"For fuck sake, why won't he just wake up already?"
"Sean, calm down, at least he's still breathing-"
"Well we'll have to take him to the hospital at this rate! And you know we can't go there! "
"Plus the fact that by the time he wakes up he'd want to hunt everybody in the building"
"This is all your fault Jack! You should've just told me straight away without any of those bullshit deals with Blaine!"
"Well to me he sounded fi-"
"Shh! He's waking up!"
Bright light divided into sections of shadows filled my vision as I blinked awake. Again, I hadn't remembered passing out, but my throat was on fire and the tips of my fingers and toes were numb. I felt myself laying on something soft, splayed out along a velvety surface and the recognised it to be the sofa in our living room.
"Blaine...can you hear me?" I heard Ricky's voice. He sounded sort of...worried?
I blinked harder, trying to bring my vision to focus, but to no avail. I patted my hand along the edge of the sofa until it collided with something hard, which seemed to be Sean's stomach.
"Dude, wake up"
"I am awake" I croaked. I rubbed my fists into my eyes and felt my head spin, and suddenly my ribcage ached with such a force I thought it might sink or shatter inside my body. I wailed in pain, holding my chest as a reassuring hand met my shoulder.
"You're gonna be okay, buddy"
Was that Jack's voice? I didn't want to hear Jack's voice. I wanted to hear Kurt's. Kurt's angelic voice...Kurt...
"Where's Kurt?" My hands shot out frantically but it seemed as though whatever direction they headed in they met something restricting. They were surrounding me like a pack of hyenas ready to attack.
A heavy collective sigh was heard. "You can't see Kurt, Blaine" Miko said quietly, as if saying it any louder would cause me to become angrier and more agitated than I already was.
"What do you mean I can't see Ku-FUCK!" I bent myself backwards, my chest was pulsating with sharp dabs of various pain. I howled, my voice echoing the room and Ricky bought a washcloth to my forehead to wipe away the sweat that formed there.
My vision returned all at once in my left eye and I managed to decipher the shapes of the rest of the demons surrounding me. They all looked so vexed and I didn't know whether I wanted to know why.
"He can't see you like this Blaine, it won't do either of you any good"
"It would do me good! I need him!"
"You'd kill him" Miko argued back strongly.
"I would never," I tried to push myself up from lying down, wobbling when I pushed at Miko's chest. "How dare you even suggest such a th-"
"Blaine!" Ricky interrupted me.
He held his hands out to me threateningly, and Jack's hands were on Miko's shoulders, trying to pull him away from me. That's when I realised that I had bought my shabby pocket knife to Miko's throat without even realising I had done it.
"What the-"
I was prised away then, and they sat me in the very corner of the room against the cold white wall.
"You're going to be going through some changes...okay? Listen! You need to focus Blaine or there was no point in you beginning this damn training in the first place."
I was seeing double, the two figures before me became four in my hazed view. Sean was checking Miko over in the background whilst Jack and Ricky stood over me, staring down at me whilst I squinted up at them.
"Kurt pushed me away" I sagged, remembering. "He pushed me and told me he hated me" I felt my bottom lip turn out in a pout and tears sprang to my eyes.
"That wasn't Kurt. It was a very homophobic man who later returned with several burly men and baseball bats to finish you off after you threatened him with a gun! If we hadn't turned up, god knows what would've happened to you"
I grimaced, trying to remember and make sense of the previous events I was being informed of.
"A gun?" I frowned.
"Yes. A gun"
"But where would I have gotten that from?"
"We were hoping you could tell us" Ricky raised an eyebrow.
"I can't even remember what I had for breakfast let along where I got a gun from" I slurred, waving my arms like a drunk and sighing as I felt one side of my face drop with numbness.
"Rick- he doesn't look so good"
"Has his face sagged?" Sean asks, bewildered. "Is he having a stroke?! Like on those adverts, when they tell you to look out for slurred speech and that? Oh god, Blainers!"
"He's fine, Sean, calm down" Jack approaches then, and lifts me into his arms, carrying me to the den in the back yard.
"Over there" Miko gestures to the loveseat that Kurt and I often share, and as he places me down onto it, I let myself inhale the comforting scent of Kurt that is almost permanently embedded into the fabric on the left side of the chair.
