I know this is kind of a short entry, but I figured I'd delayed updating long enough and didn't want to keep you waiting any longer. Enjoy!

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I shouldn't be feeling this kind of dread. Ron mused as he pushed himself off his scooter and walked towards Kim's house. The garage was empty, meaning that both of her parents were away at work. This was something he had done thousands of times before, walk into her home. So why was he so nervous now?

"Because I'm scared that the answer will be no," Ron was forced to admit to himself. He didn't want to believe, refused to believe, that their friendship could very well have eroded. If that was the case, he at least was going to demand an explanation. How dare she walk away from him like he meant nothing and refuse to give him any kind of explanation whatsoever?!

He fished inside his wallet, looking for the key to the door. Kim had given him one freshman year as a sign of trust and Ron felt sort of like he was abusing it. But damn it, I need to know! Ron exclaimed to himself. He refused to stay in suspense any longer, but a definite answer terrified him just as much.

As luck would have it, the door was unlocked and Ron cautiously peered inside. "You home, KP?" Ron called out, but there was no response. Either she wasn't currently inside or she was ignoring him. Ron had a suspicion that it was the latter.

Wow, this home has really changed. Ron thought. He just couldn't quite put his finger on it. Mostly, Kim's home looked the same as it always had. What was different? I'll figure it out later.

Deciding that the best place to try and find her was in her bedroom, Ron walked up the stairs and tested to see if her door was locked. This one was, but it didn't take him a lot of effort to pick the lock and open the door, his eyes averted in case she was changing clothes. Admittedly, with all the missions they had been on, changing clothes in the same room, they had gotten the occasional glance at one another, but even so, it was best to be polite.

Kim was in the middle of the bed, not moving, except for an occasional jolt. "She's asleep," Ron sighed. No matter; he'd wait until she woke up for an answer. He didn't care how long it took by this point in time.

On her nightstand, he noticed a bottle of sleeping pills on the top. Immediately, Ron's mind filled with horror. "She couldn't... she couldn't possibly be thinking..." He scrambled over, all thoughts of trying to stay quiet eliminated, diving for the bottle, hope and fear warring within him. The bottle rolled under the bed in his haste, Rufus diving out of his pocket to get it.

On the other side of the room, Ron saw that the computer was still on and to his trained eye, there appeared to be some kind of note. Tears began to fill his eyes as he thought about the implications. "Please be wrong, please be wrong..." Ron pleaded to himself.

Dear Journal:

The dreams never stop. Every time I close my eyes, I can see his face. He won't leave me alone. I suppose it's nothing more than I deserve, though.

"How could she possibly think she actually deserves this kind of hell?" Ron muttered in astonishment. Did Ambrose leave so great an impression on her that she thought it was her fault she was kidnapped and manipulated? He decided to read on.

I still think of it all the time, one of his "training exercises". I write it here, because I can't tell anyone of this. Not even my parents or Ron, especially Ron. What would he think of me if he knew the truth? If he knew what I had done?

We were in a dangerous neighborhood, where Ambrose was explaining the elements of the criminal mind to me. As terrifying as it might sound, my brother had some valid points, even if the conclusions he came to were extreme. The two of us were attacked by a group of thugs, but it didn't last long. When it looked like one of them was getting up... I don't know how to describe it. I don't even want to think about it, but I have to go on. I killed him. I, Kimberly Ann Possible, am a murderer.

"She... she actually killed someone..." Ron gasped out. He never would have imagined it before, but somehow, that wasn't as preposterous as he once thought that it would be. She was on the verge of killing Shego at Camp Wannaweep, and Ron knew that a killing machine was what Ambrose had intended to turn her into. No wonder she's been falling apart.

Kim began to stir as Rufus handed him the bottle of sleeping pills. To his extreme relief, the bottle was full. "No, please, I'm sorry!" Kim exclaimed in her sleep, while Ron debated on whether or not to wake her. He couldn't stand to see her like this.

Hope this isn't too difficult, Ron thought as he approached her. He sat down next to her an squeezed her hand, trying to communicate his support even though she was unconscious. His act received an immediate action. Ron just barely raised a block in time to counter her punch, but was unable to deflect the second and third and he collapsed to the ground, wheezing.

