A/N 1: This is my first attempt at anything resembling a Songfic. Minutes to Midnight by Linkin Park is like one of my favorite CD's, so I decided to write a small drabble to go along with each song from the album (with the exception of Track One an instrumental, and Track Thirteen a repeated live song.). The words in italics are words that come right from the songs, but also words I would have probably used anyways..
A/N 2: I would seriously suggest listening to the CD while you read this because sometimes the song is like the internal monologue of the writing. I have created a playlist for those of you who don't have the CD handy. [www . playlist . com /playlist/18379782923/standalone] (remove the spaces and brackets... *rolls eyes at ff(dot)net*
Disclaimer: The world of Supernatural sadly belongs to Kripke and the CW. And Minutes to Midnight is property of Linkin Park.
Track Two - Given Up
"Well, Dean? You wanna come off the rack now? Give it ago…" Alistair purred.
Dean worked his jaw and spat mouthful of blood at Alistair. "Fuck you, just put me out of my fucking misery."
"That's no fun. Come on; help me tear the flesh off deserving humans… you know you wanna, if only for the break. You must be so tired after all these years and there's no escape."
"No," Dean whispered, the demon pulled on a strand of exposed muscle. He was sick of feeling and shed a single silent tear for humanity, before he gave up. "Fine."
Track Three - Leave Out All the Rest
Sam woke from a violent dream that Dean had sat and watched from the other hotel bed. "Dean, what am I leaving when I'm done here?"
The hazel eyes across the room darkened and locked with Sam's. "Million dollar question, Sammy…" he whispered roughly.
"When will it end? When can I stop apologizing? I've never been perfect, but I don't have any reasons to be missed. We don't have any…"
Dean walked over and wrapped his little brother in a hug, he whispered against Sam's hair, "I know… we're scared… tired. But, someday we'll be saved."
There was no promise.
Track Four - Bleed It Out
"You know, Mom cursed us… you. We're dealing with the fucking consequences not her."
"Shut up!" Sam shouted shoving Dean as hard as long body would allow.
"NO! We're sitting here bleeding out all because that bitch made a fucking deal with a demon," Dean shouted drunkenly. "A DEMON!"
"Dean…" Sam said dangerously.
"I don't fucking care, Just throw it all away, everything Dad taught us. Use your mojo on me open the skies, let me go, I'm tired of all the bull shit. I can't dig any deeper. I can't go any farther."
"I know it hurts…" Sam sighed.
Track Five - Shadow of the Day
Dean closed both locks below the window; he spread salt upon the sill turning he studied Sam as he lie in bed. "Maybe we should leave tomorrow."
"No," Sam mumbled. "They want me to stay… for the funeral."
Silently, Dean nodded. "Maybe we should go do something then."
"No."
"Well, fuck Sammy you can't stay in bed all day," he almost growled.
"I can and I will."
"No," Dean said as he walked over and pulled the covers off Sam.
"Fuck you!" Sam cried with tears in his eyes. "It's like the world's gone grey. The sun set and nothing."
Track Six - What I've Done
"Cass, can you erase it? Make it go away?" Dean asked the angel gently.
Castiel tilted his head to the side. "I don't know what you mean," he articulated placidly.
A tear slipped from each of Dean's eyes as he rolled them in annoyance and took a shallow breath. "Can you make me forget what I've done down there?"
"No."
"How 'bout giving me some fucking revelation? Something?" Dean tried again. "Forgive me for it."
"You can only receive revelation from God, He is forgiveness and absolution."
"Right, thanks I'll keep that in mind," Dean said as he stalked off.
Track Seven - Hands Held High
Sam doesn't pray anymore. He wonders. The Angels, the Demons, they all seem to talk a big game, but they're the soldiers out there running and fighting, exorcising and laying to rest, evading the angels, the demons, the ignorant zealots.
It makes it all so hard to watch Castiel pray, a blind faith in an absent God.
Again, he wonders when a bold man will stand up and take action; while he sits in a house of God, damning the world he accepts his fate. He is that man. Ironically, it feels like praying and deliverance as he whispers, "Amen."
Track Eight - No More Sorrow
"Listen to me Sammy, I've paid for your shit. Your mistakes, your lies. Forty long years in Hell," Dean shouted at Sam.
"I never asked you to make that deal," he replied darkly.
"I'd do it again in heart beat. What kills me is how you shit all over your second chance."
"I was trying--"
"You can lie to yourself until you're blue in the face. I see how much of a fucking hypocrite you became while I was gone. You will pay for that."
"Because I love you! Damn it, Dean!"
"You have no right… This is you!"
Track Nine - Valentine's Day
"A black wind took them away from sight…" the radio warbled ominously and the brothers looked strangely at each other across the front seat of the Impala. A cool wind blew through the windows that made them look away.
Each brother lost in the moment, in their thoughts about Jessica, about their mother, their father. The smiles, the slaps on the back, the kisses, the blood, the hugs, the fire, the guilt, the love.
Unhappiness settled in the air with the memories, as each brother tried to remember their path. To remember their reasons for being alone on Valentine's Day.
Track Ten - In Between
Dean felt and acted. He was always stuck in between, fluid and achingly transparent. He lived and breathed in that place between his pride and what he wanted to say. Between pleasing his father and what he wanted. Between what is right for Sam and what Sam wants. Between the Angels and the Demons. Between his mother's memory and his father's vengeance. Between Sam and their father. Between Heaven and Hell.
He tried explaining to Sam, but Sam lived there too. Between his lies and his half-truths and his guilt, regret. Together they lived there trying to be someone else.
Track Eleven - In Pieces
They're alone in the Impala, like always, the void between them growing stonier filling with broken pieces of themselves. Sam sighed deeply, "I'm here, if and when you wanna talk about it."
Dean's grip on the steering wheel tightened, his eyes narrowing and never leaving the road. "Talk about what?" he mumbled.
"Whatever… whenever you're ready."
Dean pressed the toe of his boot against the gas pedal harder, the low rumble of the engine covering any sounds of distress he may have made.
"You don't have to do it all alone," Sam whispered miserably, maybe Dean heard. Maybe he didn't.
Track Twelve - The Little Things Give You Away
"Do I mean anything to you?" Sam asked Dean nervously.
Dean's eyes hardened, "Really, you have to ask after everything we've been through…"
Sam slouched in his chair, "Yeah, well I live with you and there's no little things that give you away. "
A crooked smile graced Dean's lips as he put a bag on the table. "Well, I must be doing something right, eh there blind man?"
"Jerk."
"Yeah, well you're my bitch. Now, get over here, I got you your gummy worms."
Sam glared at Dean wondering when the levee would break, when everything would wash away.
Track Fourteen - No Roads Left
The riot begins; Dean refers to it as Apocalypse Now. Because, obviously. Sam likens it to the awakening of the world.
Both brothers are armed to the hilt as they run into the fray from opposite ends. They kill and smite everything that gets in their way as they search one another out.
They find each other and begin a dance as old as time as they circle around one another.
"Lucifer."
"Michael."
It ends in the middle of a dusty road; daggers twisted into each other's hearts as they both go down, no roads left to run, not one.
A/N 3: Tell me what you think. This was an exercise for me to try and show deep emotions. Something I will admit I struggle with in my writing.
A/N 4: If any of you are here because of an Author Alert, I really do thank you and know that I am working on my other stories too. Updates are coming soon. I promise. RL just sucks sometimes.