So after two days of being an antisocial little prick I managed to finish this. Chapter 20 is already in the works. I read this over and over but still, I apologize if there are any mistakes.

Have a lovely weekend and let me know what you think! :)

"Dianna, wait! Dianna!"

She heard her voice resonate in her own head, in the room, and later on in the hallway. Of all the scenarios she had created in her mind, literally chasing after Dianna was definitely not one she had even considered. She wasn't expecting to find Dianna shaking and on the verge of crying, and she was definitely not expecting to see her sprint out of the room either. In one moment she felt okay, ready to talk to her and apologize and clear any doubts that she had, and in the other she was running out of the room, barefoot and without a clue of what was going on.

She ran after her, leaving her phone somewhere on the carpeted floor or the bed, she wasn't sure, and probably also with Jonathan still on the other line. She would have to explain later.

Lea found her nowhere in sight the moment she stepped out of the room. She almost got whiplash when her head turned to look at her right and found that there was no exit through which Dianna could have escaped. Her feet took her to the left then, starting to run before she even had the time to process anything else.

In a few quick strides she was already rounding the corner and stopping dead on her tracks. She found Dianna sitting on the floor with her legs pressed against her chest and her arms tightly around them. The blonde's forehead was pressed against her forearms so Lea couldn't see if she was crying or not. Her presence wasn't acknowledged although that didn't stop Lea from stepping forward. Careful at first; almost hesitant, she crouched in front of her. That move made Dianna finally look up, but not really; her eyes were distant, as if Lea's figure were only a shadow and Dianna was looking through it, at the wall behind her. She was focusing on everything but her face. It was such a foreign feeling, the guilt that arose within Lea; the tug at her heart when she got a closer look at Dianna and she found the pair of eyes she always cherished to look at. The eyes that barely 24 hours ago shined with happiness now looked scared and troubled. If only, they shined from unshed tears and a pain that screamed louder than any word she could ever say.

Lea had stayed silent for far too long and seeing Dianna so closed off, knowing that she had caused it, was breaking her inside. Slowly her hand went up to rest on Dianna's knee and it was finally then that hazel eyes focused entirely on her. It was as if Dianna had just realized that Lea was there, when in reality she knew that they were just refusing to let her in.

"Dianna?" She murmured. It seemed wrong to be trying to start this conversation, of all places, in the hallway of a fucking hotel. But what was certainly even more wrong was that Dianna was still wearing her wet clothes and shivering from the chilly conditioned air. She just needed to know though, why they were there in the first place, because she felt that Dianna was not going to move if Lea didn't at least try to calm her down a little in any way she could.

"Why did you run?" She tried again.

Dianna frowned, and Lea mirrored it. "Why don't you just get this over with?"

Lea's expression changed into bewilderment. "Get over with what? What are you talking about?"

Her mind went through the past events in full speed to try to get a grasp of what Dianna was trying to tell her. What was she trying to say with getting over this? Over what?! Her other hand went up as well and covered Dianna's other knee. She noticed how cold the blonde's bare skin felt to her touch but tried to ignore it for a second, even if what she mostly wanted right now was to get her out of those clothes and into a hot shower. She tried to remember, but came up with nothing. It was frustrating, looking into Dianna's eyes and not knowing what they were trying to tell her; to scream at her. For the first time she couldn't read her. Her gaze traveled, from one hazel eye to another, a quick glance at still rosy lips and then back to that unreadable pair of eyes. It also surprised Lea, if she was being honest, that Dianna hadn't tried to get her hands off of her knees. If only, her own hands were curled in the small space between her bent legs and her stomach. She was protecting herself.

"I—I don't know what you're trying to tell me, Di." She said in a broken voice.

"Don't play dumb… why don't you just tell me what you told whoever you were talking to on the phone?"

She was taken aback; both figuratively and literally speaking. How did her conversation with Jonathan figure in all this? She went through it, without knowing why that would have upset Dianna so much that she had ran out of the room. Of course, she was talking about her, but she never mentioned her name or even made a comment that would make Dianna think she was discussing their relationship with her best friend. Although… she did say she had decided to talk to her…

"How much did you hear?"

"Are you serious, Lea?!"

Okay, woah.