The side of my face was still numb but my eyes were beginning to slide closed again.
"He'll be fine, I'll just knock him out" Jack was saying, but his voice drifted in and out of my ears, along with an annoying ringing sound.
Before I knew it, Jack was reaching out with two fingers and pressing them to a pressure point in my neck, and I fell completely out of consciousness.
XOXO
There was something those damn demon boys weren't telling me.
I was sitting outside Blaine and Ricky's house in my car when it happened. The front door swung open, crashing back on its hinges and one boy stormed out, followed by another. Ricky pushed Blaine's previously mentioned cousin, Jack, back and held him up against the wall. He seemed threatening though I had no idea what Jack could've done for Ricky to be so aggressive towards him.
Jack just took it, though, and let Ricky shove him up against the house. Ricky spoke to him in eerie hushed tones, which only turned louder when Jack tried to protest about something and Ricky shouted over him.
I only heard short mismatched phrases, but it was enough to know that they had Blaine inside that house.
"...supposed to be his guardian!"
"So are you! Ricky, don't make it out like it's my fault when..."
"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO KNEW AND DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY..."
"Look, let's just go back inside..."
"...If Blaine is awake when we get back in then..."
XOXO
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. This could go very wrong-but Sean had lied to me and told me they hadn't heard anything as of yet about Blaine's whereabouts or his condition when I texted him after Glee Club and asked him. I had to do this, I had to have courage.
Nobody answered the door, so I knocked louder, and more frequently until scuffling was heard and Miko answered the door. When I tried to barge past him he stuck his arm out, and I was amazed at his strength and force considering he was the least muscled or built in the group.
"Let me through. I know he's here"
"He isn't" Miko replied, his face a mask of seriousness. "Go home, Kurt."
"Why can't I see him? He's my boyfriend! I deserve to know what's going on-"
Ricky appeared, then, and he looked fuming, his eyes were ablaze with hatred. "Leave, now" he ordered, shoving Miko to the side, and I heard Sean's voice in the distance. "If you do not leave, I will have to force you to leave, and I do not wish to hurt you, Kurt." He spoke in a clipped voice, and at any other time I would've found the intense look on his face terrifying, but I knew that this wasn't Ricky.
"Ricky, please, just tell me what's happening-I know nothing! Please!"
He looked just about ready to pounce when Sean appeared from nowhere, dragged him backwards from the door and shut it behind him, leaving us two alone on the outside of the house. The door handle rattled in Sean's iron grip from the inside, but Ricky couldn't force it open and the rattling stopped.
"You lied to me" I accused, my eyes welled up with the stress of being unaware of anything that was happening, but I held my head high.
"I couldn't say," he shrugged, but his eyes were saddened.
"Just...tell me-is he safe?" My voice cracked and I let myself rock back onto my heels.
"He's...safe. But he's not...himself" Sean struggled for words, and I just wished that I could read minds just this once, just to find out the truth.
"Then why can't I see him? He just left! I haven't heard from him, you haven't told me anything, you lied to me, at least tell me something."
"He's...His withdrawl symptoms have kicked in, shall we say"
Realisation hit me suddenly, of course. Blaine had told me about his cousin Jack's withdrawl symptoms before when he tried to wean himself off of human souls, he tried to conquer the demon side of him and train his human half to become more dominant, which was precisely what Blaine was trying to do. I gasped when I remembered the specifics that Blaine had told me, about the pile of dead bodies that Jack had bought home.
"I...can I see him?"
"As Ricky said- It's too dangerous...He is asking for you though" Sean smiles slightly, scuffing his feet on the ground but frowning as soon as he looked up. Another car was pulling into the driveway, and I recognised it as Miko's girlfriend's car, Louise.
Sean backed into the door as she approached, calling for Miko through the wood he was leaning back against.
Louise looked confused when she arrived in front of us. "What's going on?"
I hung my head, unable to look at her, I felt awful for feeling ashamed of Blaine, but he didn't even talk to me, didn't ask for my help or even tell me he was leaving that day, I just felt so drained not being able to just touch him and know that he was okay.
"Blaine-" Sean starts, and shakes his head. "You can't go in, I'm sorry Louise"
"But-"
"I can't, I'm sorry. I'll send Miko out to you in a bit."
