A/N: Thanks for all the lovely comments!

Chapter nineteen) Presents

Loki had wanted to say more, but hadn't been granted the chance as Thor pulled Loki along to the room where everyone was gathered. On the coffee table were seven separately wrapped presents, standing upright like books would, the numbers one to seven written on the spine of the books.

"These are all for you, brother. Sit down and start at one."

He hesitated for the longest of moments, for he was now in the center of attention and he didn't want to be, not even in the slightest. He hated this, everyone looking at him, seeing what he was doing and what was happening. Tony came to sit beside him on the couch and he placed a hand on the God's knee, cracking a smile at him. "Go on, open the first one." Everything just got more awkward at that, as now everyone was staring at Tony's hand too and probably thinking mutliple things that Loki didn't want to know.

Loki did as he was told and took the first book from the table. He took the wrapping paper off and revealed a book that he already knew, the book that he had been reading and had loved so terribly. "I don't know if you're staying, but if you are, Loki, then this is to get you used to Midgardian literature... and if you are going, then it is for you to remember it," Tony spoke, though it was clear it hurt him somewhat to say the latter. They hadn't discussed his possible departure after all. "Open it."

Loki did, revealing writing on the very first, blank page:

Dear Loki,

Congratulations with redeeming your magic, now you can play more tricks on me. Thanks for saving me and all that jazz. I can't wait to show you where the magic truly happens.

Love,

Tony

Loki shut the book again and kept his eyes on it, which was now truly his. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't used to showing gratitude and frankly couldn't get himself to say it with all these people around. "Go on, open the next," Tony smiled and Loki put the book down on the couch beside him, reaching out to the second book which he revealed by tearing off the paper. 'The Chamber of Secrets'.

Loki,

Congratulations. I know you already have finished this, but my children wanted you to have it. I hope that our next meeting will be non-existent, or at least be in a long time. Unless you decide to come round for a cup of tea. If that is the case, you are welcome.

Agent Phoebe Dirx of S.H.I.E.L.D.

On the page it had a few scribbles that must have been made by the agent's children. He read his name a few times and there were things that looked like stick figures. He had no idea what to say, but he was grateful. He'd never received presents, especially not anything he actually liked, unless it was something to do with a rank in Asgard. He was usually quite pleased with the power he was granted there.

The third was from Steve and didn't say much. 'Thanks for helping out. Well done. I'd like to work with you again. Steve.' was all it said and more than Loki'd expected. Well, he'd not expeted anything. It was most likely forced onto all of them by Tony, so it didn't mean so much... but they had done it and that truly surprised him.

The next was from Natasha and it said something about Loki needing to make it clear to the Silver Demon that they truly were not dating, nor in love, nor interested in any way. He found it amusing, for all their words had a kind undertone to it, a slight accepting undertone, even...

The fifth book was from Clint; the Order of the Phoenix and said nothing. He was quite grateful for that too, as it would simply have been awkward after the short, but fiery, discussion they'd had before.

The sixth was from Bruce:

Loki,

Please try to avoid life-threatening situations in the future. Thank you and well done.

Bruce

Loki found it kind that they had all put effort into these messages and he turned to Tony, knowing the last one was from Thor, as it must be. He was overwhelmed by all of this, by the fact that people, except Clint of course, had written something for him, even though it was only short. He was even overwhelmed by the fact that Tony realised how much he loved these books and that he now had them all! He couldn't wait to continue to read them.

He, nervously, opened the last book and saw that there was a letter stuck inside the book. Ah, Thor had written a novel. He'd read that another time, for now he felt too nervous to concentrate on the words and he knew that Thor would understand. He didn't want to spend ages reading a letter and then not dare to say anything, or not know what to say.

"So, that should keep you off the streets for a while longer," Tony said, probably realizing Loki wasn't going to say anything and wanting to ease his suffering by making up for the silence. He looked at Tony, the gratitude probably clear in his eyes to the Engineer, but not to the rest of them. He didn't want the others to know how much this meant to him, after all. On the other hand, he didn't want to be rude and come across like he simply ignored all their effort. They'd reached out to him and he would be wise to accept this and respond to it, no matter the difficulty he had in doing so. Yet, he had no idea what to do or say. No words seemed the right ones.

"You don't have to say anything," Tony said then, probably realizing Loki's struggles perfectly well. Thor would too, but he probably didn't quite know how to resolve the situations. He was quite the one for good manners, after all, and Loki wasn't showing any at the moment.

