Question: What do you do when you do when you can't think of anything to write for a chapter?
Answer: You ask your friend to do it while you go away and lounge in Mexico for a week! Thanks!
Disclaimer: This story was ¾ written by Im-an-angelgenius and ¼ written by me. I do not own Twilight, but I do own the Pink Bunny, Purple Gopher, and Esme's lunacy.
The Date Part 2
Rosalie glared at Emmet as they walked out the door of the house. The two of them took off in a sprint so they could get to the restaurant in time. Back in the house, Bella and Alice had burst out laughing while Esme tried to figure out what was going on
"What?" He asked, moving back a bit. The look on the blond vampires face was one of true, pure evil, and nothing less.
"I'm not the one who made you go on this date," Emmett reminded her when she refused to stop glaring.
"Yeah, well, you are the one who forced me to shave my hair off! Do you think this … this brown thing on my head is a nice happy bowl of sunshine?" Rosalie pointed at the curly brown wig on her head and Emmett blinked. Someone really was in a bad mood.
"Rosalie…uh … I hope you know, that's not a bowl, it's a wig." Sometimes Rosalie just wanted to kill him. Of all the times in this story Emmett had deserved to die, this might be one of the best ones.
"Ugh, okay then, do you think this is a nice, happy wig of sunshine?" Rosalie sighed.
"It's not yellow; it's brown, dark brown actually. You kind of look like Jessica because it's a little curly… I'll shut up now." For once, he said something smart.
"I. Know. It's. Not. Yellow. It is itchy and I miss my beautiful blondeness and it won't grow back 'cause guess what - I'm a vampire! And if Alice even things for one minute about making my hair into a wig and giving it to Bella, I will kill her!" The last sentence was directed to the watch.
Back in the house
"Bella, come here, I need to measure your head."
"What?"
Back with Rosalie and Emmett
"Uh, I'm sorry…?" His words came out as a question.
"Oh, you are not sorry yet! You'll be sorry, when I chop you up and throw you in a fire!"
"Rosalie, sweetie, there is no need to be violent."
"You…:"
"Here we are! Look, there's Lauren and Eric. Come on," Emmett said, trying desperately to calm her down, but she only growled at him.
Rosalie stopped. Buzzz! (Don't know how to make a shock sound)
"Ow!" Rosalie yelped, looking at her hand. "What was that?"
Buzzz!
"Ow! Stop that stupid hand! God, this is not my day. I'm painted a hideous color for half the night, my car gets hurt, my hair is shaved off and it will never grow back, my husband is getting married to Bella, and now my hand is possessed!" The crowd in the restaurant stopped and stared at her. She looked back at them and trudged over to Eric, who was drooling over her.
"How nice of you to join us, Rosalie," Emmett said acting politely. He was worried that soon his hand was going to start hurting.
"Yeah, sure, of course." Buzzz! "Ow. What the… it's the freaking watch. What are you doing to me, Alice?" Buzzz! "Quit it!" Buzzz! Rosalie scowled. "I'll be back."
Rosalie headed to the bathroom and took out her cell phone. Alice picked up a millisecond after Rosalie called.
"Hello?" Alice said, innocently. "Who is it? I'm sorry; I'm busy making a wig right now!"
"Oh, you know who it is! What are you doing to me you annoying freaky-haired vamp- OUCH?" BUZZZ
"What do you mean?"
"The shocking!" Rosalie yelled.
"Oh that, well if you don't follow the rules we will have to shock you."
"What? I followed every rule, I came here and I'll have to admit I did think about grabbing Eric and throwing him in the little river thing in that place Edward goes to, but I didn't do it! Are you reading my mind? HOW DARE YOU!"
"Do I sound like Edward to you? Right now, you sound like Esme! You weren't acting nice, so the watch shocked you … a lot. Now, go! I'm tired of seeing nothing but the bathroom wall through the camera!" Alice said and ended the call. Rosalie trudged over. Buzzz!
Rosalie muttered something, then smiled, and straightened up.
"Hello everyone, I just had to touch up my make up," Rosalie said with a really big smile.
"No prob," Eric said. "Here, have some coke."
"Um, no thanks. I don't drink."
"It doesn't contain alcohol."
"I DON'T DRINK!" Buzzz! "I mean, I don't really like coke."
"Well, Lauren, would you like to order something?" Emmet said, turning to Lauren. She just stared at Emmet.
"Lauren? Hello? Lauren?"
"What? Oh yeah. Uh, I'll have, the Flaming Fillet." She said, looking at the menu for a second and then back at him.
Rosalie glared at her.
Let's use Edward-Vision and see what she's thinking!
I wonder if the Flaming Fillet will burn her mouth so much, she'll never be able to talk again. That would be soooo nice.
Why are we not surprised?
"Hey Eric, Hey Lauren, Hey Emmet, Hey… Since when did you have brown hair? Are you trying to copy Bella? God, she's hot, but I mean you are hot too," Mike Newton yelled from across the room and then slid in next to Rosalie. Emmet got up and almost knocked Mike over for calling Rosalie hot, but Alice shocked him. Rosalie slowly turned her head to face Mike.
"I do not copy people, okay."
"Okay,,, So what are you guys doing here?"
"We are on a date, Mike, and are about to order," Emmet said as the server came over.
"Hello, I'm Jacob and I'll be your server today and hi Emmet, Blondie, or Brunettie…" (Jacob's a waiter … hmm … would he look cute in a waiters uniform … thinking about it …)
"Hey Jake, What are you doing here?" Emmet smiled painfully and wondered if Alice would shock him for being rude to Jacob.
