Second Chances
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
AN: Hello, again. Enjoy!
So, Now What, Embry?
I could hear my heart breaking in to tiny pieces. My entire world was about to change the instant that he told me the news. I didn't know how to go on with life if it turned out to be positive. I felt numb, completely anesthetized by not knowing the news. We walked hand in hand to the leaving room and he was mum. No sound came from his lips. He was planning his escape. I know he was! There were a few men that would stay for something like this. Were we really going to become parents?
"So, am I pregnant?" I asked incredulously.
He nodded and squeezed my hand gently. I looked in to his bright eyes and he smiled tenderly at me. "You aren't alone in this, Madie."
He guided me to the loveseat and sat first, then placed me on his lap. He cupped my face in his hand and kissed me softly on the lips. I felt myself melt in his arms. I felt betrayed by my own inability to protect myself from getting pregnant. I never imagined that this could happen to me.
"I know, so are we or are we not pregnant?" I asked, not wanting, but at the same time wanting to hear the words that would be coming out of his lips. "I need a YES or a fucking NO, Em1" I cried.
He sighed and ran his hand across his face and stared at me. His expression unreadable an unyielding as before.
"Are we? Or are we not, Em? Just tell me. End my fucking suffering." I snapped, clutching at the collar of his shirt desperately.
"We are." he muttered, kissing my lips.
"What?" I sobbed, tears falling down my face. I was going to be a mother!
"We are having a child." he said, smiling at me. Why was he so happy? He knew the result of that test, before I even knew.
"That can't be right." I bellowed, getting off his lap, but he pressed me closer against him. "Let's do the other two pregnancy tests. I bet you, that there was a glitch on the first one." I said, pulling away from him and marching to the bathroom.
"Are you sure you want to go through this again?" he asked restlessly, following after me.
I nodded, but continued to trudge to the bathroom. I wanted to make sure that the test didn't give me the wrong result. It had to be a glitch! It had to.
"OK, whatever you want." he mumbled, raising his hand to his head.
I opened the faucet and let the water run, until I had the desire to urinate. This test had to be negative. It had too! I couldn't be pregnant. This was all a bad fucking dream. I couldn't be a mother. I just couldn't.
I placed both sticks under the urine stream and quickly placed the cap and sat them on the sink counter. I pulled my panties up and took off my pants. I know that this time, the results were going to be different. I was not pregnant! I was not! Be optimistic, or was it positive and you can accomplish what you want. I know that that stupid mantra didn't apply to me, but I still had hope in me.
"I am done." I said optimistic, as I washed my hands in the sink.
"OK, let's wait three minutes." Embry said, leaning against the door frame. He didn't look pessimistic like me. He looked... Oh, please Lord, don't let it be positive!
xxXxx
Embry's POV
I watched as she took off her pants and paced around the small bathroom in her panties. She looked so nervous and sad. I felt sorry for putting her through this. She was so young and was soon going to become a mother. I wanted her to know that I was going to be beside her every step of the damn way. She just needed to see that the results were not wrong. She was pregnant. I knew that, she knew that and the entire pack knew that. Her scent changed drastically in the last four weeks.
She trudged back and forth and I stood near the door frame, waiting for the longest three minutes of my life.
"What does it say, negative, right?" she asked hopefully, handing me the two pregnancy sticks. I looked at them and sighed.
"No, positive." I said tiredly. Why couldn't she just accept the fact that she was going to be a mother?
"I think I am going to puke!" she screamed, taking the sticks and slamming them on the floor. "How?" she yelled, throwing all the lotions that were on the counter on to the floor. She was crying angrily and sobbing.
"I could tell you but I think you know how." I said dryly, walking towards her.
"I do know, idiot, I just mean how I let this happen?" she hissed, smacking my hand away from her.
"Destiny." I mumbled. I walked away from her and sat on the floor, resting my back against the wall. She paced around the room and was now on the other side of the room facing me.
"Destiny is a bitch." she shouted angrily.
"I know but it brought us together, baby girl." I told her, patting the floor, motioning her to sit beside me.
"And it made us get pregnant." she whined, reluctantly walking towards me.
"But we are together in this, sweetie." I said, holding her limp hand and pulling her down next to me.
"I want to die!" she said, kneeling in front of me and staring in to my eyes. She looked dejected and despondent. I could feel my life shattering with the words she was saying.
"Don't say that. I know it's hard, but we can make it work."I said, clasping her waist with my hand and shaking her slightly.
