Hey everyone! I am so so so sorry for not updating sooner! I've been busy with school, work, summer homework (I know, right? Some people just want to watch the world burn...) and family stuff. But I am back and I will be updating a lot quicker now! So a few things before the chapter: I know that these chapters are really short, but trust me when I say that they will be getting longer. Most of them I already had typed out already. Also, if you notice grammar mistakes or things that really don't make sense, message me please! It will make the story a lot better for everyone else. Lastly, I think the story will be changed to M, just cause of the future chapters and what I have planned for everything. AAAAAAANNNNNDDDDD... THERE IS KAMES! It's kinda small, but it's there! R&R please and thanks! Now... Chapter 4: Timing!

James spent the night. He said he would walk me to school the next day. I appreciated his company. Sleep quickly caught up to me, and I gratefully fell into its welcoming embrace, knowing I would be safe for the night.

A few curious glances came our way as I walked into school side by side with James. I ignored them. Let them be with their own thoughts. They couldn't figure out that their minds could deceive themselves.

The morning passed by in a blur. Suddenly I was sitting down in the cafeteria next to James and Lily, along with some of our other friends. They were chatting about a party that Lily was going to have since her parents would be out of town. Unexpectedly, Lily turned to me and asked, "Do you want to come too, Kendall?" I hesitantly replied, "Sure."

"James probably made her let you come," the voices said, "He knows you would be all alone anyways." The thought that now came along with them showed itself again, stronger than last time. It scared me.

Friday night came quicker than I thought and I found myself at Lily's front door. The door opened and Lily said with a slightly drunken smile, "Come on in!" I walked in and was immediately blasted with a wall of sound. Loudspeakers blared party music and teens were dancing, chatting, shouting, and singing on a makeshift dance floor.

It was obvious someone snuck some beer into the party because a glass was shoved in my hand and one sniff gave away what was in it. I set the glass down and went to find people I knew. I recognized some people and said "Hey" to the drunken teens that kept bumping into me. Then I saw the dirty blonde hair that could only belong to one person. James.

I ran up to him, grabbed his arm, and spun him around. "What's up, James?" I shouted above the noise going on around me. "Yeah?" he replied with glazed over eyes and a somewhat drunken, cocky smile on his face. I decided to get him away from the noise so I could talk to him. I half walked, half carried him upstairs to the guest bedroom. I sat him down on the bed, turned to close the door, and suddenly... his lips were crashed against mine.

My mind buzzed like a thousand bees in a hive. But I was suddenly pulled back to reality when his lips started moving against mine. They tasted like cinnamon and peaches, … but not beer. I could smell his Cuda spray, and feel his tongue pressing its way into my mouth. Just as quickly as it happened, James pulled away. He wouldn't remember the next day, he was too buzzed to even know where we were. But I wouldn't, I couldn't forget. I took him back downstairs and left the party. I had gotten what I dreamed of and there was no reason for me to stay.

I was lying on my bed, the memory playing over and over in my head and on the journal page in front of me. I didn't care if he was drunk. It mattered. It happened. The pocketknife lay unopened on the nightstand. I wasn't going to use it. The kiss I was dreaming about happened. But the voices in my back were whispering. You will get hurt. This is all to hurt you. And in the end, your thought that's been haunting you will come true. The timing just has to be right.

Thanks for reading! What do you think is going to happen in the next chapter? Will James be done with Lily and be with Kendall? Or will something happen that makes Kendall regret everything? Leave a review please! Oh, and before I forget, the italics at the end of each chapter are Kendall writing in his journal. This is key for a later chapter! Thanks again! Comment any ideas you have to make this better, or for future chapters. I'm going to be putting one of you guys in the story! So review!