"Does it really matter how much I heard from your conversation?" Dianna had somehow managed to pull her legs closer to her, showing Lea her cue to get her hands off of her. Lea was sure that the moments in which Dianna had ever looked remotely exasperated could be counted with only one hand, but she felt like this surpassed any of those in the past.

"I heard enough, Lea. But please save me the embarrassment and say already what you needed to say so badly. Or do you need some extra time for another workout first?"

It was becoming all too much. They were talking but not an actual thought was coming out of each other's minds. Lea fell further into confusion with every word that came out of Dianna's lips until it got to the point where even the fact that they were sitting outside someone else's room wasn't important.

She made sure no one was peeking out of their room to see who was having an argument before she hissed, "Where is this coming from, Dianna?"

They stared at each other for what felt more than mere seconds. They were searching for answers that neither of them even knew how to find. It was then that realization dawned upon Lea.

"Do you think I'm breaking up with you?! Is that it? Is that why you ran out of the fucking room?!"

Dianna flinched before she looked away. Her eyes, Lea noticed, became stormy again as they welled up with fresh tears. She pursued her lips and made sure to look at anything except for the brunette crouching in front of her.

It was enough of an answer for Lea.

But she now hated herself for getting it out of Dianna that way. She had lashed out at her, and become defensive when she did not have the right to be. Things weren't going as she had planned. She had envisioned the both of them inside their room, within the privacy they so badly needed, and talking—talking not nearly yelling—things out. Trying to fix things; going hand by hand through a path that they still seemed to not have reached, or in Lea's case, simply avoided.

She backpedaled immediately. "Di, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you." Her hands curled into fists to fight the need to touch her in some way as her eyes begged to be found by Dianna's once more.

"I'm not breaking up with you," She tried again. "It never even crossed my mind. Not for one second. It was Jonathan whom I was talking to on the phone. I was telling him that during my time at the gym the only idea I came up with was that I had to talk to you. That's all I thought I needed to do. That and apologize for being such an asshole, and for breaking your trust, and for never taking you into consideration."

Dianna had yet to look at her. She had seemed to have set her attention on a spot next to Lea's foot.

"Di?"

She knew she was begging. In that single syllable, she was begging for Dianna to open up to her again. Mere seconds felt like years to her and for a moment she wondered if her heart had slowed down too, falling into synch with her breathing. And when she finally came in contact with her eyes she knew that the thing she wanted most in that single moment was to find someone to actually slap her. To tell her how wrong she had been in deciding—again for the both of them, god fucking damn it—to take some time instead of talking things out.

Dianna's eyes didn't hold the same anger Lea knew she had seen a flash of moments ago; they were tired and her cheeks were stained from the tears she had silently cried.

In Lea's eyes, though, at least now Dianna knew that breaking up with her was simply out of the question.

"I need to take a shower." Dianna finally muttered distantly.

That's when Lea came to notice that even though Dianna had stopped shaking her bare arms were still covered in goose bumps. She wasn't sure if that was an answer she was expecting after all she said; but she figured it was something, and right now she would hold onto whatever Dianna threw at her. As selfish as she knew it was, it hurt to know that it was now the blonde who didn't feel like talking, but she refused to voice that thought. It would only screw things even more. So she only nodded as best as she could without letting her eyes show any sign of tears and tried to stand up. Her legs were numb by then and it only made things awkward on her side when she almost fell back down and had to hold onto Dianna's knee for support. A muttered 'sorry' later and she was on her feet, debating whether or not she should help Dianna up from the floor. Her instinct won as she reached for the arm that was up in the air; the one closest to her. It was one of those times where she knew it didn't make a difference whether you helped putting your hand on their arm or not; they would still be able to get up. It didn't hurt though, to want to be there for Dianna, and as long as she didn't push Lea away she was willing to do something as simple as that.

A small 'thank you.' and Lea knew it was heartfelt.

She let Dianna walk first before she followed only a few steps behind and on her side. Walking next to her felt like too much at the moment and doing it right behind her was just weird; she wasn't a dog.

Moments later they were standing outside the room, where Lea momentarily panicked after realizing that she had ran out without a key and didn't know if Dianna had grabbed one of her own. They would have had to go downstairs and ask for another one. Or maybe she could tell Dianna to wait there and she would run and come back. She thought about those options before she finally noticed Dianna pulling her card from one of the small pockets of her dress.

What if it doesn't work because it got wet?

A slide and then a clicking sound. The door was open.

