"You know, that day we met in Grace's office wasn't the first time I had ever seen you," Jack told her, enjoying the feeling of the warmth from her thighs through her skirt as he pressed his cheek against her lap.

"It wasn't?" Karen adjusted her reading glasses on her nose. Soon, she thought, she would need a stronger prescription. She ran her forefinger over the edge of one of the glossy magazine pages in her hands, hiding Jack's face from view below.

"Nope. It was three years before that, on September 25."

Karen snapped the magazine closed, pulled it aside to stare down at Jack. He was laying on his side, his face turned out towards the crackling fire in front of them. She could see the corners of his mouth turning up in a smile as he remembered.

"That was the day I married Stan."

"God, you looked beautiful. For a minute I thought maybe you were a celebrity or something, you were so radiant. Everyone was buzzing around you and Stan as you came out of the church; you were magnetic. I was passing by on the other side of the street, and stopped to watch you drive off in your limo."

Karen stared down at Jack as he spoke, and it was a minute before she realized her mouth was hanging open. She had no idea.

"When we finally met that day in Grace's office, I couldn't believe it was really you," Jack continued.

"You remembered me?"

"Of course." He turned onto his back so that he was looking up at her. Her dark waves tickled his face lightly as she bent over him, her face full of wonder.

"Why?"

"You never did get it, did you?" Karen frowned. "I used to imagine myself arm in arm with you, coming down those steps. In Stan's tux. You had me fascinated, right then and there."

"But you're gay."

"As the day is long! But I figured, if I ever were to get married, you know, like maybe in some alternate universe, I'd want a bride like you."

Karen couldn't help the feeling of pride that was welling up inside her, the blush she felt rising to her cheeks. Jack had always been the one that she wasn't as careful with as she was everyone else - she could show him things and tell him things she would never tell anyone else. She didn't mind the fact that a gloating look was creeping across his face, as he realized he had stirred up a rare emotion in her.

She could've kissed him, right then and there. The feeling had become familiar to her over the past thirty years that they had been in each other's lives. Her coping mechanism had become familiar too, and she bit the inside of her lip as she thought about how she used to that same fantasy - coming down the grandiose stairs outside St. Peter's in her luxurious white wedding gown, arm in arm with the man she was destined to spend the rest of her life with; Jack McFarland.

Jack smiled up at her and nuzzled his nose into the ends of her hair that was falling in front of her face, she placed her right hand on top of his, resting on his stomach.

"God, Jack," she exclaimed, as their skin touched. "Your hands are like ice." He didn't say anything, and she placed her hand on his forehead. "For Pete's sake, you're burning up. Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?"

He shrugged, suppressed a clammy shudder.

"I'm just trying to deal with it," he replied, nonchalantly. He searched her worried eyes as she stroked his cheek, ran her hand through his hair. "This is only the beginning."

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As the microwave started beeping and the furious popping of the paper bag came to a halt, Grace stood carefully from the couch and moved out of Karen's eye line into the kitchen. Karen took this time to switch her posture; her left leg was falling asleep from being crossed over her right knee for so long. Grace's mutterings and bangings-around in the kitchen behind her served as a disparate and decidedly un-graceful soundtrack to the heaviness in the air.

Karen gingerly wiped the inside corner of her eye; she had made it through the explanation of Jack's situation without sobbing this time, as she had done with Will, and again but less so with Rosario. Tonight, as she had recounted to Grace the way Jack had broken the news to her, how he was growing weaker and thinner every day, and how she was trying to deal with it, only a few tears had sprung to her eyes. This time, it was Grace that produced the water works.

"Thanks," Karen muttered as Grace handed her a teal plastic mixing bowl full of lightly buttered popcorn. Grace smiled back. The conversation had come to a crashing halt, and neither one of them really knew how to proceed. "When is Laila due?"

"Oh, in a couple of weeks," Grace replied. Laila and Ben had been married nearly two years now, and they were expecting their first child. As Grace answered Karen, she tried to express the happiness that she felt at the prospect of being a grandma, but this disastrous news about Jack had soured any shred of joy she had been feeling just hours before.

"That's wonderful," Karen replied meekly, looking down into the bowl at the little kernels swimming around together. She wished she could have sounded more sincere, she really was excited for Grace. But lately, as the AIDS began to pick up speed within Jack's body and the physical evidence of its presence became more and more apparent, she had a hard time pulling herself out of the depressed state of her psyche. She tried to be cheerful, for Jack, who seemed unphased by the ravaging of his once strong and vital body, but he could see behind her façade better than anyone.

"Kare," Grace ventured softly, "this isn't your fault, you know. You can't beat yourself up over this. I know it's hard but…"Grace's voice trailed off and she put her popcorn bowl down to take Karen's hand.

"It's just so hard…watching him go through this and not being able to help him or even experience the pain with him - for him, even. I just wish there was something I could do."

"You're doing more than enough," Grace assured her. Suddenly, her eyes lit up, and it was like a light bulb had been turned on in her head. "Actually…I remember a year or so ago, one night at dinner Leo and Ben were discussing a new experimental drug they were testing on HIV patients. Maybe it can help Jack!"

Karen's face lit up and Grace left her to retrieve Ben's office number for Karen. Maybe, just maybe, there was some hope after all.