Dawn of the … Bunnies

That's just plain wrong

"YES, YES, YES, YES, YES! I got Rosalie's name!" Esme ran up the stairs and came back a second later wearing a corny looking superhero costume.

"Okay, seriously, why do you have that?" Emmett asked, shaking his head. Esme went into a superhero pose on the top of the stair case.

"I am the Pink Bunny Super Girl, fighting crime and rescuing bunny's everywhere! I dare Rosalie to be my sidekick, the Purple Gopher." Esme yelled. Rosalie stared up at her in pure disgust.

"See, I already had a costume made for you." She said, holding up a costume that was similar to her, but its mask was a gopher face, it was purple, it had a bushy tail, and gopher gloves. Rosalie looked like she was going to have a convulsion.

"Esme, are you sure that you're only making a fool out of Rosalie and not yourself." Bella asked. Alice was in a state of shock and was currently unable to form a complete sentence.

"You … its … purple … teeth … face … That used to be mine!" Alice said, regaining her wits long enough to form a sentence.

"The gopher outfit? Really Alice?" Emmett asked, trying to picture Alice in a gopher costume.

"NO, the bunny outfit. Esme stole it from me a while ago." Alice said, frowning.

"Sorry Alice, but I'm the one with bunny powers! Come on Rosalie, we have to fight crime and save bunnies!" Esme declared before running off.

"WAIT FOR US!" Alice called after them but they were already gone.

"What do we do now?"

"I have an idea…"

You know, if I was mean, I would completely skip over the entire superhero scene with the old lady from chapter 6 … the one that attacked Emmett with the bat … but I'm not that evil

"Gopher girl, pick up your feet!" Esme called over her shoulder. Rosalie was still staring at the purple gopher tail in shock. It clashed with her currently snot colored skin.

"Esme, will you stop calling me that!" Rosalie asked, catching up to her.

"SHHHH, don't call me that! What if one of our enemy's finds out our real identities?"

"What enemies?" Rosalie asked. Esme turned the other way.

"I'm sorry; we're you talking to me?"

"Esme, don't start."

"I can't hear you."

"Pink Bunny … what enemies do we have?" Rosalie looked like she had eaten something that didn't agree with her.

"Oh come on, do you think I let this thing sit in the corner of my closet and gather dust? I have a whole secret life you know nothing about."

"So you actually wear this … in public…?"

"Who else is going to save bunnies Purple Gopher? It has to be me! I'm the only thing protecting them! Look, we need to help that old lady." Esme said, pointing down at the streets.

"Oh god, it can't be." Rosalie looked frightened.

"Hi lady!" Esme called skipping up to her. The old woman looked at her over her glasses.

"Are you a superhero? I want to report an alien sighting. He was tall and green and had an antenna." She told them.

"Gasp! It must have been Emmett! Our archenemy." Esme said, turning to Rosalie.

"You've lost it."

"What do you mean by that! Quickly Gopher Girl, we must stop him.

"He's my husband."

"Gasp! How could you betray our cause! Traitor! And after all the years we've been fighting crime together."

"What are you talking about! I didn't even know that you had this stupid outfit until about five minutes ago!"

"And after all those five seconds, you could still betray me by marrying him!"

"There is nothing I can say Esme."

"DO NOT SAY MY REAL NAME! What if our nemesis, the Cockroach King finds out!" Rosalie was figuring that the only way to stop a crazy was to reason like a crazy!

"I'm sorry Pink Bunny, but I can't fight crime anymore! Go fight the Cockroach King on your own. Goodbye and don't come back to the house until you've killed the Cockroach King." That was what Rosalie said, but she was thinking, you'll never find the King or whatever, and so we never have to see you again, and maybe you'll calm down, realize that you are crazy, and come back later.

"I can read your mind Gopher, another Bunny power! I will defeat the Cockroach King and return to you and the others later. Farewell old Lady! Farewell Gopher." Esme was gone in a flash, leaving a very confused Rosalie standing on the sidewalk with the crazy old lady.

"That went over badly." The lady said. Rosalie looked at her before running away.