"I'll rip your limbs off!" Kim screamed before finally coming to her senses. Ron watched as her eyes blinked rapidly, while he coughed a couple of times, trying to pull himself together. He had endured far worse pain in the past, but the fact that those blows had come from KP, of all people, made it especially agonizing.

However, she was coming to, and looked around the room. "Not again," Kim groaned. Her knuckles were beginning to tingle. "Did I actually hit something?" She moved forward a couple of steps and her foot brushed against Ron's leg. "Ron!"

"Hey, KP." Ron coughed, pushing himself to his feet. "Fancy seeing you here."

"It's my room, Ron; of course I'm here." Kim rolled her eyes. Upon looking at him a second time, however, she made a startling realization. "Oh, god... did I actually..."

"I'm fine, KP; nothing to worry about." Ron attempted to reassure. It did no good, though, as Kim slid onto the floor in a heap, burying her face in her arms. "Come on, I'm ok; there's no need to feel guilty."

"You hate me!" Kim gasped out, still refusing to meet his eyes.

"Why would I hate you, KP?" Ron asked. "I was just worried about you. You haven't responded to any of my texts or calls or e-mails or... well, anything." His previous anger was disappearing after seeing his best friend in such a state.

"Just go away, please; leave me alone." Kim begged him, turning away from his gaze, but Ron refused to budge.

"KP, why are you trying to push me away?" Ron demanded, more sharply than he had intended. "Do you really think that little of me?!" He knew as soon as those words came out of his mouth that it was the wrong thing to say, but it was too late to take the words back. Kim got to her feet and all but ran out of her room, refusing to look him in the eye. Ron followed, hoping that he wasn't about to lose his best friend.

"You don't understand; you can't!" Kim screamed at him.

"You're right; I don't understand why you're throwing away what we have." Ron glared. "So how about you explain it to me, then?"

"You hate me, you really hate me." Kim murmured, making Ron slap his palm in frustration. This was not how he wanted their conversation to be going.

"No, no, Kim, I don't hate you." Ron hastened to reassure. "I just don't want to lose you. I've been worried sick about you. You haven't called, you haven't even so much as said hello when I walk past you. The only thing I want to know is why."

"I have to do this... can't let it happen." Kim whispered.

"Can't let what happen?" Ron wanted her to continue.

"What I keep seeing... the images in my nightmares." Kim began to talk, mostly to herself. Ron had a feeling that she had half-forgotten that he was even with her. "This voice inside me that keeps telling me to attack."

"Attack who?" Ron wondered.

"Everyone!" Kim screamed. "No matter where I go, I have people staring at me! I see kids run away from me when they realize who I am! They think I'll slaughter them all if they give me half a chance! I've been kidnapped, manipulated, and now I have to deal with these fuckers on top of it!" Kim rarely used such words, which made it obvious that her mental state was deteriorating.

"Remember what you always told me: that it was only my true friends who mattered, that I shouldn't care what others think of me." Ron reminded her. It was a speech she had given him countless times when he moaned about others not liking him. "The same applies to you. People are stupid, you know that. Just remember: you have me, you have your family, even the tweebs."

"The tweebs are too terrified to go near me after I threatened to feed them their entrails." Kim sneered, but it soon degenerated into a sad sigh. "I can't do this, Ron, I just can't. Do you have any idea what it's like having people who once admired you staring at you with hate?"

"Yes, I can understand quite well." Ron informed her. It had became just a daily part of his adolescence. "You feel that there's no escape, that you can't get away, and you just want it to end."

"Ron, please, just respect my wishes and leave me alone." Kim sighed, all the fight having gone out of her. "I can't do this; I can't risk hurting you."

"How are you going to hurt me?" Ron wondered, honestly confused.

"I already hit you!" Kim screamed at him. It was something she swore she would never do, no matter how angry she had gotten at him, but she had broken that promise in her sleep. "Maybe they're right; maybe I'm no different than my brother and... he was right, you know?"

"He lied to you; you can't listen to anything he says." Ron tried to get through to her, already sensing that this was a losing battle.

"No, I mean... about everyone who admired me." Kim whispered. "He said they'd turn against me, that I actually meant nothing to them but a face. Ambrose... Ambrose was right, right about nearly everything. Whatever this is, Ron, I can't let it hurt you. Please just give me some space."

