Chapter 5 – Slipping Away

"You look much better now."

"Yeah, it's amazing what a nap and a shower will do for a gal." Caelan joined her friend in the kitchen. She was dressed, but her hair was still wrapped up in a towel.

"I was thinking about going into town for something to eat. I don't really feel much like cooking. Wanna come with me? Get some air?"

"That sounds good. Murphy knows I'm here, I'm sure he's told everyone else by now. No need to hide out." Mary chuckled. "Let me just do my hair and we can go." Caelan headed back up to her room; actually, it was Mary's old room. When her parents died, she reluctantly moved into their room.

Caelan had stayed with her through the funeral, and for awhile afterward, but she couldn't stay forever. Caelan had always been thankful that her own Ma looked out for her, even when she couldn't.

She un-wrapped her hair and started to comb through it, not an easy task where naturally curly hair is concerned. She found herself wandering towards the infamous window as she combed. Peering outside towards her house, she was relieved to see that no one was outside. Caelan didn't want to run into her family as she left with Mary. 'I think I've met my confrontation quota for the day.' She finished up her hair, threw her damp towel over the foot board of her bead and rejoined her friend downstairs.

The pair were relatively quiet as they drove into town. Once Mary parked the car, Caelan opened the door and dropped a half-smoked cigarette on the ground, extinguishing it with her boot.

"I thought you quit?" Mary asked with a smirk.

"It's my brothers. They've driven me back to smoking." She confessed.

"Yet another reason to yell at them when you see them again." Caelan scoffed as the two walked arm-in-arm towards the restaurant.

After dinner, the two walked around town a bit, and Caelan stopped into a store to pick up a few things. Mary waited for her outside, leaning against the door frame of the shop, a deep yawn escaping from her mouth. It had been a long day, and she was looking forward to getting to bed. She was just about to close her eyes to relax for a moment when she heard a familiar voice from around the corner. She snapped her attention towards the sound and sure enough, it was Connor and Maggie was with him. Mary moved to the other side of the door to cut him off. He smiled for a moment when he saw her.

"How are ya, Mary?" He gave her a quick hug.

"Connor. It's good to see you." Mary glanced in Maggie's direction. "What brings you to town?"

Connor scrubbed the back of his head with his knuckles. "I'm sorry, this is my fiancée Maggie. Maggie, meet Mary O'Neill."

Maggie extended her hand and Mary accepted it. "It's nice to meet you, Mary. I've heard a lot about you."

Mary chuckled. "All good I hope."

The three shared an awkward pause. "Your sister is inside." Mary finally spoke again, motioning towards the store with her head.

Connor felt himself tense at the statement. He wanted to rush inside, but he fought the impulse. "I figured as much."

Mary was about to say something else when Caelan abruptly exited the store. "Mare, cigarettes are so cheap here! They're like ten bucks a pack in New York." Her mood suddenly changed when she saw her brother. "Connor."

Connor watched as her expression hardened. Now he knew how Murphy felt when he said she looked at him like he was a stranger, "Cae." It was all he could manage.

Caelan turned back to Mary. "I got everything I needed. Ready to head back?" Mary could hear her friend's voice getting shaky, so she nodded quickly to end the conversation.

Caelan started to walk away from them, and Mary followed. Mary could see the tears building in her friend's eyes.

"Hang on Cae, we're almost away." She put her arm around her for support.

Connor watched the pair as they walked away. His heart broke when he saw Mary put her arm around his sister. "I have to talk to her. We can't go on like this."

Maggie put her arm around him. "Tomorrow. Let's just get what we need for now and get home."

Connor silently nodded in agreement. He returned the embrace and entered the store, Maggie at his side.

The entire house had gathered around the table for breakfast. Once Ma and Da returned the night before, they were told of the situation with Caelan. No one was in the mood to talk much after that and it continued on into the next morning.

Murphy had apologized to Maggie the night before, but he hadn't slept well and still felt very tense about the whole situation. It was an awkward breakfast but Connor decided he'd take a chance and break the silence.

