…'Meyer' made the mold…but we are all here to break it…lol…

Chapter 5

TEN MINUTES later Tanya was laughing so hard she could barely breathe, and she thought she might pee herself.

"Okay…wait…wait! Let me get this straight. You're telling me…my friend who has not had intercourse in so many years…that Mr. Fuck-Me-Now-Cullen…the guy that you've fantasized about for just under two decades…was just suddenly there behind you…and you fell right on top of him?" A tiny tear escaped the corner of her eye, she was laughing so hard. "And then…then you rub all over his privates…more than once…accidentally…then he was at your rescue…gorgeous and flirting all up in your space!"

Bella was not amused by her friend's reaction.

It was embarrassing enough already.

Bitch…

"Yes, Tanya…he was all up on me." Bella's snark had arrived. "So you can see why I had to lick him…"

Wait for it…

"What? You hussy. I knew it…I knew you had it in you. How could you keep something like that inside for so long?" Tanya was speechless.

Now it was Bella's turn to crack up at her friend. "Oh my god, T-Dog! You should see your face right now!"

Tanya swatted at Bella's arm a little.

"Look…I'm going to take my awesome drink into the living room and get the girls set up in there. Holler if you need my help. But just know, girl, that I have a feeling about all of this. Something is up…"

Rising up off her stool, Tanya stretched her legs a bit and continued devilishly, "…and, hopefully, whatever it is will be all up in your vajayjay…soon!" And with that comment successfully out of her mouth she snickered at her embarrassed friend and race out of the kitchen, moving toward to front living room.

The doorbell rang.

"I'll get that, Bella." Tanya yelled. She took a sip of her drink, loving the cool mint flavor, and turned towards the front door. As she reached the knob and opened it wide, her drink sputtered from her mouth…again, but this time all over a box the person on the other side held to his chest…

…Edward Grab-Me-and-Kiss-Me-Cullen…

Wow! Bella wasn't kidding when she said he'd taken her breath away. He was stunning…the epitome of all that was sexy in a man…and he was standing there, just as lazy as could be, like he had been there, on Bella's doorstep, plenty of times before. And those dimples…ouch! Those could really mess with a girl.

She kept staring, her jaw dropping a little each second that she continued staring. It seems her cool has left the building.

Edward just stood there…smiling…and watched her…staring…at him.

.

.

He laughed, and shifted a little.

.

.

Tanya giggled.

.

.

.

…giggled...

…um…what the hell…

Tanya blinked several times and took a deep breath.

"Hey there…um, Edward, right?" She straightened out her shoulders, focused now, and began to work her magic. "Yeah, I remember you. We went to school together, remember. Or, I mean…the same school…but, uh…not at the same time. I'm Tanya Cole, Bella's best friend." Tanya smiled as brightly as she could, having the feeling that this was her one chance to lend a helping hand in her girlfriend's love life, and put her hand out in greeting, but noticed that he did not have a free hand to return the gesture.

And Edward remembered Tanya all right…especially that she loved to have an encouraging, albeit sometimes unwanted impact, in people's lives.

Clearing his throat, he smiled at her outstretched hand as his muscles in his arms flexed, still holding the box, "Of course I remember you." He grinned lopsided at her, "Hi, Tanya, how have you been? My mom tells me that you have the best radio show in the region. I'm sure that must bring you some very interesting if not amusing moments at times."

He smiled again and waited.

Tanya just stared…again…and murmured more for herself than for him, "If walls could talk..."

She stares.

…how in the hell did Bella not just girl-tackle his ass…

He clears his throat, nodding at the heavy box he is holding. "Um, I have a drop-off to deliver from Rembrandt's. Is Bella around? My mother said she wouldn't mind it being so late."

Tanya smiled, like suddenly she and his mother were in the same boat together paddling hard up the same stream.

She looks over her shoulder quickly and then turns back to Edward and points with her thumb behind her, "Oh! Yeah, um…uh, let me get her. I was…ah…just headed out for the night with her…ah…her girls!"

…she is going to kill me…

Taking a few steps backwards, she continued, "You know…um…babysitting…in a way, except longer. Sleep-over. Yes! That's what I do for my girl sometimes…have sleep-overs. I'll be back. You just wait right here, don't move." Abruptly, Tanya spun on her heal and raced quickly up the stairs, not to the kitchen where Bella was. She had to gather June and Rosey and make a get-away fast.

Breathless, she rushed as she entered June's messy room, "Girls! We've had a change of plans. Just the three of us are going to my house for a sleep-over…isn't that fantastic!" She jumped a little, trying to make it sound more exciting than it probably was and began gathering night clothes and stuffed animals like a bat out of hell.

June jumped up and down, "Yes," sticking her tongue out straight and jabbing her fingers forward like she was poking someone. Suddenly she stopped, saying quickly, "First one to the car is a rotten egg - Dibs on the front seat!"

With that she dashed down the stairs, not even bothering to help, before anyone could stop her and saw the man at the front door.

All movement stopped. The air stood still.

The staring began.

You know how a child can just stop and stare at someone or something like they themselves are invisible. That's what June did now…to Edward.

Edward stared back.

Is she trying to brow-beat me?

Does she even know what brow-beat means? Because, Christ, this kid is doing so in spades…silently.

June just kept staring.

She guessed he was kind of cute, for an old man…

Briefly waiving hello she turned and ran to the kitchen just as Tanya and Rosey headed down the stairs.

"Mom! There's someone at the front door!" She huffed loudly and dashed around the center island, heading back toward the front door immediately, almost knocking Edward over in her race outside and straight to Tanya's black Mercedes, right into the front seat as rightfully claimed a moment ago.