"I can't do this, I am so scared." she confessed, snaking her arms around me and sobbing in my arms. "I just turned seventeen . I can't have a child. I want to be a journalist for Time magazine This baby is just gonna hold me down. I can't be mother!" she protested furiously.
"I am sorry that I placed you in this position." I said, caressing soothing circles on her back with the palm of my hand. I hated seeing her so sad.
"It is not entirely your fault." she said, slightly pulling away from me to look in to my eyes.
"It probably is. I knew that your scent changed and didn't tell you about it." I said, tucking a few strands of stray hairs behind her ear. I loved her and I only wanted to see her smile.
"That is true." she said, pouting behind her tears.
"I am sorry. I couldn't fucking control myself." I laughed, kissing her lips tenderly.
She laughed and placed her head on the crook of my neck. "I hate you!" she jested.
"You do?" I asked seriously, but she began to laugh.
"Of course not!" she said softly, wrapping her legs around my waist. "So, what now?"
I sighed. I had thought about everything. I know that I should have told her before, but I wanted to have a backup plan. I didn't want her to find out about the pregnancy and think that I wasn't planning for the future.
"Well, I have done some thinking for a while. I have also, been planning about it, but I acted on it this morning." I said coolly.
"What did you think about?" she asked curiously, playing with the hem of my tee shirt.
"Well," I paused, licking my lips. "I thought about quitting school and getting a full time job at the construction company."
"Oh, OK. I could get a job too. We can share the costs of raising the baby." she said distantly. She looked so lost and so hurt. I hated myself. I was causing her pain.
"No! That is out of the question. You just concentrate on finishing school. I want you to finish high school." I said seriously, shaking my head to emphasize my point.
"What about you, Em?" she asked me, placing her soft hands on my chest.
"I was planning on finishing high school through obtaining a GED. What do you think about that?" I asked her, wanting to hear her input on the situation.
"That is good, but it's not the same as finishing high school, baby." she said sadly. I knew what she was thinking. She didn't want me to miss out on high school.
"I am a senior, baby, it won't take too long to finish my GED." I told her, trying to calm her down.
She sighed and nodded. "What about a college education? It's important to have a degree, Embry!" she whined, sighing gloomily.
"I thought of letting you have my scholarship, so you can go to college and have your tuition paid in full. I also thought of finishing my college education through an Online school." I said. I didn't want her to worry so much. I was going to provide for her. I just wanted her to be healthy and happy, for our child's sake.
"No, I won't take your scholarship. It's yours. I do want you to finish your college degree. I don't want you to miss out on that." she said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "But I won't take your scholarship. My mother left me enough money to pay for my education and more. I just have to be eighteen years old to have access to it."
We remained silent and just stared at the each other.
"What about the money issues?" she asked concernedly. "I work using my brother's social security number and that brings me enough money to buy myself clothes and save up for a car... but will it be enough to provide for a baby?"
"Don't worry your little head. I have thought of that and everything is taken care of. Quil's cousin Rick is my boss. He gave me a raise and promoted me as his assistant. I will get paid almost four thousand dollars a month." I told her.
I felt her body relax against my arms and I felt so much better. I didn't want her to worry so much. I know that we were going to have our hands full, with a baby coming along, but she needed to know that I was going to be there for her. I wanted to provide for all her needs.
"For real?" she smiled, as tears fell down her face.
"Yes, he likes how determine and hardworking I am, Madison... there is only one catch."
She moaned and hung her head low. "I knew it!" she cried, resting her face in her hands. "There is always a catch!"
"What is it? Murder someone?" she asked fastidiously.
I laughed and kissed her cheek. "I have to finish high school."
She gave me a quizzical look. "But you dropped out of school, baby." she said worriedly.
"I know, he wants me to get a GED by the end of next year." I said casually, caressing her face softly, with my lips.
"How long will it take you to finish and get your GED?" she asked.
"Not too long I just need a few more classes and I am done." I said, shrugging. "Sam also told me to take it easy. I won't be patrolling any longer. At least not for a while. I think that it is a wise decision, right?""
"Uh-huh," she muttered, looking down at our hands.
"He said that he understood if I took a few months off. I think that would be wise." I said coolly, running my hand through her hair.
We stayed quiet for a few minutes. I was still processing the fact that I was going to be a father. How was I going to be a good father, when I didn't have a good one?! My biggest fear was of fucking up my child's life! I would never forgive myself if I did something like that.
"So," I paused, sitting up straight. "Do you want to keep the baby?" I asked her seriously.
