Hey guys! Thanks to all those who favorited, followed, and reviewed! I know each chapter is short so far, but trust me when I say that they will get longer! Plus, I might not post right away because I have exams this week (please kill me now). Also, be sure to read the note at the end, because it is UBER IMPORTANTE! Enjoy!

We headed to our first class, chatting about random stuff on the way. At some point I must have zoned out because my mind began to wander. While James continued talking, I began to notice the way James every so often flicked his long, dirty blond hair out of his eyes, the way his gold-flecked brown eyes sparkled with laughter whenever he heard a joke, the way…

I stopped myself. What was going on? I had never noticed anything like that about James. Maybe I was still messed up from the punch to my head last night. We walked into class and took our seats. James, as usual, in the back, a few girls surrounding him. I sat on his right, vaguely listening to the always boring Mr. Rocque. I turned in my chair, listening to what James was talking about.

My mind instantly wandered about him. What if we were more than friends, what if we… What the hell? What was wrong with me? I didn't like James. I liked girls. Then why was I thinking about him in a way that girls think of guys they like?

He continued to talk to her. Laughing at whispered comments, her eyes staring at him like he was the object of her dreams. But why did I care? I didn't like James like that. He was my best friend. I've known him for years. So why did I suddenly start noticing all of these things about him that I loved?

I continued through the day, my mind in a haze that contained only James. The way he looked, acted, talked…everything. I turned a corner in the hallway, and saw something that made me want to puke.

Their lips moved in tandem, their bodies wrapped around each other. He was running his hand through her auburn hair like it was fine sand. She had her hands around his neck, like he was her lifeline to the world. And I watched, jealousy, rage, betrayal coursing through my veins. I knew at that moment that I loved him. I turned, hot tears starting to fall from my sky blue eyes, almost frozen from the cool sadness in them. You will never have him. He doesn't love you. You're alone. The voices in my head were saying. I ran, trying to lose myself, the voices, James and Lily, but that would never happen.

I sat on my bed, the journal's pages filling up with emotions, words, tears, drops of blood. My body kept shaking from the sobs that wracked my frame. The pocketknife sat next to me, the open blade crimson, slowly drying. My wrist held wounds, just like my heart, freshly made. I didn't care. The physical pain would never take away what I saw. It will always be kept in my mind, and my journal. I will never forget.

Alright, so I have a few questions, and comments for you all! Questions: Do you think Kendall will ever get James? What will happen in the next chapter? Any suggestions on improving the story so far? Review or send me a message, cause I am open to anything you have to say or ask about me! ALSO, I am currently working on another series, but I need some help: should I do an alphabet series with each chapter being its own separate little story, or a continuing story with the letters, like each letter moves it along? Let me know! Love you all!

-Kevin