I woke up with the worst hangover, I've yet had had to experience. I thought about last night and remembered what had happen. I was surprised over the fact that I wasn't as angry as I had seemed last night. Some part of me was actually relieved; I didn't really want to be with Sasha.
I just wanted someone to want me. But she didn't even do that. Guess we're both mistaken here. I was still mad at her and still planned on not speaking to her.
I got up and made some coffee, Armin and Mikasa wasn't up yet, but I still made some for those too and it didn't take long before Armin was there.
"Ohh man my head hurts so bad" he exclaimed as he dragged himself in to the kitchen. His eyes widened as he saw the cup "Thank you so much Eren. You wanna go get some nasty breakfast when Mikasa gets up?"
"What kind of nasty" I asked knowing it would be some kind of fast food, which is exactly what my head was craving.
"Pizza, French fries, burger. Anything deep fried, with lots of salt too." he smiled at me as Mikasa walked in.
"Oh man, I'd love some of that." She looked worse than Armin.
"Hey, how are you feeling today?" She eyed me with concern
"Besides my head, I'm actually doing well. I'm still a little upset, but I would be lying if I hadn't thought of ending it. It wasn't the way I expected things to end so I still hurt a little" A tried to give her a half smile and she understood that I didn't want to talk more about it. I was still confused about what that guy Levi had said. He thought I was gay. Mikasa understood I needed time to think about stuff, even though it might not be about what she thought.
"Would you guys mind bringing it home? My head is killing me and I think I'm going to puke if I get into a car" She sure looked like it.
As Armin and I got into the car I remembered that he had had a weird smirk on his face when we had gotten home. Something had happened and I needed to know.
"So Armin, what happened last night?" I quickly looked through the corner of my eyes and saw him both smiling and blushing. He was Armin after all, his smirk face yesterday was caused by the effect of alcohol.
"You know that girl I showed you" I nodded "Well, her name is Christa. She goes to another school, that's why we haven't seen her before. We talked and danced and drank and" He looked proud and blushed even more before continuing "She gave me handjob"
I'd expected something like that, but it was still weird to hear it. I always thought I would be the first of Armin and me. "Congrats man. How did it feel?"
"It was amazing Eren, she did everything omg!" He talked about his first handjob for the rest of the ride, he stopped when we came home to Mikasa and we all talked about other things that went down that night. It was crazy, Jean had apparently been into a fight, because some dude groped Mikasas ass.
During the next days, it began to snow. So while I was out looking for Christmas presents I decided to get a hot chocolate at one of the Coffee shops.
There weren't any seats left. So I ended up standing awkwardly besides the counter trying to drink. That's when I saw the guy from the other night. Levi. He was sitting alone at one of the far away tables. He looked angry, no that's not it. He looked thoughtful like he had a lot on his mind. His hair was cut in a style I'd never seen anyone else have.
The hair was a little longer at the top than it was in the bottom. Actually, the bottom was all trimmed. It made him look a lot more hostile, which somehow suited him.
I decided to go for the spot opposite him. I didn't say hi or anything I just sat down in front of him.
He looked at me like he didn't know who I was, but after a few moments he nodded.
"What do you want?" It's wasn't impolite, but it wasn't friendly either.
"I don't know." I looked out of the window and when I looked back he was staring at me. He didn't say anything and I felt that I was supposed to do so, so I asked him "You waiting for someone?"
"mhm, a friend" he didn't say more and he didn't say less.
I started to regret that I had decided on staying instead of leaving.
"You want to know why I thought you were gay? Is that what you want?" I didn't look at him, but I nodded. Before he could say anything someone stood next to the table.
"Oi, Levi who's that?" It was a girl, she had brown hair, which was sat in a ponytail. She was taller than Levi, but then again Levi was really short. Levi didn't explain to her who I was, nor who she was. Was it his girlfriend?
"I'm Hanji, I'm that shitheads best friend. But he never seem to appreciate it" She exaggerated a traumatic look, before laughing and offer me her hand as hello.
"Eren" was the only thing I said, a little taken aback of her oncoming personality.
"Come on Hanji, we need to be somewhere" He got up from his seat and was about to leave when he turned around and bend down so we were in eye height. I felt embarrassed for a moment, when I realized I liked that he was this close.
"If you still want to know, stop by Blue Steel, later. I'm working there as a substitute for tonight" He left without saying no more.
"Bye Eren" Hanji Yelled, from the other site of the room. The yell was accompanied with a violent wave.