I glanced at Louise's confused face and felt my stomach twist with the similar feeling of being in the dark about Blaine's condition, I still didn't know many details. I trudged back to my car, knowing that there was no way I could get past a whole group of demons alone. I refused to cry, feeling the tears well up, I knew what I was getting myself into when I first even interacted with Blaine, so why was I upset now that the full extent of his existence had begun to overtake?
I backed out of the driveway, giving Sean a wave and drove home biting my lip and not allowing my sobs to escape.
XOXO
10 days later...
Alaska was too quiet. The tranquillity of the snowy mountains was so calming it almost felt as though I wasn't in the real world the majority of the time. Ricky had made the final decision to move us away from Ohio for 12 days. This is where my training kicked in.
The pains had stopped as soon as the training course began, Jack trained alongside me in the harshest weather and I felt bad for having him leave Annie for so long just to attend to me. I missed Kurt so badly that it physically hurt me most days, all contact with the 'outside world' was forbidden, Ricky said. My heart ached when I thought for too long about how far apart we were, but we both knew it was for the best, even if I was still wracked with guilt from the day everything went so wrong.
We still hadn't spoken since I'd left school that day, staggering mindlessly out to my car after a confrontation with Quinn Fabray. Oh god. Quinn Fabray. That was a whole other story. Since we were so far away, I was helpless, I'd told the boys about the situation and they'd told me not to worry, that they were keeping tabs on the situation from a source back home. I didn't ask any more questions because I knew they wouldn't be answered.
"Blaine! Focus!" Sean threw a stick at my head, which I dodged. "You're supposed to be running, not crawling" he rolled his eyes and slowed to my pace where I stopped in my tracks. I leant forward with my hands on my knees, bent over trying to catch my breath.
We'd been running for an hour and twenty three minutes since we set off from the cabin in the early hours of the morning. Sean had been relentless and practically violent at forcing me up and out of the door.
"I'm sorry, I just...can't focus" I shook my head.
"It's Kurt, isn't it?" he asked, sounding resigned.
I sighed and nodded, unable to speak in fear of my voice cracking at the rising emotion in my throat.
"Look, Blaine I know it's hard, but we're back in three days. You know i've been texting him and updating him on your condition, and you're doing so well! Your training is almost complete. Everything's gonna go back to better than normal real soon, man" he grinned, slapping me on the back to which I sagged at.
"And besides, your big fight is tomorrow night" he raised his eyebrows and jogged on excitedly as I followed, dreading the reminder of my final fight with Ricky tomorrow at noon.
It was the closure of my course. The final fight with my 'master', and since Ricky had been my main trainer, it was going to be a bloody fight between the two of us, and I wasn't to hold back at any costs, I'd been warned.
When we'd rounded the forest and ended up back at the cabin I was slammed straight into by Jack. He was holding punching pads, and I groaned at the fact that this obviously meant that it was 7.00am and therefore, this meant boxing with Jack. I'd been on a very tight schedule lately.
"What are you groaning at?! Come on!" He punched me in the side and I trudged after him into the gym. I still wasn't sure how the guys had got possession of this cabin, but it was beautiful. All stained wood and high ceilings, large rooms and a huge room in the back which was currently used as a gym, which had a big space for combat mats and punch-bags.
I caught the gloves and strapped them on when Jack threw them to me.
"Sooo" Jack started with a smirk, and I automatically knew that this would turn into some kind of sex talk. I rolled my eyes.
"What?" I tried my hardest not to smile, punching alternatively at the pads he held up to his chest.
"So...?" He left the question hanging. "Right hook" he demanded and I jabbed it.
"Just spit it out, Jack" I smirked again, already feeling sweaty from the morning run, even more so as I started punching harder, getting back into the routine formation.
"So how far have you and Kurtie-boy gone then?" He waggled his eyebrows and I threw a punch at the pad near his face, grinning when it caught him off guard and he wobbled slightly before glaring back and setting his feet straight again.
"I knew it! You were just dying to ask it weren't you? I bet you've been holding that in all week" I laughed, conforming to Jack's silent motions and instructions to swivel my body around to the side and continue in a different position.
"No!" He paused. "I've wanted to know for longer than a week actually" he flushed, embarrassed.
"You're such a creep!" I cried, jabbing him in the stomach, not too hard though as we both came out laughing.
