2007

Six months. In the grand scheme of life, it wasn't that long. But when you spent six months away from your best friend - and not just away from them, but completely void of them - it feels like an eternity.

Karen never ran into Jack in Grace's office, and never called him on the phone. The dinners that the four of them had shared every week were long over, as Will and Grace were still not speaking. And so there was never any interplay between them; Karen would talk to Will and she would talk to Grace, but they wouldn't talk to each other, and she wouldn't speak to Jack.

But as time wore on, she began to miss him. And she saw what being without Will had done to Grace. She had turned cold, not altogether unhappy with her new life as a wife and a mother, but sometimes she seemed…absent, as though a part of her soul were missing. And in a way, it was.

Karen didn't want to get like that.

But she didn't know how to go back to Jack.

And so, she didn't.

He went through a revolving door of boyfriends, and for the first time in a couple of years he was wholly sexually satisfied. The one time he had made love to Karen hadn't been as bad as he had expected, but after that he was positive that nothing could ever be as good as sex with a man. He loved men, and they loved him. After the possibility of being the father to Karen's child had evaporated, he had felt a new liberation. Maybe it was a sign, he thought. It should've been obvious that he wasn't cut out for fatherhood, and no child deserved having parents who weren't in love - and he wasn't in love with Karen - so maybe this was nature's way of avoiding a miserable, unnecessary existence.

Yes, he felt at peace with what had happened. He had tried, but clearly it wasn't meant to be. At first when Karen had kicked him out of the manse and shut him out of her life, he was hurt and angry. But after a couple of weeks, it had dawned on him that maybe this was a new opportunity for him to shake his "hag" and finally find true love with a man he could spend the rest of his life with. He became spiteful towards her, falsely empowered to be rid of her. As he began dating again, he was feeling euphoric, like he was high on the drug of second chances.

But like all drugs, the feeling wore off.

And he missed her.

She haunted his dreams at night, filled his thoughts during the day. He missed her giggle and the smell of her expensive perfume. He missed the way she made him laugh and her contagious confidence. Sometimes, he would stand outside the gas station across the street from Grace's office, pretending to watch the taxis go by while really waiting for her to come out of the building. In his fantasy they would lock eyes, carelessly trek across the several traffic lanes that separated and run into each other's arms, crying their apologies and promising to never fight again.

But then he would remember the coldness in her eyes as she had ordered him out of her bedroom that day, how her arms were folded across her stomach, as though protecting her newly-emptied womb from him, like he had personally caused her miscarriage.

On a chilly early March evening, Karen entered Will and Jack's apartment building with her hands shaking slightly. She was going to Will's apartment to have dinner with him and Vince, and apparently they had some big news to tell her. She was excited to see them both after a rather lengthy hiatus, but also terrified that she would run into Jack. He did just live across the hall, after all.

To her horror, her fear was realized as the elevator doors dinged open on the ninth floor, to reveal Will leaned against the frame of the door to his apartment, laughing with a relaxed-looking Jack, his back to Karen as she stepped out of the elevator.

As soon as Will saw her, he froze, straightened his posture and cleared his throat. Jack fell silent too, and turned around to follow Will's gaze.

"Karen," Will greeted her, trying desperately to dissolve the awkwardness of the situation. But Karen could barely hear him as he welcomed her into his apartment, for her attention was completely captured by Jack.

She hadn't seen his face in months, only dreamt about it. And now that he was here again, in front of her, she wanted so badly to run to him and hold him in her arms, to have that familiarity back between them like nothing had ever changed. But things had changed, and she was faced with that reality as the two of them stared at each other, neither one of them knowing how to act.

"I'll see you later, Will," Jack finally mumbled before turning sharply on his heel and rushing into his apartment. Karen watched him intently, only turning back towards Will when Jack's apartment door clicked shut in front of them.

Will ushered her inside his apartment, rubbing her back gently as he walked behind her and led them to the couch. He was completely aware of the rift between her and Jack, and she was doing a poor job hiding her discomfort from what had just happened in the hall. Will knew at some point he would have to talk to her about it, but now was not the time. He had other things on his mind.

Karen sat down on the couch automatically and Will handed her a wine glass. She took a sip without thinking, grateful to have a prop to dispel the discomfort she was feeling.

"So what's this big announcement?" she asked, as Vince entered the living room from the hallway and kissed her cheek in greeting. He and Will shared an anxious glance, and Will couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Well," he began, pausing to take Vince's hand, "you know how much I've always wanted kids…"

Karen felt her throat tighten. She had the sinking feeling that she knew what was coming next.

"We're going to have a baby!" Vince finished enthusiastically, unable to wait for Will to complete the thought himself.

"Wow!" Karen exclaimed, a bit too flat. She tried her best to look happy for them. Her fingernails dug into the glass of the wine glass in her hand, and her muscles itched to jump up from the couch and run as far away from this apartment as she could. Under any other circumstance, she would've been thrilled for her friends. But this timing was just awful, and she couldn't handle it.

Vince and Will watched her nervously, the smiles that were plastered on their faces beginning to droop as they realized that her delighted reaction had a sad and sinister undertone.

"That's….I….congratulations, guys," Karen choked out. She set her glass on the coffee table. "Could you excuse me…?"

She collapsed against the wall as soon as the door to the apartment had closed behind her. She pressed her palms against the smooth, solid surface behind her to assure herself that there was some stability in her life, even if it was only the wall beneath her flesh.

Her breaths were slow and controlled; she was trying hard not to cry, her eyes closed tightly to stop the tears from falling.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her arm, and opened her eyes slowly, preparing to explain to Will why she was in the hallway outside of his apartment having a panic attack after he had just given her the best news of his life.

But when she opened her eyes, it wasn't Will standing before her, it was Jack.