"Everything will be okay," I almost heard my mother whispering, "Close your eyes, Tsukiko, everything will be okay."

The voice didn't sound like my mother however, but I closed my eyes anyway. I felt a cold hand pat my cheek, and I struggled to stay awake.

"Don't close your eyes."

Ryuzaki sounded so hollow and so far away that I began to cry. We finally stopped at the hospital and Ryuzaki and Light leapt out of the car, following me to the hospital doors. The doctors calmly attended to my needs and started to prepare an IV. I was taking a few nursing courses at school, so when I saw they were putting steroids in, I began to cry again.

"Sugar, don't cry," A nurse whispered, "Don't cry now. You'll get better."

"Yes, but I'm not going home tonight, am I?"

The nurse looked at the bag that hung over my bed and sighed.

"I'm afraid not. You need to be in ICU, now."

I wanted to cry again, but crying merely aggravated my attack. I held it in as Ryuzaki stared out the window morosely and Light hovered over me. I saw Ryuk staring out the window and Malak was watching him menacingly. The bars went up next to my bed and the nurses wheeled me into the elevator. Light followed until the nurses told him he couldn't visit me until tomorrow.

"Promise me she's going to be alright?!"

"She will be fine sir, for now you have to go home."

Light screamed just as the elevator shut, and I started to laugh slightly.

"Is that your boyfriend?" A nurse asked.

"No, he's a close friend. He can be really mean sometimes, but he usually means well."

"That other friend of yours, the one with the dark hair, is awfully cute." One nurse chuckled.

I wanted to laugh, but I found that I was unable to. The nurses wheeled me into a dark room to which the flipped on the light. The walls were a dull cream color and the tile was a bleach white. Menacing looking technology waited for me on the walls and ceiling. The nurses hooked me up with an EKG and a breathing mask, flipping off the light and saying goodnight. The only good part about being in ICU was the view it gave me. I sighed at the beauty of the lights at night, the rushing of cars going by, the people chatting their lives away, the pulse of life. My peace was broken when I saw Malak walk in.

"Malak!" I whispered cheerfully.

I was so happy to see him. I needed a friend to talk to, although if the nurses caught me, they might think I'm hallucinating and give me more drugs. Then again, I could just say it's a side-effect. Malak seated himself next to me. I smiled at him, and stared for a while at his face. His purple hair was now messier than ever, his lips appeared sewn shut, but smiled ever so slightly, and his eyes were a beautiful shade of blue. He seemed to be happy today.

"I brought this for you." He whispered and handed me my death note.

I clutched to it wildly, almost afraid it would strip me of Malak's presence if I let it go.

"Malak, can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"Why do you hate Ryuk so much? Did something happen between you two?"

His eyes changed to a deep red, and I could see I was making him angry. He answered my question anyway.

"Ryuk is scum, as you humans would put it. He killed a human I had been watching for some time, a human I planned on giving my death note to. He did it on purpose, I am sure of it."

Somehow, I felt there wasn't enough to this story, but I left it at that until Ryuk appeared through the window. He shooed Malak away and sat in the chair.

"What are you doing here?" Malak and I asked at the same time.

"Light just wanted to be sure you are safe."

I nodded, and my gaze averted to Malak.

"Malak, go downstairs and tell Light I am doing well, please."

He nodded and reluctantly disappeared. Ryuk munched on an apple, and the oxygen running through my nose irritated me.

"Ryuk, why does Malak hate you?"

"Because I killed a human he was watching." He replied.

He must have known I was searching for a deeper answer, because he chuckled.

"Malak isn't all what you think he is. He barely qualifies as a Shinigami."

"How so?" My curiosity was growing like a tidal wave.

Eventually it would crash down on me and take me away.

"He falls in love with humans too easily. He gives up his death note for a beautiful female human, then she dies, he gets upset, then finds another, and the cycle continues. He calls them his 'mistress' and does anything to keep them safe."

"Is that why you killed the woman he was watching?"

"I killed her to hopefully send a lesson to Malak. Obviously it didn't get through his thick skull."

I wanted to cry and beat Ryuk at the same time, both of which were impossible at the moment.

"Malak loves you Tsukiko. He cares too much for humans and will die for you if he needs to. You are the first human to make him feel….human."

I made a Shinigami feel human? Malak loved me? Me?!

That was impossible. I would have to ask him for myself.

What's even more impossible is that I believe I have developed feelings for him too, the way a child develops feelings for her guardian. Malak was my guardian, but I didn't want him to die because of me, or for me for that matter.

I loved Malak, but not the way he loved me.