"I'm just concerned about you! You are being safe, right Blainers?"
I blushed, shying away. "Yes... you don't have to worry about that."
Jack thrust the pads towards me again and began circling me as my fists followed his movements. Eventually, he pulled the punch-pads off his hands, shaking them momentarily before clapping once. "Right, let's do some sparring." I nodded and he went to retrieve the blue gloves from the other side of the gym.
He let me to the rink and held up the barrier for me to duck under, and we slid easily back into the rhythm of boxing. "No but seriously, I'm here if you need any advice or anything. I've been there, remember?" he said solemnly, touching his fists to mine as we began to fight.
I nodded, remembering back to the time when things were so fresh and new with Jack and Annie after his recent training, I always remember returning home one day and finding Jack crying his eyes out into my brother's arms because of how very close he'd been to hurting her and how much it pained him to do so.
"I know," I hissed at a sharp punch to my ribs and returned an equally painful kick to his leg. "Thanks man"
He nodded, wincing at the same time from the force of the punch. We stopped talking for a while, getting into the swing of things, I found, as always, my mind drifting to Kurt and a montage of beautiful memories began to play in my mind. That is, until I realised that I was bleeding.
"Ow! Shit, Jack! What did you do?!"
I cradled my jaw which was throbbing, blood dripping in brilliant red over my fingers and onto the floor.
"Uhhh...sorry" he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. I sighed.
"Let me get some ice" I said, wandering down the corridor into the kitchen, trying not to think about how much worse the injuries could be with my fight with Ricky the following night.
XOXO
"Kurt! Can I talk to you for a minute?"
I turned slowly at the sound of Quinn's voice, she hardly spoke to me anymore, only occasionally in Glee club, and there wasn't any other reason for her to be talking to me apart from if there was any club drama- which there wasn't currently. So why was she talking to me?
"Yeah, what's up?"
"I- erm, could we go somewhere more private?" she looked slightly worried, which made my stomach tense and my mind instantly flew to Blaine for reasons unknown to me. I guess it was just a habit now, that whenever things went wrong, it was either Blaine who was the cause of it, or Blaine who would comfort me. I sighed. I miss him so much.
We ended up deciding on taking a walk along the sidelines of the running tracks in relative silence, until I gave in and asked her why she'd confronted me in the first place.
"It's...I just wondered something" she said slowly.
"Yes..?" I stopped, turning towards her. "Come on Quinn, you can tell me anything. Glee club is like family, remember?"
"Of course-I just..." she stopped too, meeting my eyes for the first time and something in my gut told me that I didn't like what I saw there. "It's about Blaine."
XOXO
I could hardly believe my eyes when Sean came over the snow-covered hill dragging a full moose body over his shoulder, grinning widely.
"Woah, that thing is huge!" Ricky sprinted over to examine the beast.
Sean had set off to hunt at about the same time that Miko had set off to fish about three hours ago, and I had no idea how he managed to kill that thing all by himself, let alone carry it all the way back to the cabin in the awful weather conditions.
"It's gonna be a feast tonight!" He grinned, setting it down on the ground in front of the porch, and then turning to the sound of Miko cheering as he came over the hill with another enormous bag of fish. I ran over to help him heave it to the same location as the dead moose, and we all stood around staring at the game, wide-eyed.
"There's no way we'll be able to eat all of this" Jack shook his head, hands on his hips.
Sean scoffed, "Speak for yourself, I dunno about you Mike but I'm exhausted after that hunt."
"How did you even catch that thing?" He exclaimed in return, stroking his hands down the matted fur of the giant great animal, I marvelled at the curved antlers, tapping my knuckles against them.
"Moose calling, it's a more modern way of hunting. I was reading up about it online just as we decided to come here, apparently, Moose hunting is a fall ritual for tens and thousands of Alaskans every year." he stated, seemingly coming alight with excitement as he rattled off hunting facts.
Ricky nodded after a while. "Interesting. Well, I'm sure we can cook it somehow, and we have a spit-roast for the fish. We all need to stock up and build our energy for tomorrow..." he trailed off, his pensive eyes meeting mine as I stared surely back.
The rest of the guys stood in silence, before departing to their separate posts, none of us speaking about the fight that Ricky was referring to, as the tension built in the atmosphere of falling snow.
