Onyx: Sorry for making you wait, but every time I opened Microsoft Word to write it came to me that I made it to chapter 6. I mean, like, CHAPTER SIX people! Chapter six… -psychotic-

Lex: … Yeah.

Soacra-Mea: -opens his mouth to say something-

Lex: -turns around- YOU!

Soacra-Mea: -disappears in a POOF-

Lex: -hysterics-

Recap:

A gasp echoes through the room, and Mary releases Deidara (luckily for him), turning back to see who just dared to interrupt her bonding moment. Her eyes scan the room, squinting at Lex and Oanna in particular, and after that her eyes lock onto Sasuke, widening.

"… SASUKE! O,O … Wait, Sasuke?"

Lex and Oanna P.O.V.
(they think about the same thing)

Oh please, no.

This is not happening. Why now, and why here?! WHY? Okay, calm down. Inhale, exhale. What's the big deal, you ask? Well, that's simple. A murder is about to be committed in my house.

Mary's P.O.V.

"…Wait, Sasuke?" I yell, suddenly seeing red before my eyes. Hatred washes through me, and I have a feeling blood is going to be spilled. I look at my two friends and they look like they feel the same. I charge at Sasuke, and… I stop abruptly.

I look at him dumbfounded, because he's sitting there looking just as dumbfounded as me. I expected him to at least narrow his eyes or something! But noooo, he has to be sitting there like he doesn't have a clue and make me stop my attack. 'That's not cool at all. Wait, ahahahah!' I start laughing in his face, already knowing he won't snap at me for doing so. And that's exactly what I find so funny.

Imagine Sasuke sitting on the floor with a '?' plastered all over his face, his hair and clothes in disarray and looking totally harmless. Dude, he looks like he has just been raped or something.

I place a hand over my mouth to stop myself from guffawing like crazy. This couldn't get any funnier. I abandon my plan of murdering Sasuke, starting on a new one instead. A plan consisting of how to dress Sasuke like a Lolita. With all the ribbons and laces 'n stuff. Yea that'd be cool.

I rush out, and head straight to my car.

Lex's P.O.V.

Oookay. So.

Let's see. Deidara came out of the washing machine. Then Sasuke came out of it, and then Mary glomped Deidara without getting killed, yelled at Sasuke, didn't kill him (wow) and ran out of the house.

Um, yeah.

Better start explaining as soon as I can so blood doesn't get spilled. I start my speech, saying everything as fast as I can.

"So Deidara, you may not have a clue of what's happening but we do because you see, Naruto came here before you and that's because you guys have been teleported here but we don't know why, all we know is that this is for you an alternate universe and yes I know it's hard to believe and also please don't kill anyone, we should all make peace and be friendly with each other if you guys want to survive. Same with you, Sasuke." I take a deep breath, sweat forming on my forehead. "Oh and, Deidara, please don't kill Naruto right now. You'll have plenty of time to do that after you leave this universe."

They don't seem very convinced. At least Deidara doesn't, 'cos Sasuke's just sitting there looking out of place.

"… Please?" I add, putting on the kicked puppy look. I know it ain't gonna fool anyone, but still it's worth a try.

Deidara sighs and slumps his shoulders in defeat. "Urgh, it's okay I guess." Wow, I didn't expect him to give up so soon.

I turn to Naruto, high fiving him, and then to Sasuke, a questioning look appearing on my face. He just looks up at me, and cracks a small, clueless smile. Cute! Ahem. I look back to Naruto with my dear three dots over my head. His dots appear too. Yay, I love this body language that we share!

… That sounded wrong.

I look at Oanna, making sure that she can notice my dots, and in response the corners of her mouth drop extremely low and her eyebrows raise, making me laugh. She looks like a dead fish who has been scared out of its skull.

Oanna shoos Deidara out of the room, telling him to go look for Mary, ignoring his protests which contain words like 'not me' and 'crazy bimbo'. I laugh; it would have been funny if Mary heard that.

