I was gonna post this sooner but I havent had internet the past few days. thanks for all the feed back, I love hearing what you guys think of the story, keep it up!

Piper

Okay, so she was upset that she'd have to see me everyday now. That was understandable after everything we'd put eachother through recently. But I couldn't help the sinking feeling in my chest at her cold reaction. I guess it was stupid for me to think she would be happy to see me.

"Well, I don't think Leann's coming back any time soon, so you can fold those," Alex said after a minute, nodding towards the pile on the table.

I made myself busy, not knowing what else to say, if there even was anything to say. She wouldn't look at me, but I was constantly glancing over at her. She was paler than usual, which, for Alex, was saying something. Her skin had taken on a grayish- almost translucent- quality, and the bags under her eyes were a deep bluish-purple. She obviously hadn't been sleeping. I hoped the reason for that was the fact that she was sleeping without a mattress.

While I was in the hospital, I had time to really think about what caused me to lose control the night of the pageant. At first, I was still mad at Alex. I was pissed that she had seemingly been the reason why Larry broke up with me. She had obviously said some things to him that weren't exactly in my favor. But, after getting past the anger, I tried to stop being the narcissistic asshole she claimed I was. I tried to see it from her side.

The person I saw through her eyes was someone I didn't know. She was right; I was always trying to justify my actions by putting the consequences on other people's shoulders. When she said that, we were talking about how I was the reason Pennsatucky went to Psych.

The truth was I didn't come clean about my part in the incident because I actually cared about what would happen to Doggett. I went to Caputo and confessed because I wanted to prove to Alex, even though she'd told me it was a bad idea, that I could take responsibility for my own mistakes.

Then, Doggett came after me and I made another mistake. I made a terrible mistake and Alex had fixed it. Despite my leading her on and crushing her again, she had been there when no one else was and she saved me.

I sighed and continued working in silence. How many people would stab someone and help them cover up a crime? I knew if Larry had been here, he wouldn't have risked getting ten or more years added to his sentence. It may have been a fucked up way to find out, but that was what showed me that she would do anything for me even though I caused her so much pain. If that isn't love, than I don't know what is.

But I knew it was too late to go back. To tell her I had made a mistake by choosing Larry. That would just be cruel after everything I've done to her. No, I had to deal with my mistakes and live with my choices. If I really loved her, I would respect the fact that she didn't want anything to do with me.

I actually laughed out loud in disgust at myself because even as I thought those things I knew they weren't true. I wasn't going to be the bigger person and I was still mad at her. I couldn't help it.

She looked over at me with a confused expression, but didn't say anything.

"This is bullshit," I muttered, shaking my head.

"What?"

"It's bullshit, Alex. Everything that's happened..." I trailed off, overwhelmed with so many different emotions. I felt tears sting my eyes and fought to swallow them back. "Just... nevermind. Forget it."

She stared at me for a few seconds, then went back to what she'd been doing. Nothing else was said and soon it was time to close the laundry room and go to dinner. She left before me and, instead of heading to the cafeteria, I made my way towards my bunk, which luckily, hadn't been given away in my absence. It was a small relief that I would still be sharing a cube with Taystee. Maybe I wouldn't be as nervous about one of Doggett's lackies coming for vengeance while I slept. Though, judging by Leann's reaction, I didn't think they would try to fuck with me now.

I had been sent straight to work after Caputo said I had been cleared by Psych, so I'd only seen Alex so far. I wasn't sure what to expect from the other inmates.

When I entered the Ghetto, there were only a few inmates walking around. They either catcalled or averted their eyes as I walked past.

"Yo, Chapman! You're back? I though fo' sho' they was gonna send yo ass down the hill," Poussey said, walking out of her cube with Taystee and Black Cindy.

"Shit, I thought I was gonna get a new roomie. Now I gotta watch my back around this bitch," Taystee remarked before smiling to show me she was kidding. At least, I hoped she was. "Is it true you broke the bitch's neck?"

Black Cindy cut in, "Yea, man. I know I said you should kill her but I didn't think you was actually gonna try." She held out a closed fist and I hesitantly tapped my knuckles to hers. "Respect."

"Damn straight," Poussey added.

I let out an uneasy laugh,"Thanks. Um... Taystee, do you think you could help me with something? It'll only take a minute."

Her eyebrows drew together and she looked me up and down, "You ain't gonna try and put me in a coma, too, are you?"

"What? No! I just-"

They all started laughing.

"Yo, I'm just playin', vanilla," Taystee said. "Yea, I'll help you, but it best be quick 'cause I ain't missing dinner. 'Bout time they added some flavor, know what I'm sayin'?"

"Uh, yea. No, it'll be quick, I promise."

Alex

I was on my way to the cafeteria when Nicky came out of nowhere, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the utility closet so fast my head felt like it was spinning.

