Beta's: 5/8/2015

Solo…

Chapter 8, Thoughts and Memories

Nymphadora Tonks sat at a small table in a tavern she normally frequented, thinking. The last month had been full of surprises and this was one of the first quiet moments she had to do just what she was doing. She took a long pull of the Guinness as she tried to sort out everything. Between her time in the Auror Corps, The Order of the Phoenix, and a few private pursuits she had little time to do so before now.

Her first thoughts were on her beloved cousin, Sirius. She missed him fiercely. He was everything her mother had told her. Funny, childish, completely irresponsible, and thankfully innocent of the crimes he was accused of. Needless to say they hit it off right from the word go.

She remembered all the pranks they had pulled together against the Order during meetings fondly. One thing her cousin could do was making people laugh, and laughter was something that was in short supply now a day with Voldemort in the open. Rarely was the old convict, no pun intended, serious about anything. One of the few times he was she still remembered with crystal clarity.

Sirius Black sat across from her in the quiet kitchen of Grimmauld Place. Her first Order meeting had been a great disappointment to her and neither of them had opted to leave the room when the others had.

Tonks found herself unimpressed with what they were doing. She had a lot of questions and had gotten few answers from Dumbledore. She could understand guarding Potter but why couldn't they talk to him? She didn't know him well, other than a few glimpses of him during her seventh year. Seventh years had almost no contact with firsties, much less firsties from other houses. Be they big shot heroes or not. She was curious now though but they were forbidden from even saying 'Hello'.

"Knut for your thoughts." She looked up at his voice and saw him sipping from a small glass of Firewhiskey. She did not know him very well yet but so far her mother had been right about him. Still, he drank too much and seemed…well off.

Considering his time in Azkaban, it could be understandable. Being trapped in this old manor was not helping him much either. Her mother had told her horror stories about this place and what it was like for Sirius growing up.

Tonks shrugged one shoulder, not voicing her disquiet. His chuckle told her he saw through her deflection.

"Not quite what you expected eh?"

Tonks frowned at being caught out so easily. She sighed not denying it. "No."

Sirius nodded as if he had expected it. "Before I was locked up, the meetings were a lot like this too. A lot has changed in the time I've been gone, but not this."

Tonks blinked surprised. "You were a part of the original Order?" Her mother never mentioned that part in her tales about her favorite cousin.

Sirius half smiled, half frowned. "Yeah, and we were losing then too. Albus can pretty it up all he wants but it's only been a month since Voldemort was returned and already I can see where the wind is blowing."

"With the Ministry denying his rebirth, we have little chance. Thanks to Fudge he has full reign to do what he likes, recruit allies, build up stockpiles, safe houses, and make plans. Still, we are doing nothing to stop him."

"Dumbledore has a plan though…" Tonks stopped talking when she noticed the murderous look in Sirius eyes. She swallowed thickly.

Realizing he was frightening her he, thankfully, closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself. When he reopened them she could still see a bit of what the Aurors called 'The Azkaban Stare' in his eyes. It was…a bit disconcerting.

"What are you willing to do to win…Tonks." She smiled. Sirius was one of the few who actually tried to make the effort not to use her first name, which everyone knew she hated. Now and again he would call her Nymie but she only allowed it because he was close to her mum back in the day when she was a baby and he used to call her that.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

He was quite while still piercing her with that half dead, half insane stare of his. "Are you willing to kill?" he whispered.

She blinked at his question but nodded. "If I have to. I don't want to, but I know it might come to that."

Her cousin nodded at her honest answer. A moment later he asked, "Being an Auror you know more about the dangers of what we are going to face than many. Still I'll ask, are you willing to die in this war?"

Tonks nodded without hesitation. "Of course."

His questions started getting a bit tougher. "If Dumbledore told you he needed you to go on a mission and this mission was high risk would you do it? Knowing full well that you most likely won't come out alive in the end, but it had to be done."

Tonks simply nodded not understanding where this was going. She was well prepared for exactly that. Moody had been giving her history lessons of the last war she knew every mission was likely to be just like that.