"Saw old man Flannigan at his store last night. His wife is doing a lot better, Ma. He wanted me to tell you."

Annabelle sighed. "That's good to hear. She fell and broke her arm, the poor thing."

"Saw Caelan last night, too." The table fell silent again, except for Murphy.

"Did she say anything to ya?" He asked, his voice hopeful.

Connor just shook his head. Murphy looked down at his plate.

"Well, I'm glad she's here. Just wish she'd come over and visit with me. Family was always very important to her." Annabelle said with a sigh.

Murphy glared at her, "The fuck's that supposed to mean?"

Annabelle glared at her son, "It doesn't fucking mean anything Murphy. I just miss my daughter," she snapped defensively.

Murphy kept going. "Family is important to Caelan, but not to me and Connor, is that what you meant?"

"No that is not what I fucking meant. Not everything is about you and your fucking brother in case you weren't aware." Annabelle stood from the table, turned to the counter and busied herself by making two more plates of food. "I'll be across the street," she said as she stomped from the kitchen.

"Ya know she didn't mean it like that." Connor said once she was gone.

"Yeah, well that's what it fucking sounded like to me." Murphy pouted, scowling.

Maggie stood from the table. "I'm going for a walk. I need to get some air."

"Want me to go with ye'?" Connor offered.

Maggie smiled at him. "No, that's alright. I won't go far." She gave him a quick kiss before heading to her room to change. Connor lit a cigarette from his pack and passed it to Murphy. Will did the same with his cigar.

"Boys, we need ta talk." He started.

"Oh, what now?" Murphy barked.

"Shut yer trap for a minute would ya?" He took a puff of his cigar. "I think it's time we retire. I don't think I'll be returnin' to Boston."

Murphy looked at him in shock. "What? What do ya fuckin' mean, retire? We can't just quit."

Connor looked at his brother. "I've been thinkin' about quittin' too, Murph. I can't put Maggie in danger and I can't risk somethin' happenin' to me."

Murphy couldn't believe what he was hearing. "This was never our choice. The almighty chose us, and not only that, we made a fuckin' promise to Rocco that we wouldn't stop. Did you forget about that, Connor?" He pointed at him with his cigarette.

"Fuck, Murph! You think I don't know all that?" Connor rubbed his eyes in frustration. "You wanna keep slummin' around Boston cleanin' up after a city that never even fuckin' thanked us once? Smecker's good, but he can't protect us forever. Don't you want more to your life? A normal life?"

Murphy looked down at the ashtray. He had never really thought about it, in fact, for whatever reason Murphy always felt that he wasn't allowed to think that way. Will stood from the table and put his jacket on.

"I have some business to tend to in town. Go easy on your mother. You're not the only ones upset about your sister." He looked at Murphy specifically. "We'll talk more about this later." He moved from the table and exited through the back door.

Connor shook his head. "When Ma gets back, we're goin' over there. Enough is enough."

Murphy looked at him. "Wait, and say what?"

"I don't know, Murph. I don't have a plan for this one."

Murphy sighed. "Alright. Let's do the dishes while we're waitin'."

The Irish sun shone through sixteen year old Caelan's window, waking her from her restless sleep. Today was the day that Caelan had been dreading for years…possibly her whole life. Her brothers were leaving for America. She closed her eyes tightly, wishing desperately that she could sleep longer, hoping that sleeping would some how keep this day from happening.

"Caelan Joan! Outta' bed, breakfast is ready!" Her mother called from downstairs.

Caelan scowled as she got out of bed. She threw on her robe and made her way downstairs. Connor and Murphy were already dressed and sitting at the table. Caelan stopped in the kitchen doorway, silently watching her brothers eating breakfast, her mother doing the dishes behind them. She knew that this could be the last time she'd see them all this way. Caelan wanted to remember the sight forever.

The morning had passed far too quickly. Now the four were in the car on the way to the airport. Connor was driving; their mother in the front seat beside him, Caelan and Murphy sat in the back. No one said much. What could they say? Murphy looked over at Caelan who had been staring out the window. He lightly touched her arm, and she looked at him. "You ok?"

