Mages and Knights
Summery: AU Takuya is the son of a poor farmer and on one day discovers he is an Elemental. Powerful people are out to get him so he travels to a School were he meets a lot of interesting people. And maybe fall in love with one of the strangest. Kouji/Takuya
Warnings: Digimon crossover, Cursing, Yoai, T rating
Chapter name: Dithering Butterfly
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon
Author Notes: Ah, lucky number thirteen. Well, as I look at your reviews (more than 100!), I see something. I see that people say that things are a little slow and there's not a lot of action. Well, let me tell you that that is going to change soon. Hahahahahahahhaha. Anyway, thank you for all your reviews. They are much appreciated.
All the pages were blank.
They were…white.
Not a single spot of black.
No black at all.
…..
"Now what?"
Takuya barely registered Tai's voice; his mind was as blank as those pages, unable to form any kind of thought. His mind just couldn't wrap around the fact that they did all this work for nothing. They had risked getting expelled for this? This had to be some misunderstanding.
Takato reached over flipped again the pages of the book in Takuya's lap as if trying to find where the words hid themselves. But that didn't wield any different results than before. "Juri?" Takato said, his voice getting tight. "Are you sure that your charmed object did its work correctly?"
Juri had been gaping at the book along with everyone else but, at hearing Takato, whipped her head around and fixed Takato with her hardest most demanding glare, crossing her arms. Takato blinked in surprise and the other boys instinctively inched away from her.
"Are you saying that the object I charmed is faulty?" Juri said with an overly sweet smile that made everyone shiver. "Did I hear correctly?"
"I just thought I could cover any possibilities," Takato said, a nervous smile tentatively forming on his face.
"Let me tell you," Juri said, leaning forwards so her face was inches away from Takato's. "I checked twice that it worked on volumes from my reading books are they were perfectly and I mean perfectly copied."
Takato hastily raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, it worked to perfection! I was just asking."
Juri was suddenly all smiles as she reclined back to her original position. It was amazing how fast girls could go from peaceful to spitting fire. It was like a superpower or something.
Takuya decided right then and there that he was going to go out of his way not to piss off Juri. He valued his male parts, thank you very much. "Why are all the pages blank then if Juri's object worked flawlessly?"
Takato sighed, appearing exhausted and looking sideways at Hazu, who seemed to be thinking carefully. "Maybe," Hazu said slowly and thoughtfully, drawing everyone's attention to him. "It could have been that the book you found in Netto's office was just like that-" he pointed to the blank replicated copy in Takuya's hands "-and it was blank all along. Did you actually check that it had words printed on the real one?"
Takuya retraced his memories of thirty minutes ago, passing were the Lone Wolves stopped to ask them why they weren't at dinner. He flushed briefly but pushed that away quickly. It wasn't time for that at this moment. He remembered when he found the knob under the desk, a peculiar spot for the entrance to a hidden compartment. Now that he really thought about it, he only opened the tome to first page, automatically assuming that it had important information because of Destiny's symbol on the first page. Oh, why didn't he check that it did have the information before wasting all their time and failing The Plan?
"No," Takuya said dully. "We only saw the first page. We don't know if it had anything else on the other pages." He closed the book with a resigned snap.
"Well, we could always try again," Daisuke offered, but Tai shook his head.
"The Lone Wolves are already suspicious of us," Tai murmured, eyes on the ground. "They cornered us a few minutes ago and asked where we where because we weren't at dinner. We can't risk it again and let them catch us." Stupid Wolves, why wouldn't they leave them alone?
"Oh, well," Daisuke sighed and looked at the ceiling like this was completely its fault. "But it had that symbol right? So why would your Fortune or whatever her name was show you this book thing if it had nothing on it?"
"I don't know," Takuya sighed, running one hand through his russet hair. "They haven't contacted me since the first time. They said they would help me as much as possible from whatever will happen in the future."
"This book could belong to her," Kouichi said matter-of-factly as they all looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate. He reached out a hand in Takuya's direction and Takuya handed him the book.
Kouichi flipped through the pages just like Takato had been doing moments before. He pulled the small hand mirror he carried everywhere out of a pocket in the inside of his cape. He tilted it in front of the mirror so that he could see the reflection on its surface and examined every page as he turned over them carefully. Kouichi noticed faint white mist curling around the edges of some the pages and a thick veil around Destiny's sign in its reflection. "Some pages have small amounts of Spectral magic around them."
"Really?" Takuya said, looking into the mirror as well but not seeing anything other than the book's blank pages. "Didn't Tanshin say that the Gods live in the Kamigami Court of Hades? And that passage that Takato found says that two unidentified entities that have the power over the life live there as well."
"Yeah," Kouichi nodded, tilting the mirror in another direction. "And unless a Seer has been tampering in Netto's office then this has to be from someone in the Kamigami Court."
It has to be from the Weavers. It just had to be. He could feel that the book was from them to him and they wouldn't just give him a useless book not with the Gods forbidding them to help him. They wouldn't waste this opportunity to tell him what he needed to know. There has to be way to make the book reveal what it was sent here for.
This was the third item that the Weavers gave him; the other two were his weapons, Kuroi and Shiroi. Could it be possible that the daggers were the keys to opening the book's secrets? It was worth a shot wasn't it? He didn't have any better ideas.
Takuya stood up and crawled to his bed, moving the covers so that he could see under the bed. He saw the box sitting peacefully in the dust but he hesitated in getting it. Last time he had gotten stuck and he didn't want to do that again in front of his friends. So instead, he reached in with his arm, reaching until his shoulder bumped into the edge of the bed frame.