And they had yet to enter this room without feeling like shit, Lea thought.

Dianna walked in first and held the door open for Lea without casting a glance at her. The blonde stayed silent as she closed the door and headed for her suitcase to retrieve what she needed for her shower while Lea made her way to her own suitcase too, without really knowing what to do. She stood there awkwardly, staring at her clothes and pretending to be looking for something. A fucking solution perhaps. Meanwhile Dianna roamed through her clothes until she found what she needed. Lea heard her move into the bathroom before finally shutting the door. She waited until she could hear the water running to make her way towards their queen size bed. Her whole body fell onto it; surrendered and numb she stayed like that, with her face down and her arms framing her head to protect her as much as they could.

That's when she finally let the tears come. They ran as freely as the water from the room next to her.

Dianna wasn't a fan of arguments. Never had been and never would be. Whenever she felt like someone was getting closer to hitting her last nerve she would always walk away. It wasn't very often either; she probably wouldn't be able to remember when was the last time she had gotten mad at someone and actually showed it, even if she tried. But something in her had snapped in front of Lea. Surprisingly enough there wasn't a feeling of regret within her, but it did feel strange having just experienced that. She would have never imagined the two of them acting that way towards each other. Having the person you didn't, and couldn't love any less be the reason why you also feel emotionally tired and frustrated was something Dianna hadn't experienced before. She had felt like they were getting nowhere sitting in a deserted hallway, saying words that made no sense inside each other's ears and going around in circles by not talking about what had actually provoked this whole thing in the beginning.

That's also why she needed a shower, aside the fact that she was becoming more and more aware of the chills running through her body. She needed it to relax her tense muscles, and the time to clear her mind and have it ready for the talk that they were sure to have after she stepped out of the bathroom. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel weary, even if she had to admit that a part of her had calmed down after Lea had made it clear that she wouldn't break up with her over this. Although her biting tone had still hurt and she knew that Lea had noticed after she backed off.

Her heart grew heavier with anticipation. For a few seconds after she shut off the shower she let utter silence fall upon her. She heard nothing else other than the sound of her breathing while she focused on the cool droplets running down her warm naked skin. It wasn't until a chill ran down her spine that she put her body into motion and reached out for a towel and wrapped herself in it.

Her limbs worked automatically without having to pay much attention into applying lotion or getting herself dressed into comfortable clothes. She came to the decision of turning her back against her own thoughts and stop thinking ahead to the conversation waiting outside the steamy bathroom. It was happening anyways so she would rather just go with the flow. She figured she was as ready as she would ever be. It was just a conversation, she reminded herself; a talk that they would have to have one way or another; a talk about the fears of their future and the compromises of really trusting each other.

When she stepped out of the bathroom she found Lea quietly waiting for her and fidgeting with her phone while sitting on the bed. She looked up the moment Dianna's figure appeared on her peripheral vision and flashed her what she thought was a small smile. In response she received, if it was possible, an even smaller smile. She sighed internally.

"Do you want to talk?" She nearly whispered. It was a fact that they were going to talk, but how exactly did they start? She spent the time that Dianna was in the shower to figure it out after she had stopped crying and wiped her face for any sign of tears, but pretty much everything sounded weird or awkward in her head. 'We need to talk' was dramatic and 'can we talk now?' seemed ridiculous since it was herself who kept postponing this entire thing. Starting to talk out of the blue seemed weird too so she figured that granting Dianna the decision was a good start.

Dianna nodded, "Yeah, let me just charge my phone."

She had pulled the charger out of her purse and plugged it by the desk facing the bed when she remembered her dress. Patting back into the bathroom she grabbed the now humid dress that had been forgotten next to a dry towel. She would have to let it dry before sending it to the washer.

Lea was still waiting for her by the time Dianna was ready so without talking she crawled onto bed and mirrored the brunette's position with her legs crossed.

It felt different than when they were out in the hallway. The air felt lighter and the silence wasn't as suffocating. At worst, it was a little awkward since none of them really knew how to proceed. Lea had left her phone aside but she still fidgeted with her empty hands while Dianna found herself staring at them as well.

"I guess I'll start." Dianna said at last, not really taking her eyes away from Lea's hands and catching glimpses of the black and blue ink on both of her wrists.

In heaven.

She found Lea waiting for her when she finally looked up and their eyes locked.

