2006

Karen hated the smell of hospitals. She hated the stench of the first hospital she and her mom had pulled a job in when she was 15; she hated the stink of the waiting room of the one where Stan had been taken when she thought he was having a heart attack; she couldn't remember much about the hospital her father had died in when she was 7, but she very distinctly remembered the way she could almost taste death itself in her mouth. And she certainly hated the odor of the latex gloves and cleaning products that filled the hallways of this one.

Her heels clacked on the tile, every fourth square blue, and every fifth pink. The helium balloon she carried with her bounced recklessly against the low ceiling, the brown teddy bear it was attached to shaking slightly in her trembling hands. Jack was walking so closely behind her that she could feel his excited breath on her neck. When they got to the wide white door, labeled Room 402, he put his hand on the small of her back as her muscles tensed.

She felt herself being ushered inside by him, the door opening up to reveal a perfectly square room, slightly larger than she expected. And there was Grace, her sweaty hair matted to her forehead, the white sheets of the hospital bed she lay in crumpled around her. Leo was standing in the corner, talking with a nurse. A newborn's cry pierced through the low murmurs of the room, and it was then that Karen's eyes came to rest on the tiny pink bundle in Grace's arms.

Jack reached Grace first, a spring in his step like that of a teenage boy going to drive their new car for the first time. Or, in his case, going backstage to meet Liza Minnelli for the first time. Karen followed Jack's lead, setting her gift on the table next to Grace and pulling up a chair next to her head to get a better look at the new baby. Before she really could, however, Jack had pulled her from Grace's arms. Karen took the opportunity to lean down and hug her friend, whose wide smile was a clear indication of the joy she was feeling. Suddenly, Karen was struck with the significance of this moment and her extreme honor to be a part of it.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Before she could answer, Jack was thrusting Laila into Karen's arms. As she accepted the baby, Karen looked at Grace nervously. She hadn't spent much time with infants, didn't really know what to do. Grace gave her a reassuring smile, and Karen swallowed.

As soon as she looked down at the baby, all of her apprehensions evaporated. Her big brown eyes searched Karen's own, and Karen let out an unexpected giggle as Laila squirmed slightly in her arms. The heat of her little body radiated against Karen's arms. She didn't know babies were so warm, or so cuddly. Before she knew it, Karen was leaned back comfortably in her folding chair, rocking the baby as she cooed up at her. This was pure heaven.

While Karen reveled in her time with her new goddaughter, Leo pulled up a chair next to Jack.

"I tried calling Will…" he informed them. Grace's face suddenly fell, and she looked at Jack expectantly.

"Yeah," he breathed quietly. "He's not coming, guys. Sorry."

Grace looked away, tears forming in her eyes. Karen frowned apologetically at Leo. They all knew how much Grace had wanted Will there, but he still hadn't forgiven her for abandoning him to get back together with Leo.

Karen and Jack were in a difficult position with this particular rift between their two best friends. Both knew that Will was being extremely selfish by not making himself available to Grace during the end of her pregnancy, and especially now, by not even showing up for the birth of her first child. But they also knew how happy and excited he was to be able to be there for her and the baby, even to act as its father although he was not. They had sat up with him for hours every night for a week while he cried to them, sharing his pain at what he viewed as her betrayal. And this, too, they completely understood. When Karen got the call from Leo that Grace had gone into labor, she had called Will, but only once. She wanted to give him the chance to be there, but didn't want to press the issue once he had made up his mind. She and Jack had decided that the best they could do was be there for Grace, and try to leave Will out of it.

But all thoughts of Will quickly vanished as Karen passed Laila back to Grace, and their lighthearted mood was revived. Jack and Karen didn't stay for very much longer, it was late, and Grace was exhausted. Laila needed to be fed, and they wanted to give the new family some alone time.

Karen kissed Grace and Laila goodbye, hugged Leo, then swiftly headed into the hall to wait for Jack. As she heard the door close behind him, Karen turned to face him, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh Kare," he whispered, as he took her into her arms. Her tears soaked his shirt as she tried to stifle her sobs.

"That should be me, Jack," she wept, her words muffled. He stroked her hair.

"I know, I know."

"I should have had that. I could have had that," she sniffled. "But it's too late now." Her voice was a whisper as her tears slowed.

"Shhh," Jack hugged her closer. "You've got me, Karebear." He kissed her temple. "I'm all you need."

She took a deep breath in, that disgusting hospital stench hitting her nose sharply once again. Except this time, it didn't smell like death. This time it smelled like life, new life. God, she hated that smell.