Hi everyone, I know it's been awhile. I am finally back and without any ailments.
As before, I do not own Cold Case.
Thanks to all who have reviewed and to those who have read this story so far. I appreciate all of you so much! :)
I can't sleep
"Nobody's lost, but nobody wins." Azure Ray-Sleep
Do I make you nervous Rush? As soon as the words had left his mouth regret followed. Flirtation was forbidden in his book. A rule of sorts that had been enforced out of great sorrow, as a way to cope in response to Elisa's death. He figured that a boundary like this would keep his heart faithful to all that they had shared, not to mention her memory. The guilt like acid started to bubble and burn his stomach.
"Valens?"
Snapping back into reality, Scotty registered what felt like a hand resting on his upper arm. Instantly focusing on the offending party, he scanned the delicate fingers that were so gingerly placed upon his clothed skin. He was at an impasse, either snatch his arm back and risk hurting her feelings or confront the inquiring stare and risk exposing his soft underbelly that he so desperately tried to conceal from the outside world. He wouldn't allow himself to choose the latter.
Wrenching his arm from her grasp, he glared into her eyes hoping to scare her off or at least make her think twice before ever steering such an act of concern his way again.
"We gotta get back."
She didn't affirm his statement nor did she deny. She simply stood there, eyes squinting and mouth closed. What could she say? Nothing, and nothing is what kept them company on the walk back to the office.
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It was well past eleven p.m. when Scotty found himself once again dragging his sorry arse into the dimly lit cave he liked to call home. The silence did not improve upon his and Lily's arrival at neutral territory, which just made the remainder of the work day a hellish nightmare. He had stopped counting the number of indecipherable looks that Lily had shot his way from across the room, particularly because the woman fired one every five seconds and he just didn't have enough fingers and toes to count them all. His loss, because he was pretty sure that if he had guess the total would rest somewhere around a trillion.
Smacking his face with all five fingers, he let out a groan followed by a hefty sigh.
"Tomorrow has got to be better. I can't handle this much stress....Ring!....Why can't people just leave me alone."
"Valens..."
"Scotty, what have I told you about answering your phone like you have no family. It's so cold and impersonal, I just can't stand it..."
"Ma...Ma...Ma!"
"What Scotty?"
"Why are you calling this late? Is something wrong with dad? Are you hurt?"
A million different scenarios trampled through his conscious mind. His mother never called this late unless there was an emergency, but this call he figured would go ahead and ruin the former "never" situation.
"No, I'm fine and your father is in bed, but I knew that if I didn't remind you of the dinner tomorrow night at Alma de Cuba you'd forget just like last time. It's a once a year thing and I'd like to see my son once in awhile. Oh, and I've got a surprise for you. You remember Maria from high school, well I ran into her the other day and guess what she works right here in Philadelphia......."
He listened for another good fifteen minutes as his mom attempted to paint a portrait of him and Maria as the potential happy couple of the century with doves and flowers abound, but he couldn't stand it any longer. She was driving him nuts. He liked being alone. Didn't he?
"Ma....Ma, listen I gotta go, but I'll be there tomorrow night at seven p.m. sharp. Love you."
"I love you too my little boy. Bye"
"Bye."
The line went dead and for some reason that one sound caused such a sadness in him that he quickly hung up the receiver.
"Scotty get a grip." Shaking his head, he left the kitchen and sulked off to bed.
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Lily on the other hand, was not feeling the effects of a hard day's work mostly because her anger was overriding all other chemical messages to her brain. She had spent the past two hours mulling over recent events, well actually her thought-storming party didn't really get off the ground until after her coat, shoes, and purse hit the bedroom wall.
"Ass."
This was the first word she had found time to utter since she had gotten home. And now silence engulfed her once again.
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Tossing and turning through folds of sheets, Scotty found himself unable to sleep. Fruitless in trying to pin point the exact cause of his insomnia, he stilled his mind, willing himself to find solace within memories of Elisa, but the yearned for result never came. Was her effect waning? Could he be forgetting her already? If the answer was an emphatic "no", then why was he finding it difficult to be relaxed. Usually, a mental picture of her could at any moment bring a wave of calmness over him, but not this time. So why?
It's her.
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"Coffee?"
She stared with obvious disgust at the foam cup for a moment before raising her blue eyes back up to Scotty.
"No."