He was able to get the box, barely but he dragged it out carefully, making sure that the daggers didn't tumble out. With his friends watching him, he got up and sat back down in his spot on the floor again, his box on his lap.
"Good idea," Kouichi smiled and bended down to lay the book in front of Takuya, tucking his small mirror back into his pockets. It was protocol for a Seer to carry a portable mirror on his person at all times. "They may have some kind of connection with each other."
Everyone leaned in as Takuya opened the smooth lid like he was a vortex sucking everyone in. He faltered a bit before carefully taking out Kuroi since it was Destiny's symbol after all, it looked more like her. He put the black dagger on the floor beside him then closed the lid of the box on Shiroi. He then handed it to Juri, trusting her to take care of it. She was with him after all when he got his daggers; she knows about them more than the others.
Takuya hesitated as he held his black dagger in his right hand, not really knowing what was suppose to happen now or what he was suppose to do. He bit his lip then decided to tap the book or something.
But nothing happened when the sharp tip of the dagger touched the leather cover. Takuya let out a disappointed sigh then tapped the cover again but this time with the obsidian pommel at the other end. Nothing.
"Maybe touch the pages," Takato suggested, shrugging a bit disenchanted with the results so far. He lied to Lee for this? Lee was so going to get him back for this...
"Sure." With his free hand he opened the book to the first page with the black symbol in the middle. Right before the metal point landed, Takuya knew that something was going to happen. And it did.
Kuroi's point landed in the middle of the sun and the obsidian on the handle glowed so softly that nobody really noticed it but they did see Destiny's symbol started to sink into the pages, becoming charcoal, gray, then turning into white, melting like water into a sponge. Then the first piece of paper was blank like there hadn't been a great big blob of black ink there a few seconds ago.
Hazu blinked with blue eyes. "That's new," he commented, starching his head with a hand.
Takuya chuckled happily. He should have known the Weavers would have made something like this. He handed Juri Kuroi, hilt first like Maki had taught them to pass their weapons class just in case you tripped or fell so you wouldn't poke someone's eyes out or something. That would be messy and stupid as Maki eloquently said one class when one of Takuya's classmates handed another a kendo stick point-first. Maki had hit him in the back of the head with the flat of one of his swords, almost knocking him unconscious, and made him run for the rest of class without pause. Then what followed was a long lecture to the rest of the class about proper handling technique. No body dared comment that a kendo stick wouldn't have hurt anybody seriously lest they end up like the poor fellow running around.
Takuya almost cried when he flipped again through the pages and saw that about ten of the pages were covered in beautiful black letters. It looked like all the ink of the symbol had bled into the other pages. He was finally going to find out something that might help him survive whatever was in store for him in the future.
Then Takuya frowned, disillusioned. It turned out that the writing in the book was not only thin but it was in the strangest cursive he had ever seen. He could read pretty well in regular writing but in this jumble of freaky words looked like a snapshot of worms in the middle of having a seizure.
"I'm not even going to try and read this," Takuya said bluntly and shoved the book into Takato's surprised hands.
"Oh, okay," Takato said, shaking off the surprise of and opening to the second page seeing as the first was white. Instantly he saw why Takuya had given him the book. This was the old way of writing only seen in the oldest books. It took a while to figure out which letters were which. "Right."
Everybody watch as Takato prepared himself, clearing his throat and oriented himself on the page. Then he opened his mouth and read the two paragraphs on the page.
"'Since the begging of creation there had been the ten Gods that were made by their own will and power. They are Susanoo the Lord of Thunder, Kaiserleo the Lord of Darkness, Lobo the Lord of Light, Aguni the Lord of Fire, Kuma the Lord of Ice, Kaze the Lady of Wind, Grotto the Lord of Earth, Mercure the Lord of Metal, Rana the Lady of Water, and Arbor the Lord of Wood. They are the protectors of the three planes and made their home in the highest section of Hades, the Kamigami court where they could look over their domain.'
"'With the creation of humans in the plane of Earth there became an unbalance in the flow of energy in all three planes that was born when humans were created, causing magic to leak from Hell and Hades into Earth. To retaliate to this threat and in order to maintain control and balance in the energy in the planes, the ten Gods created two servants to manage the lives of the inhabitants of the planes in the form of fey lines and another two to keep the flow of the cosmos in place. They fused the energy into the human's souls and sealed it off but, because when energy was created it could not be destroyed and if it was not released to substitute the energy that was sealed in them sparingly then the forces of nature would have to compensate for that loss, making the three planes collide. So the servants fused a key that could unseal the energy into certain human's blood thus creating the Users of Magic.'"
"That has to be Destiny and Fate," Takuya nodded while Takato turned the page delicately. "They mentioned that they were sisters to Time and Space as well." That was how Users were created into the world and how blood was made to open their cores. It made sense in a way. That nobles were really just chosen by luck because of the unbalance that existed a long time ago.
"Go on," Juri said, looking fascinated with the story.
"Alright, it continues next. 'They were pleased with their work in their universe but some Gods seemed to want to have a closer connection with their creatures. With their servants help, they fused an increased the souls of a certain individuals they have chosen and gave them the power to use an amount of their own power on Earth. It takes great strength of the soul to command the smallest portion of a God's power and so the Elementals were created.'"
"Wow. Big soul you've got Takuya," Tai smiled, teasing his younger friend who stuck his tongue at him in return. Takuya was relived to see that Tai had gotten out of his sad cocoon and was slowly going back to the Tai he knew.
"What do you know?" Takuya retorted smiling. Tai shrugged good-naturedly and Juri cleared her throat, bring their attention back to Takato.