"Whoa, what the fuck, man?" I whispered once she closed the door, putting a hand against the wall to steady myself.

"Here. Take this." She held out her cupped hand and I saw a round pinkish ball in her palm.

"Is that a pill? What the hell are you doing with that?"

"Chill, Vause, it's Marinol. You know, liquid weed?"

"I know what Marinol is, but where did you get that?"

She raised her eyebrows, "Not important. Just fucking take it, will ya? I'm getting sick of you not eating or sleeping. This is a simple solution."

I stared at the pill, "I haven't smoked in like, three years."

"Good, then it'll have more of an effect," she reasoned. "Quit being a fucking pussy."

I glared at her but took the offering.

"Make sure you bite down. Us junkies don't bother with that 'slow release' shit," she explained with a smile. I did as she said and then she nodded, turning around and opening the door. "Shall we?"

I started to feel it after we'd gotten our food and sat down at a table with Big Boo and Yoga Jones. I was actually hungry, my stomach growling with a vengeance after being deprived for so long. I didn't pay attention to the conversation around me while I ate, trying not to seem as stoned as I was.

I looked up to see Nicky watching me with amusement.

"Fuck you," I said with a small laugh. I was grateful to her, though. It was nice to know that someone actually gave a shit about me in here.

"You, uh, want my muffin?" she asked suggestively and pushed the dessert towards me.

I bit my lips to keep from laughing out loud then nodded and grabbed it, placing it on my tray, "Thanks."

"Anytime," she quipped.

It was a few minutes later when I saw Piper walk in. The cafeteria went almost completely silent for a couple seconds as she entered with Taystee, then everything was louder than before. A bunch of inmates, including Big Boo, Yoga Jones, and Morello, got out of their seats and went up to her while the rest gossiped and observed. I chanced a glance to the table where Pennsatucky's worshippers sat. Some were sneering at the scene while others looked scared. I didn't miss the fact that Leann wasn't sitting with them.

Rolling my eyes, I turned back to my food and Nicky, who had remained in her seat.

"Stop crowding, inmates. Back to your seats," Bennett shouted and the 'welcome wagon' dispersed.

"How you doing, Vause?" Nicky asked. I heard the genuine concern in her voice and knew by her expression that if I said I was fine one more time she'd probably lean across the table and bitch-slap me.

I didn't want here to go to the SHU, so I shrugged and said, "I'll be okay."

It seemed she was satisfied with that answer.

Piper and Taystee sat down at the table in front of us and I tried not to look at her, though she was facing me.

Sophia, Taystee and and the rest of the people she was sitting with were talking pretty loud so it was hard not to overhear the conversation.

"You lucky, ya know? At least, you got to eat hospital food for the holidays," Watson said.

"Well, I'll tell y'all this," Sophia said, "when I was in college, the lunch lady said they like, fill that shit with fiber so it don't stay in your system too long 'cause it's so bad for you."

"You went to college?" Piper asked, surprised, and I nearly choked on the piece of broccoli I was eating.

Nicky let out a snort of laughter but quickly covered her mouth as the other table went silent.

I watched as Sophia turned to Piper with her eyebrows raised, "Bitch, you did not just say that, soundin' all incredulous and shit."

Piper's eyes went wide as everyone around her stared, "That-that came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that, I-I'm sorry," she stuttered.

"Mm-hm," Sophia muttered, "To answer your question; yea, I went to college," she lifted her chin and flipped her hair dramatically, before adding, "for half a semester."

The table broke out into laughter at this and Piper relaxed. I shook my head and chuckled to myself. She was always putting her foot in her mouth like that. Luckily, this time it didn't turn out too bad.

When dinner was over, I left the cafeteria with Nicky and Morello and we went back to our bunks. I was still really feeling the Marinol, so at first,l when I sat on my bed, I thought I was just really high and thats why I felt a comfortable, floating sensation. Then I realized it was due to the fact that there was an actual mattress beneath me. I stood up and stared down at it. They had finally gotten me a new one. I felt a wave of happiness come over me. It wasn't much, but after the past few days it felt almost foreign.

"Would ya look at that," Morello said from outside my cube, "You got yourself a new mattress, Alex. That's exciting, isn't it?"

I laughed, "Yea, it actually is."

"Hey, Nicky!" Morello called out, "Vause got a mattress!"

Nicky walked over and looked between us, "Yea. So?"

"Isn't that exciting?" Morello asked her.

Nicky stared at us both like we were crazy, "Okay, I know why Vause is grinning like a fucking idiot, but I don't remember slipping you any special treats, Lorna. Am I missin' somethin' here?"

"Oh, c'mon, Nick. Can't you just find joy in the little things?" Morello said.

Nicky looked at me and I shrugged.

"Right," she said slowly, "I'm just gonna go... over there."

"Whateva." Lorna turned back to me, "I'm really happy for you, Alex."

