Disclaimer: Hogwarts and its people still belong to JK Rowling, bless her cotton socks for letting us play with them.

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Chapter 5: Luna Lovegood on the Near Side

"Hello," said the newcomer brightly as she shut the gate behind her. "I brought the horse an apple." The vague voice was distinctive, as was the long, lank blonde hair and the protuberant silvery eyes.

"If you're about to tell me Luna Lovegood just walked into this pen I don't want to hear it," Draco said flatly.

"Then I won't tell you Luna Lovegood just walked into this pen," Harry replied as soon as he had control over his motor functions again. "Luna, what in Merlin's name are you doing in here? Didn't you hear Dumbledore at dinner?"

"I wasn't at dinner. I'd heard there was a Lesser-spotted Whoopkacker up in Astronomy Tower. But I guess the boy who told me was mistaken."

"Or sent you on a wild Lesser-spotted goose chase," Draco drawled nastily. "Whoopkackers don't exist outside children's books."

"They do too. But maybe you're right about the goose chase. But my father says it's important to stay open-minded to these things, though."

"There's open minded, and then there's lobotomised," Draco said, frowning in her general direction on general principal. "I'm in here because someone wanted the horse to kill me. Potter's in here because he thinks he's in training to be a hero. You're in here because… what? You're too daft to save your own skin?"

Luna didn't seem upset. She snickered instead. "I'm daft? I'm not the one who thinks this cute little pony is dangerous. Honestly – the person who thinks they can use a horse as a murder weapon is the daft one." She bit a piece out of the apple and held it out to the horse.

It stretched out its neck and sniffed at it then, as if conferring a great honour, ate it. Luna bit off another piece and, walking close enough to the horse she could rub its neck, started feeding it chunks of the apple. The horse allowed this, even permitting Luna to kiss it on the nose, although it snorted afterwards as if it was putting up with a grave impertinence.

"What just happened?" said Draco, sensing that Luna was standing between him and the horse.

Harry was wondering that, too. "Luna just kissed the horse on the nose."

"Is that… legal?"

Luna grinned at Harry. "Isn't he lovely?"

"I hope you're not talking about me," snapped Draco.

"No, of course not. I'm talking about the horse."

"Huh." Draco sounded even more put-out now.

"But nothing's quite so lovely when it slobbers on your boots," said Harry dryly. "Mind you seeing as they're Malfoy's boots that got slobbered on I suppose it's a point in the horse's favour."

"It slobbered on me?" squeaked Draco. "God, that's revolting! Luna, give it a napkin, at least…"

"There we go," said Luna, ignoring the two boys as she finished feeding the horse the apple. "Poor old thing. They've got you locked up in here… Tsk. Honestly. Let's see about that, shall we? Hmm?"

Harry was becoming increasingly alarmed. Did Luna mean to let the horse go? Then she pulled out some leather straps from inside her robes – hang on, that couldn't be normal female underwear. Could it? Maybe it –

Bad thoughts. Bad, bad thoughts… especially concerning Luna, Harry told himself sternly. "What in Merlin's name are you doing now?"

"What in Merlin's name is she doing now, Potter?" Draco said at the same time.

"Watch or listen," said Luna, speaking calmly and softly. "My uncle has a horse. He lent it to me and Mum the last summer she was alive and she taught me how to take care of it." She separated a length of soft cotton rope from the leather harness and stood so that she was facing that same way as the horse and her right shoulder was tucked under the horse's throat. The horse was tall, but, like Harry, Luna had really shot up this last year, and her shoulder fitted neatly in behind the horse's jaw. "You put the rope around the horse's neck… like this…"

"Is she going to hang my horse?" said Draco nervously.

"No… Well, I don't think so." Harry frowned. "And since when was it your horse, Malfoy?"

"I found it."

"It found us."

Luna ignored them. "The rope is to give a bit of control while you put the headcollar on. Now. You work from the horse's left. Or 'near side', if you want to use the correct term. The right side is called the 'far side'. You don't want to start from there."

Harry quashed a reflex quip about Luna already being on the far side.