Sirius continued his questions. "If you found out that Dumbledore was sending out someone to do something similar, and you knew for a fact that this person had no chance whatsoever of coming out alive, much less even completing the fool mission, would you let them go? Would you be willing to sacrifice that person for the 'Greater Good'?"

Here Tonks frowned and thought out her answer. She could feel him leading into something but what she did not know. "I don't know. It would depend on who it was and if they knew what they were getting into. I mean, why would anyone be under qualified to do anything for the Order and yet be a part of it?"

Sirius nodded taking a sip of his drink but didn't answer her question. "Why do you think Harry is so important to Dumbledore?"

"I assumed it was the same reason he was important to any of us. He's Harry Potter. What's with the questions Sirius? Do you know something I don't?"

Boy did he. Tonks thought with a sigh. At the time it all sounded like ravings of a deluded paranoid ex-con, which in a lot of ways Sirius was. Over the next few months however she started to see the truth of what he was only guessing back then. When he told her that Harry was the light sides' sacrificial lamb, she laughed at him. There was just no way Dumbledore of all people would endeavor something like that. Yet the Order seemed to be strangely focused on him. The inconsistencies were getting more and more confusing.

Tonks started going over them in her mind while she lightly swirled the muggle drink her eyes looked at without actually seeing. Take guarding his house. First of all she was under the impression that it was under powerful Blood Wards. Okay, granted they were illegal and have been for some time but it's not like they were not still used. All the Pureblood manors and homes had them tied in to the schemes.

Add to this the place was the greatest kept secret in the isles. The ministry didn't even have his address on file, she knew, she looked on Dumbledore's orders. They knew where Harry lived, vaguely, just not the exact location. Well, they didn't until the Dementor thing. She was pretty sure people could suss it out now but that was beside the point. They were already guarding the place before that happened.

So back then, why the need for guards in the first place? They were even forbidden to talk to Harry, which she found really odd. It was almost like they were there not to guard Harry so much as keep him prisoner.

She herself had seen firsthand how his relatives treated him and was appalled. When she tried to bring it up to Dumbledore he only stated it couldn't have been that bad and most likely was not typical of their interactions. Tonks snorted. She had seen it happen far too often for it to be anything but typical.

The ministry had an entire department devoted to the child welfare, especially with regards to wizards or witches living with Muggles and she knew very well that they would have pulled Harry from that house in seconds had they seen what she did. When she tried to talk to Sirius about it he told her not to bother trying. He had been trying to get that department to do something about Harry's life at the Dursleys for the last two years, all anonymous of course, but nothing ever happened. He was pretty sure Dumbledore had someone on the inside that made sure nothing came through that got acted on as far as Harry was concerned.

After the Dementor thing she had changed to look like a respectable muggle woman and took a walk through Harry's neighborhood. Tonks posed as a middle-aged woman looking for a new property and used this as an excuse to look about the area and talk to the muggles. She had learned a lot more about Harry's life.

Harry had a reputation as a juvenile delinquent. She learned the rumor was that attended St. Brutus's School for Incurably Criminal Boys and was a particularly nasty example. Yet most of the people around the area didn't believe he was that bad. He was always polite to everyone, never caused any trouble, and had been seen by many of the young mothers protecting the younger ones at the park from pranks, bullying, and other actions when he was around.

One woman had even remarked how skilled he was at gardening and had told her there was no way a young man with such skills could do the things the rumor mill said he did. Of course Petunia claimed the credit for the condition and beauty of her roses but no one believed her. Too many times Harry had been seen toiling away tending those plants and everyone did see how the plants seemed to wilt when he was away as if missing his tender care.

Sirius was unsurprised by her revelations when she related them to him the following day at Headquarters. He'd known from just after his escape when he spent a few days watching over him before the he blew up his Aunt. Not that Sirius blamed him for it, on the contrary. Harry's prank was Marauder worthy, or would have been had he done it on purpose. Either way, it saved him from doing something himself as he was close to at the time.