I didn't want to get rid of a child that was ours. I couldn't bring myself to do such a thing. It wasn't the baby's fault, right? We were the ones that were not careful. I would do anything to keep her happy... but, I just don't think that I could be able to support her decision, if she wanted an abortion.
xxxXxxx
I mulled over his question and sighed. I didn't think that I could get rid of something that was growing inside of me and that was made with the man I loved. But then again, I was still young...
"Do you?" I asked nervously, crossing my fingers, in hope that he would say NO! But then again, I was still considering the facts.
"Um, honestly, yes. I don't want you to have an abortion. I want to keep the baby." he said hurriedly.
I sighed and felt tears of hopelessness falling down my face. I couldn't understand why I was crying. I couldn't decide. One moment, I was hoping that I wasn't pregnant, but now that I knew the truth... I couldn't deny that I felt a sense of hope and desperation.
"Yes?" I asked confused.
"Yes!" he grinned. "I love him already." Embry said, smiling at me, and kissing me full on the lips. This man was full of surprises.
"Him? You already decided its sex?" I asked him surprised. I was starting to feel happy, confused and sad.
"Yes, it's a boy." he laughed.
"A boy? Have you already planned out our entire lives, baby?" I asked him, gazing in to his eyes. Could this really be happening?
"Basically, but no." he said firmly.
"Tell me what you have thought about." I said, kissing his nose. I couldn't have ask for a much perfect man.
"Well," he said, as he played with my hands. "I thought about living here in this house for a while, until we could get on our own two feet and buy a bigger home. That way we can save enough money to buy you a brand new car and save money for a down payment for a house."
"You thought all this already!" I asked excitedly, as I took his hand in mine. "Thank you. I don't know if I would have survived without you, angel."
He nodded, smiling at me. "Nice, Ha?!" he laughed cockily. "I have to think about our future. You are my princess and I want you to have a pleasant and healthy pregnancy. I don't want you to worry about a thing. I love you Madison, and I only want to make you happy, safe and mine."
"I'm yours." I told him, kissing his lip.
"I know." he answered smugly.
I knew that we could make it work. I had the faith to believe with all my heart that we could make it work. I knew in my heart that it wasn't going to be easy, but it could be done. There was one thing that worried me the most. The gossip that would be spread, like wild fire, over the entire school.
"Have you thought about the gossip that will be spread all over school?" I asked him, getting off his lap. I got to my feet and looked down at him.
He craned his neck to face me and nodded. "I have and I am so sorry that I won't be able to stop it." he said remorsefully.
.
"I know. Elaine is going to have a field trip, when she finds out." I muttered pissed.
"I don't care about her. I care only about you." he said, placing his warm hand on the back of my leg and caressing it softly.
"But I do." I said despondently.
"Why?" he asked curiously, getting to his own two feet. "Why do you care, angel?"
I sighed and opened my mouth to speak, but the bell rang. "I think you should go get it." I mumbled, walking to where my pants laid on the floor.
"It's the pizza delivery guy." Embry said, exiting the room. "I will be back, princess." he called over his shoulder.
Five minutes later, Embry came back in to the bathroom and walked over to where I was. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. I felt safe, protected and happy. I felt sad for doubting him. He wasn't like Thomas or all those idiots that would've easily run when they found out that they were going to be fathers.
Embry Call was different from all of them. He was courageous and a damn fighter. He was mine and I was his. Our bonds were stronger and our love could withstand anything.
"Let's go eat." he said, as he removed his arms from around me. I nodded and smiled up at him. We walked to the dining room and sat and enjoyed a quiet dinner. It was getting late and I was getting tired.
I took a quick shower and sauntered over to my bed. I had on my favorite white jersey and got in to bed. Embry was in the living room watching a football game on television. I laid on my bed pondering about the things that were bound to change. What if I didn't have the child? Would he still be there for me? Didn't I have saying in this? I could decide for myself. What if I had an abortion and told him that I lost the baby? Would he believe me? Would I be able to live with the guilt of lying to him or of killing a human being?
Life was going to be different. I feared that if I had the child, I would probably end up like my mother; abandoning my child. I continued to ponder over everything that had happened in my life in the last four months or so. I had to be strong and quick to come up with a decision of what I wanted to do with my life.
Two hours later, Embry walked in to the room. He had showered and smelled fresh. I pretended to be asleep and didn't move from where I was. I didn't feel like talking about the same topic. I knew that if he asked me a question, I would end up telling him of my decision to...
"Did Elaine hurt you?" he asked worriedly. I didn't answer, I didn't need him to worry so much.