"It skips the next few pages," Takato said, looking curious and irritated. He searched until he came to the next page with writing then read it silently, figuring out the words before continuing to read out loud.
"'The kingdom made from the inhabitants of Earth thrived for years but suffered along the way. In the year 120 one of the great wars was started in the harbor of Sylin. Sylin was the main trading center of the kingdom at the time; thousands of ships with goods and items came to its port from foreign nations as tribute and exchange to the kingdom. Over five thousand individuals presided in its borders, adding to its craftsmen, sailors, and traders that made up most of the population of this city. It was founded by the sailor who navigated the whole coastline and started the great port city with his family and villagers from further inland.'"
Takuya had a bad feeling he knew just where this section of history was going to end up as.
"'Suddenly, there had been a storm like no other, creating several water cyclones, whirlpools, and twisters crashing and destroying the houses closest to the shore. Ships and boats were torn from their place in the harbor and were swept away, crashing into pieces against the buffeting winds. It was slaughter and the attack took over two thirds of Sylin's territory and only left a scarce five hundred citizens alive that managed to escape in time. The result was that Sylin was covered in water and the ground had stunk a few fifty feet below along with the lowered sea level of the bay. The Knights and soldiers of the king arrived in time to figure out that this attack was not made by Mother Nature but by a User, a Water Elemental. A male who wore that armor and crest of the neighboring nation from which the kingdom had just established a shaky alliance and became trade partners. This was the beginning of the War of the Chanted.'"
"That was in the vision Destiny showed me," Takuya exclaimed, jumping up a bit from the floor.
"Did you get a look at the Elemental's clothing?" Kouichi asked.
Takuya leisurely shook his head as he recalled the vision. "No," he said slowly. "Most of what I saw was the man's face and his eyes. They glowed like mine but more of a deep blue. I guess the color changes."
"Alright, moving on," Takato said, pushing his bangs out of his eyes and bring the book closer to his face.
"'The kingdom declared war on the neighboring nation soon after it was confirmed that it was a deliberate attack. The nation insisted that their accusations were false but were enraged that they were being declared war on for none. The kingdom had proof that the nation wanted war against them since years before, in the year 117, an important court Seer was killed when an Earth Elemental supposedly and accidentally sent an avalanche when the Seer was sent to the nation as an ambassador. The alliance was officially vetoed and the war began in earnest.'
"'Vicious battles were fought and thousands soldiers were lost from both sides. In the year 121, an informant in the form of a spy came to the kingdom with valuable information. A current battle that the kingdom won pushed the nation's army to a recluse village were they were trying in earnest to contact their government for reinforcements. According to the spy, they were in bad condition but still had had over three thousand soldiers who were wounded or sick from the last attack. The king immediately sent a good portion of his army to march to the city through the cover of a nearby canyon. If they captured the village and the army then the nation would have no choice but to surrender.'
"'The army neared the village around noon but a mysterious man with the enemy's armor stood over them when the army was a good mile away. The army never made it to the village as the man was an Earth Elemental and again crushed the army, not letting one soldier get out alive. A chief commander in the army managed to send a message via charmed object before she died. She was another important figure in the court that died by an Elemental's magic, Mibea Iroka.'"
"Hey," Daisuke suddenly popped up. "Didn't we have to do an essay about that Fafdin guy? He was a court Seer in the year 117."
"Yeah!" Takuya exclaimed, remembering the stupid essay that had taken him a week in the library in his free time which could have been spent in a much better way, in his opinion. "But all the books said that he was killed by a freak avalanche not by an Elemental."
"They're hiding Elementals again," Kouichi mused. "I wonder what else we know about that deals with Elementals." They could be hidden in anything from essays to store inventories.
The book has explained two of his three visions but he was most interested in the last one where the Thunder Elemental killed those soldier guys. She looked so resigned and sad…
"The ten Gods were horrified at what their chosen ones were doing to their own people. Their servants were ordered not to connect their magic to any human ever again and so the Elementals were forbidden to be created since the three planes' fey lines were being drastically reduced by their actions.'"
"The book skips about fifteen pages," Takato reported, now getting more familiar with the writing. It seemed the Weavers only wanted them to have certain specific parts information.
"'In the year 229, 105 years after the end of the War of the Canted, a new royal family ruled over the crown. The king, King Oumono and the queen, Queen Naname were the rulers of the kingdom, approved by the ten Gods. Two years after they were named rulers they had a child, a son by the name of Ristek, the new heir to the throne. Three years later another son came by the name of Shiut, a Wizard by the blood of King Oumono's ancestors. The servants of the Gods saw the sad end to the fey lines and granted the royal couple another son by the name of Yume in the year 235, a child favored by the Goddess Kaze though, by the pact, Yume remained a normal human. At long last there was only one more son that Naname gave birth to, Koushaku. 237.'"
"King Koushaku!" Kouichi said, jumping up, having started to fall asleep for some unknown reason (cough). "He's our current king and a pretty good one too. Not to mention he always gives the best gifts." His eyes took over a fond look.
"You know him?" Hazu questioned, a slightly greedy look entering his eyes.
"Yeah," Kouichi smiled and leaned back. "I'm a Minamoto remember? He's like cousin's uncle or something around those lines. My father is one of the twelve main Knights that protect him. I do get to meet him once in a while but Kouji meets him more than me seeing that he is being trained by father to take his place when he is of age."
So Kouji was going to be one of the twelve Knights that guarded the king. This made Takuya start to think about his own unlikely future. What future could there be for a Fire Elemental like him? He doubted he could be in the court of the kingdom like Kouji was going to be. After all, he was pretty sure Elementals had something bad to do with the royal family. Why else would the Weavers give him this information?