None of it made any sense to her. She could make herself believe that his living conditions, though horrendous, might be necessary but not the treatment he suffered through during his time at Grimmauld Place. Molly Weasley had done everything she could to take control of Headquarters and ordered everyone around to her liking. Okay, she's a bossy woman so maybe that could slide, but not the subtle other things she witnessed. She would constantly berate Sirius and did everything she could to minimize his time with Harry. Add to that the fact that her constant pairing together of Ginny and Harry was so obvious that Tonks was pretty sure Harry was the only one who hadn't noticed it.

Tonks could tell Harry was only interested in Ginny as a friend by how he acted around her. Never once did he sneak a look at her bum or bits while they worked. Ginny had made a few obvious passes at him but he never seemed to notice them. As she looked back on it she did remember him sneaking looks at Hermione, and vice versa.

Sirius commented on it once that he liked the match. Ginny had a lot of the physical looks that Lily had, almost her twin really aside from her eyes. That brought all kinds of disturbing things to the old Marauders mind. He had confessed he had a hard enough time keeping Harry separate from his memories of James thanks to his time in Azkaban. If he had a go with Ginny he was pretty sure he would have slipped completely and lost it. Not great reasons why they two shouldn't date but he was pleased with Harry's choice in Hermione.

Ginny might have looked like Lily, but Hermione had Lily's mind. Lily was a brilliant witch without peer while in school. Tonks didn't know Lily Potter but she had seen pictures of her and agreed with Sirius that it would have been mildly disturbing had Harry dated someone who looked like his mother. Other than that she liked Ginny and hoped the girl got over her crush. Even though Harry and Hermione didn't act like a couple it was obvious they enjoyed each other's company and had real feelings for each other.

A smile graced Tonks face while she took a drink from her glass. The vial from Madam Midnights was proof enough they were more than 'Just Friends' now. The smile slipped as she continued her thoughts about how Harry was treated while at Headquarters.

Personally she thought he was brilliant defending his cousin from Dementors. Especially since the Order had dropped the ball and didn't. Yet people had treated Harry like he had done something wrong. Instead of praising him for saving a life they condemned him for getting in trouble with the Ministry. Tonks shook her head at that. She herself had pulled Harry aside one night and told him that she thought he did great, a corporal Patronus was no mean feat for a kid his age. Hell, it was no mean feat for a full-grown Wizard or Witch!

Then there were the issues she had with banning Harry from receiving Owl Post. First of all it was highly illegal to tamper with post of any kind to anyone. Even inmates in Azkaban got post, properly screened of course, from time to time unless they were in high security levels or lifers.

Dumbledore must have had long arms because Sirius told her that he had stopped all mail through muggle post to Owl post from getting to Harry. His explanation was that Death Eaters would discover Harry's location. She shook her head, no but the Ministry tried to kill him, which was just as bad. His minders could have easily just delivered the post personally after having the owls routed to Grimmauld Place but no, Dumbledore had shot that down too when Sirius had suggested it.

Tonks knew that Harry was getting post from someone, most likely Hermione now that the truth of their relationship was known. A few times when she was on duty she had followed him to the Muggle Post Office where he apparently had a private box. She had watched him mail letters and receive them a few times. The only person other than her who knew of it was his minders and Sirius after she told him. Dumbledore never found out which was a cause of laughter to the ex-con. Especially when she told him it was registered under James Evans.

Tonks looked up broken from her musings and thoughts when she heard a loud laugh. At the bar was a Scottish man dressed in a traditional kilt and all. She smiled when she saw him sitting next to an Irish man, each trying to outdo the other.

Only in this pub, which was why she loved it so much. The bartender didn't care who came in, Scots, Irish, businessmen, Joe Guy, or Jane Girl off the street. He happily served them all. It wasn't like that in a lot of other pubs around the isles. Tonks herself was wearing casual clothes aside from her ever-present pink hair, but in this place it was not out of place. Most people had their own look to them and odd would have been any two people dressed similarly.