"Make sure the headcollar is ready and the buckle on the strap that goes around the nose is done up to the right hole for the size of the horse's head… too big is better than too small…" She managed to do something with the leather straps that turned them from an unintelligible mess into something with regular shape. A loop at the bottom went over the horse's nose and then she slung a leather strap over the horse's neck just behind the ears. "And then you buckle the head strap up like so. The buckles are adjustable so if part of the headcollar starts rubbing a patch in the horse's coat you can change it and make it more comfortable. There. Good horse," she added happily, stepping back and patting the horse on the neck.

She'd been almost hugging the horse's head as she put the harness thingamajig on it, Harry realised. And the horse had allowed this to be done. Was it just that she knew what she was doing? The horse seemed more relaxed around her than either himself or Draco, and now was turning its head to snuffle at her pocket.

"Oh yes, I've got another apple for you… Here you go." This apple had been cut in quarters and she fed it piece-by-piece to the horse. If this was an example of what she carried in her pockets it was no surprise Ginny had once commented how Luna's quills were always in a mess. "Most horses like apples," she said. "A few don't but luckily this one does. I also had some peppermints in case he was one of the few." There was the rustle of a paper bag and the horse's ears pricked. This seemed to be a sound it was fond of. Maybe its owner brought it treats in paper bags. "Hold out your hand," Luna told the two boys.

Bemused into submission, Harry and Draco did as she said. Into the hand of each of them Luna placed a large round peppermint. And she planned on giving them to the horse? What a waste! With the blockade of Hogwarts by the Death Eaters, sweets were at a premium, and the few students who'd thoughtfully saved the lollies sent to them after Christmas just before the blockade started were doing a brisk black-market trade. Rumour had it that some of the Ravenclaws were trying to cook up their own version of Canary Creams. The resulting Transfigurations of those students stupid enough to buy them had been interesting to say the least. Hogwarts had been thin on harmless entertainment these last few months, although it was doubtful that Padma Patil being turned into a velociraptor and bailing up Colin Creevey when he tried to take her photo was all that harmless.

"Keep your hands flat so the horse doesn't bite your fingers."

"It bites fingers? What am I holding this for, then? Extra flavour?" said Draco scathingly.

"No," Luna replied, and by the way her eyes bulged and her mouth twisted Harry could see she was busting a gut with her efforts not to burst out laughing. Maybe she thought if she did she'd scare the horse. She was scaring Harry either way. "Horses don't eat meat. Well, maybe if it's really well salted meat they might. But if he can't see where your fingers are he might bite them by accident when he eats the peppermint. So… just hold your hand flat. If you're scared I'll feed him for you."

"Who said I was scared?" Malfoy managed a credible glare despite being blind.

"Your body language," Luna replied gently, as if he was an idiot.

"What sort of idiot twaddle are you giving us now, Loveg- OW!"

The horse had laid its ears back and nipped Draco's shoulder. It wasn't a nasty bite, but it must have stung.

"What the hell was that?" said Draco, and nervously moved closer to Harry.

"You're making the horse anxious," Luna told him calmly. "Keep your voice calm. Stop trying to fight with me – it doesn't like that."

"So… it's your bodyguard now?"

Luna smirked at him and ruffled the silky black mane. Lucky Draco was blind or she'd have been hexed for that.

"Here," said Harry. "Let me try." He held out his hand. The horse eyed him suspiciously for a moment but the smell of peppermint must have been too much temptation. Wiry whiskers and a velvety muzzle wisped over Harry's palm and the peppermint disappeared. There was the muffled crunch of it being crushed between powerful molars and the smell of peppermint rose in the cool evening air.

Harry couldn't help grinning. It was like being six years old at the Dursleys' again and sneaking out with a piece of bread to feed some birds. On that day a few sparrows had come up close enough to take bread from his fingers. He reached out and patted the horse on the neck the same way he'd seen Luna do. The hide was fine and silky under his hand. A bit dusty, though.

"Just give it a go, Malfoy."

Draco's pale brows drew in between his eyes, but he held out his hand with the round sweet balanced in the centre of his palm. He didn't flinch when the horse gobbled it up. The horse seemed to be getting used to them, Harry thought. Draco smiled in relief when he realised he still had all his digits and reached out to pat the horse's nose. The horse allowed this like it had allowed Harry to pat its neck. Grudgingly.

Luna pulled the rope that had been draped over the neck down and held it loosely. "He doesn't like it in here," she said. "I think Hagrid has probably had predators in here and the horse can smell them."

"We can't take him outside," protested Harry.