"'Their third son was the first to leave them. Yume had been on a hunting party with several servants and hunters into the Rose Forest as it was hunting season. He had turned fourteen, the age were he could join hunting parties. Yume had been separated from the main group by a sudden gust of mist, unable to see in front of his face and barely felt his horse underneath. His horse suddenly bucked, throwing him to the ground and ran off. Yume felt something was wrong because his horse had never acted this way. He walked a ways before the ground beneath him lit up red and black. Instantly knowing it was a rune, he tried to dodge out of the way but he never made it. The Goddess Kaze watched as he was trapped in the Chimera rune and, in an act of pity, managed to extract his soul and freed in into the flow of time. Yume later died in the rune a few months after being caught, his body not being able to support itself anymore.'"
Takuya heard Juri take a shuddering breath and tense. He looked at her concerned and noticed her face was strained and painful. Juri smiled tenably and shook her head, saying she was fine and they should continue. But her face was still white was paper. What was this rune?
"'When Ristek turned eighteen, the crowning ceremony began to be organized since it was the tradition for the firstborn of the royal family to be crowned king or queen on their eighteenth birthday. On their way to the ceremony hall where he was to be crowned, he and his brother, Shiut, were riding in a carriage and a storm suddenly blew over them and their party. A woman with glowing yellow eyes extended her hand at the two boys, Shiut who was trying to open a gate to Hell to summon help and his brother who was trying to get his fighters into formation to attack. Before they could defend themselves thunder thrashed above them and a giant lightning blot fell from the sky and killed the two oldest sons instantly.'"
"I never knew that King Koushaku's brothers had died or that he even had brothers," Kouichi said quietly, looking sad. "I doubt that more than a few people in the court know either."
"I guess they didn't want other people to find or know that they were assassinating the children of the royal family," Tai reasoned. "It would make them look weak."
"Who cared if they looked weak?" Takuya said fervently. "They would want others to know so they could catch the killer and punish her." For a minute he forgot that sad tear in his vision.
"But if they did announce it," Hazu said, from his piece of wall. "It would also send a signal that their defenses were weak enough so that three of the most important royal heirs were assassinated. If that was how they defended their royal heirs then how would they defend their borders? They really had no choice if they wanted to evade an invasion."
"But it still doesn't make it right," Takuya argued back at Hazu. He didn't know why he was quarrelling about this but something made him want to argue the point. "Their sons died! They should have had their murderers behind bars or punished for what they did. Yume, Ristek, and Shiut deserve that at least! They never got to live past their teenage years."
"Don't you think the king and queen wanted just that," Hazu snapped back while Takuya narrowed his eyes. "But they decided that the safety of the kingdom was just that more important."
"More important than their children?" Takuya said hotly, indignantly, unable to imagine any kind of decent parents doing that.
"Think, Takuya," Hazu said, staring with his blue eyes into Takuya's brown ones. "Are three lives worth the thousands that live in the kingdom?"
The air started to turn heated around the two as they stood up and squared against each other, even though Takuya was shorter than Hazu, his heated gaze and crossed arms made him somehow seem taller than he actually was. It surprised the others around them just how Takuya made up for his short stature with his big heart and strong emotions that just wrapped around everyone.
"Guys, calm down," Kouichi said worriedly, starting to sit up with his hands in the air. He was promptly stopped when he felt two heated gazes practically shove him back down. "H-hey…"
"Of course they aren't worth the entire kingdom," Takuya said angrily. "But it's their family, their children. That alone should be enough to fight for them even if they already died!"
Hazu growled. Takuya didn't know why Hazu was suddenly so fixed on this direction in their argument. After Kouichi's shot down, Juri, Daisuke, and Tai all backed off from the fuming pair, wanting to do something but knowing it would turn things worse if they did so.
"If that's how you really feel," Hazu sneered at Takuya. "You're condemning your own people. You're an Elemental too."
Takuya gasped at him before his lips thinning into a firm line that made his eyes flash dangerously and his fists tighten as well. Hazu, against his will, blinked at the strange turn.
"So you think just because I'm an Elemental as well, I will automatically side with them," Takuya whispered, rage, anger, and hurt beneath every word but self confidence and the absolute defiance all but overruled the emotions. Takuya moved forwards until he was less than a foot in front of Hazu and his surprised eyes, the air around him burning as if his magic was heating it.
Takuya could feel the indignantly and disbelief course through his veins like boiling water. He had to strain everything Tanshin taught him to stop his core from exploding and burning everything in his view. He could feel his arms and chest shaking with the extrusion that ruined his life in the past and branded him as inapproachable. How could his friend accuse him of… being related to those monsters, those murderers? Did Hazu judge him that shallowly to say those words that easily? He was not. Never! He would kill himself before he ever did that. He wasn't a killer, he wasn't!
He wasn't!
"Let me tell you this," Takuya whispered, unnervingly digging his gaze into his friend who was starting to look scared but Takuya never noticed; he was too enraged to see straight. "I would never turn my back to those who mean everything to me. I am my own. I am not like them. I'M NOT!"
Takuya could barely suppress his core that was reacting to his anger. Takuya couldn't take this anymore. Suddenly, a rush of wind flew into his ears like millions of little voices, each telling him to do something different. Takuya felt his body move forwards and barrel past Hazu, knocking him into the wall. His mind was somewhere else, looking over his body, moving like he was detached from himself. He could hear faintly the cries of his friends over the roar in his ears as he ran down the hallways, blindly searching for somewhere, anywhere, where he wouldn't feel his core threatening to destroy the life he always wanted.
