Jack sighed as he remembered back to the day he first laid eyes on Karen. Stretched out on his bed, with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed, to anyone observing him it would've looked like he was napping. Truth was, he was a little bit tired, but he was only taking a rest; the night wasn't over quite yet.

It was Karen's birthday, and Jack had planned an elegant and elaborate evening for them to celebrate. They had gone out to dinner with Will and Grace at Balthazar's, just like old times, then he and Karen had stopped for ice cream in Columbus Circle. They had sat on the edge of the fountain, Jack wrapping his arm around Karen's shivering shoulders as they enjoyed their icy treat that was just a smidge too cold for the fall evening.

Nothing could've brought them down tonight, though - it was the first night in months that Jack had spent the entire evening out, and it had gone perfectly. He had been taking the pills Ben had given Karen for almost six months, and so far they seemed to be helping. For weeks Jack and Rosario had been planning Karen's birthday surprise, and it had all paid off. He wouldn't trade anything in the world for the look on her face when he had knocked on her bedroom door, dressed in his best slacks and button up with a dozen red roses in his hand, inviting her on their evening out.

Now they were back in the penthouse, and he had instructed Karen to change into her night clothes. He had quickly changed into his wine-colored silk pajamas, a nervous excitement building in his stomach for the final part of their evening.

There was a soft knock on the door, and then Karen peeked her head in as Jack sat up.

"Come in," he instructed her, patting the spot next to him on the bed where he wanted her to sit. She did, and he reached a hand up to pull the clip out of her hair that was holding it pinned pristinely in place. The rest of the evening had been fancy and proper, but they were home now, and he wanted to finish everything out comfortably and relaxed.

She cocked her head to the side and looked at him questioningly as her long, dark hair fell around her shoulders, gently kissing the straps of her black negligee. He just smiled back and stroked her cheek. He noticed, for the first time, that she was looking old. And he loved it.

"Thanks, honey," she told him softly, "…for tonight. It was the best birthday."

"No, Kare, thank you," he replied, dropping his hand from her cheek to her knee. "I…I can't tell you how much it means to me, everything you've done…" his words trailed off as his voice broke, and he finished his sentiment with a bleary-eyed smile. They didn't talk about their circumstances often, and Jack found it hard to. He would never be able to thank Karen enough for the way she was caring for him and devoting her life to him. Just thinking about it moved him.

Karen didn't respond, just took his hand in hers and kissed the back of it, squeezing it tightly.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" she asked him sweetly.

"Yeah," he responded. "But your birthday isn't over yet - I've got one more thing for you."

He stood from the bed, grabbing both of her hands to help her stand. She looked up at him, into his eyes, her own full of wonder and curiosity.

Jack led Karen down the hall and around the corner, and stopped in front of a closed door. This door used to lead to the nursery they had set up for Katie, Elliot's daughter, after she had been born and would spend some weekends with Jack and Karen. It had housed all of the nursery furniture of what Jack had once known as the "Forbidden Room" in Karen and Stan's manse - the nursery that Karen had assembled when she had first become pregnant, all those years ago. For awhile, that room had been the habitat for Ben and Laila when their parents had needed a night alone, just as this room had been for Katie. When she had turned three, however, and graduated to a big girl bed in the guest bedroom down the hall, this nursery had been abandoned and forgotten about, until recently.

"Close your eyes," Jack instructed, as they stood outside of the closed door. Karen rolled her eyes, but obliged, and Jack pushed the door open and led her inside the room.

Karen heard Jack flip the light switch, and when he allowed her to open her eyes, found herself surrounded by books. Bookshelves lined the walls from floor to ceiling, and in the middle of the room was a lovely little chaise lounge with an antiquated cocktail table and beautiful reading lamp. The one big window in the room was draped with blood-red velour curtains, thick enough to keep any sunlight out if so desired.

"Your own, personal library," Jack announced. He beamed at her, obviously pleased with her awe-struck response to his efforts.

Karen ran her hand along the spine of a row of books as she slowly walked around the room, noticing how he had taken the time to alphabetize all of her novels and categorize them into genre.

"Jack…this - this is so thoughtful," she breathed, finally turning back towards him, as he stood in front of the chaise lounge and watched her enjoying her birthday present. "Thank you." She rushed into his arms, throwing hers around him in a tight embrace.

They stayed like that for a moment, and Karen closed her eyes, breathing in his scent and letting his hands gently caress her bare back. She pulled away from him slowly, and looked up at his face to find him gazing back down at her, the smile gone from his face, and a serene, intense look in its place. And then, very slowly, and very gently, he bent his face down to hers, and kissed her lips.