She let out a sigh before she began. "I feel like part of me understands why you decided to keep these insecurities to yourself… But it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt any less."

"I know, Dianna, you have no—"

"Wait. Let me just—I wanna finish saying this first." Her voice didn't hold a berating tone. She was feeling much more at ease finally sitting comfortably in front of Lea, but she also needed to get some things out there first.

"I was frustrated at you before because you kept avoiding the inevitable. We both knew we were going to have to talk about this but you only kept withdrawing further and further. And what you did hurt me because it made me feel like you didn't trust me enough, or even worse, you didn't feel like our relationship was strong enough to endure and answer a question like the one you kept having in your head. Even now all I truly want to do is my best to take that fear away from you. The last thing I would have ever wanted was to let you have doubts of our future together."

Her instincts screamed at her to get closer and so she listened to them. A few inches was all she needed before her eyes found Lea's again and continued. "But you know what hurt me even more, and that's something I got to learn from all this time we didn't talk to each other?"

She actually waited for Lea to ask her what it was. The brunette could only swallow and whisper, "What?"

"You thought that I would ever choose my career over you and that hurt me like you have no idea. It makes me feel like I failed. And because I failed to show you how much I truly love you, you entertained the idea of me ever leaving you for my job…" She frowned. "I mean, we pretty much have the same job. Should I be worried too?"

Lea shook her head quickly. "Not ever."

Dianna smiled a little at the response. "But see, this is not me demanding an apology from you, Lea. I just need you to know how I feel, but I also need to know what you think and how you feel as well. This is a relationship of two, love. And I need to know what's going on so that we can get through this together."

Lea inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly; taking in everything Dianna had said. Looking into hazel eyes she found nothing but love and care, and in that moment she wondered how much good she must have done in the world to deserve the human being sitting in front of her. Dianna wasn't judging her, or even telling her off for acting like a brat. She was simply stating how she felt and what she thought.

"Can I—is it my turn?" She still asked shyly.

Dianna nodded.

"I know you said you weren't demanding an apology but I still want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for acting the way I did last night; for avoiding this,"—she motioned the space between them with her hand—"for being an asshole in the hallway; but mostly I'm sorry that I made you believe that your love wasn't enough and that I didn't trust you."

"It's just, in my mind I never saw it that way nor did I think it would ever come to the point where I made you believe that. I had—have insecurities, and I sometimes feel like at the end of the day I won't be worth enough for you to stick around. I never told you this not because I didn't consider our relationship strong enough or because I didn't trust you, but because I felt like it was something that either I needed to figure out on my own or it just wasn't important enough to be brought up." Lea ran one of her hands through her hair as she thought of what to say next. She looked at Dianna for a second as she intently listened and waited for her to continue.

"Don't think it's something that torments me everyday though." She made clear. "It's just a thought that comes and goes once in a while…"

Silence came and they let it stay for a moment. Both of them processed each other's words in their minds so really neither was expecting the other to talk. The sound of a small intake of breath by Dianna made Lea look up from the string she had found on the comforter.

"I don't want to make you feel like you're not worth enough," Dianna frowned.

Lea reached out to take her hand in between her own. "No, hey, you make me feel like a princess… all the time. Like, like I'm the luckiest and happiest girl in the world. This is not something that you make me feel. It's something that my mind made up by itself. You have nothing to do with it, other than the fact that you have a breathtaking soul and an endless beauty that I can't compete with."

At that she felt Dianna squeeze her hand. "Don't. Stop belittling yourself. I can't hear those things without wanting to smack you."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? Because you're just as stunning; both inside and out. The two of us are lucky to have each other. We get to be with the person we love and to me that's enough."

"So what happens when we get to L.A.?"

"I can't predict the future. But one thing I can tell you right now is that I would never want to work in a place where I have to sacrifice my happiness. And you make me happy." She saw Lea smile just as her brown eyes became shiny from a new wave of welled up tears and her head lowered to hide them from Dianna.

"I know it's an exaggeration wanting to know everything that goes on in your head, but I want to be there for you as much as I know that you would be there for me. I want you to know that I feel as lucky as you do and that I love you; profoundly."

"I love you, too."

Lea laced her fingers with Dianna's before she took her hand up to her lips and kissed it sweetly. It made Dianna smile.