Tonks lowered her eyes to her table and returned to her thinking. Sirius had noticed her disquiet through the months that passed. It had reached a critical point during the Christmas Holidays when she had a partially bad date. She had really liked the guy, Jason Wells.

Jason worked in with the Ministry in Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures. They had been seeing each other off and on for a few months and she was just starting to think she had finally broken her dating curse when just before Boxing Day he pulled out a photo of a girl he wanted her to change into. Tonks sighed, just like every other bloke she dated. It had taken two bouncers to pull her off of him when she attacked him.

She had gone to Headquarters and was drinking her woes away when Harry had found her. She was already passed drunk and working on senseless when he had sat down next to her and they started talking. Before she even knew what was going on she had told him all about her horrible date and everything that had gone wrong in her love life since she learned she was a Metamorphmagus. Harry held her while she cried and spilled her tale of sorrow, listening to everything she said. Despite having drunk an entire bottle and a half of Firewhiskey to herself she still remembered that night perfectly.

Tonks looked up and into his burning green eyes filled with compassion and understanding. She had never noticed his eyes before, so clear without his glasses and so expressive. She felt herself lean in and placed her lips on his, not noticing at the time his entire body freezing in place while she kissed him hungrily.

It took a few moments before she realized he was not returning the kiss. When she tried to slide her tongue into his mouth she found his lips firmly closed though his breath had hitched as she tentatively slid along his lips.

She slowly opened her eyes looking with confusion into his eyes. She saw sadness there. "What's wrong? Am I…am I too ugly?"

Before Harry could answer her she began unconsciously going through the forms of all the people her ex's wanted her to be trying to find one that would make him react. One moment she was a large breasted ginger, the next a slim blond. "I need this, please…whatever you want I can be…"

She got no reaction to any of those forms so started moving though his classmates she had seen him interacting with while she was guarding him at school. Brown, the Patil's, Ginny, Bones, Abbot, Greengrass, Lovegood, Chang, Davis, Parkinson, she finally got a reaction from him when she changed into Hermione.

"Anything you want Harry…" she stated in Hermione's voice. She tried leaning in again to kiss him again but the finger he placed on her lips stopped her before she moved far.

Tonks looked fearfully into his eyes silently, his finger still on her lips. His expression was so tender, as was his voice when he started speaking again. "Change back Tonks." She did. That tender look never left his face. "You don't need to do these things to get a good guy Tonks. You are not ugly but I can't be what you want me to be. I can be a friend; I would really like that, if that's okay?"

She cried herself to sleep in his arms after that. When she woke up she was horribly sick from her drinking and what she had tried to do. Tonks found herself in her room at Grimmauld, thankfully alone but no knowledge of how she got there. She spent a good part of the morning being sick until Harry and Hermione came in to help clean her up, give her a few potions to settle her stomach, and be with her.

She couldn't look either of them in the eye the entire time but Harry never said anything about the night before, and neither did she expect to vaguely say she was sorry. He gave her a hug and told her not to worry about it and if she needed anything she could always come to him.

After the holidays she went to Sirius and told him she wanted in on what he was doing to protect Harry. Maybe it was guilt for trying to take advantage of him; maybe it was appreciation of him not taking advantage of her. Didn't matter either way, she felt she owed him and this was the least she could do.

Harry was the only one who ever denied what she had shamefully offered him. After she had thought about it for a while she easily decided that she could no longer allow the things that were happening to him to continue and turn a blind eye. Together with Remus and Mad-Eye they started to become a faction within the Order whose sole goal was to help Harry. Either in protecting him from Voldemort or Dumbledore. It was decided by all of them both wizards were just as bad as the other was to him.

Tonks pulled out envelope stamped with the Gringotts seal from her back pocket. It was this bit of parchment that brought her here for a drink. It was the summons for the reading of Sirius's will and here she was in a bit of a quandary.