"All right, if that's what you really want." Ron replied, his heart shattering. "Just remember: you don't have to go through all of this alone."

He turned around and headed out the house, starting to think that this friendship of theirs may not be repaired after all. It was obvious that Kim was falling apart, but she was pushing him away in a misguided effort to protect him. Why would she think this is the best solution? Ron wondered. It reeked of her personality, however, thinking of her friends, however twisted her mindset was. Part of him was angry with her, but Ron found it impossible to hold a grudge.

He walked out the door just as the family car with pulling in. James immediately greeted him, a hopeful look on his face. "Ah, hello, Ronald, good to see you." James greeted.

"Never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth, especially when KP and I were dating." Ron admitted.

"I was concerned, as every father is about their little girl." James offered by way of explanation. "So my little girl finally let you back here, huh?"

"Actually... she just threw me out." Ron replied sadly. "For some reason, she thinks that this is supposed to protect me." She needed help, and he thought of someone who might be able to provide it. I just hope they're willing to do it.

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Kim watched Ron walk out from her bedroom window, her heart breaking a little more with each step he took. I have to do this; I can't hurt him. Kim thought. As much as it hurt, she'd endure every last bit of it if it meant protecting him.

On the other hand... she noticed that her hatred, even if it had not disappeared entirely, had at least lessened in his presence. Her horror at hurting him may have driven her to push him away, but at the same time, the implications began to calm her. She knew where the path of darkness led; Ambrose had made that perfectly clear and it wasn't one she wanted to follow.

It was way she spent as much of her time as she could alone, in her home. It didn't silence them, but every time she faced the fearful stares of the crowd, her hatred ignited. The fact that her brother was right about it hurt her more than she could truly put into words. Ron dealt with it all the time, and she had merely brushed it off, telling him to be himself. Now she was beginning to understand what being a pariah was really like.

"I've got to find a way to get control of... whatever this is." Kim admitted. She tried her usual calming routine, martial arts, but now it only seemed to heighten her anger. Kim saw enemies everywhere and after a dangerous incident, she knew that she would have to find another way. Anything's possible for a Possible, she told herself and she did everything she could to live up to those words, but Kim was at her wit's end.

One thing she had noticed, though: her anger was strongest when her father was around. Kim still couldn't yet forgive him, even though he had apologized over and over and only relented when she started screaming at him.

"Kim, sweetie, did Ron actually come over?" Her mom entered her room cautiously. She was slightly easier to talk to for Kim, not that it was saying much.

"Yeah, he wanted to talk." Kim sighed, looking away, hoping her mother would get the message and leave her alone. "I just can't see him right now."

"Kim, you've been using that excuse for over a month." Her mom told her sternly. "The poor boy's falling apart because you won't talk to him. When I saw him, it looked like he was about to cry. You should have seen his face."

"I can live with him hating me if it means he stays safe." Kim vowed.

"Do you know what kind of damage you're doing to yourself?" Her mom asked. They had this conversation many times before and by now, Kim could practically recite it by heart. "This isn't healthy for you, cutting everyone out of your life. We're all trying to help you get through this, sweetheart; all you need to do is let us help you."

"How am I supposed to do that when I'm ready to rip someone's limbs off?" Kim demanded. Jim and Tim were listening at the door, and beat a hasty retreat at Kim's vicious glare. "I'm angry all the time, and... part of me actually enjoys it. I feel stronger, more powerful when I'm like this." She braced herself for what she had to say. "I... I actually hit him when he woke me up. I hit Ron! I saw him gasping on the floor! What kind of friend does that make me?"

"Kim, you're being too hard on yourself." Her mom soothed. "You were having a nightmare; I know Ron doesn't hold a grudge. He's trying to help you, just like the rest of us, and if you don't stop this, you may lose one of the best things in your life!"

"What has he ever done for me, anyway?" Kim's rage flared again. "When I was kidnapped, Ron cheated on me with Shego! Maybe I could forgive him if it was someone else, but her? My enemy?! I... I'm sorry, but I can't just move past that and I'm afraid that if I spend time with him, this... urge of me will overwhelm me."

"Kim, I didn't want to have to do this, but I think it's time." Her mother grimaced. It was little more than denial that caused her to delay as long as she did.