Time to talk to Sasuke. I focus all my attention of him, trying to understand the state he is in. Is he amnesic or something? He certainly looks like it. "I, um…" I stutter, not really knowing what to say. My eyes dart to Oanna, and she shrugs.

"So, uh, what's your name?" I lamely ask Sasuke, and to my surprise he just shrugs and beams at me. I snicker at his expression; that's something you don't get to see every day. Even Naruto looks amused.

"Do you know where you are?" He shrugs, as expected. I blink, a large smile forming on my face.

"Would you like some candy?" Oanna asks, grinning, and I guffaw loudly. "Your hair is ugly." I state proudly, laughing. We both continue making remarks at him, getting blinks, smiles and shrugs in response.

Deidara enters the room, obviously horrified. "Your house is a disaster." He says, his lips curling in disgust.

"Princess." I mutter, hoping he didn't hear me.

"What?!" He yells, enraged.

"Noooothing."

"I'm hungry." For the first time in that day Sasuke decided to speak. I immediately whirl around, staring disbelievingly at him. His voice is sexy. No, wait! What did I just think about?! "Then go eat." I say quickly, trying to erase the previous thoughts from my head. I'm supposed to be Itachi's fangirl! Man this is screwed up. I start slapping myself.

"…" He stares at me. Damn, he has dots too. Unfair.

"Urgh, I mean…"

Suddenly Mary barges into the room, carrying a bag filled with random clothes. I can make out some laces and ribbons similar to the loli fashion style. I wouldn't wear that, but it would look pretty on the guys. A mischievous grin stretches on my face.

It seems like Mary is thinking the same thing, because she heads straight to Sasuke and starts picking at his hair, trying to tie it with some pink ribbons. He struggles a bit, looking startled, but then Mary starts playing with his hair to calm him down. Sensing no threat, he lets her do her job, completely unaware of Mary's evil plans.

We all laugh and go downstairs to grab something to eat. As if on cue, the doorbell rings and I rush to the door to open it and find an obviously scared pizza boy standing there. I guess this is the guy who had his life threatened by Mary. I grin like a psycho at him, and in the moment I give him the cash he bolts out the door, scared for life. I laugh and go back to the living room giving everyone a box.

"Go and get some napkins." Oanna tells me and I head to the kitchen, finding a stack on the table. I hear laughing coming from the living room. I hurry back to find Oanna laughing and Naruto and Deidara with funny looks plastered on their faces.

"What's the problem?"

"Ask them." Oanna says, and I look at the guys, confused.

"Is this poisoned?" Naruto asks cautiously. I laugh, "You have never eaten pizza before, have you?" I snicker.

"How the hell do you eat this, anyway?" Deidara asks, annoyed.

"With your hand, ma'am." I say, and Oanna cackles loudly. Naruto snickers a bit, but then Deidara throws us all a deadly glare and we shut up.

After some time Mary enters the room proudly, a loli-clad Sasuke trotting behind her with a confused look on his face. I fall out of my egg-shaped chair, with pizza all over me, and roll on the floor laughing, clutching my sides. Pepperoni got stuck in my hair but I couldn't care less.

Oanna throws her pizza box aside, all of it landing in Deidara's face, and gets up to retrieve her camera from a backpack in the hall. She comes back, camera in hand, and starts taking various pictures. I push Naruto and Deidara up and throw them towards Sasuke, so Oanna can get a picture with all of us. Pizza is laying forgotten all over the room, some of it in my and Deidara's hair.

"Whoops, battery depleted. Damn." Oanna says, disappointed.

Sasuke escapes from Mary's clutch and starts taking the ribbons out of his hair, obviously horrified by our actions. He then starts taking the loli clothes off and Oanna clamps a hand over my eyes to keep me from seeing an almost naked Sasuke. Hey, not fair! I let out a surprised squeak and start fighting her hand off.

"Hey, I'm fourteen already!" I say angrily.