Gliding past him on her way down to the file room, he took to watching her every move. She really was a fragile creature and if he had met her out on the street in a world where her badge was nonexistent, he would've guessed her for a scared little girl in a woman's body. However, this was not the case as the never-ending hours of training and classes seemed to have successfully knocked out that part of her or at least kept the child-like piece in check. My how she was strong.
"What?"
In response to her voice, he realized that his wanderings had caused him to lose all awareness of his surroundings. Embarrassed, a slight tinge of red cursed up his cheeks.
"Nothing."
"Whatever Valens."
Snap.
"Okay Rush, come out with it."
Unwavering, she kept the appointed path leading down to the basement, effectively sending Scotty into a rage.
"Don't walk away from me Rush!"
"I'm not having this discussion with you up here."
Her voice echoed over her footsteps as she descended the stairs, Scotty not far behind and as soon as her feet hit the ground she felt herself being spun around in another direction.
"What the hell is wrong with you!"
"What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell is wrong with you!"
She felt his pointed finger digging into her chest.
"Get your finger away from my body right now before I have to break it."
"You don't seem like the violent type."
"Only when I'm in certain company."
"I must be rubbing off on you."
"You're an asshole!"
"Shut up!"
Before he could register what was happening, she had managed to shove her body up and off of the steel structure from behind, supplying her with more than enough force to push him backwards.
Almost losing his balance, his hands shot out to try and reestablish his footing, but it was too late. She had caught him off guard.
"You don't ever tell me to shut up Valens!"
Quickly regaining his former standing position, he charged up to her, a finger this time pointing directly into her face.
"You don't ever push me. You got it."
He didn't yell. He didn't have to. He knew that his barely audible tone was enough to get the message across. Keeping his finger outstretched, he surveyed her face, watching emotion after emotion come and go like ships in the night. No certain one surfaced long enough to allow him access. He had to agree that he was just as lost as she was when it came to their working relationship-if it could even be called that now. To him, all they had to tend to now was a pile of ashes.
"What did I say about that finger."
He couldn't move. He was fixated on every line, every crease that flowed throughout her face. His brain begged for a timeout so it could talk some sense into him, but his heart for some reason had taken the lead, which is why he didn't stop when his finger began to caress her skin. Her eyes fought to stay open as he brought a whole hand to her cheek, an action which caused her to lean into his touch.
"Lily..."
Upon hearing her name, her eyes slowly opened like a flower to a new sunrise.
You hate him. Remember?
What about Elisa? Have you forgotten her?
Freezing in place, both detectives realized the severity of the situation and backed out of each other's space. Luckily words didn't have to spoken as Scotty's phone rang through his coat pocket.
"Valens. Ya, I'm gonna be there. Give me twenty minutes. Love you too. Bye."
Trying his best to avoid her eyes, he took his time in throwing on his coat, while fiddling with the pockets to make sure that they weren't inside out and when that was done, only then did he make any attempt to meet her gaze.
"I'm late for a dinner."
Silence.
"See you tomorrow Rush."
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"Why are you late? I just don't understand you Scotty. I call you and...."
"Don't worry mom, I'm here now. Isn't that enough?"
Shrugging her shoulders at her son's lack of ability to be on time anywhere since the day he was born, Elena Valens buried the offense and instead welcomed Scotty with a warm smile.
"I saved you a seat next to Maria."
Following his mother's gaze, there gently placed next to his chair was one Maria Alterra. She couldn't have been more beautiful and by the looks of her skin under the soft lights, she hadn't let one inch of her see the sun for more than a minute. She was perfect. Her black hair hung in ringlets down to her shoulders, the purple dress of satin hugged the curvaceous figure underneath, but most importantly chocolate brown eyes shown brightly in spite of the faint lighting.
"Scotty, good to see you again. I hear that you are doing well as a detective. Moving up in the world."
Who was she kidding? He wasn't a squad leader, well unless you count him leading Lilly into the dark abyss otherwise known was their job.
"I do alright. And you, what are you doin' these days?"
"Oh, I work for Beacon and Associates. I'm a lawyer."
"Good for you. Talkin' about doin' well."
Seating himself quietly, he glanced inquiringly at Maria. She was not the same person that he had met in high school. No, she was an even better version of who she was in high school. Still, something stopped him from taking the bait...or someone.
"So Scotty, are you seeing anyone?"
TBC.........