"We still have some weeks left of our 'honeymoon' as Naya so kindly put it," that earned a chuckle from Lea and a shake of her head. "We'll cross that huge bridge when we get there, but I want you to promise that if you ever have those kinds of thoughts again you'll tell me. I want to be able to help

Lea nodded, "I promise." She looked up and she felt like falling in love all over again. Her heart swelled with bursting affection and if it weren't because right now it was not the right time she would have tackled Dianna and kissed her senseless. She wondered how Dianna had grown up to be such a kind and understanding person.

"How are you feeling right now?" Dianna whispered at her. She had used her thumb to wipe a single tear that had rolled down Lea's cheek as she waited for a response.

Lea sighed tiredly. "I'm feeling better; lighter actually. I still feel bad for what happened earlier though, and I also fear that until we get to L.A. I will still be having these thoughts once in a while."

"If it makes you feel any better I'll say it. I forgive you. And it's understandable. We're living kind of in a bubble right now, don't you think? No one really knows us anywhere we go and we're by ourselves simply enjoying the time we have free, but there will be times when your mind brings up these fears again and that's when I want you to be able to tell me, so that I can know and be there for you."

"I promise I will… how are you feeling?"

Her hands played aimlessly with Lea's fingers as she thought of a response. "Better too. This definitely made me realize that no relationship is perfect, but I'm fine with that, as long as we communicate and get to fix things."

"Our first argument ever, huh?"

"Mhmm."

"Should we get a badge for that?" Lea joked before she could even help it but it succeeded on making a change to the air around them. Dianna chuckled and her smile managed to show the front row of her teeth this time. It was progress, Lea thought. Although what broke entirely the ice was Dianna's stomach asking for food. She groaned and face palmed not being able to remember when was the last time she had had actual food. Cranberry juice could only do much to distract the stomach.

"Have you eaten anything?"

"No, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast."

Lea then realized as well that she had only had breakfast that morning back in Paris and some water during her workout.

"Do you feel like going out or call room service?" Deep down she prayed that Dianna would choose room service because the day was starting to weight down on her and she didn't really have the energy to go out and search for a place with food.

"Room service, please."

Seconds later Lea was reaching out from her position towards the phone sitting on the bedside table as Dianna stood up to check on her dress. It was barely halfway dry. Not like she expected any better anyways. She heard Lea dial and talk to another person on the phone before she prompted, "Pick for me." She didn't feel like having to look over the menu, and she knew she wouldn't be have to be worried since Lea always knew what to get for her.

She checked her phone then and opened the saved draft she had written as a reply to Naya's text. She typed in a quick 'Not matching though. Listen to Etta James' At Last and you'll have a clue ;)' and hit send just as Lea hung up.

"I got you tomato basil pesto pasta, since I know you're hungry." The blonde's stomach made another noise just at the mere thought of it and she mentally applauded once again Lea's ability to choose something that made her mouth water.

Lea got off the bed and patted across the room towards Dianna.

"Can I hug you?"

Dianna tilted her head. "You don't have to ask."

She pulled at her hand and into her body and everything felt right. She wondered how it was that she had been able to go 24 hours without feeling Lea's body pressed against hers in one of the most humane ways possible. The way her arms circled around that slim waist and the way she felt her head naturally nuzzle the warm soft skin of Lea's neck; it all felt so familiar to her; it felt like home. She inhaled deeply the scent of her girlfriend just as the brunette did the same thing from under her neck. Dianna had missed her and she wasn't even aware of how much until now.

When they parted it was only a few inches because neither of them felt ready to lose all physical contact yet. They looked at each other before Dianna dared to lean down and peck her on the lips. Just once. A little taste would suffice for now. Or perhaps it would be two since Lea's mouth had other ideas and chased her own and kissed her again. It wasn't passionate or needy. It wasn't the type of kiss where you wanted to show them how much love you could put into it, nor was it a kiss that you knew would grow into something more. It was just that; a simple and lingering kiss where all you want to do is remember the taste of your partner's lips, and their shape and their feeling against your own; where all of your senses shut down and your brain and your heart can solely focus on it because nothing else around you matters anymore.

They pulled back completely after a couple of seconds, agreeing without words that it wasn't the moment for anything else. Both of them felt weary and all they wanted to do was eat something and call it a night. Tomorrow would be a day they could look forward to although it would take time for them to build up their bubble once again.

This time though, both knew that they would build it stronger.