He ran without feeling his feet hit the floor and didn't feel anything when he crashed into walls or people, he only ran. It was like he was floating in nothing. He could only feel the overwhelming burning sensation in the pit of his stomach that was slowly spreading everywhere, no matter how he pushed it back. He could sense something like betrayal leaving a metallic taste in the back of his throat. Takuya didn't notice when several teachers yelled at him for running in the halls nor did he recognize the young blonde teenager he bumped into. He didn't feel when the teenager grasped his shoulder in an iron grip that would have crushed rock. He didn't feel when the hands were retracted quickly when Takuya's body shoved him to side. He just wanted to get away from everything. Every single goddamn thing in this world.
From the talking wind.
From the core that wanted to ruin his life again.
From the anger in him.
From the hurt that dug in his heart.
From the sense of betrayal.
From the doubt.
Takuya didn't know when he burst from the doors into the field behind the school, didn't recognize the floor beneath him that turned into grass. His cape flew behind him, forgotten. His feet moved quickly on the shore of the lake, his blind eyes straining not to let tears fall when he knew they would only burn him like fire could never out of his dreams. This felt like a dream. Looking at himself without seeing, running instinctually to the nearest safe place. His lungs felt as though he hadn't breathed in years, unable to work enough to function like they were made to. He didn't care, he didn't anymore. He felt as though his body could die but all this turmoil would continue in his spirit as he passed through Hades back to Earth.
His legs didn't feel like his legs anymore. They were working by someone else's orders, pushing from the ground without his consent. He wanted to cry, he really did but he couldn't. No tears went farther than putting heavy pressure on the back on his eyes as if they wanted to flow but there was something holding him from swimming past their confines. They were caught behind his eyes.
Air flew past his face as his knees suddenly buckled as if unable to hold his weight anymore. His knees hit the ground with enough force to send a trill of pain past the fog in his brain and almost bringing his sight back to him. His palms hit sharp needles and rocks as they mechanically reached forwards to catch his fall, making his head hang down to stare unseeingly. His hair dangled down like a curtain of hair that swayed with the wind as if trying to wake him up.
Takuya slowly, sluggishly became aware to his surroundings like a person who was waking up after centuries of sleep, sounds replacing the taunting wind that he could not figure the words of. The black in his vision was, little by little becoming strips of green mixed with the shadowy light from above. A small prickling sensation made its way through his murky brain that grew as his awareness increased like it didn't want to be in the world around it again. A gasp burst from his lips as air was thrust into his lungs, finally bring him back down into himself.
Gasps burst from his mouth as he looked at the damp grass beneath his fingers, soaking into his pants. His arms trembled like they were going to give away soon if he didn't move. Takuya let his elbows bend, laying his forearms against the ground which, he saw as he turned his head wearily, was littered with leaves, grass, and moss almost like some kind of abstract painting.
Takuya felt so tired as if he had fought a vicious battle and had gotten the worst end of the deal. He let himself fall on the ground and roll over onto his back, squinting at the small glimpses of light that shone through the canopy of leaves. Leaves? Takuya closed his eyes as the thought came to him; his wrist lay on his forehead, palm facing upwards. His body had run to the forest behind the school. When he was little and had been back in Izumai, he always ran to the closest place where he could be away from the yells and shouts of the other kids. He had wanted to run home or to Mimi but shame just somehow drew him away and he found himself in the middle of trees. Why would his parents or Mimi want a little worthless kid like him? Takuya felt better in the trees. They never yelled at him or shouted insults at him; in some sense they were his friends just because they were inanimate. Takuya chuckled dryly. It made sense for him to have run here just like he was a little kid.
Takuya closed his eyes again, exhaling deeply. The wind in his ears died down and the burning in his lungs had been replaced with hollowness. He felt bad…so bad. He should have never run from his friends like that, Hazu was only arguing his point; after all, they were two different people with two different views. But that comment… it hurt, it really did. He would never hurt all those people like past Elementals did. He treasured his family above all things and he would never hurt another family, it would be like killing his own. He was his own person; no one in the past would push him into doing something that he wouldn't do.
But deep down in the darkest corner of his mind, there was a seed of doubt. What if he was destined to be one of them? Takuya scolded himself for even thinking of that but, as panic mounted in his heart, he couldn't stop feeling the uncertainty dig deeper into him. He didn't have a fey line, the Weavers told him themselves. He would make his own future, showing everyone that he would never turn against them.
A face flashed in the front of his memories. The cold expression of the man with blue eyes, the self-loathing smile on the green eyed man, and the lonely, acidic tear trailing down the yellow glowing woman's face. They were like him, caught between what they were and who they wanted to be. When he saw them, he could feel the despair and sadness around them like they wanted to die. It scared him. No one should feel that way, never. Why did they do those things and why did they feel that way? It made no sense. He didn't want to be like them. He didn't want to feel the total feeling of despair and hopelessness. What would have happened to them for them to feel that way in their life?
"My freewill was taken from me."
What did that mean? She had her freewill taken from her but it was her free will, how could someone take it away?
"A person can't keep people from having a bad opinion of him, but he can keep them from being right about it."
It is true. No one could stop some one else from thinking bad thoughts about them and hating them but the person could act, say, or do something else entirely to prove that the person thought wrong about them. He could prove to others that Takuya was no killer. He was his own self and no one could make him do otherwise.
"Too bad it's too late for me."
Those seven words freighted him deeply. It's too late…What made her too late for her to prove others that she wasn't what they thought of her. What could have made those three Elementals and the thousands before them to lose hope? For them to be too late.