"I do," Loki replied then, not yet looking at anyone but Tony. "I do need to say something, but I feel you-" and with that he looked around the rest of the group, ensuring that they understood they were included in the 'you' "-have momentarily rendered me speechless." Even Clint seemed to understand that making a snide remark in return to that wasn't such a good idea and thus he kept his 'a simple thank you would've done' to himself. "Excuse me," Loki then spoke a moment later, when it became apparent no one was going to reply to his words. He stood up, taking the letter from Thor with him and stepped to his room. He had the feeling he didn't want to read this, but at the same time it was as good an excuse as any to leave the room.

When he found himself alone he let out a sigh of relief, though he knew everything was far from over. Things just seem to get more and more awkward around here and he knew, for a fact, they'd not had their last row, nor their worst. He would fall again and again and he would have to be stopped each time, he knew that. He needed to be taken down, just like the Silver Demon had been. Thus, he could never rise to the power he was supposedly to reach. The power he had been promised through nights and nights of torture; power he believed he wanted, but knew deep down was nothing more than a prosperous nightmare of a man he'd never happily be.

Loki looked down at Thor's letter that he had put lots of effort into, by the looks of it, for his handwriting was quite neat and small. There were lots of pages. Though, he didn't actually want to read the letter, for Thor was here. Why would he want to read something, that'd make him think of Thor, while Thor was present and he didn't even want to think of Thor?

Moments later, he found himself stuffing the letters away in the bedside table. He'd imagined himself tearing it up and throwing it on the floor in lots of tiny little pieces and he didn't want to. He figured he'd keep it safe from himself, while he turned to curling up on the bed. Without as much as a knock, the door opened and by the sound of the footsteps, he knew it was Thor and he shot upright in bed. "Brother," Thor spoke, walking to Loki's bedside. He sat down on the edge, then turned towards him. "You are doing well, tonight."

"No, I'm not," Loki sneered. "I hate this, I hate it all, I don't want them here, nor you. I want everyone to just leave me alone, nobody likes me anyway."

"That's not true," Thor replied, leaning towards Loki. He cupped his brother's head in his hands and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, which Loki found quite inappropriate, but Thor evidently didn't. "You are doing a great job." Loki sighed at that, though realized Thor would not change his mind anyway.

"Just because I haven't tried to kill anyone doesn't mean I'm doing a good job," he replied. Besides, if this was doing a good job, he wondered how much more pain he needed to go through before he'd finally be accepted. Every single thing he was doing he was doing against his will, after all and it was starting to become quite impossible. It all seemed so useless. He had Tony and he didn't want anyone else.

Thor sat down beside him, looking at the nightstand for a moment, almost as if he knew that was where the letter had gone. Loki felt a pang of guilt, though it was easily ignored when he reminded himself just how often Thor had been the cause of his pain, jealousy and hatred. He wondered whether he had mentioned it in the letter and whether he even wanted to find out if he had. "Brother," Thor spoke, trying to gain Loki's attention that was clearly straying all over the place, but towards him. "I know you are fearful of them. You started out as their enemy, it is expected. Besides this, you are fearful of most, are you not?"

"Why would I be scared?" Loki replied, rolling his eyes, though realizing perfectly well that Thor was right and that he, again, had made an observation Loki wished he was too stupid for.

"You are afraid that you'll do or say something that will have them laughing. You are fearful that you might do the wrong things and lose what respect you have. Their judgement, in short, is what you are scared of."

"I don't care what they think of me, why would their judgement matter a thing?" Loki asked.

"Maybe you care more for what they think than you are aware of yourself," Thor said, after which he followed, "besides, you care what Tony thinks of you and they are his friends." Ah, that stung. That stung badly, as Loki knew exactly where Thor dug up such accusations. It was one of those things Loki had bluntly yelled out when he was still young and inexperienced and Thor had once again asked him to join something he didn't want to join in on, while simultaneously he was terrified of not being a part of.

"Whatever," he spoke, when he couldn't find himself to lie to Thor. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just be blunt to everyone so they all thought nothing of him and he could get on like he always did? But he didn't want that... All he wanted was to be the good person Tony saw him as, to everyone.

"It's important to know where your feelings come from, so you can solve your problems," Thor spoke, his voice sounding sweet, but his words sounding very accusing.

"I don't have problems, Thor," he sneered, though he didn't look into his brother's eyes when he did.

"Many things in the past have gone wrong that I wish to turn right, but I can't, for you won't accept any of my apologies or words of help, care or reassurance," Thor spoke. "I'm putting effort into trying to get you happy and you ju-"

"Maybe I don't want to!" Loki then shouted, his eyes full of fear and Thor found himself wondering why, though when Loki's eyes teared up, he figured out the reason. "Maybe I don't want to go through the hassle of trying something and failing anyway. It's in my nature, Thor, King of Asgard. You were always meant to win and I was always meant to lose. To you. That's how our lives were, that's how it always will be."

