I don't own Twilight

I also don't own Batman (he's mentioned in the chapter)

More Dares and Esme Goes Missing

When Rosalie walked back into the living room she was surprisingly alone, no Esme hopping up and down next to her. Emmett looked around her to see if Esme was behind her, but it was just Rosalie who was taking off her gopher mask and glaring down at her purple gopher tail.

"Before anyone asks, she is okay physically, but not mentally. She went off to fight some sort of Beatle King or whatever, and then she's going to come back here and seek revenge on me for marrying the enemy. Depending on where she thinks the King is, the sanity level in this house should be a little higher for a few hours. Maybe she'll get lost on the way home, I don't know, and I don't care," Rosalie said, perfectly at ease.

(P.S, I was thinking about writing a little side story about what's Esme is doing during this chapter. Should I?)

"Okay then … Rosalie; it's your turn now. If you get Esme's name, just change it to Alice's." Bella told her as she sat back down. Alice gave her an upset look and Bella frowned back at her. Bella was still holding a grudge against her for the past few dares.

"I got Emmett. Hmmm, Alice is it against the rules for me to dare him to put something other than a bride's outfit, like something a normal person would wear?" Rosalie asked. The black haired vampire went into a 'meditative pose' and sat there, not moving. Everyone waited.

And waited.

And waited a little more.

"Speed it up Alice," Rosalie whispered

"What is she doing?" Emmett whispered.

"Maybe she's looking into the future to see what will happen?" Bella whispered back.

"She's never done the freaky yoga pose before, it's creeping me out."

"Well, maybe she just doesn't do it in public. Who knows, it might help her concentrate more, or she might be able to see farther into the future."

"She's still not moving Bella. What do we do if she starts going 'ommmm'?"

"We know then that's she's as crazy as Esme is. Until then, go poke her."

"Why?"

"Because I want to see if she'll tip over and fall, now go poke her in the shoulder."

"No, I value my life. Besides, what if she goes ballistic and claw's my hand off? It probably won't hurt that much, but I can't go walking around handless until Carlisle gets back and sews it on."

"Oh come on, just do it. If she claws your hand off, Esme can out it back together and sing 'Humpty Dumpty' while she does it. Alice probably won't even move, you are such a baby Emmett. Do it, or I'll bring you a new pet ladybug!" Bella threatened. Emmett leaned back slightly. Alice's face scrunched up in annoyance.

"You guys, I can hear ever word you're saying! I'm trying to channel my inner-Esme to see how she would respond to the question," Alice hissed at them, her eyes still closed and her face relaxing slightly. Bella and Emmett looked at each other before shrugging.

"Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!" Rosalie gasped waving her arm in the air. Alice opened one eye to look at her and nodded. Rosalie cleared her throat and stood up, tying her hair into two high ponytails.

"I'M A BUNNY! HOP, HOP, HOP! I'm only afraid of dirt! I must fight crime and save bunnies everywhere! Down with the Cockroach King!" Rosalie screamed, hopping in place. She had been dying to get that one out. Emmett and Bella leaned away from her, but Alice seemed unaffected.

"Well, besides that, I also think Esme would say that that's against the rules. So, you have to pick something else or she'll get mad when she gets back … if she gets back. Who knows, she might go annoyed Jasper and the others in the woods. I wish I could see their faces." Alice said, leaving her yoga pose and lying down on her sleeping bag, daydreaming.

"Fine. What would make Esme really mad at you when she came home…?" Rosalie was thinking hard and the others could practically see the gears rotating in her head.

"You could always have him destroy her secret Pink Bunny Lair underground." Bella suggested casually. Everyone looked at her in shock and confusion.

"Okay, I can see the future and not even I know what that is." Alice said. Bella walked over pressed a button that made the wall slide to reveal a door with a large pink bunny poster on it.

"Edward was out hunting once and I was left alone here with Esme, and she wasn't paying much attention, so I went down to look around. There is this whole underground lair thing underneath the floor. It's all pink and fluffy with giant Bunny symbols everything. It's kind of like a girly-version of Batman's cave." Bella explained to the still shocked vampires.

"We live here and we didn't know about that! Emmett, go destroy that thing, now! What if someone saw it other than Bella? We don't have to worry about her being scarred for life." Rosalie ordered. Emmett ran down just as Bella opened her mouth to say something to him. He was gone before she could get the first word.

"Umm … she has a security system."

BANG

"What the #&*?"

"What was that?" Alice asked, looking down the stairs after the crash had ended. Bella rubbed her forehead slightly.

"A giant metal hammer."

"How did you not get squashed by that?" Rosalie asked, upset.

"She hadn't worked the bugs (ha-ha, 'bugs' and she's out fighting the Cockroach king, get it … I'll shut up) out and it just swung over my head. I guess she fixed it though."

"Why is it that I am the only one getting hit?" Emmett asked, crawling back up the stairs. Alice looked tempted with the thought of kicking him.

"Emmett, go back down there and destroy it!" Rosalie snapped. Yeah, you could tell she was really worried about him.

"The stupid hammer put a giant hole in the wall which made everything short-circuit. There is nothing to destroy."

"Was the hole Emmett shaped?" Bella asked teasingly. Emmett glared back up at her, since he was still lying on the ground.

"Shut up Bella! You just had to mention the stupid lair, didn't you?"

"Well, what else could you do to her? In her current state of mind, she probably can't read so burning books wouldn't matter. She doesn't care that much about clothes, and I don't think she has her own car to destroy. She probably just be happy and laugh if you totaled the Mercedes. Now you look like a squashed alien bride."

"Shut up, I'm trying to think of what to do if I draw your name."

"Why me? Rosalie could have completely ignored the whole lair comment and dared to do something else. It's not my fault she chooses now to listen to what I'm saying."

"Because none of us would have ever known about it if you hadn't said anything! My turn."