Now I could see she really was acting strange. "Uh... thanks?"

She smiled and nodded before walking away.

I laid down on top of the bed, enjoying the feeling of floating. I was about to drift off when I heard someone open the cell block door, forcefully.

I sat up as Mr. Healy stomped over to my cube, Leann following close behind him.

"Get up, inmate," he growled, "You're going to the SHU."

Piper

I had just taken a shower and gotten my antibiotics from the nurse when I returned to my bunk, only to find my mattress thrown haphazardly on its frame. I gritted my teeth in frustration and threw my shower things on top of my locker.

This was so like her. I try to give her a fucking peace offering and she throws it back in my face. At least I made up her bed after sneaking the mattress over to her cube with Taystee.

"Yo-" Taystee began, but I cut her off.

"Not now." I stormed out of the Ghetto and headed to Alex's cube. When I saw she wasn't there, I went to Nicky's. "Where is she?" I spat, ready to flip out at anyone who even looked at me wrong.

Nicky jumped up, "Who?"

"Alex. Where's Alex?"

She sighed, "Oh. You don't know..."

Now, I was getting a little nervous, seeing Nicky's unusually demure demeanor. "Know what? Where is she?"

"Healy came and dragged her off to the SHU after dinner. He was going on about her stealing a mattress."

My heart seized in my chest and I brought my hands up to cover my mouth. "Oh, God, no, no, no..."

Nicky took my reaction the wrong way, "She didn't steal it, Chapman. I was there when she found it. She was happy... she thought that the guards put it there. But Leann was with Healy so its obvious that bitch set her up."

I shook my head, "I gave her the mattress..."

"What?"

"I-I put it there during dinner. She just looked so tired... I thought- Holy fuck, what have I done?" I spun around and rushed to Alex's cube and just now saw how the blankets and pillow were on the floor. If I hadn't been so mad, that would've tipped me off right away that something was wrong. Alex was a neat freak to the point where I was sure she had some level of OCD.

I had to tell the guards that they got it wrong. I was the idiot who put the mattress there. And Healy just wanted a reason to put her in the SHU. The last thing I wanted to do was speak to Healy, but I had to at least try.

I made my way to his office. The door was open and he was sitting at his desk, O'Neill was standing in front of it.

"Mr. Healy, Alex didn't steal that mattress, I put it there."

He gave me a cold stare, "Save it, Chapman. Your girlfriend is where she belongs. We can't have thieves going around unpunished."

"She's not a thief! I just told you, I put it there! She had nothing to do with it," I yelled.

Getting up, he walked around the desk and O'Neill took a few steps back. "You're out of line, inmate. If you don't control yourself, I'll put you in the SHU, too. Now, go back to your bunk." His face was inches from mine and his mouth twitched up in a smile. He knew there was nothing I could do. He wanted me to lose it. To just haul back my fist and punch him so that I'd be sent down the hill and he would finally win. But it wasn't going to happen.

I matched the ice in his gaze and stood my ground, "I'm not leaving until you fix this."

He stepped back and shrugged, "Suit yourself. O'Neill?"

The guard, who had only been observing until this point, straightened up, "Yes, sir?"

Healy turned to him and calmly ordered, "Escort Chapman to the SHU. As you can see, she's been exhibiting insubordinate behavior and needs some time to cool down."

I clenched my fists, fuming, and vowed that one day I would wipe that smug smile right off his fucking face. But for now, I had to suck it up and go quietly. I knew O'Neill was one of the more lenient guards. If I didn't fight him then he'd probably write a nicer report and I'd be out in a day or two. I just hoped that now Healy had me down there, he wouldn't feel the need to keep punishing Alex.

"Sir," I said to O'Neill once we'd left Healy's office, "please, you have to release Alex Vause. She didn't do anything wrong."

"Caputo will review the report and decide. Now, stop talking," he replied.

I kept my head down and stayed silent the rest of the way to the SHU.

It wasn't until I was in the room and O'Neill had closed the door that I finally let out my anger, kicking and banging my fists against the wall. Everyone else was screaming, so why couldn't I? "Fuuuck!"

Soon, the adrenaline coarsing through my veins let up and I slid down the wall, breathing heavy.

"Um... Piper?"

Her voice came through the grate and startled me. "Alex? Alex, is that you?!"

"Yea. What the hell are you doing in here?"

"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry, Alex," I told her.

"What are you sorry for?" she asked and I could hear the confusion in her voice.

"I put the mattress there- Leann must have seen me. I'm so sorry." There was only silence and I knew she must be pissed. "Alex, please say something," I pleaded through the grate.

She remained quiet for another minute before saying, "The fucking hillbilly was right."

"What?"

"Pennsatucky. She was right."

I knew Alex couldn't have been here for more than an hour. There was no way she could've lost it already. "What do you mean?"

I heard her sigh, "There is a God, and the dude fucking hates my guts."