Was it already too late for him?
No. NO. He couldn't think like that. If he thought that then it really would be too late for him. Takuya whimpered and buried his face in his raised knees in front of him, glad that no one was here to see him looking so pathetic. He drew his arms around his knees and locked his hands together under his kneecaps as if trying to get a hold on himself. Where had his cheerfulness and happiness gone to? He was so happy to get here, to make new friends for the first time, to get a chance at true happiness next to the people he loved. Loved…he had never used that word to describe his feelings for people other than his family. Was he really growing so much that he began to use that word so frequently? He never had more than four people to try and attach that word to. Suddenly through his mood of hopelessness, a light ray of joy lit him up but was soon dampened. He came so close to unleashing his magic on them because he was so angry. He wanted to burn something, to make something or someone feel the torment that was burning inside him. Was he already turning into one of them?
No. No he couldn't.
No…
Takuya was so wrapped up in his mental struggle that he didn't hear the crunching of leaves to his left. His head was still pressed to his knees, eyes tightly shut against the world. He wanted someone- anyone- to tell him what he was supposed to do. He didn't know anymore. At first he just wanted to learn magic to protect his family against the Black Oracle. Then he wanted to protect his friends who befriended him and stood next to him like few people had done before. Then he wanted to find out why his descendants by magic turned into monsters that killed for no apparent reason. Now he was just lost. There was nothing left for him to do.
There had always been an objective to look for at the end of the road so he wouldn't look at the sidewalks, it helped him focus on one point and ignore what really happened around him. He always though of himself as a honesty guy who could take anything thrown at him, after all, he had been taking insults and rejection for the first fourteen years of his life. But now…he was actually hiding wasn't he? He was putting up a front, getting defensive, putting on a fake smile, running away just because he didn't want to get hurt anymore. Not again, please no…
Please…
"Takuya, what are you doing here?"
Takuya froze as if those words were made of iced water. No, Gods, please anybody but him. Takuya pushed his face harder against his knees in a vain attempt to block out the crunching noises of leaves as he moved closer. Takuya was dreaming. He was dreaming! Let this be a dream. He could survive if anybody else saw him but he would die if he saw him in such a pitiable state. What would he think now that he saw Takuya like this? He would lose all his chances not that he had many in the beginning. He wanted to wake up from this dream now.
"May I sit down?" When Takuya gave no reply, he sat down anyway next to Takuya's unmovable form. Takuya was sure that his embarrassment had burned his voice box to ashes.
Takuya could feel his warmth next to him and felt his face flush as if the heat had been transferred straight to his cheeks. For a few tense (to Takuya) moments in which Takuya could just feel his gaze on him, even though Takuya could not see for what because, well, his face was still plastered to his knees like he was going to die if he moved his head the tiniest fraction. Go away…
Don't see me like this.
Kouji gazed silently at the distraught boy beside him, his eyes trying to find what's wrong without actually speaking. Kouji hadn't really thought about what he would actually say but when Takeru had burst into his room and told him that Takuya had just ran down the hall to the silver lake, looking like he was about to commit suicide, he had jumped off his bed and was halfway down the hall before Ryo could do more than blink. Kouji had run down the halls without stopping even using some of his magic to pass some teachers and students. His heart had been pounding in his ears and his legs couldn't run fast enough. Some weird sort of fear had nestled inside him, actually scared that Takuya would jump in the lake and drown. This had been a totally different kind of fear than the kind when he was little and still afraid of his cousin's huge dog. It had struck him hard and deep.
Kouji's sharp eyes had caught the obvious path that Takuya had barreled through; broken branches, smashed leaves, and messed up bushed had marked the trail easily from him to follow. He forced himself to calm down by almost breathing out his lungs, forcing panic and fear down to be replaced with indifference and calmness, his face schooled into an expressionless one. It disturbed him how much difficult it was to do that. It had been a fraction harder than when he became controlled in the past. How was Takuya able to affect him this much?
Awkward silence settled over the two boys like a think blanket, smothering and unavoidable. Kouji didn't know what to do and Takuya was just sitting there, looking all depressed and shit. He was obviously not willing to talk if the way he was rolling into a tighter ball said anything. Kouji had never been this uncomfortable and it unnerved him that he was nervous.
Kouji was about to open his mouth not even knowing what he was going to say when Takuya spoke up.
"What would you do…?" Takuya whispered so softly that if Kouji hadn't been listening intently he would have never heard him.
"Takuya?" Kouji said softly, inviting him to open up and tell him what's wrong. He didn't even recognize his soft voice. He hadn't used that type of a voice in a long time.
Takuya was silent, cursing himself for even trying to talk. He was supposed to be mute, remember? But he wanted to talk to somebody and maybe Kouji could help. Even if it was only to listen, maybe Kouji wouldn't tell him how disgusted he was.
"What would you do if no matter what you did everyone thought you were going to grow into something you didn't want to?" Takuya said softly, shifting a little, shoulders shaking a little.
Kouji looked surprised then a thoughtful expression fell over his face like he was trying really to think hard about the answer. "It wouldn't matter what others thought about you," Kouji said, looking past Takuya into the forest towards the lake. "If you followed the path you wanted to go, it would show others that you were different than they believed."
"But what if you had no choice than becoming that something?" Takuya gathered his courage and moved his head so that he could see a sliver of the world over his knees. He couldn't even look in Kouji direction.
"Then why do you fight it if you really think that," Kouji questioned, mentally willing Takuya to look his way. It would make things easier if he could see what Takuya was thinking. These were kind of random questions but he felt that it meant a lot to Takuya.