"Just earning some money. Anyway, what are you doing here?"
"We're on a date." Jake made an 'o' shape with his mouth. Emmet nodded.
"Well, okay then. So what do you want?" Jake said, taking out his pen and paper.
"Uh, Lauren would like to have the Flaming Fillet, nothing for me and Rose," Jake laughed and rolled his eyes. "And Eric…" Emmet stopped and looked at Eric.
"I'll have a cheese pizza."
"A cheese pizza?" Emmet asked. Eric nodded. "Okay, and a cheese pizza."
"Alright, your food will be here in five minutes." Jake took the menus and left.
"So…" Mike said, probably just wanting to hear his own voice talk. "I thought you two were dating?" He pointed at Rosalie and Emmet who both groaned slightly.
"I dumped her," Emmet shrugged wondering if this truth or dare game was going to destroy the entire town in the process.
"You dumped me? Uh, no, I dumped you and you were all 'Rose, take me back. I'm sorry! I know I'm a stupid, shaver of hair, idiot!"
"Are you kidding me!" BUZZZ! "Yes, that was exactly what happened…"
"Uh… shaver of hair?" Mike asked, bewildered. Rosalie glared at him. "Never mind. Well, I'm gonna leave now. The food's here."
(Ahh, you just gotta love time skips. 109 words = five minutes. Whoever would have guessed?)
"Well, hope you enjoy your date. I have a feeling you two are going to have to keep the conversation going," Mike said, looking at Eric and Lauren who were ogling Rosalie and Emmet. Mike rolled his eyes and left. Jacob then brought over the cheese pizza and the flaming fillet, which had a huge flame at the top.
Rosalie couldn't take Eric staring at her anymore, so just as Jacob brought over the fillet, Rosalie stood up and knocked over the fillet, so that the tablecloth caught on fire.
"ROSE! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Emmet yelled.
"Everyone, run out the door as fast as you can! Go, Go, GO!" Jacob yelled grabbing people and pushing them toward the door.
"It wasn't my fault. Jacob's the one who brought it when I stood up."
Jacob turned around. "It's not my fault leech. You randomly stood up."
"Can we just stop arguing and get out?" Emmet said. Rosalie glared at him. "Lauren, Thank you…. Where'd she go?" Laurent wasn't in sitting in her spot, neither was Eric.
"They must have left. Now, let's leave. We three are the only ones still in here and the fire is heading for the kitchen where all the gas is. This place is going to explode!" Jacob yelled. He grabbed Rosalie and Emmet and ran at his wolf speed.
"Hey, dog, let go. We can run," Emmet said. Jacob let go of them and they ran as well.
They soon stopped after they realized they were miles away from the restaurant. You could still see it, however. A few seconds later, the place burst into flames.
BUZZZ! BUZZZ! BUZZZ! "Dang it. It wasn't my fault!" Rosalie yelled at her watch and Jacob took a step away from her.
Alice, Bella, and Esme soon joined them.
"YOU KILLED THE DATE! AND THE RESTURAUNT!!! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN OTHER DARES!" Alice yelled.
"No, wait, no! It's was Jake!" Rosalie begged.
"Hey Jake," Bella said.
"Hey Bella," Jake said, hugging her.
Alice turned to Bella. "STOP HEYING! WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE YELLING AT ROSE!"
"Oh, right, sorry."
"Hmm, Get with the program, Bella." Alice turned back to Rosalie. "You, you will pay!"
"Oh, Jake, when are you and Alice getting married? Is it going to be a double wedding with Bella and Emmett? I'm going to marry a bunny!" Esme couldn't contain herself any longer. It was surprising she could not talk for that minute.
"Hey, why are we getting married?" Jake asked Alice who looked like she really wanted to hurt Esme.
"Jacob. Black. If. I. Were. You. I. Would. RUN!" Alice yelled.
"Oh, merciful Alice, I have such need of your mercy now. Not for myself, but for Rosalie, for this is truly her hour of need. Deliver her from her trials ahead and I will pay you a thousandfold with any sacrifice you ask of me. And if in your wisdom, You should determine that sacrifice must be my life for hers, so that she can once again taste the freedom that has so long been denied to her, I will gladly make that covenant. My death will have a purpose. I ask no more than that," Emmet recited.
"Emmet, you should be scared too and stop quoting King Arthur. It's a wonder how you remember that whole long speech," Alice said.
"I thought that Emmett and Rosalie are married. Why is Bella marrying Emmett?? Can Esme really marry a bunny? Is that normal for vampires?" Jake asked. He had decided against running away.
Alice growled. "All three of you are going to pay, now." And then she smiled a very evil smile.
"Somebody's got a little bit a temper."
"Can I get married to a bunny now?" Everyone looked over at Esme in surprise.
"You already are married Esme." Bella explained patiently. Esme looked confused.
"To a bunny?"
"No."
"Then I'm not married."
"You have a wedding ring though."
"No, I don't."
"Yeah you … where did it go?"
"Where did what go?"
"The gold band on your finger."
"Oh, that thing? I ate it about three minutes ago. I was very hungry."
"Alice, is that normal."
"No, no it is not. On the bright side, we can probably get it back later. Bella, I think it's time for bed. Rosalie, as a punishment for destroying a perfectly good restaurant, you will read Bella bedtime stories until she falls asleep."
"I'm going to kill you."
Next time: What can we do to Bella while she is asleep? Evil Laugh.