"Yes we can," said Luna dreamily. "Like this: Alohomora." The gate swung open. Harry was about to rush over and slam it shut when he realised that the horse wasn't charging out to freedom. It had started a little when the gate was opened, but that was all. It dipped its head to nuzzle Luna's shoulder. "You lead a horse from its left," she said. "If it's well trained it should walk with its head by your shoulder on a loose rope." She clicked her tongue and walked through the gate. There was no wild gallop. Luna was not trampled into the ground. The horse walked at her side, the rope hanging slack between them. The silky black tail swished idly as the horse strolled back into the open.

"Coming?" Luna called back, like she'd just remembered there were other people in the world.

Harry realised he and Draco were standing in the middle of the empty pen. "You, um, could put your hand on my shoulder, Malfoy," he said awkwardly as he realised he couldn't leave Draco standing alone outside the castle. "That should work."

"Thank you, Potter," Draco said graciously, although by the look on his face it was an effort. They followed Luna and the horse.

ooOOoo

"What in Epone's name do you think you're doing?" Madam Hooch almost exploded with rage when she and Hagrid finally found the trio plus horse around on the sunny side of the barn. "I thought the horse had escaped… that would have been preferable to you three trying to commit mass suicide!"

"We're giving the horse a drink," Luna told the Quidditch instructor gravely, as if she couldn't imagine what Hooch was making such a fuss about.

"And you couldn't put water into a bucket and levitate that into the pen?"

Hagrid wasn't pleased, either. "Harry… yer knew it were dangerous…"

Harry wilted under his friend's displeasure. "Sorry, Hagrid. But Luna seems to know what she's doing. She had a head counter and a leader rope…"

"And apples," Draco added. He was sitting on an upturned bucket by the tap and seemed to be enjoying himself immensely now that people were angry at Harry. Harry decided not to tell him his boots were getting muddy. "Peppermints, too."

"Yes, thank you for your input, Mr Malfoy." Hooch turned back to Harry and Luna. Luna seemed mostly astonished Hooch and Hagrid were here. She'd found a curry comb and was brushing tangles out of the horse's mane. Luckily the horse was in a sleepy mood and kept its head down, otherwise Luna would have had to commandeer Draco's bucket to stand on. Things would have got ugly then. Uglier. "It's a dangerous animal," Hooch continued, her hands on her hips as she glared at the three students.

The horse yawned.

Luna blinked her odd bulging eyes at her. "No he's not," she said, coming the closest Harry had ever heard her to anger. She pulled the horse's head around and kissed it on the nose again. "He's a lovely horse."

"Did she just kiss that Muggle animal again?" asked Draco.

"You're not helping, Malfoy," Harry muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

Draco smiled sweetly. "I fed it a peppermint."

Hooch gave him a longer second look. "How are you feeling, Mr Malfoy?"

"Excellent, thank you. I was just trying to point out how tractable the beast is. Miss Lovegood has been teaching Potter and I how to work together so as we don't upset the poor, nervous Muggle animal."

Now Hagrid and Harry were staring at Draco in amazement.

"Oh…" said Hooch, obviously at a loss for words. She rallied. "That's… very worthwhile of you, Luna…"

"Yes, indeed," came a new voice. Everyone jumped, including the horse. Harry looked around.

"Headmaster," began Hooch, looking flustered, "I'm sorry, but Hagrid and I didn't intend to let the students anywhere near –"

"Quite all right, Xiomora," said Dumbledore. "Nobody hurt and according to young Mr Malfoy here there's been quite a coup for inter-House relations." His eyes twinkled as he pulled out a paper bag. The horse's ears pricked up again at the rustle, but when offered a sweet it rolled it around in its mouth for a bit before spitting it out.

"Ah," said Dumbledore. "Not one for the sherbet lemons. Oh, dear."

"He likes peppermints," said Luna.

"Does he? Very good. And he seems to like you, Miss Lovegood."

Luna beamed so brightly Harry wouldn't have been surprised had Draco seen it.

"Well, well. That's a pleasant development. Perhaps you wouldn't mind helping with our latest guest's care?"

