A.N.: Okay, my head hurts like hell, and I'm listening to New Divide.

Lex: Well, that's nasty.

Onyx: Have you even heard of somebody who can calm down while listening to heavy metal? Not that New Divide is that heavy, but still…

Lex: … -.-

Onyx: Now you do. :D

Okay, the REAL story starts here. The last chapter was a complete waste of time, but I'm inclined to believe it's more like a prologue. Oh, whatever.

BTW time.

Most of this chapter has been dictated to me by Lex. I'm not a masochist. -.-

"text" - thoughts

"(text)" - side glances made by the author or the character, in this chapter I also wrote our dialogue in Romanian, and the text put into brackets is the translation. I bet you couldn't figure that one out.

"(text)" - Lex and Onyx being... Lex and Onyx.

Recap: Lex ran headfirst into Naruto. (All hail Oana, the Goddess of Recaps.)

Lex's P.O.V.

Aw, my head hurts. I just head butted Naruto. Whoopdie-doo.

"Hey, te deranjeaza daca ma ajuti putin? Nu-i vina mea ca ai cap de pepene… (Hey, would you mind helping me a bit ? Not my fault you got a big ass head…)" I said, grunting. My head really hurt, but this guy didn't seem like having any problem. Wait, scratch that. Now he looks like I'm speaking Russian.

"W-well, I…"

"Happy birthday."

I whirled around, and came, as expected, face-to-face with Oana. "Unde erai?!? (Where have you been?!)"

"Am platit ce aveam de platit, inteligento. (I payed for our stuff, smartass.)"

"A, ma rog… Nu e ziua mea. (Oh, whatever… and it's not my birthday.)"

"Nu vorbeam cu tine. (I wasn't talking to you.)"

"Were you talking to ME?" The Naruto guy said, perplexed. "How did you know it was my birthday?"

I was still on the ground, my head darting back and forth to look at Naruto, then at Oana. I couldn't comprehend what was going on. I'm a little bit slow-minded, ya know. First of all, what in the world was a cosplayer doing in Mega Image? Second, he was speaking English. I can't imagine a cosplayer that good (he really resembled Naruto) having any business in our shithole of a country. I grunted, feeling the bump on my forehead, and looked at Oana.

She stood completely still, blinking now and then, but confusion was obvious in her eyes. My mouth widened in a lop-sided grin, and I suddenly jumped up, one of my fingers pointing at her. I mean, like, the witch is actually bemused. For real, I mean. My cousin can be pretty idiotic, but she's never that confused. 'Cos, it's like, nothing really sparks her interest. Boring prick. And she thinks she's Buddha Junior. I hope she dies with all her witty genius shoved up her ass. (Oana: Gee, thanks Lex. -.- Lex: Don't mention it.) Oh, shoot. The witch is about to talk. Man, I really hate it when people understand what's going on and I don't.

"Naruto Databook."

Um, yeah. Nevermind.

"You know my name!! Who the hell are you? Wait, are you from Akatsuki??"

WTF??

"Yeah."

I gulped, and looked up at Oana, and noticed one corner of her mouth was slightly tilted upwards. (Oana: Okay, seriously, you're turning me into Sasuke. Lex: …So? Shut up and write what I say.) Time for me to jump into action. Although I didn't quite have an actual plan.

"Hey, you, you have a nice costume." I settled on English, since it was obvious this guy was an outsider. I saw Oana slapping her forehead, and chuckled happily, knowing I had disrupted her plans.

"H-huh?" Okay, this really couldn't get any more confusing.

"Make a rasengan." Oana said, bored. I knew she wasn't really bored. She wanted to understand what was going on as much as I did.

"Here? Are you crazy?" The guy spluttered.

I frowned. This kid really wanted us to believe he can make a rasengan, or what? I looked at Oana, and she was looking back at me with a slightly amused expression. "Fine then, let's take this outside." I said.

