again. She's gone and I can't do anything to help her."
I bring her into the bed so she can take comfort in being surrounded by Santana too. I lay beside her and she rests her head on my chest. I wouldn't know she was crying if her tears weren't soaking through one of San's shirts I put on earlier. I feel like everything is going to fall apart without her here. We all need her in some way but we're trying to be strong. At least we have each other, San's in jail with no one to hold her at night and no one to tell her she's loved. But I'll write her everyday if it means she can at least read the way I feel. I'd wait for her for 50 years if that's what she was in for. Ever since the day I met her I felt like there was never a me before there was a her.
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Santana's POV
I thought Puck's snoring was fucking bad but Rosa sounds like a wood chipper when she sleeps. She's been oddly nice to me and I hope she doesn't expect to fuck because my vagina belongs to Brittany. I'll rub up against the bars of our cell before I fuck anyone in here.
It's been a week and I can have visitors as soon as I meet with the bitch of a warden and get cleared. Rosa's been sharing her dope with me until I can get money on my books. I need to call Quinn and get her down here. For some reason I don't know if I want Britt to see me here. I don't want her to walk in and see the shit hole that is now my home.
"30327 you have a meeting with the warden get the fuck up."
I stand up and put my wrists through the slot in the cell door so I can get cuffed for the millionth time in a week. The husky bitch of a guard leads me through the cellblock and I'm looked at like a piece of meat. From my short stints in this place I know the deal. Never cry and never put your head down. I square up my shoulders and look ahead to let these bitches know you don't fuck with me.
The door to the office opens and I'm met with a short haired blonde that obviously thinks she's the shit. I hate her already.
"Santana Lopez. I've heard all about you. You've gotten a lot of people here hooked on the shit you make. Of course there's no way to prove you provide all of Philly with heroin but I know the truth. Uncuff her I need to do a strip search."
The butch ass guard releases me and leaves the room. This is going to be so fucking fun.
"You know the drill strip down."
"Isn't this usually done in a room full of guards?"
She pulls out her night stick and slams it down on her desk. Fuck I managed to piss her off within 5 minutes.
"Don't question me you piece of trash! Now strip down!"
I wanna choke this bitch but I have to be good so maybe I can get out early for good behavior. I slowly unzip the front of my gorgeous orange jumpsuit while I kick off my slip on shoes. The jumpsuit pools around my ankles leaving me in prison issued black panties and sports bra. God forbid we had normal bras and someone made a shank of the underwire. Eventually I'm standing naked in front of her and she's circling around me like I'm prey.
The bitch pushes me over to her desk and forces me to bend over on top of it. I've never had a woman make me feel like this and it's an odd feeling. It's making me feel like Ricky's hands are all over me. I hear the snap of latex gloves and my body automatically stiffens. She comes behind me and spreads my cheeks so she can see inside. This is fucking embarrassing. When she's sure I don't have a meth lab shoved up my ass she releases her hold and slaps my ass. I wanna kill this bitch.
"Now squat and cough so I can make sure there's nothing up that loose pussy of yours. I know you Mexicans start having babies at the age of 10."
Why does everyone always think I'm Mexican? I do as I'm told and pass with flying colors. I think she's mad she didn't find anything.
"Ok Lopez now get the fuck out of my sight before I beat you and get away with it."
The guard cuffs me again and she tells me I can make a phone call.
"Hello."
"Hey baby it's me. I miss you."
I hear crying on the other line and it hurts so bad not to be able to hold her.
"I-I miss you so much Tana. You're on speaker. Q's here too."
"Cool. I can have visitors now. And I understand if you don't wanna come here B but I need Q to drop me off some shit and put money on my books."
"What do you need me to bring?"
"I need my journal, a shit load of cigarettes, and I need you to put money on Gloria Vega's books."
"Who the fuck is that?"
"I'll tell you when you get here they record this shit."
"Alright I'll be there tomorrow. Here's B again. I love you San."
"Love you too Q."