"Because I don't want to…" Takuya could feel the pressure behind his eyes and sighed shakily. He moved his head sideways so that his gaze landed directly on Kouji's profile. He was sitting with one leg stretched out and the other bended slightly so that the knees were roughly level with his chest. Kouji's deep azure eyes were looking forwards into the green flora. He looked so pensive and thoughtful like he was contemplating the meaning of life. Takuya felt his heart clench with unbearable pressure. Takuya wanted to be with Kouji so bad, even for just a few seconds.
"I don't want to become that," Takuya said shakily but he was grasping himself better and was able to unclench his hands.
"Then what's the point hoping you'll turn to be something else if it had already been decided?" Kouji said, still not looking at Takuya.
"Because hoping is the only thing I can do," Takuya said valiantly, surprising himself with the emotion he was displaying. "Even if the whole world says otherwise you can still hope that it'll turn out alright in the end."
"That'll just make the failure at the end that much harsher," Kouji said calmly.
Takuya faltered, gaping at Kouji. That was true. If you spent your whole life hoping for something then when it doesn't happen it would make you feel like you spent your whole life lying to yourself.
"But your life would be full of despair," Kouji said suddenly, making Takuya shoot a startled look at him. "If you hope then you could have a chance of fighting it and maybe succeeding, if not outside then inside as proof to yourself that you tired."
Kouji then moved his head and looked right into Takuya eyes. There was a strange feeling as he looked into Takuya brown orbs, something like a warm fuzziness that felt in place of a fairytale. The surprise in the eyes melted into sweet thankfulness and gratitude that made Kouji feel that it was the right choice to follow Takuya.
"Thanks Kouji," Takuya breathed, smiling for the first time since he bailed on his friends.
Kouji only nodded and forced himself to look away from those bright eyes lest he do something stupid. And he felt kind of…high from those two little words. Kouji had a feeling that if he didn't have a hold on the ground he would have floated away.
There was another silence this time but it was more peaceful and light, a kind of silence in which a person could easily fall asleep. Takuya felt lighter than before as if Kouji's words smoothed the ripples in him, a feat that even his parents struggled with. It may be true that he would turn into those monsters but he would fight with all his soul to avoid that from happening. Takuya would stay on his own two feet and face whatever was thrown at him with a smile because, that was all he could do.
All he could do was to hope and fight.
Kouji suddenly had the weirdest urge. The urge to reach over to the now peaceful boy and comfort him even more. Kouji mentally sighed. What was the matter with him? There was only one reason he could come up with and it was utterly ridiculous. He couldn't be… Could he be…
Was he falling in love?
Kouji's heart skipped a beat at the thought and he glanced deviously to the side. Could he actually be falling in love with Takuya? Kouji observed as Takuya's chestnut hair fell into his wide eyes that looked like the muddiest spring water reflecting in the light. Eyes that held so much emotion he felt chilly in comparison. Kouji was always cold to anything but he didn't feel cold right now. No, he felt frozen. Frozen in a solid block of ice that he wanted to melt so he could feel. Only fire could do that. Only Takuya could melt him.
Takuya was feeling drunk on the warm fluffiness that settled inside him like butterflies landing delicately on leaves. He loved the feeling of being so close to Kouji, it was like his favorite treat that he almost never ate. Out of the corner of his eye he was Kouji shifting and, before he could do anything more then blink, he felt a hesitant arm curl around his waist slowly as if scared that something would bite it and a hand landed on his right hip softly.
Takuya sucked in a surprised gasp at the unexpected action and he felt the arm stiffen and hesitantly start to retract back. Takuya suddenly didn't want the arm to leave. He didn't want to do anything to displease anybody else anymore. And he found that he really liked the momentary warmth that the arm brought.
So Takuya shifted closer to Kouji and moved his right hand so that it fell over Kouji's hand that gave a startled jerk. He smiled and guided Kouji's arm to fully encompass his waist as he leaned into Kouji's side, nuzzling Kouji's neck like no tomorrow. He didn't know why he was acting so…affectionate and courageous but he really wanted it and need to be comforted. He also had the memory of the little side kiss thing and that boosted his courage a fraction. He breathed pleased and very comfortable.
Kouji was frozen, unable to do anything other than to stare as Takuya snuggled into his side, one hand on Kouji's and his other hand in Takuya's lap. Takuya sighed and Kouji felt the cold in him start to melt away as Takuya's warmth pleasantly heated him from the inside, deeper than he expected. Takuya's leg was hooked over Kouji's straight leg and didn't look like it was moving anytime soon.
Kouji slowly started to relax, allowing himself to move his shoulder so that Takuya could rest his head on it. It was weird how easily they could lie like this, without embarrassment or confusion in their movements that would spoil the mood around the two boys. Kouji had to admit, to be able to hold Takuya like this, to have his head on his shoulder and to be this close to see the happiness shinning through his eyes, was nice. The closet thing Kouji could say to describe this moment was this was some kind of heaven.
Kouji wanted to freeze this moment in time and Takuya unconsciously wished this as well. They stayed like this for endless moments, relishing in their shared peace and satisfaction. Takuya felt so happy…
"Am I a bad kisser?" Kouji blurted, out of nowhere, making Takuya jump a bit.
Takuya turned his head to stare owlishly at Kouji, his mind not processing the question at the moment. The he blushed, tilting his head at Kouji.
"I, um, I'm not sure," Takuya stammered a bit, now accurately of how bold he had been and the embarrassment was starting to creep on him. "Um, h-how would I k-know?"
