2006

The first time it had happened, Karen was sad. The second time it happened, she was devastated.

She shouldn't have been surprised; nothing about the situation would have led one to believe that she could've actually carried a baby to term. She was almost 48, she was going through a divorce, two of her best friends were in the fight of a lifetime so her stress was insurmountable - all of the odds were against that little embryo that had nested in her aging uterus. And the odds had beaten it.

Upon their return to Karen's manse from the hospital, Jack carried her up the stairs and laid her on her bed, tucking her in under the heavy duvet and turning out the light. She didn't cry or complain, didn't express any discomfort, but it was painfully obvious how hard she was taking this. It was like the light had gone out of her eyes.

Jack crawled under the covers and snuggled up to her, but she was unresponsive. He draped his arm across her waist, but she barely moved beneath his touch.

"Kare?"

"I want to be alone."

"But, Karen-"

"I want to be alone."

Jack knew when to stop pushing her, so he kissed her cheek before sliding out of the bed and leaving the room. He didn't go home right away, but stayed in the library down the hall for a few hours should she need him.

Seated on the love seat across from the fireplace, he took his face in his hands and rubbed his tired eyes, replaying recent events in his mind.

When Karen had told him that she was pregnant - with their baby, it was like nothing he had ever felt before. A big part of him was ecstatic and beyond thrilled that his plan had worked. He had rarely seen Karen as happy as when she came back from the doctor's office that day, and for a few weeks, it seemed as though things were going to work out.

But then there was the part of him that had to face the reality that once this baby was born, his life as a social gay man was over. He would be tied to Karen and this child forever, which was something he wanted, but also something that would cause a drastic change in the way he was leading his life. There would be no more serial dating, no more sneaking in and out in the middle of the night. Karen and this baby would have to become the focus of his life instead of his own self interest - an adjustment he wasn't quite sure he was ready to make.

Nothing seemed real when he found Karen in her bed that day, barely awake but already sobbing. He had thrown back the covers to find her lying in a pool of blood, and the events that transpired played out as though he were in a hazy dream, some false storefront of reality.

Now that it was all over, it seemed as though she had never even been pregnant. They hadn't told anyone else about the baby yet, in case a situation such as the one they had found themselves in was to occur, and Karen was still a month or so away from showing. There were no visible signs that their child had even existed, and now it didn't. And in some ways, Jack was relieved.

For the next four days, Karen stayed in bed. Jack was by her side some of the time, when she felt like allowing him to sleep next to her. Purely out of anger over her circumstance, she couldn't help feeling some resentment towards him. He was the one that had gotten them into this situation, after all. But she was almost more upset at the fact that he didn't seem nearly as upset by this as she was.

Day after day, night after night, Karen locked herself into the master suite, shutting out the sunlight and refusing food. She found solace in the liquor cabinet next to her bed, easily making up for the martinis she had missed out on the past few weeks when she was pregnant. She didn't speak to Will or Grace, barely looked at Rosario, and only let Jack into the bedroom because she couldn't resist his sparkling blue eyes as he pouted at her, begging entrance so that he could be sure she wasn't suffering completely alone. But it wasn't enough.

On her sixth day of seclusion, Jack was reading a magazine while sitting on the bed next to Karen as she drifted in and out of sleep. She didn't look up when there was a knock at the door, but Jack rushed over to answer it. She couldn't see them, but Karen heard Jack and Rosario speaking in hushed voices.

"What is he doing here?" she heard Jack ask. Rosario mumbled something in response.

"No, I can't see him right now, I'm with Karen," Jack hissed. Karen lay perfectly still.

"Just tell him I'll call him later."

Karen heard the door close and felt Jack slide back into the bed next to her. She debated pretending to be asleep, but couldn't contain these feelings any more.

"Are you seeing someone?" she asked, sitting up to face him.

"What?" he looked caught off guard. "I thought you were sleeping."

"Well, I'm not. Are you seeing someone?" she repeated, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I…It…That's not important," he stammered, finding her hand and taking it in his own.

"Yes - it is," she told him, slapping his hand away. "How can you be with someone already? It's been five days since we lost our baby, Jack! And you're already out running around with God-knows-who!" Her voice was raised now, her frustration growing as the words spilled out. "Aren't you upset at all?"

"Of course I am."

"Well you sure aren't acting like it!"

Now Jack was steamed, too. Maybe it was because he couldn't possibly know what it was like to have a child growing inside of him, or to have the one thing he wanted more than anything else in his life to die inside of him, or maybe it was because he already had a son - but for whatever reason, he just couldn't understand what Karen was going through, as hard as he tried to empathize. But he certainly didn't feel that he should be punished for that.

"Karen! Aren't I allowed to keep on living, even though you refuse to? It's not like we're married."

"I know that," she snapped at him, perhaps a little too bitterly. They glared at each other for a moment before Karen had a sharp, low intake of breath and her eyes opened with realization. "This started before we lost the baby, didn't it? You were already seeing this guy!"

Jack frowned, but didn't deny it.

"This is not my fault, Karen, and I'm upset too. Don't you realize that I was going to give everything up for you?"

His voice was soft now, but intense. A rage building beneath the surface unlike Karen had ever experienced from him before.

"I never asked you to."

"Then what the hell do you want from me?"

"I want you to get out," Karen whispered, snapping her head away from him as tears threatened to fall. He didn't move, frozen to the spot. "Get out," she repeated, looking back towards him. This time her voice was strong and solid, a conviction in her eyes that went straight to his heart. He could go have his fun with his latest boy toy, while she laid there in her bed for as long as she wanted to, grieving for the loss of her last chance.

As far as she was concerned, their strongest tie had been severed.