"What do you have in mind?" Kim clenched her fists. "I swear to god, if you plan on locking me in a mental hospital..." A flash entered her mind, and she only barely restrained herself from attacking her. What's wrong with me? Kim gasped to her. Was I really about to... Much as she wanted to hide from it, she knew the truth. Maybe she really did need help.

"At first, I thought you were simply working through your trauma, but this isn't normal, Kim." Her mother informed her. "What I had in mind was an MRI scan. It's possible that Ambrose might have done something to you without your knowledge to make you like this."

"Are... are you sure?" Kim asked, skeptical. "Wouldn't I know if that was the case?"

"Not necessarily; we still don't know for sure just what all of his skills were." Ann responded. "I'm not going to force this on you, but I think it's a good idea. Will you do it?"

"If it means this stops, yes." Kim agreed.

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"God, it's boring in here!" Shego complained as she walked around Drakken's lair, one of the few that he still possessed after the Shadow fiasco. Most of the others had been destroyed and ransacked for equipment.

The problem was that she always needed to be doing something. Shego was an adrenaline and simply walking around an underground facility in the middle of the desert was not her idea of entertainment. She wanted to be outside, and even the constant sparring with the synthrodrones was not enough to keep her occupied.

Normally, this is when I would be breaking into some top-secret lab for Drakken's idiotic take-over-the-world schemes. Shego hadn't previously realized just how much of her time that had taken up. Now that she was no longer active, she was looking for something to do. She still wasn't sure of just what path she wanted to take. She had received a pardon, yes, but it did not protect her from any future crimes she committed.

As for Drakken, he seemed to be taking a long vacation from villainy. He hadn't bought or stolen anything from Henchco since he woke up from his coma, and there were rumors that he was giving up entirely. Shego was skeptical of that. As far as she saw, he didn't have a life outside his lame plans. Every once in a while, he came up with something that was halfway impressive, not that it ever stopped Kim Possible from stopping them.

"If I never see her again, it'll be too soon." Shego barely suppressed a shudder of fear. That murderous look in her eyes during Camp Wannaweep was not something she ever wanted to experience again. She truly believed that she was about to die.

To complicate things, Drakken constantly asked her how she was doing, if he could get her anything, and often going of his own accord to grab something, usually a beverage she didn't want. Why was he so obsessed with chocolate milk, anyway? "Another mystery of the universe," Shego shook her head. It was nice to know that he cared about her, that this was more than just a professional relationship, but his constantly worrying was driving her up the wall. She needed to get out of this place before she went nuts.

Shego pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and saw that she had a missed call from Ron. Now that is a definite possibility, Shego mused. The thought of seeing him filled her with pleasure. Normally, she was not shy about pursuing someone that she had an interest in, but... this was different. Over the course of their deadly adventures, she had fallen for him, truly fallen, in a way that she believed was impossible for her.

But does he feel the same way? Shego wondered. He was attracted to her, definitely. That was obvious to her, but did he feel anything deeper? Honestly, she had figured that he would go right back to Princess after she was rescued. She had hardened her heart in preparation and resolved to try and forget that their partnership ever existed. However, he seemed interested in at least being friends... and perhaps something more.

"Shego, I've been looking all over for you!" Drakken interrupted her thoughts, looking at her sternly. "Don't run off like that!"

"I'm your assistant, not a little kid!" Shego snapped at him. "I'll go wherever I damn well please, got it? Otherwise, we could play a nice game of 'Make Drakken go ouch!'"

"I just meant..." Drakken stammered out. "You haven't been yourself ever since I got back."

"Neither have you," Shego reminded. "Do you have your next unnecessarily complicated and doomed to fail scheme to take over the planet?"

"Shego, I really don't appreciate your attitude." Drakken complained. "Hmm, Dementor never has to deal with any of his assistants mouthing off to him all the time. All I mean is that I'm concerned about you. We are... sort of an evil family."

"Look, I'll be fine." Shego groaned. "Just go and sing karaoke with the henchmen... well away from earshot."

"Okay, okay," Drakken raised his hands in surrender. "But you know, if there's something you want, there's nothing stopping from just reaching out and taking it. I suppose you're well enough to travel now that your leg has healed."

"You know... I might just do that." Shego gave a sly smile.

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