"That's not true, brother," Thor spoke, shaking his head. "That's not true at all."

"Oh, but it is, you are merely blessed by the capability to remain blind to it. That is something else, Thor."

"Loki, your truth has never strung well with mine and we might never know who of us is right. All I'm saying is that this way of thinking will not get you anywhere. It will not help you."

"I've tried everything, Thor," Loki replied. "I've gone to every length to try and change who I am, but that's the point. This is who I am," he said, voice softer now. "I am the God of Mischief. I am bound to go against other's morale and therefore I am bound to be disliked. It is my destiny to show what true goodness is, by not being it. I'm your opposition, don't you see? You are good, because I am evil."

Thor let out a soft sigh and pulled his brother closer, his arms wrapping around him. "You mean that if you were to be able to live as a good person, I would need to change?" Thor asked and Loki nodded, his face pressed against Thor's shoulder in his brother's firm grip. He hesitantly took hold of Thor in response. "I am King now, Loki, I cannot change who I am."

"I am destined to suffer," Loki stated. "It is why I chose to take my life, but I was stopped over and over. My suffering will lead me to evil, over and over, unless I kill you and rid myself of my opposite," Loki said, having moved out of the embrace. "Obviously I can't," he reassured. Thor didn't know what to say and tried to hold his brother closer, but Loki objected. "I've played this part for so long, it's fine. I can play it for the rest of eternity," Loki spoke as Thor made no move towards trying to find a way in which Loki would no longer need to be this way.

"You need to find happiness in another place. Perhaps we should never see each other again," Thor replied.

"No, it doesn't work like that," Loki replied, never seeing Thor anymore, would have been a great idea to Loki mere months ago, but he couldn't let go of the only one who knew truly of his makings. "I found happiness here, though I'm still not fulfilled. There is no cure."

"Perhaps you should try it for longer, with your magic back, perhaps you should stay here with Tony," Thor replied. It relieved him to hear it coming from Thor's lips before he needed to speak them himself. He could now even pretend that he hadn't been thinking of it before, but he knew that Thor would look through it, would he pretend.

"That is what I want," Loki replied, but before he could continue Thor interrupted him.

"You will have to come to Asgard with me, before you return here," he replied. "You will have to ask the All-father, for I cannot make this decision on my own. You are a danger still, you say it yourself. With your magic in the middle of all these people, it might go wrong."

"It will go wrong," Loki replied, looking down at the ground. "Thor," he said then, remembering clearly what he had felt when looking into the reflection in the bathroom. "I want my immortality, but I do not want my magic now." Thor seemed surprised at that and Loki was surprised that he'd managed to bring himself to saying it. "I want to be with Tony." And that.

"I understand, my brother," Thor spoke and Loki knew he was being taken seriously. "I think this is a deal that can ensure your stay on Midgard."

"There's just one thing," Loki said then, looking up at Thor. "Just one night. I need my magic for one night. Tomorrow you may take it before you return to Asgard. I do not wish to come with you." Thor considered this, but before he confirmed or declined he asked a question of himself:

"What will you need it for?" Thor asked.

"Is that not a question too personal?" Loki asked, one eyebrow raising as he looked at Thor, who suddenly seemed quite amused, and slightly disgusted at the same time.

"I need to make sure you will not harm anyone," Thor stated then.

Loki laughed softly. "It's only Tony- Now stop invading my privacy," he spoke and for this short moment, it felt like the old times, when they were younger, like they were equals, brother and brother...

"Okay, okay," Thor spoke, his hands moving up to his ears, as if he was already pretending not to listen in. "I'll get Heimdall to-"

"No!" Loki spoke, his hand raising. "No," he said, shaking his head. He got up from the bed. "Now, will you leave?" he asked Thor, wanting to be alone again.

"No, you're coming with me," he said and grabbed Loki, flinging him towards the door. Even with their magic, Thor was stronger. "You're going to have to make the best of that magic now you've still got it," Thor winked.

And oh, did he... He casually managed to turn Barton's drinks into snakes quite a few times and made one go up Natasha's dress, which he found particularly amusing. Pretending he had nothing to do with his tricks was what he was best at. The victims weren't laughing, but the rest truly were and he spent almost the entire night with Tony's arm around his waist, which he thought was very nice, despite how he didn't like to admit that he liked anyone's company, let alone Tony's, who was supposed to be someone he hated.