She knew from her talks with Sirius that Harry was the primary inheritor but if he didn't show to claim it Dumbledore would or, and far worse to her mind, Draco Malfoy. He was the closest blood kin to Sirius aside from Harry of the male descendants. Black Family tradition dictated that the estate had to fall to a male issue. Because Sirius had none that meant it fell into contestation between Draco and Harry. It didn't matter that Sirius was disowned, as the last male direct descendant he technically was Head of House Black, even if he couldn't claim it himself.

Harry had the better claim because Sirius claimed him as his heir. That coupled with the fact Harry's Grandmother was a Black from the direct line gave Harry the best claim over Draco. True, Narcissa was a Black but both Tonks mother and her were from a side branch, not directly descendant from Sirius side, as it was Sirius's father's sister that had married into the Potters. Tonks shook her head; she was nowhere near drunk enough to be thinking of the convoluted pureblood lines.

The problem was getting this information to Harry. She knew he didn't want to be found but if he didn't personally assign a proxy, Dumbledore would claim the honor and the entire estate would be under his control. Harry wouldn't be able to do anything about it until he reached his majority at seventeen. Mad-Eye had a lead but didn't give any details on it only saying that he would be gone a few days. He did say it was farfetched but any lead was better than nothing.

Of course none of them had mentioned any of this to Dumbledore, instead keeping it within their group. If they found Harry the only thing they planned to do was give him a few supplies, get him to assign the proxy and see if he was willing to keep them informed of what was going on with him just in case something happened and he needed them. Tonks hoped Moody's lead panned out; she really didn't want to see Harry screwed out of his inheritance by Dumbledore or Malfoy. It wouldn't bring Sirius back, but it would help a bit to have something of him.

Tonks absentmindedly paid for her next drink from the waitress when she came by only adding a second drink when she noticed her friend walking through the doors to the pub. Hestia Jones was not a part of their group officially but she was receptive and the two of them had been best girlfriends for the last year ever since they were partnered up on a job with the Aurors. Tonks quickly put away Harry's letter and waited while the heart faced ever blushing Hestia threaded her way through the crowd to her table. By the time she arrived their drinks had arrived.

"I love this pub. No one ever bothers me if I forget to take of my work robe when I come in here." Tonks laughed at her friends greeting while sliding her glass over to her. Hestia was still dressed in her Auror Robe but no one in the pub so much as blinked at her as she walked through them. Hometown was the only pub like this she knew of. The muggles just didn't care as long as you didn't cause trouble.

"Told you this was a great place. What's going on? I wasn't expecting you here tonight." She asked.

Hestia took a small sip from the dark amber liquid that Tonks had given her only raising an appeased eyebrow at the flavor. "Message from Mad-Eye. He thinks he found Potter and Granger."

Tonks leaned in very interested. "Where?"

Hestia had an impish smile on her when she answered. "America, somewhere in New York State he said. The local Ministry is in an uproar over a foreign and very dead Hit Wizard that tried to raid one of the Native American communities there."

"Mad-Eye said it's not an uncommon occurrence but what makes it stand out is the fact they closed their lands after they turned over the body and lodged a complaint. That and the bloke never checked himself through their countries customs which means he was there illegally."

Tonks blinked surprised. "How did he die?"

"Muggle thing, I'm not sure really. Mad-Eye said it was a clean kill though and the Native Americans are claiming credit for the kill using an old law from their Peace Accords that date back to colonial times."

Tonks whistled while she leaned back in her chair. She agreed with Moody, the whole thing had 'Harry was Involved' stamped all over it. "Hope Harry and Hermione are all right. Hit Wizards are nasty business. I wonder what tipped Mad-Eye that they went to the States? He never said when he left."

Hestia nodded her head. "I asked him that. He said that something was shipped from the room Potter used in Ireland to the States via Muggle ways. He figured they might try and retrieve it so he left to follow it. By the time he got through customs he heard about the Hit Wizard and decided it was a better lead."

Tonks nodded. It was one of the things that made Mad-Eye such a great tracker and Auror. He took small nonsense things and put the pieces together. Hestia though was not done talking. "Come on, let's hit a club. You look like you need something loud, heady, and mind killing. If we are lucky, we might even have time for a drink and a turn on the floor."