Luna blinked, as if not helping with the horse was something she'd not considered.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore. "And you will take care of the Ravenclaw corner… Harry, I expect you to do Gryffindor proud, as Mr Malfoy will do Slytherin proud, no doubt. Hmm… Hufflepuff… Although no students have stepped forward from that worthy house to help we can't rule out future possibilities." He tactfully ignored Draco's sniff of disdain although Hooch's yellow bird-of-prey eyes narrowed in the Slytherin's direction. "Well, Xiomora, it looks like it falls upon you to uphold the honour of your House. Would you mind so terribly?"

Madam Hooch ('She's a Hufflepuff?' thought Harry) nodded after a moment's thought. "Quidditch lessons are out for now – too much chance of students being targeted by aerial Death Eater reconnaissance… All right. I know enough about equines to train one nag… I'll have it trained and cared for or my name's not Xiomora Rolanda Zoe Hooch."

"He's not an old nag!" Luna was bristling. "He's a very nice horse. And you can't approach a stallion with an attitude like that."

"Stallion?" exclaimed Hagrid.

Hooch was bending over to have a look between the horse's back legs. The horse gave her a filthy look. "Oh dear," she said quietly.

"What's wrong?" said Harry and Draco in stereo.

"Well, that changes everything," said Hooch to Dumbledore. "You can't have children looking after a stallion."

"Why not?" said Luna, too upset to care she was being rude. Harry thought she must really love horses. Maybe it was because she associated them with her mother… Almost on cue, Luna said: "When my mother taught me about horses she borrowed a stallion from my uncle… just because it's a stallion doesn't mean it's nasty or vicious or liable to go crazy or violent, and not all stallions are psychopaths, just a few of them… and only a few have to be fed through slots in the wall and handled by men in body armour in case the stallion tries to squash them against a wall or kill them with its front hooves…"

She wasn't helping her case, and now Harry was beginning to feel alarmed. He noticed Draco sidling back along the barn wall away from the horse.

Luna was hugging the horse's head now. It looked irritated, but didn't shake her off. "I'm the best person to have taking care of this horse," she said. "He likes me and I like him. Mum taught me ever so much and I'm bound to remember it soon."

She'll never see the horse again, thought Harry, and was astonished when Dumbledore said, "Well, I suppose if Madam Hooch is here with you to make sure it's not one of those, ahem, vicious horses you mentioned, I can allow you to keep looking after him. He doesn't seem particularly psychopathic," he added to Hooch when she started puffing like a kettle coming up to the boil. "Even if he doesn't like sherbet lemons. And it's good for the children to have an interest in times like these." He patted the horse on the shoulder. From over Luna's arm which was wrapped around the horse's nose one dark eye gleamed balefully back at the headmaster, and the horse sighed.

Dumbledore chuckled to himself, then frowned. "Hagrid. Didn't you say the poor animal was suffering from an injury?"

"Oh. Right. I'll see ter that ri' away, sir," Hagrid said. "Er… On the other side, Headmaster."

Dumbledore strolled around to check the horse's injured side. He went very still. "Hagrid," he said softly, "make sure he doesn't go back into the Forest. Whatever did this will want to finish what it started."

Hagrid nodded. "He'll be safe and sound here by the castle."

Dumbledore still looked less than happy. "Shall I send out Madam Pomfrey?"

"I think we can see to 'im ourselves, sir," replied Hagrid. "Any more strangers might upset 'im. So… it's all right for these un's ter look after th' horse, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore smiled, although the smile looked tired, and popped a sherbet lemon into his mouth. "I don't see why not, Hagrid. He seems like a nice enough horse to me." He rested a gnarled hand on the horse's withers. "Not in the least bit vicious."

And Harry couldn't help wondering why Dumbledore's eyes twinkled all the more as he said it.

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Harry wondered about Dumbledore's sanity from time to time. Like how the headmaster considered horses to be non-violent. And not psychopaths. At times like these, when he'd just had a bucket bounced off his head, he really wondered.

He sat up and rubbed at his forehead.

"Is it your scar, Harry?" Luna asked, peering close.

"No, it's not my scar." Harry glared at her and pushed himself onto his feet. He had to brush some hay from his robes. They had moved the horse inside the barn now that the sun had gone down. Although the horse hadn't been keen on the idea of going into another enclosure it had allowed itself to be coaxed in by Luna and her bag of peppermints. "It's just the dent where that bloody bucket hit me."

"Oh. I said 'chicken'."