"Karen," Jack whispered her name when their lips broke, "sit down." He took hold of her elbow, their arms still wrapped around each other, and sat them down on the plush lounger behind them.

"What is it?" she asked him, suddenly worried by his seriousness amidst their tender moment.

Jack smiled at her concern, and twisted his fingers around hers.

"Let's get married."

Karen let out a hearty laugh, her eyebrows pulled so high up in surprise that Jack thought they might jump off of her face. Jack flashed back to the first time he heard her laugh all those years ago after her wedding to Stanley.

"What?" Her voice was incredulous with disbelief.

"Yeah, you know," he began, smiling as he explained. "We've been living together for almost 30 years, neither of us have been with anyone in ages…" he shrugged. "And I love you, Kare, and I want to make sure that you get everything, you know, when…" his voice trailed off, and Karen frowned at him.

"But Jack…"

"It wouldn't have to be a whole big production or anything…I was thinking just something really simple, maybe on the rooftop with just a few people."

"Wouldn't that make it so weird though? Having those titles…everything that goes with it? It's not exactly conventional…"

"Would you call this conventional?" Jack asked, motioning in a way to indicate their situation, their current living arrangement.

"No, I guess not."

"Weirder things have happened."

Karen bit her lip and pretending to smooth the fabric of her nightgown. She couldn't deny that this was something she had only dreamt about until now. Her only reservation was in the fact that she knew getting married to Jack would mean something completely different than it ever would to him.

"What if we didn't have a wedding," Jack suggested, sensing her hesitation. "What if it was more of a…commitment ceremony? We're committed, right? - We're a little old to be having a big white wedding anyway…then it wouldn't be as big of a deal. We don't even need rings or anything."

"I don't know…"

Jack lowered his head to place his face in her eye line and found her eyes, and a shy smile.

"Come on, Kare," he whispered, pulling her close to kiss her neck playfully. "Consider it…my dying wish," he breathed into her ear, suddenly much more serious. Karen closed her eyes, soaking up the bittersweet moment and replaying the promise she had made to him that he could spend whatever time he had left however he wanted, and she would be right there by his side for all of it.

"Oh, ok!" she giggled, as his tongue teased her earlobe. "Yes! I do! …or whatever."

Jack threw his arms around her and squeezed her tightly.

"Thank you."

She grinned and pecked his lips, stood to lead them out of the library. She had had enough excitement for one night. But before she could go anywhere, Jack grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down next to him.

Their faces lingered, centimeters apart, as he pushed her hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, her eyes never leaving his lips. Karen closed her eyes as their bodies were drawn together, and slowly, quietly, she felt the soft skin of his lips on hers.

This kiss was not as chaste, and soon Jack's tongue was begging entrance to Karen's mouth. She obliged, using her hand on the back of his neck to draw them closer together. His hand ran up her thigh and she moaned in his mouth. It had been so long since she had been touched like that. Karen didn't know if he was doing this because he genuinely wanted to or because he felt like it was the only way to show her how much she meant to him - that he would put aside even his own repulsion at any trace of heterosexuality for her - but she didn't care.

Jack's fingertips tingled where he traced the curves of Karen's body, as their hot breath continued to mix in their locked mouths. He was overcome with a savage desire for her deflowering, if nothing else than just to show that she belonged to him. The connection he felt to her, his now almost-wife, his best friend, was stronger than anything he had ever felt before. And he wanted her to feel good; he wanted to please her. In that moment, all of the restraints of "who he was" and his "sexual orientation" simply dissolved; male or female, it didn't matter. What only mattered was the way he felt about her. It was like he was colorblind.

He slid the strap of her negligee down her shoulder slowly, following its curved path down her arm with his palm, and then with his lips. Karen ran her hands under his pajama shirt, the cold silk on the back of her hands contrasting sharply with the heat emanating from his skin. As he kissed between her breasts and back up her jaw line, her chest rose and fell heavily as she became more and more aroused.

"Jack," she moaned, pulling his hands off of her and taking them in her own. He pulled away from her skin and searched her eyes, wondering why she had stopped him. "Let's just go to bed." Her voice was resigned, and Jack sighed. The mood was killed, but they both knew it couldn't go any further, for several reasons.

Karen fell asleep curled up in Jack's arms that night, dreaming about becoming his wife and thinking about what could have happened in the library earlier if she hadn't stopped them. If only, if only.