XOXO
"What do you mean?" I ran a hand over my face.
"I-Do you ever notice Blaine acting...strangely? Like..he's not...himself?"
Realisation dawned on me, but I dared not let it show on my face. "Not particularly, why?"
"I just...the other night I saw him, it was so late and he was-like, hiding in the shadows, and he-" she choked slightly on her own words, bringing a hand to her mouth and my heart dropped, panic rising in my throat.
"Look, Quinn, I don't know what you saw but I'm sure it was nothing. Blaine is having a very stressful time lately and-"
"No you don't understand! I know what I saw, Kurt, he's like a different person and he's...violent, and his eyes- Oh god, his eyes-"
"That's enough! There's nothing wrong with him. Just drop it, okay? He has some...problems, anger issues, which he's trying to resolve, he doesn't need people like you butting in on his life and trying to make things harder for him!" I said confidently, though I felt the opposite.
Inside, my world was crashing. What if Quinn eventually connected the dots? What if she was a bigger risk to Blaine's existence than he knew? Most importantly, why hadn't Blaine mentioned the dark late night that Quinn had told me about?
I hated lying to Quinn but it was the only thing that could keep Blaine's secret safe. I ignored her protests once more and dismissed her accusations, turning back the way we came and trudging towards the school trying to ignore how rapidly my heart was beating.
XOXO
The next day began later than usual, Sean had forgone our routine run because I wasn't allowed any form of training whatsoever before the fight with my master, even be it as small and insignificant as running. The duel was to take place around the back of the cabin, just in case there were any passers-by (which was ridiculous, we were in the middle of nowhere) but you never know.
Ricky and I had had a private, emotional conversation the night before during the feast, so I knew where I stood with him. We both understood the relevance of the battle, and how neither of us wanted to hurt each other, but it had to be done. At different points in the fight I was to be introduced with different obstacles, which were to test my control of my power and aggression and how quickly and easily I could fall out of attacking somebody if I needed to instead of beating them to death.
The most difficult part was the voice in my head telling me that I was no match, constantly contrasting with everything around me and controlling me, telling me to keep punching or tearing. I knew this would be difficult. My brain was already in conflict. You'll lose.
"Hey Blaine?" Miko stuck his head around the door from where I was sitting cross-legged on the floor in the centre of my temporary room for no reason at all. "Could you come downstairs for a moment?"
I nodded confusedly, standing and following Miko to the living room where everybody was gathered.
"What's going on?" I asked, standing on the outskirts of the loose circle.
"We've made a decision on something." Jack says, glancing to Ricky who keeps his gaze fixed on me. "We all know how tough things have been for you this past week and a half, and we're worried that you may have lost your drive from being away from Kurt for so long. You need a purpose if you are going to succeed in this fight, Blaine"
I raised my eyebrows, trying to calculate everything that they were trying to tell me all at once. "So what does this mean?"
Ricky cast a fleeting look around the room before retrieving a phone from his pocket. "Call him"
I nearly fell to my knees with the sheer force of my heart thumping radically in my chest. I remained wide-eyed, stumbling backwards until my back met Sean's steady hand which held me up straight. I shook my head, unbelieving. "Are you serious? I-I can-"
"Yes" Jack smiled, "Yes, Blaine, you can talk to Kurt"
I let out a shaky sigh and took the phone from Ricky thankfully, not understanding why this had such an emotional effect on me. It was just like Kurt was a part of me now; and that part was missing, soon to be re-united. I let out a slightly watery laugh and soothed my shaking palms against the rough material of my jeans.
"Let's give him some space, guys" Jack says, ushering Sean and Miko out of the room, but Ricky hovered in the doorway.
"Blaine, you know how important it is for you to uphold your emotions, okay? Keep that in mind, please. I don't want to injure you more than I have to." I nodded solemnly at my brother, hoping my face portrayed my thanks and respect.
I unlocked the phone and dialled Kurt's number immediately.
Ring Ring.
"Oh please pick up, Kurt, please" I sobbed into my arm, not knowing what I would do if he didn't answer the one phone call I was allowed.
Ring Ring.
...
"Hello?" an irritated voice answered.