Harry sighed. "It's 'duck', Luna. 'Duck'. Not 'chicken'." He eyeballed the horse. It eyeballed him back with twice the menace. "Do you think it'll kick the bucket again if we get some warmer water?"

"Maybe," said Luna. She'd been confident the horse would behave like a little lamb when they tried to treat the wounds in its flank. It had behaved more like the ram with toothache who'd just seen what dentists charge. The second bucket had been kicked at Harry – or so Harry suspected. Hagrid was still out looking for the first bucket; it had bounced off his head. The horse held a grudge, it would seem. And was possessed of uncanny accuracy. "Shall I try my wand?"

"NO!" Harry and Hooch shouted together. Both were sopping wet from the first bucket. Hooch had tried to get out her wand earlier and the horse had kicked a hole in the wall at the sight of it. Tempers were getting short and the horse was no closer to being healed.

"Get out your wand and see what the horse does, Lovegood," said a thoughtful voice. Amazingly it was Draco's. He was lounging in a mini-hayloft up above the loosebox where they'd put the horse.

"Are you nuts, Malfoy?" said Harry.

"Maybe," Draco replied agreeably. "But the horse likes Luna. It seems to think she knows what she's doing. Law of Averages, I suppose – at the end of every bell curve of statistical probability lies a region where the weirdest things can happen. There's a statistical curve of people who know Luna and know what she's like with a wand in her hand. This horse is at the end where at least one person in the universe thinks she's capable of doing something productive."

"Huh?" said Harry.

Luna tilted her head. "That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me." She climbed up the ladder and planted a quick kiss on Draco's forehead.

"Uh… did Luna just kiss me? And if so, has she cleaned her lips since kissing the horse?"

"Shut it, Malfoy," growled Harry. His headache was back. Why did he bother trying to rescue Draco, anyway?

Draco smirked but didn't say anything.

Luna used her wand to fix the horse's injuries. The horse stood still as she waved her wand and muttered the incantations. The wounds closed over like they had zips. It was that simple. Then Luna picked up the bucket of warm soapy water and washed away the scabs and clotted blood. After a drying spell she found the softest brush and used it to get rid of the last of the mess the blood and seeping fluids had left behind. A final polish with a soft cloth, and the horse's jet black coat was gleaming and unmarked. No-one would have known it had ever been injured.

The horse turned its neck an amazing degree to whuffle down the back of Luna's neck. She giggled. "You're welcome," she said and gave the horse another kiss on the nose. Then she waved her wand again and sent the buckets and brushes flying back to where they had come from. A soft rug undulated onto the horse's back. The horse had its ears pricked and stamped one foot uneasily at the sight of self-propelled blankets, but didn't spook as Luna settled the rug into place and cast a charm to make sure it didn't slip off during the night. Harry couldn't help noticing how clever her wandwork was. What were those rumours he'd heard of her Transfiguring an eggcup into an enraged erumpet? Must have been false… or based on jealousy.

Hooch was the first to break the stunned silence. "Time to see you lot back in your dormitories," she said in a puzzled tone of voice. She looked at her watch. "It's nearly curfew time. Go on – Harry, see Luna back safely, will you? Hagrid will make sure the barn is closed up properly."

As he walked back to Hogwarts (with Luna explaining to him her theory of how the Martian Space Bunny Colony had been established using Gringotts money) Harry wondered what this feeling of having forgotten something was. Whatever it was, Hagrid or Hooch would make sure everything was taken care of.

ooOOoo

Hagrid made sure that the horse had a nice thick bed of straw to lie on as well as a manger of sweet-smelling lucerne hay to eat. He added some sliced carrots into a good-sized bucket of chaff and the sweetfeed he normally saved for the unicorns and made sure the trough in the horse's loosebox was full of clean water.

Then he quietly closed the door behind him and went back to his hut where Fang was waiting for his evening snack of half a sheep.

ooOOoo

The horse stood in the middle of its loosebox for a while, possibly waiting to see if the door would open again, but possibly not. It was impossible for an observer to tell if it missed its freedom or if instead it was happy to be in an environment designed by people for horses. Maybe it missed roaming the forest. But, since it was a horse and all horses have 'greedy opportunist' specified in the blueprints, it turned its attention to the sweetfeed, eating steadily and not too quietly.

Its noises woke Draco.

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