There's sniffling on the other end and I can tell B's trying to hold it together. Why did she have to fall in love with such a fuck up like me?
"Tana I wish you could hold me."
"Me too baby, me too. But I gotta make this quick because they're telling me I gotta go. I love you baby so, so much. Stay safe ok?"
"I love you too Tana. Forever and always."
"Forever and always Sweets."
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"Lopez, visitor!"
I hop down off the top bunk and accidentally wake Rosa. Oops. My hands are cuffed once again and they lead me down to the visiting rooms. I'm not sure if I'm excited or scared to see Quinn. Seeing her makes this all a little more real. I'm shocked when they open the door and I see not one but two blondes waiting for me. Fuck I don't know if I can see her and not be able to hold her. This is too damn much.
I sit down at the metal table and they take my cuffed hands and attach them to a long chain that's welded to the table. They both look up and I can tell they don't know what to say. So I decide to speak first.
"What's up?" Really Santana?
At least that gets them to chuckle a bit.
"I miss you Tana." Britt says and she reaches over to touch my hand but before she can make contact a guard yells.
"No touching!"
I see my girlfriend pout and I wanna kick that guards ass for yelling at her. I give her a weak smile and turn to Quinn.
"I did everything you asked. I dropped the journal off at the front desk and it should be in your cell by the time you get back. I put a little gift in there for you too."
"Thanks Q. How's Ti doing? I know he's a hard head like me but I know he cries when he's alone. So just keep a look out for him alright?"
I know she wants to ask how I'm doing but I give her a stern look because I don't want to lie to her and say I'm fucking peachy.
"He's ok. We're all trying to adjust. Holly's been in the lab keeping up with everything and Ty's back on Indi. You're beds comfortable by the way."
I decide to fuck with her because I need something to laugh about in here.
"You fuckin my girl in my bed Q?"
Britt plays along with me.
"Yeah but she can't do that thing with her tongue like you do."
Quinn's eyes bulge out of her head and I laugh for the first time in weeks.
"Gross guys, I love dick too much for all that."
We talk for a bit more and I tell them about Rosa and how nice she's been. Britt tells me she went and got her job back and I'm not too happy about it. There's more than enough money in my stash but as usual she doesn't want to free load off of me. I let them know about Gloria and how ironic it is that I have to buy my own dope. I get lost in our conversation and before I know it the guard is coming over to take me back to my cell.
"I love you guys so much. Be safe ok?"
They nod and it hurts so bad that I can't kiss Britt or hug Quinn when I'm lead out of the room. It might just be easier if I don't see anyone until I get out.
As expected my cigs and notebook are on my bed when I come back. Rosa already opened a carton because I promised to pay her back for all the dope she shared with me. At least I have a friend in here. I pick up my notebook when I see something rectangular sticking out of it. I pull out the piece of paper and when I flip it around I almost let myself cry. It's the picture strip from the photo booth. Q must have seen it in my car and put it in with my stuff. That's why she's my sister. She knows little things like this will get me through.
Rosa comes up behind me and looks at the photo in my hands. She smiles knowingly and pats me on the back.
"Girlfriend?"
"The love of my life."
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It's time to go down to the mess hall to eat what they like to call food. I stand in line with my metal tray and wait for the slop and bread to be shoveled out. I find Rosa and we sit at our usual table around bitches I don't care to know.
I'm minding my own damn business when an older woman, about 40, sits across from me. She looks oddly familiar but I dismiss the notion. I've never seen this bitch in my life. I feel a tap on my knee under the table and I look down to where she's holding a bundle. I quickly grab it and shove it in my bra before the guards can notice. She must be Gloria's drug runner.
I look up and meet her eyes and see her jaw is hanging open. Do I have something on my face?
"What the fuck are you staring at bitch I'm tryna eat."
"Santana right? Do…Do you have a brother named Santos?"
Can I have one day without people getting in my shit?
"Maybe. Who's asking?"
"Me. I um. I'm Gloria. I'm your Mother."