We made our way through the mass of noisy people, and exited through the same big ass doors which, I admit, I kinda liked. I mean, it's funny to confuse the system by going in and out, and also annoying the people which tried to enter or exit the supermarket. The cosplayer seemed to like them as much as I did, staring at them in awe, then regaining his composure when he noticed we were looking at him. He then took in the surroundings, an impossibly confused frown taking over his face. I took advantage of this to talk to Oana.

"Ai idee ce se intampla? (Got any ideas?)" I whispered, though I knew it wasn't necessary.

Her eyes narrowed. "Nu. Poate ca un portal inter-stelar a decis sa se deschida si sa ii aduca pe astia din Naruto la noi in oras. (No. Maybe an inter-stellar portal decided to open and bring the Naruto world in our town.)"

I grinned at my cousin's bluntness and thought a bit about it. "Da. Poate ca asta e. (Yeah. Maybe that's it.)" I shoved my hands into my pockets, not wanting to show how much this actually unnerved me. I saw Oana placing her hands at the back of her head in a casual gesture, but I knew she only did that when she wanted to think.

Naruto was warily following us when I decided to give him a bit of attention. "Hey, how about we go into a small park and you show us your technique there?"

"Okay," he said, a bit unsure. I knew he didn't trust us, just as we didn't trust him. Oana looked at me, as if questioning my plan. I nodded my head in the small park's direction, and wandered there, Oana and Naruto closely following.

When we reached it I immediately settled on the grass, Oana alongside me. I couldn't lie down completely, because my long hair gets dirty quickly, and it's a pain in the ass to wash it every time me and Oana go out. (Oana: Oana and I. :D Lex: Haha, Naruto Abridged. XD) This is one of our favourite activities, and it's funny, because it kinda remembers me about Shikamaru and Chouji. Okay, it's not that funny, because I'd take Chouji's role. Damn.

Naruto was standing a foot away from us, seemingly waiting for an explanation. I heard Oana sigh, and I motioned for him to do his job, mimicking his movements when he made rasengan. He narrowed his eyes and pointed to us. "You said you're from the Akatsuki! Why should I trust you?" He said loudly. Thank god we were in a secluded place.

"We're not from the Akatsuki. Oana's being an idiot," I said, rolling my eyes "now will you show us the technique or not?"

Naruto put one hand on top of his head, while the other one was supporting his hip. He looked like he was thinking hard about something. "Well, I'm not so sure about that… Akatsuki or not, I can't just go around showing off my super awesome technique! Err…"

I grabbed my head in distress and looked pleadingly to Oana. She was far better at smooth talking than I was. She caught my stare and her eyes glinted. That really scares me sometimes.

"Y'seem pretty positive 'bout it," Oana said, raising her eyebrow (which also scares me) in a sardonic gesture, "so why not show it off?"

Naruto frowned. "I know it's awesome, but… I can't show it to you!"

"ORLY?" Oana's catchphrase.

"Really! Err… I…"

"Y'know what? I believe you're not sure if yo' technique is as awesome as ya think… Are ya afraid that we won't be very impressed?" Oana sluggishly spoke, as she usually did when she didn't mean her words.

"What? Oh, screw it, I'm gonna show you my rasengan in all it's awesomeness!!" Naruto confidently planted his feet in the ground and brought his hands close to each other, as if holding a ball. His teeth clenched and a gush of wind hit us all, while the space between Naruto's hands was casually filling with a blue, gaseous substance. The substance frizzled and shifted as the wind blew, slowly but surely taking a round shape. Naruto deliberately made it slow, noticing the silence that engulfed the small park. The small, blue ball in Naruto's hands made a faint, dull noise, like the wind blowing through a dense forest.

And then I fainted.

Yay, chapter done. 1,656 words, this is so UBELIEVABLE, EVEN NARUTO CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Ahem.

Naruto: -head pokes from behind the door- What?

Lex: Nothing. BTW people, I deserve a review, 'cos I created all this. Onyx just wrote it. *3*

Onyx: Whatever, I'm not asking you guys to review. Nu-uh. I know it's a pain in the ass… No, I'm not going to ask you.

Lex: You're not speaking sluggishly… XD

Onyx: … ¬///¬.