Again, huge thank you for those reviews! They make my day :) If you have suggestions etc please let me know. Keep the reviews coming, I love them all so much.

I know there have been some frustrated reviews, because my chapters are short/the story is dragging. I am trying to make longer chapters, I just don't have a lot of time in my day and I like to update as soon as I can. Also I am sorry if this isn't exciting or action packed - but it is just the inner workings of Tony's mind and what is happening around him. So a lot of it is him being confused/adjusting to circumstances.

I tried to make this chapter longer and a little more eventful for you.. Please let me know what you think xo

I had placed my hand upon hers, it was cold – I breathed in deeply and asked her to fight and if she couldn't do that, to at least take me with her. The thought of living without her was excruciating and I just couldn't do it. How many people in your life have to die before you have nothing left? And then I thought of Ziva and how her whole family was now dead, and perhaps I wasn't enough for her to want to live? Maybe this was her limit and she simply didn't have any fight left? But I really needed her to live, because as selfish as this sounds, I wanted to live and I couldn't do that if she were to die.

I rested my head on the side of her bed, kissed her hand and reluctantly fell asleep. I had been woken up to a confused looking doctor and nurse who kept calling me "sir"

"Sir, this is not your room!" "Sir, that isn't your bed!" "Sir! you have your own room!" I remember them saying over and over again as if they genuinely believed that I had no idea. Whoa, really? That wasn't my room? You mean I get a bed to myself? And my very own pillow? They really should be more specific when you're checking in "INDIVIDUAL BED AND PILLOW PROVIDED".

I lifted my gaze to the middle aged, unimpressed nurse who had her hands on her hips: "Sir, you need to leave! Where is your room?!" I lifted my weary self out of the chair and completely ignored what she was saying. I walked to the hall and tried to locate my little droplets so I could find the stairs.

"Sir, stop! Please!" I turned around and saw a panicked look on her face

"Doctor!" she cried

I looked at her confused: "DiNozzo!" I replied, "My name is Tony DiNozzo" – funnily enough she wasn't talking to me

The doctor walked over "yes?" the nurse pointed to the blood on Ziva's sheets and floor and then to me.

I recognized the crimson drops and registered just in time that I was in trouble

"I was meant to clean that up" I said trying to sound charming, despite the fact that I was standing there with my backside exposed to the world, looking like an inpatient from the psych ward.

The doctor asked me to sit down and shone her torch in my eyes asking me to look in all different directions. Within moments they had me on my own stretcher wheeling me to the elevator, I could hear them huffing and puffing

"You'll understand when you're older," I mindlessly said to anyone who would have listened

"Sir, please try and stay quiet" the doctor responded

Before I knew it I was back in my shitty room, it was cold in there and it smelt like hospital and I hated it

I remember trying to plead my case:

"I need to be upstairs with the pretty brunette.. I don't need a bed, that chair I was sitting on was just fine" I told her. I started to feel lightheaded at this point.

"Sir, this is your room.. Ms David will be okay… If you keep moving around like this you will bleed out and die" she said sternly. I remember thinking it was a little harsh, not the part about me dying – the fact that she said that this was my room – it didn't feel like my room, it felt like a prison.

After that, the doctor kept asking if I was okay, and kept telling me to keep my eyes open. I remember saying:

"Here's to lookin at you, kid" before vomiting all over myself.

She kept repeating herself, kept telling me to stay awake but I was defeated before giving in and letting my eyelids fall.

When I woke up Ziva was there, sitting upright, bruised but alive…wearing a doctor's lab coat.

"Well hello" she said her brown eyes looking right through me

I had felt so humiliated remembering that I had just vomited all over myself, but I looked down and my sheets were clean.

I then stumbled along a few sounds before settling with the two most stupid words I have ever uttered to someone "You're breathing?" I cringed. I still can't believe I said that.

"Yes, I am now breathing on my own"

I was confused and nervous and embarrassed, I felt like I was in junior high

"I woke up four days ago," she whispered knowingly

"But, I was only just up there?" I responded to her

She looked at me confused and placed her hand on mine

"I am glad you are awake. They would not tell me anything"

We looked at each other in silence, it was dark and she looked like she was in agony. I wanted to ask how much pain she was in, even though I knew it was a lot.

"I am sorry Tony, I have to go…they will start to look for me again"

"Again?" I repeated back to her. She was visibly upset.

"You don't remember do you?" she said slowly standing up. I had called after her, but before I could say anything she was gone.

She wasn't kidding anyone in that lab coat.