New chapter! Hope you all like it!
It's been two days since Hotch and the team have been to work. Well, most of the team, that is. SSA Emily Prentiss was in the office on her day off, working through yet another batch of paperwork and reports. She's almost caught up to speed with Reid, who is atleast 2 months ahead. She's running out of things to do, and it's scaring her.
The next day it was back to work for the BAU team, and the earliest to work was none other than Emily Prentiss. Back to the grueling cases, the irreversible damages, the destruction of the lives of family and friends of victims. Will it ever end, she thinks to herself. Do these bastards ever take a break?
Emily is snapped out of her thoughts by Morgan, who she thinks just said good morning. She hastily replies in a happy tone.
One by one the members of the BAU team arrive and taking turns, they talk about how they spent their days off.
Reid read over 15 books in the past 24 hours,
Garcia spent a romantic day with Kevin,
Morgan worked on finishing some houses he's redoing,
Rossi watched old italian mob movies and drank wine,
and Hotch spent time with Jack.
When Emily's turn came, she just said "Oh not much. I spent some time with Sergio, caught up on some sleep, and got myself caught up with Grey's anatomy."
Most of the team didn't suspect anything from what Emily said, except for Hotch. Just this morning Strauss spoke to him about the excellent work Prentiss has been doing and how she was at her desk working all day for the past two days. He'd have to talk to her about it, and question her about the psychiatrist, but the debriefing of a new case is about to start.
The team heads into the bullpen as another chain of deaths is presented to them.
Within 24 hours, the team has caught the bastard. He was local.
It's becoming increasingly more difficult to deal with everything going on around Emily. She doesn't want to deal anymore. That's why she never goes out, sleeps or really smiles anymore. Because any show of emotion will lead to heartbreak, and anytime she puts herself in vulnerable conditions, she gets hurt. That's how its always been.
Her whole life, she's been "Emily Prentiss: Ambassador's daughter, Yale graduate, FBI agent, well-behaved, well-mannered, PERFECT everything"
But that isn't her. Behind all of this, is a teenage girl who used to do terrible things to numb the pain of living, a young lady who slept with a terrorist for information, and a woman who's afraid of being alone. Emily Prentiss is, in her books by no means "perfect". Quite the opposite in fact. She sees herself as an ugly person who brings misery to all those who ever cared for her. This is why she must distance herself from her team - no, her family - as much as possible. They used to be the only people who brought joy to her life, and now she feels no joy at all.
Emily would never tell her psychiatrist any of this, though. It would land her in a looney bin for sure. And then she'd get pitied and looked at like some sort of victim. Emily Prentiss is NOT a victim. She is not weak, nor fragile. Nothing fazes her.
She knows that if all goes well, the final two sessions could be all it takes to set her free from her shrink. But Emily also knows that in tomorrow's session, her psychiatrist will re-approach the subject they left off on. Emily has to play it cool and not give any indication of fear. She always expected the psychiatrist to ask about suicide at some point, but it really caught her off guard. Emily won't be letting that happen again any time soon. That's why she's set some ground rules for tomorrow:
She will walk in with a smile on her face and a skip in her step.
She will say everything is going well.
She will pretend to be open and honest with the shrink, like she always does.
She will NOT show emotions when the subject of suicide comes up.
She will NOT mention to the psychiatrist of the two attempts that she ALMOST went through with this year.
She will NOT give the psychiatrist ANY indication of the above statement.
She will NOT tell her shrink of the terrible things she used to do to herself, and what she is compelled to do again these days.
She will act perfectly.
If these rules are followed, Emily should have no troubles tomorrow after work at her session. But this is all easier said than done.
Well this was quite angsty to write. I hope it was well-written. Plenty more angst before the storm is over. But don't worry, at one point the storm DOES end. :)