"June Reed, slow down now please…or you are going to fall and break something," Bella scolded her daughter, wiping down the counter top. "I'll be right there, just one second please," Bella yelled out and began washing her hands off.

Christ, now what? Can't a girl relax when she wants too?

At the sound of her voice, Edward grinned and set the heavy box down by the door, smiling wider as he leaned back against the front door, thinking that this was all a very different kind of amusing. He just stood, relaxed, watching and waiting for someone to speak to him again.

When Tanya got to the bottom of the stairs she stopped right in front of him, a little out of breath, smiled slyly and turned away again, watching Bella head to the front of the house and right towards them.

Right into her trap.

As Bella approached she noticed her friend's smile and was instantly on alert. She stopped dead in her tracks and waited, knowing that something was up.

And…three…two…one…

"Hey, Bella," Tanya began as if she were the slyest cat in all the land, "I've…uh…got the girl's things together and…ah…we'll be heading out for our sleep-over now…" she said insinuatingly, motioning with her eyes for Bella to look behind her. Bella leaned over to look around Tanya and froze.

Holy shit! It can't be him again! No, no, no!

Bella looked at Tanya like she was going to strangle her.

Seeing her friends reaction, Tanya turned quickly, grabbed Rosey's arm and proceeded to drag her to the door, smiling and breathless and maneuvering herself and the child around Mr. Sexy, etc., etc., and continued "Yeah…um, so blow your mom a kiss Rosey, sweety…"

Bella is paralyzed, her pulse a nervous knot in her throat, unable to react to her friends obvious sabotage "Wait…What are y-" she stammered.

"Bye-bye, Mama!" Rosey exclaimed, blowing a kiss and smiling happily as she passed the strange-but-cute-man at their front door. "I'll call you later and wish you good night, okay? I love you, Mama!" One second later and they were gone. Rosey disappeared with her friendly-female-captor out the front door, leaving her high and dry...and alone with one Edward Cullen.

Everything was so quiet.

Bella looked nervously at Edward, shifting on her bare feet.

Edward smiled and stared back and waited.

This household sure does a lot of silent talking.

Mortified already that he was in her house…and was witness to all this sudden and unexpected commotion, Bella saw him trying to stifle his laughter. She looked down at her toes.

Oh, great! That's the second time in one day he's laughed at me.

God, just kill me now and save me from this nightmare! He probably can't wait to run off and tell his big city friends all about the 'poor girl back home'.

Putting a hand over her face, she asked him in a soured tone, "Edward. What the hell are you doing here," she burst out.

Shit that was rude!

"I mean, what…ah, what can I do for you?"

Fucking hell…was she in waitress mode now, too?

Edward took his cue. He couldn't let down the two women who had, separate and solitarily of each other, made this happen. And all before his very eyes, too. Understanding dawned as to why his mother couldn't wait to send him on this particular errand. He didn't know whose house it was until he saw the name on the mailbox.

Swan.

And with his imaginings so recently focused on her, he was delighted and quite interested in seeing her, and that perfect behind of hers, again.

He cleared his throat, attempting to make his voice sound cool, smooth and low, and smirked at her as her head whipped back up to stare again, "Well, let me see, Bella…you want to know what you can do for me this time around?" He let his eyes briefly drift down her curves and back up to her face, watching her eyes carefully and smiled the biggest and most sexy smile Bella had ever seen. Chop full of dimples and innuendo. Her knees went weak and heat flash through her entire body.

Damn she's so sexy when she's pissed…

Is that a glint in his eye? It's a fucking glint…

Bella saw red.

Realizing that he's playing with her again and angry that he could do it so easily apparently, she held up her finger as she spoke to help put him in his place, "Ah, ah, ah. Remember, you came to my house, not the other way around, so don't look at me like I'm your next meal, Edward. And yeah…I don't believe that I miss-spoke, so…what can I do for you?"

Oh, God! How could she be so pissed at him and be so turned on at the same time? Why was she always so defensive around him?

This is not who I am.

Pulling both of her hands through her hair, she took a deep breath, smiling as she tried to fix her outburst, "Ah…hm…wait a minute. Can we, uh, back up just a bit?" She shook her head quickly back and forth, clearing the way for her thoughts, and continued, "I didn't know I could be so rude. I mean, um, even when you are acting completely out of line in my own home…towards me…"

She let out all her breath, "Fuck! Look, is there some reason you're at my house this late on a Sunday night, Edward?"

She noticed that he hadn't stopped smiling since she first saw him there standing against her front door. He seemed a bit too comfortable, like he had stood in that very spot a thousand times before. She did a mental shake and tried to remain calm, but he always had a way of putting her off balance.

He just continued to take her in, her dark eyes, her long legs…her nervousness. Why did he love that he made her nervous? He still couldn't believe that this was Bella…this sexy flower in front of him was the same person he knew in high school…and the very same person his body had insanely lost control over that very afternoon.

Tightening at the memory, he shifted his weight to the other leg, suddenly dry mouthed and achy.

She was easily the most beautiful sexy woman ever in that simple dress of hers. It looked very soft…easy for her to just throw on and be done with it. It was the kind of dress that hung close but loose, and his imagination went a little crazy. The V-neck was just low enough to torture him with soft curves and swells. Moving his eyes down again, he stopped at her feet…again.

She's barefoot…

He forgot his purpose, stepped forward one step…

…and then kicked the front door shut with his black boot behind him.

a/n…um…yeah…..i want to know what your reaction in that situation would be…please share…what is going on here?...ha