I sat in the coffee shop for another ten minutes, not sure on my legs. I cringed as I thought of my reaction at being so close to Levi. What is wrong with me? He's the one doing it to me, it's because he want me to be gay I thought, because I wasn't gay.
At home I was restless all day. Mom and dad had come home from the conference, but they would only be a few days, then leave to come home the day before Christmas. They didn't even notice that I was so nervous. Why was I even nervous?
At nine I went to Mikasas room. "Uhm, Can I get a ride later?" She looked up from the book she was reading "Whereto?"
"To Blue Steel, I'm meeting someone there." I was still nervous
"Fine, I'll be driving to Jean's later I'll take you, but you need to get home by yourself"
I nodded and thanked her.
At ten she called "It's now Eren!"
She dropped me off and I just stood there for a few minutes before entering.
I went up to the bar and saw that Levi hadn't lied, he was mixing drinks. He nodded at me when he saw me. He was wearing an ordinary black T-shirt and jeans. Nothing exceptional, but I thought he looked good. In a not homosexual, but curious way, which might be a little homosexual anyway, I thought and felt a little depressed.
I ordered a drink and waited two hours until he finally came to the other side of the bar. "I'm done, let's go."
We walked to the parking lot opposite the bar. He just leaned against his car and just stood there watching me, studying me. I didn't know how to work into the subject of him thinking I was gay, so instead I asked "How old are you?"
He looked distant "23… I'm 23." I didn't know what I had expected, he looked a lot older than me.
"So" he said, changing his position " You want to know why I think you're gay" Hearing him saying the word gay made me blush. I hoped it was too dark to see, but Levi gave me a little smirk and gestured towards the car. I placed myself beside him.
"I just know. Intuition" He smiled in a way that made it seem like he enjoyed playing with me. I'm sure that I was turning more and more red, both of embarrassment and anger.
I turned around and started to walk away, when Levi suddenly grabbed my arm, just above the elbow, pulled me back. He slammed me into the car and my heart suddenly pounded with adrenaline. It was weird, he was so much smaller than me, but he was strong and I felt I was trapped, but in a good way. If being trapped ever was good.
I little part of me was scared, but another part of me was anticipating. I wanted to know what happened next.
Levi stood so close that I could feel his breath on my skin. It felt right having him so close. He placed his hand on my chin, right under my ear; both his body and his face moved a little closer, so the space between us was as good as nonexistent. I felt all blood leave my face and travel right to my dick.
Now I was scared, I didn't want him to know that he gave me a boner. I looked up, from the spot on his shoulder, and looked him right in the eyes. I didn't want him to know what went through my mind, so I just silently stood there accepting his challenge hoping he didn't feel how much I've already lost.
He gave me one more of his I-know-better-smiles and uttered under his breath "If you're not gay, tell me why you're getting hard"
"I'm. I'm not gay!" I hissed, but my body betrayed me as he got closer to me. I couldn't help it, he smelled so good and I gave out a little sigh of pleasure. He lifted both his eyebrows as too mock me some more.
I wasn't sure if this was a bluff or not, if he did this because he wanted me. I didn't even know if he was gay. I decided that he was bluffing, taunting me, so I decided to see how far he would go. I did the only thing I could think of. I leaned forward and took his head between my hands and kissed him as violently as I could.
He kissed me back, which surprised me as I thought he had been bluffing. It wasn't as any kiss I've ever had before. With Sasha it had been good, it had been dirty, but it lacked something.
Levi pressed me closer into the car. He parted my lips and let his tongue find mine. We kissed with a passion I've never thought possible. When we stopped I was out of breath and I just looked at him and stated "I'm gay"
"Yeah, you are. Congratulations on realizing that." He was back to his gloomy, sarcastic self. It seemed he only smiled when he was either mocking someone or knew he was right.
It annoyed me a little so like a brat I said "what's your deal anyway?"
He gave me a stern look, which told me he wasn't in the mood for some kind of immature game. I stared him down, at least I had the advantage of being taller than him.
"I don't have a deal. I just saw you, realized you were gay and tried to help you see that too."
I frowned "What's in it for you, besides the satisfaction of seeing someone being confused and in pain"
"You in pain?" He looked sincere as he looked up on me.
I didn't want to answer so I turned around and walked away. While I walked I hoped nothing more than my throbbing erection would be gone by the time I got home.
Luckily it was. My mind still hadn't come to term with me being gay, but apparently my body had, because as soon as I got into bed and thought about the way Levis body felt against mine. I got a Hard-on.