A sob wracked my chest at the mere sound of his voice, and I buried my face in a hand. "Hi baby,"
"Blaine?" he gasped, sounding ecstatic. "Oh my god, Oh my- is that you?"
"Yeah, it's me" I smiled despite myself. "God I missed your voice"
A sniffle sounded through the receiver and I knew he was crying. "I missed you, so much Blaine, you don't even-"
"I do, babe, I do" I laughed, not even caring that it came out high-pitched and sniffly.
"I-I'm sorry, about how I answered the- It's just Finn is being the biggest pain in the ass right now and I-oh god, I'd never have expected it to be you on the other side of the phone"
I laughed again, falling back onto the sofa, delighted to be reunited with the sweet sound of my boyfriend's voice, just the small sighs and sniffles, deep breaths, that could be heard made me feel as though I had been ignited with fire. I felt alive again.
"I-how's Alaska?" he asks after a short period of peaceful silence.
"It's beautiful, Kurt, you should be here. I mean-not be here but, I- you know, obviously you can't be but-"
"Blaine-" He laughs again, in high peals of happiness. "Baby, don't worry, I know."
I sighed, closing my eyes. "I'll take you here someday" I vowed to him. "We can erase all the bad memories and replace them with better ones"
"What do you mean bad memories? Are they treating you badly there Blaine?"
I smiled at the worried tone of my boyfriend, stretching my arms behind my head, pressing the phone as close to my ear as possible and closing my eyes to try and imagine that Kurt was here with me.
"No, baby, they're fine. The training is hard but I'm pulling through," I sighed, wondering whether I should mention the final fight that was to take place in a couple of hours. "It's my last big duel today, and then I can return home to you"
I tried to downplay the fight, knowing that he would be concerned, but Kurt was silent on the end of the phone, ever the interpreter, and eventually replied in a soft voice. "I know that you'll be amazing Blaine. Think of everything that you've worked for, you can do this. I'm proud of you."
And that was it. That was all it took for the dams inside of me to burst open and tears began flowing freely down my cheeks, no matter how hard I tried to scrub them away with my sleeve, I sobbed into the phone, my heart growing bigger in my chest at the tangible pride I could feel Kurt sending to me.
He knew exactly what I needed to hear.
I heard a door open on the other side of the room and saw Jack holding Rick away with a single palm on his chest. I tried to compose myself, knowing that it was unwise for me to be so emotional before the fight, even though I felt so ignited and alive in that moment. I nodded to Ricky as I wiped the last of my tears away.
"Kurt, I-baby, I have to go-" I winced at the sheer pain-filled whine that Kurt released on the other side, my heart gripped painfully in my chest. "I know, Kurt, I don't want to but you've made me so much stronger baby. I can do this, okay? I'll do it for us. And when we are together again I will kiss you until your knees weaken and I'll carry you across the threshold and all of that crap, I'll make up with your brother, I'll re-meet your family, I'll do anything for you. Do you understand, baby? I'll-"
"Blaine-" he cried, and I imagined him curled up at home clutching his pillow and wishing it was me like he always told me he did when we texted each other at night. "Don't leave me, Blaine,"
"Never, darling, I'd never." I rambled, knowing that soon Ricky would intervene and Kurt would be taken away from me again. "I'll win this fight for you, and I'll come home, and I'll...I'll..."
"Blaine-" Jack starts, making a motion for me to get off the phone soon.
"Okay, Blaine, I'll see you soon. I know you'll win. Think of everything we could have together."
I grinned at the thought, closing my eyes and picturing a brief but perfect world. I was hit with a sudden emotion, and I knew it was time. It had been clawing away at me for so long, I just had to.
Tell him you love him, Blaine.
"Kurt...?"
"Yes?"
"I...I mean, I-I really...I-"
"Blaine?"
I sighed. "Yes?"
"I know." he paused. "Me, too."
I sniffed again, wiping my eyes for the last time. "Okay"
It was silent again, and then... "Okay"
And the call finally disconnected. I stood.
Ricky faced me with sudden authority, sensing a shift in the atmosphere. I walked to him, puffing out my chest and mastering the deepest growl I had ever made. "Let's do this."
XOXO
A/N: Thanks for reading. Sorry for slow update. Please review and tell me if there's anything you'd like to see from this fic, or from any characters in particular apart from quicker updates.
Thanks, Ell x