In response she gives me a look as if saying "Why do you want to see him naked so much?" and I avoid her eyes, finding the distorted pizza at my feet very interesting. I mean, it's not my fault he grew up and became quite hot, so give me a break! But I'd never admit that. Oanna notices my internal battle and gives me a sly look. I roll my eyes in return.

"You had the same reaction when you saw the waterfall scene in the 'Bonds' movie, so shut up." I whisper to her.

"Do you see me ogling?" She raises her eyebrow, smirking amusedly at me.

"Well now of course you aren't, but I'm going to catch you eventually." I say mischievously, narrowing my eyes at her.

She shrugs. "Whatever; I'm straight." She says, grinning, and leers openly at the now boxers-clad Sasuke to prove her point. He gives us both a confused look, Deidara seems bored and Naruto is enraged, sputtering things about how Sasuke is always getting all the girls. "Don't worry, I still love you." Mary says, patting Naruto's arm, and he cracks an awkward (and a bit scared) smile.

"And I love yooou!" I say, clutching Deidara's arm and snuggling into his side. "B'cosh ure preeeetty." Deidara's face now resembles Willy Wonka when Violet hugs him at the beginning of the movie, and I laugh at him.

Everybody looks expectantly at Oanna, especially Sasuke, who looks dejected since it seems like nobody loves him anymore.

"I, uhh… I love Soacra-Mea." She says, and retrieves a plush yellow bunny from the couch, gripping it so hard the poor thing almost ripped. Wait, poor? This is Soacra-Mea we're talking about! I roar, and charge at Oanna and her annoying yellow bunny which pisses me off. I grab it from her and was about to rip it to shreds if she didn't grab it back, hugging it protectively.

"Really, why do you like that rag doll so much?" I say, rubbing my temples.

"Why do you hate it so much? It's not like the bunny's alive." Oanna say amused.

"Cos Lex's a big bad Nazi, that's why." Mary points out off-handedly.

I can feel myself turning red with rage and I whirl around to come face-to-face with Mary. "Don't ever say that again." I say with a bit more venom than I intended.

Mary narrows her eyes. "Dude, you look like an emotionally-scared psycho who lost her family or something." She says a bit peeved.

"Ladies, no need to fight." Naruto says, trying to get us to calm down. We become silent; Mary lets out a huff and I nod, as if saying that there's no need to continue this fight.

We stay in awkward silence, as if waiting for something to happen. It had worked every time before. Well, seems like silence works right now too, because a tumble is heard from upstairs.

Don't tell me someone else had come out of the washing machine.

Onyx: 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory' is property of Roald Dahl/Tim Burton. Go watch the movie if you don't wanna read the book. They're both epic. -hearts- Oh, and Soacra-Mea is jewish, because I have bought him from Israel. Hope that explains everything.

Mary: -barfs at the thought of a naked Sasuke- You traitor! -points to Lex- What about Itachi? You're supposed to hate Sasuke, damnit.

Lex: Well, beside the face lines, they pretty much look the same. -coy smile-

Mary: -keeps barfing-

Lex: Oanna, some help?!

Onyx: Uhh... people, we're not really Sasuke fangirls. Okay, he's one hot piece of meat in Shippuuden, but his attitude sucks balls. So, IDK who should make his/her entrance next. You decide.

Lex: Me?

Onyx: No.

Soacra-Mea: ME? –sparkles-

Onyx: NO. The readers. Also, Str4wbewy, you guessed right. Congratz! If you have a character you would like me to add into the story, please say so. Here's a… cupcake. I don't like cookies. Cupcakes are more tasty and pretty and colorful… Yay.

Lex: Yay!

Soacra-Mea: Yay!

Lex: -death glare-

Onyx: … Yeah. So ppl. IDK when the next chapter is coming out, because I have made some plans for a SasuNaru oneshot. Keep an eye on it if you like SasuNaru. It also contains Sakura bashing, yay!

Lex: Yay!

Soacra-Mea: Ya--- -is hit by Lex-

Onyx: -heartbroken-