1999

A comfortable silence filled Grace's office as the sound of traffic from the street below wafted up through the open window and a streak of sun stained the hardwood floor between the doorway and Grace's work table. Grace chewed the end of her stubby drawing pencil as she considered the placement of a small potted palm tree in her latest rendering of a four seasons room for one of her best clients.

She knew Will would be here soon to take her to lunch, the vague thought passed through her consciousness that Jack was probably coming soon for Karen. Her stomach growled; she was hungry, but wasn't entirely willing to give up on this latest sketch. She had been working on it all morning after putting it off for days, and she was finally on a roll. Karen had been relatively quiet and the phone had only rang twice, so she was enjoying the long, uninterrupted time she had to finally get some work done.

To her left, the coffee pot sizzled. As she looked over at it, two things happened simulatenously; Will strode through the open door, setting down his brief case on the floor next to Karen's desk, and Karen ran out of the door, her arms wrapped around her doubled-over torso.

"What was that all about?" Will asked, turning back towards Grace after watching Karen run from the room.

"Who knows," Grace answered, turning back to her sketch. "Maybe all those morning martinis are finally catching up to her."

Karen heard their voices as she scurried the four short feet down the hall into the women's restroom, but she wasn't paying any attention to what they were saying. Right now all she could concentrate on was the shooting pain in her lower stomach. It was a familiar feeling - she had been getting fairly intense menstrual cramps since she was 14. They always started the same way, with a solid hour of debilitating pain, then a more tolerable, constant pressure for the next 24 or so hours.

She hurried into a stall and fumbled with the zipper on her skirt, finally pulled it down and perched herself gingerly on the toilet seat. Sure enough, her light pink panties were soaked with blood; she was lucky it hadn't made its way past the fibers of the thin silk yet and onto her skirt. Another sharp pain hit Karen, and she gasped under the sting of her contracting muscles and the realization of what was happening.

She hadn't started her period - that was impossible. She had been pregnant for eight weeks, as of Friday.

Karen closed her eyes, tried to take deep breaths. She had read in a book recently that bleeding during the first trimester was sometimes normal - hadn't she? Or did she make that up? Did it say it wasn't normal? She couldn't remember, couldn't concentrate with her ears ringing and her heart pounding. She threw a hand out against the side of the stall as another sharp pain ripped through her lower stomach. It felt like she figured a contraction must feel like. This couldn't be good.

Oh God, she thought, a hysterical burst of sobs escaping her mouth, it had to be the stress. Five weeks ago, she had been delighted to learn that she was finally pregnant. She had worked it up in her mind that she was too old to conceive a child, despite the fact that a lot of women her age had babies. But she had been unsuccessfully trying for so long to get pregnant that she had given up hope. And then, suddenly, the stick was pink instead of blue.

Karen took a quick peek down between her legs into the toilet bowl. The dark red blood was swirling below her, taunting her. She had seen this a million times when it was that time of month, always disgusted at the tissues and substances being expelled by her body, but also intrigued at what it meant; that her body was fully equipped to carry a child. Now the unsightly vision below her meant just the opposite.

When she had told Stanley about the baby - about their baby - she had been so excited. She had Rosario cook them a special dinner, but insisted on serving it to her husband herself. It was just as she had always pictured it would be when she broke the news to her doting husband that they were going to have a baby; the candles were flickering playfully, the red wine in his crystal glass contrasting cleverly with the clear water in hers. She had reached across the corner of the table and placed her hand on his when she felt the time was right.

"Darling," she breathed, "I have something to tell you."

"What is it?" he asked her, and swallowed his mouthful of veal. Karen beamed at him.

"We're going to have a baby."

Tears rolled down Karen's cheeks as she wrapped a generous amount of toilet paper around her hand. She shoved it between her legs and stood quickly, pulling up her panties and skirt in a fluid motion so that nothing more could escape into the porcelain bowl below.

"What?" Stan's face fell, his fork clanked against his glass plate as it fell from his hand.

"I'm pregnant," Karen cooed, leaning towards him, her lips searching for a kiss.

But he backed away, scooted his chair away from the table so that he was out of her reach.

"Karen…" She opened her eyes as he spoke her name, his tone of voice like that of a school teacher's who was about to lecture a student that had failed to complete an assignment.

"Aren't you happy?" She was confused.

"I…Karen, we…we've talked about this." She set her fork down, folded her arms across her chest. "I don't want any more kids."

Time seemed to stop as she stood in front of the toilet, looking down into it as the salt of her tears permeated her taste buds. She imagined a future of what would have been as she contemplated the blobby red mess, her hand lingering on the flusher. She couldn't leave the bathroom in this shape, but she couldn't bring herself to dispose of what could potentially be her only shot at motherhood.

Grace's head snapped towards the door as Karen re-entered her office. Will quickly stood from her chair but froze when he saw the look on her face.

"Karen, what's wrong?" Grace asked. Karen looked distraught. She had been crying, for sure, and her movements were pained, awkward, as she scooted towards her desk to retrieve her purse. "Where are you going?"

"I've got to get to the hospital," Karen nearly whispered. She hadn't told anyone but Stan and Rosario about her pregnancy, and she certainly didn't want this to be the moment that her two friends found about it, but she couldn't lie about it at this point, either.

"The hospital? My God, Karen, why?" It was Will's voice now, coming from behind her. She turned her head towards him, his face etched with concern. She had never seen him look so worried about her before. She looked back at Grace, blinked towards her furrowed brow and down-turned mouth.

"I…I think I'm having a miscarriage," she stated. Her matter-of-factness made the little hairs on Grace's arms stand up.

"What?" she asked, her eyes opening wide as she regarded Karen, who flinched now as another cramping sensation flooded her body. "You're pregnant?"

"Yes," Karen whimpered, now clutching her desk for support. Will quickly moved behind her to put his arm around her shoulders awkwardly. "Or at least I was."

Three steps outside the office door, Jack stopped dead in his tracks as he heard Karen's statement, followed by her sobs. From where he was standing, he could only see Grace, white as a ghost as she held her hands over her mouth, staring in the direction of Karen's desk. He hovered in a doorway that was directly adjacent to Grace's corner office.

"Shit," Will whispered, as he looked down at the floor. Several small drops of blood had dotted the floor between Karen's legs. "I'm taking you." He tore off his suit coat, throwing it onto her desk, before scooping her up in his arms. "Grace, call Mercy and tell them we're on our way."

Grace, still in shock at what was transpiring in front of her, didn't say anything but nodded, and reached for the receiver of the phone that sat at the corner of her table.

As Jack heard Will's footsteps drawing closer, he stepped further into the shadow of the dark room he was hiding in. He heard Karen's voice, trembling and meek, and he sucked in his breath.

"Will? Don't tell Jack…please."

"Ok," Will breathed, as their forms moved past the doorway, past Jack hidden by the darkness. He waited until he was sure they were gone before he started breathing again. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. His back to the wall of the unidentified, abandoned room, he slid to the floor, in shock, worried, and trying to make sense of it all.