Tonks smiled and rolled her eyes at her friend's antics. Hestia had been trying to get her a date for the last few weeks so they could double with her new boyfriend. Tonks put down a few pounds for the waitress and to clear her tab before they both walked outside and into the night leaving behind their half empty beers.

Knowing Mad-Eye had a real lead and she might be able to help Harry save his inheritance lightened her heart considerably. They walked down the street talking lightly about nothing when they came across a figure in the street.

Tonks had to cover her mouth with her hand at the giggles that threatened to spill from her. It was the Scotsman she saw earlier in the pub. Apparently the Irishman won their contest and he had drunk more than his share. He was sprawled on his back just off to the side of the sidewalk in the grass lightly snoring. She turned to look at Hestia with a wicked twinkle in her eyes.

Tonks pointed her thumb at the young well-built man sleeping in the grass. "Hey Hestia, you ever wonder if true what they don't wear beneath their kilts?"

Her friend's eyes grew wide at what Tonks was suggesting but before she could stop her Tonks had started creeping close to the sleeping man. Hestia looked around frantically but no one was around and just as quietly she joined her next to him feeling her cheeks glowing in embarrassment of what they were going to do.

Being very careful not to wake the man Tonks summoned a nearby stick and slowly, gently, and very carefully stuck the tip under the hem of the kilt and lifted it a few inches so they could see. Both witches sucked in a breath as both clearly saw there was nothing more than what God had graced him with upon his birth before them. Said grace was quite impressive and both young women stood for a few moments drinking in the sight.

They marveled for a few moments before Hestia spoke in a hushed whisper, eyes still locked on the sight before her. "We should go Tonks…"

That gleam in her eyes hadn't left as Tonks nodded and handed the stick over to Hestia. Confused she tore her eyes from the sleeping man and turned to her friend questionably. Tonks reached up and pulled one of the blue silk ribbons from Hestia's hair before she answered the unspoken question. "Let's leave him a little present before we go. It's only right after all…"

Hestia's hand slightly shook while trying to hold the stick standing there watching Tonks with wide eyes. She couldn't believe her friends audacity. Tonks for her part quietly and completely focused on her feet crept up and knelt before the sleeping man they had been ogling. She never allowed her hands to touch any part of him but tied Hestia's ribbon into a bow lightly around the star of the evening. Once finished Hestia slowly lowered the hem of the kilt and both of them quietly moved away a few feet before running off like a couple of naughty school girls to apparate away in a nearby alley, laughing and blushing madly the entire way.

XxXDaRXxX

The sleeping Scotsman woke an hour later to find himself lying on the grass beside a road. Still foggy with all the drinks he and his best mate had drank that night he managed to climb unsteadily to his feet. Wobbling and unfocused he vaguely registered he needed to relieve himself so stumbled off to a nearby tree to take care of his business before he headed off home a few miles down the road.

Swaying slightly he walked around a bush next to the first tree he came to and lifted up the front of his kilt only to gawk at what he saw.

In a startled voice still looking down the drunken Scotsman couldn't help but declare aloud, "Lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you've won first prize!"

Authors Notes:

Okay, Chapter Eight revision is done. For those of you interested in the story instead of my drivel, by all means leave a review telling me what you think of this chapter, and then hit that 'Next' button. Enjoy the read. As always thank you to all reviews and readers. You are noticed and appreciated.

Credit where credit is due: I've heard the song before but happened to hear it again on the radio when I was scripting this chapter and couldn't help but use it. Do a google search for 'The Drunken Scotsman' if you want to find it. I prefer the rendition from the Irish Rovers. Major Kudos to Mike Cross who originally wrote the song and Bryan Bowers who originally recorded it. I had to hunt a bit to find these references because the lyrics have been used by a few other people who remade the song in their own ways.

Fic Recommendation: Be Careful of What You Wish For by Christina-Potter-09.