Kouji shot him a look that made him realize how stupid of a question that was. "I did kiss you, you know, or did you forget?" Kouji's eyebrows furrowed at the thought.
"No!" Takuya said a little too loudly and made Kouji move his head a bit since Takuya had yelled in his ear. Not pleasant. "It was just that it really wasn't a real kiss."
Kouji thought about it and realized that Takuya was right. He had brushed his lips on the corner of Takuya's own. It had been intense but what would a real kiss make him feel? In a burst of mischievousness he decided that if he really wanted to get his answer then he would have to show Takuya what a real kiss was.
"You're right," Kouji practically purred in Takuya's ear, his black hair falling onto Takuya's shoulders as he swung himself to the right, his leg slipping over Takuya's and pushing Takuya who yelped in shock, on his back. His knees were on either side of Takuya's hips in a loose straddle.
Takuya looked at him with wide eyes now that he was on his back with Kouji's hands on either side of his face, looking down with dark blue eyes at his trapped form. Now this was totally unexpected…
"So let me show you a real kiss, shall I?" Kouji smirked from his advantage height and, before Takuya could do anything, Kouji swooped down like a bird of prey and captured Takuya's lips full on.
Takuya's mind flashed back to that day in the infirmary, when he had felt like he had never before. Those lips felt the same as that day but more…warm and inviting like this was the real thing. They felt so right against his lips like they were made specifically from his own and only for his own. The same tingling feeling sweep over his body from top to bottom and he unconsciously slowly closed his eyes, knowing that the wonderful feeling would increase. Takuya sighed.
Kouji felt his lips spread in a smile and pressed his lips more firmly, relishing in the passive way Takuya was acting, allowing him to move his head to get a better angle. This was perfect and the smell that came off Takuya was that like vanilla, soft, sweet and utterly addictive. He could live on the smell forever and be the healthiest man alive. Why did he just peck at Takuya's lips before? This was much more satisfying. Maybe he should go further…
This was amazing and Takuya would have given his soul away if it meant that he could have this every minute of the day. Did this mean that Kouji…liked him? Well, he certainly wasn't jumping away in disgust. Mmmm, Gods, if this was a dream then he never, ever, wanted to wake up.
Unfortunately, lung capacity wasn't Takuya strong point so Kouji halfheartedly retreated and once again looked down on Takuya, who was gasping (even though Kouji could have had lasted longer seeing as he could use his magic) with an odd expressionless look, eyes unreadable.
Takuya sucked in air through slightly red lips and flushed a really crimson color. Gods… "I think you're a good kisser," Takuya said, smiling shyly and shifting a bit just noticing that a branch was digging into his back. His first real kiss…
Kouji hummed for a bit. Then he drew back, to Takuya's disappointment, so he was kneeling to the side of Takuya and stood up, dusting his pants for pieces of dirt and grass that managed to stick to him. Takuya blinked, puzzled at Kouji's behavior, and pushed back with his arms so that he was kneeling on the ground, hair sticking up from where it was messed up, looking up at Kouji.
Kouji gazed silently down at him then turned around and started down the path he came from, his ponytail swaying in the breeze. He looked coolly detached from the world as he walked back to the school, leaving Takuya alone in the little expanse of field.
Takuya gaped at his back. He's going away like that? With no expiation or anything? Takuya couldn't help but to feel hurt rise inside him and looked down. What did he do? Why was Kouji walking away? Kouji had to say something. He couldn't leave Takuya like his!
"Kouji!" Takuya shouted, anger starting to shine through his eyes. Takuya quickly got up, ignoring the sudden blast of dizziness as Kouji's steps faltered for a fraction of a second. ""Where are you going? You have no right to walk away like that!"
Takuya puffed in anger, wanting to march over there and shake him stupid. After kissing him like that he just walks away without so much as a word. Was he really that worthless? Kouji then briefly looked over his shoulder, face cold as ice.
"I'll meet you in three days as we agreed," Kouji said shortly, looking uncaring and starting to walk away. "Training building, don't forget." Then, with a sudden flurry of fast movement, Kouji disappeared in a blur. The leaves that had been under him had been thrown in the air with the sudden movement; the only evidence that Kouji had been there at all. Damn Knight.
Takuya stood there, not knowing what to do then he sank to the ground again, looking at the ground without actually seeing it. What, what happened? Kouji left like that, just like that. Like Takuya wasn't worth talking to after kissing that perfect and warming kiss. Was it really like he thought? Maybe Kouji really was only playing with him, seeing as he was naïve and utterly gullible. Takuya sighed and felt a wave of self-pity crash around him. He had a halfhearted attempt to push it away but he was too tired to make it go away completely, inside and out.
Kouji never gave him straight answers, he always had to do something meaningful then leave without explaining. Was he really that confident that he didn't need to explain anything to anyone? Or was he just that insecure about himself? Takuya really hoped that it was the latter because…
He didn't want to get hurt anymore. He really didn't. For all his life he had been practically alone save for those few people who made the effort to get past his barriers. They were so few people; most pegged him as an enemy or monster without knowing who he really is. Takuya chuckled dryly. He didn't even know who he really was anymore. I don't want to be hurt anymore, he thought sadly and broken. All I want is to really live.
Please, Gods, please…
Please…
AHHHH! Bad Kouji leaving Takuya like that. I'll so get reviews demanding why I did that won't I? Well, anyways, next chapter we shall see a closer look into Kouji's mind shall we. From that info in chapter twelve can anyone venture a guess at why Kouji did that? Kudos for you if you do.
The angst is really getting to me isn't it? I was in the mood anyway. Right I have to go now so please review for me.
Peace out.