Caelan nodded wordlessly, trying her best to smile at him.

Now they were suddenly standing at the terminal in the airport. Caelan stared down at the floor while her brothers said their goodbyes to their mother. She was almost choking on the lump that had grown in her throat. She felt a hand on her shoulder and closed her eyes tightly. It was her turn.

Caelan looked up at her brothers, her eyes teary. Connor smiled at her. "Don't be sad, Cae."

She didn't say anything. She just wrapped her arms around her brothers, clinging to them as long as she could. She eased out of their grip and took a quick swipe at her eyes. "Slán mo deartháireacha." (farewell my brothers) She said the Gaelic words quickly, her voice shaky.

The brothers smiled at her before pulling her into another tight hug. Caelan didn't want to let go, but she knew she had to. Her mother moved to stand beside her as her sons slowly walked away from them. Caelan was sure she felt her heart break once they were out of sight.

Annabelle was saying something to her, trying to comfort her, but she wasn't listening. Caelan inwardly cursed her mother for doing this to them. What was so bad about staying home? What was so great about America? Why split up the family?

About an hour later, Maggie returned, and she felt much better. The Irish air had cleared her head, letting her think clearly. Once she was inside, she headed upstairs to look for Connor, but he was nowhere to be found. She was concerned because Murphy was missing too. She came back downstairs and entered to kitchen. Ma was sitting at the table reading the paper, cigarette in hand. "Ma, do you know where Connor and Murphy went?" She asked carefully.

"Aye. They went to speak to Caelan."

"Oh." Maggie absently ran her finger across the table. "Have they been gone long?"

"No. Ye just missed them actually."

"Oh."

Annabelle laughed loudly, so loudly that it made Maggie jump. She stood from the table and gave Maggie a hug. "Margaret me dear, everythin' is goin' ta be alright." She chuckled as she released her, returning to her seat. "You're sweet to worry, but ye don't have ta'. It may take all day, but the three of them will be alright."

"I hope so." Maggie said relieved. Something was still bothering her, but she didn't feel right about asking. Annabelle noticed.

"Was there something else, dear?"

Maggie nervously wrung her hands. "No…Well, yes. But it isn't any of my business."

"Whatever it is, you can ask. If I want ta answer ye, I will. If I don't, I won't."

Maggie nodded and eased herself into a chair at the table. "Well, it's about Caelan. You said before that she was mad at you for a long time…" Suddenly Maggie jumped up from her chair. "Nevermind. This really isn't any of my business."

"She was mad because I sent her brothers to America." Annabelle answered before Maggie had a chance to leave the table. "She was madder still when I sent her there two years later."

Maggie slowly sat back down in her chair. "Why did you send them away?"

Annabelle lit another cigarette. "My children were so smart, so bright. I didn't want them to waste their potential. I knew they'd do great things, but I had to send them somewhere where I thought they could."

Maggie nodded, taking in Ma's words. She understood Ma's decision, but she also understood why Caelan would be upset with her about it. "Is she still mad at you?"

"No. Caelan and I had a long talk on the phone a few years back. She told me everything, exactly what she felt. She made me realize that my decision may not have been the best one. I've only ever done what I thought was best for them. It's not like children come with fuckin' instruction manuals."

Maggie couldn't help but laugh. Annabelle flicked her cigarette into the ashtray in front of her. "Deep down Caelan really loves New York. I know she likes it better than Boston, but don't you ever tell Connor that."

Maggie chuckled again. She never had much for family and Annabelle was easy to talk to…It felt really good. Since she was marrying Connor, she'd be gaining a brother and a sister. It was like a wonderful bonus. She glanced over towards the counter. "Are there dishes? Can I do anything for you?"

Annabelle shook her head. "Me boys took care of everything while I was gone. I think I made em' feel bad at breakfast."

"But you didn't mean to..."

"I did if it means they do the dishes."

"You're good, Ma."